Chapter 20
Ashtyn
Pushing open the door, I see my best friend lying in a hospital bed. She’s looking out the window and doesn’t acknowledge me coming in. They told me she was hysterical when they brought her in, so they sedated her. Now she’s refusing to talk. I figure if she is going to talk to anyone, it will be me. Or at least I hope that it will be me.
I see Hudson sitting in the chair next to her bed and from the way he’s rubbing his face, I’m guessing I woke him up when I came in.
“So she’s still not talking?”
He shakes his head with a small frown.
I wish I knew what would help her right now. I wish that we could travel back in time and tell her parents not to get on that plane. Or that there was some mystery drug that would make her happy. Something. Anything.
Hudson stands up from the chair and walks over to the bed. Leaning down, he kisses her sweetly on the forehead and turns back to me.
“I’m going to go walk around for a bit and leave you two to talk. If anyone can get her talking, I bet it’s you.”
“Thank you, Hudson. Not just for right now but for Chloe. You’ve been with her while I couldn’t be. I felt like a failure of a best friend because I couldn’t be here for her.”
“Even if she’s not talking, she knew you were hurt too, Ashtyn. Don’t beat yourself up. You were both in that accident.”
He gives me a quick hug and then leaves. The door slams behind him and I’m suddenly aware of the silence.
Pulling up the chair that Hudson had used, I say, “Hey, Chlo. It’s Ashtyn.”
She looks away from the window and turns her attention toward me. I think that’s a good sign.
“Look, they told me that you aren’t talking. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you.”
She looks away again, and I break down into sobs. How did my lively and vivacious best friend turn into this broken person? I barely even recognize her. It’s like she’s not actually here with me right now.
I lean forward and lay my head down on her bed and release everything. This whole situation is so fucked up and ridiculous. One minute she’s having boy problems and the next she’s an orphan. How is that even okay?
It’s not okay.
I spent my entire summer complaining like a spoiled little brat. I called this my summer from hell and it wasn’t even close to that. Chloe’s summer turned into a complete shit storm.
Hers.
Not mine.
I’m wracking my brain trying to think of anything to get her to come out of it. Pulling my cell phone out, I pull up my music. If anything can put either one of us in a better mood, it’s a good playlist. Scrolling through my phone, I find a new playlist titled, “Somewhere other than hell.”
Definitely not something I put on there. Clicking on it, the music starts playing and I can’t stop the smile on my face.
He made me a freakin’ playlist.
If I weren’t already in love with Flynn, I would be now. I can’t even believe that he did that for me. I didn’t think much about his comment that day by the pool. I guess he didn’t want me to have a summer from hell.
I’m lost in the music so I don’t even realize that Chloe’s attention is back on me. I’m shocked when she opens her mouth to speak.
“That’s what I want.”
Jumping up and out of the chair, I yell, louder than I should, “Oh my gosh! Chloe! You’re talking.”
“Stop yelling and sit down, Ashtyn.”
My face heats up with redness. Oops. I guess I let my excitement get the better of me.
“I’m sorry. I got a little excited. But you’re talking.”
She rolls her eyes and replies, “I never lost the ability to talk. I just didn’t have anything worth saying.”
“Okay. So, what did you want to say now?”
“I want what you have.”
“Oh, Chloe, I’m so sorry. I know your parents—”
“I’m not talking about my parents. I’m talking about you and Flynn. I want that. I’m sick and tired of all the bullshit and games.”
“Why were you hooking up with Jax all the time then?”
Leaning her head back into her pillow, she exhales her breath loudly. Okay, what did I say now?
“That’s the thing, Ashtyn. People have always just assumed with me. I have a certain reputation and I can’t seem to escape it.”
Uh, what? I don’t know where she’s going with this. When I don’t say anything, she continues.
“I never had sex with Jax.”
Definitely didn’t expect that one.
“What do you mean you never had sex with Jax?”
“Exactly what I just said. We hung out and talked a lot. Mostly he complained about his ex and I complained about my lack of love.”
“But you guys slept together.”
“Yeah, we slept, nothing more. I tried to get him to have sex with me on multiple occasions but he never would. Said he respected me too much to do that.”
And that’s how she fell in love with him. I grab her and pull her into me for a giant hug. I can’t believe Chloe fell in love right before me, and I never figured it out. I was too caught up in my own life and drama to realize what was happening to my own best friend.
“I fucking suck as a best friend. I’m so sorry.”
She laughs but pulls me in tighter. “Yeah, you kind of do.”
I don’t know how long we hug for but when I let go, she’s back to not talking again. I guess she said what she needed to.
Epilogue
Ashtyn
One Month Later
Opening the door, Flynn does a double take before asking, “Ashtyn, what are you doing here?”
I start to tremble and I can’t help how loud my voice is when I say, “I had my doctor’s appointment today. My mom just dropped me off.”
His face lights up like a kid in a candy store. He’s been so sweet and has never brought up sex during our entire relationship. He doesn’t want to pressure me but right about now I could use some pressure in my lady parts.
His smile wavers as he asks me, “What did your doctor say?”
Wandering into his living room, I stand in front of the window and look outside. “Oh, not much. I need to continue everything I’m doing.”
In the reflection in the window, I see his shoulders drop. He rubs the back of his neck. When I turn back around the smile on his face masks his true feelings. I’m just glad he chose to become a rock star and not an actor because that would be a very short-lived career. Before I can drop my act and say something, he beats me to it.
“As long as you’re still doing okay and healing then that’s good. Did you want to watch a movie or something? Or is your mom waiting downstairs for you?”
He’s incredibly sweet but I’m over it. Crossing my arms, I stop him. “Flynn, stop talking. My doctor told me I’m healing up nicely. I got the okay to continue normal activity.”
“Well, we shouldn’t rush into anything. I’m perfectly fine with waiting. Why don’t we just wait until we know for sure you’re better.”
I throw my hands up in the air. Action is going to be the only way to get his attention. I rip my shirt off over my head and start walking back toward his bedroom.
Tossing the shirt at him I say, “I’m done with waiting. Besides, we need to christen your new bedroom. I’m more than willing to do that by myself but it will be much more fun with you.”
After I left the hospital, Flynn finally spent some of the money he had sitting in his bank account. He bought himself a place. Apparently, when you have as much money as he does sitting in the bank and you’re spending cash, things move quickly. It’s nothing lavish but it’s cute and close to Hudson and Jax’s parents’ house. It’s all his own and I absolutely love it.
Jude was able to take over the apartment since he’s working part-time at the pub now. He’s just bussing tables but part of the requirement of h
is emancipation was he needed a job. I don’t know all the details of his past, but he says he’s happier now than he’s ever been.
Flynn doesn’t even hesitate before running down the hallway at full speed toward me, causing me to squeal like a little girl. I turn to run but I’m cornered. The only thing left to do is let him catch me.
Making it to the doorway, he slows down like a predator stalking his prey. My heart is pounding and my body starts to tingle all over. He pulls his shirt over his head, and I immediately start salivating. Instinctually, my tongue darts out and licks my lips.
I want him to catch me and have his way with me. Being playful and teasing, I pretend to do a striptease. My fingers fumble with the zipper and my hands won’t stop shaking. His hooded eyes are adding more pressure to the moment and I break under it. Dropping my chin to my chest, I feel like covering up and fleeing.
I’m terrified and I can’t wait for this to happen. I’ve wanted this from the moment I laid my eyes on Flynn. I can’t help the insecurities that pop up. Even though he doesn’t throw his history around, I know he’s more experienced than I am. I’ve only ever been with one guy, so I have no idea whether or not I’m actually good at this.
How do you ever really know?
Stalking toward me, his desire for me radiates off his body, which causes my stress level to go up a notch. He loves me but it still scares me that I won’t be good enough for him.
Understanding my internal battle, Flynn grabs me and slowly caresses my face while whispering in my ear. “I love you and no matter what, this will be amazing. Get out of your head.”
I melt into his touch, grateful that he always knows how to say the right thing. After such a short time, he knows me so well and that’s why we’re so perfect for each other. I sigh and relax. I don’t have to stress about anything that’s going to happen between us. I push back from him and put my hands on the waistband of my jeans. Gaining a burst of confidence, I unbutton and unzip my jeans. I slowly pull them down my legs, and his eyes get even darker.
Finally pulling them off, I’m in only my panties and bra. I fight the urge to cover myself up and force myself to stand there as he takes in my body. I’m not ashamed of anything, but I don’t have the curviest body around. My body is comparable to that of a prepubescent teenager but I can’t change that. I have a fantastic ass but fall in the A-minus category when it comes to my boobs.
My entire body tingles with his perusal. It’s as if his eyes are burning into my skin, and I can’t help my arousal. If he doesn’t have a problem with what he sees, then neither do I. All I care about is his opinion and if the desire dripping off him is any indication, he’s enjoying every minute of it.
My palms are saturated as he stalks toward me. I’m so nervous right now, it’s like I’m a virgin all over again. Never having had sex with someone I love kind of makes me a virgin in a way. I glance up and his eyes show me nothing but desire. My body gravitates toward him; I crave his touch. I’m scorching where our skin meets and a shot of desire hits me straight to my core.
Not waiting for a response, my hands go straight to his waistband and I start to unbutton his pants. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time, so I don’t wait to pull his pants off. We’re both standing there in only our underwear and my cheeks heat up in the familiar way that Flynn always causes. Flynn’s boxer briefs hug him in all the right places, leaving very little to the imagination. We’ve been naked around each other before but we didn’t spend much time paying attention last time. Something about knowing what’s about to happen makes everything different.
I take deep breaths as the heaviness of the situation sits in my stomach. Sensing my hesitation, Flynn leans forward and presses his forehead against mine, resting his hand against my cheek. I lean into it and I know everything is going to be okay. We both want this and we love each other. There’s absolutely nothing for me to be afraid of.
Leaving featherlight kisses up and down my jaw, Flynn says, “We don’t have to do this. I’m okay with stopping at any time. I don’t want to rush you.”
I melt into him even more and, if it’s possible, I fall a little bit more in love with him. This man is the kindest and most amazing person I’ve ever met. I don’t know how I got so lucky to find Flynn, but I won’t ever let him go.
“I love you, Flynn, and I don’t want to stop. I got a little nervous. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is stop.”
“I love you too, Ashtyn. So much that I’m willing to risk blue balls for you.”
I crack up laughing. Only Flynn would break up the tension with humor. The bats in my stomach ease up to butterflies, but they’re still flapping like crazy. Instead of saying anything else, I step back and slowly take my bra and panties off.
Flynn’s eyes trail my body from my head to my toes and back up again. They shine with approval and it causes me to squirm under his scan. He’s like a boy on Alternative Press Music Awards night. Shaking his head out of a dazed stupor, he quickly strips out of his boxer briefs and pulls me down onto the bed. He rests between my legs, caressing my face and looking lovingly into my eyes. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Ashtyn. I love you so much.”
Softening into his touch, I pull him down into a deep and passionate kiss. My skin tingles under his fingertips and my lips are on fire. I break the kiss, and everything becomes very real when the foil from the wrapper rips. Lying back on top of me, Flynn tells me he loves me, and waits for my approval. I nod my head and he slowly pushes himself inside. His arms are shaking as he stills above me. It’s incredibly tight and he lets me get used to the fullness before starting again.
Moving our bodies together, I now understand the difference between making love and having sex. I always assumed they were interchangeable but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was always just mechanical and about getting off, nothing else. Strictly sex.
With Flynn, we’re putting all of our love into it, and I don’t even know why some people prefer the other to this. Our eyes never leave each other and the amazing connection we have heightens everything. My entire body is burning and I can’t help letting Flynn know exactly how I’m feeling. I have my arms wrapped around Flynn’s neck and I never want to let go. He’s paying extra attention to me and I feel the familiar tightening start to coil deep in my belly.
We shout out our love for each other as we each find our release. Never in my short eighteen years of life did I think that was possible. I’ve had orgasms in my life but no guy has ever cared enough to ensure we were both taken care of.
Hopping off the bed, Flynn cleans himself up in the bathroom and comes back with a warm washcloth. Gently, he takes care of me as well and my heart swells with the love I’m feeling. He gets back into bed and pulls me in close. We lie there holding each other tight and everything is just right between us.
He kisses me on my temple and I never want him to let go. Turning around in his arms, I look up at him and I know there is nowhere I’d rather be. His entire face is lit up with the biggest smile and I know mine looks the same.
“I love you, Flynn. So much.”
Moving my hair out of my eyes, he looks down at me with nothing but love. “I love you too Ashtyn.”
He leans down and kisses me, and I sigh with contentment. I turn back around and press my back to his front. I snuggle in close and we just lie there.
Flynn’s even breathing blows on the back of my neck, and I turn my head slightly to find him sleeping. I slide out from underneath him and find his T-shirt on the floor. Sitting on his back porch, I contemplate everything that’s happened.
My mind goes from the hospital, to the accident, and eventually ends up on Chloe. I don’t know how she’s going to recover from this, but she has to. I can’t watch my best friend on this downward spiral. It seems silly but all I can think is W.W.K.D. (What would Kate do)? Kate Sedgwick is my first book best friend and she always lives her life on the Bright Side. If she were here, she would know how to pull Chloe out of
this.
I’m not going to pretend to know what she’s going through because I don’t. I still have both of my parents. She lost both of hers so suddenly and unexpectedly. I wish she would just talk to me. I wouldn’t care if it were just about the weather.
These days she isn’t giving me much of anything. She’s been putting on a brave face but I’m her best friend, so I know she’s dying inside. For some weird reason, she and Hudson have gotten a lot closer. I hope she’s at least confiding in him if she isn’t going to talk to me. I can tell he truly cares for her, and he would be good for her. They would be good for each other.
My mind continues to wander to Abbie and I’m so happy she’s here. Something’s going on with her, and I hope we become close enough for her to open up to me. I don’t want her to be alone in everything she’s going through.
Although, she isn’t alone since she’s started hanging out with Jude. I guess when I was in the hospital he helped calm her down, and they’ve been inseparable ever since. She’s adamant they’re just friends, but I can see the way he looks at her. They might just be friends for now but I don’t foresee it staying that way for long.
I started this summer thinking it would be the summer from hell but it ended up being from somewhere else. It had its ups and downs but I’ll never forget it. I found Flynn and I don’t even know what my life would be like without him. I can’t wait for the next chapter in my life. I wish I could say we all lived happily ever after but I can’t foresee where everyone else will end up. Besides that’s their story to tell. For now, I can say that Flynn and I got ours. Who knew my life could change so much in three short months.
Playlists
Summer from Hell Playlist
“California” by Phantom Planet
“It’s the End of the World As We Know It” by R.E.M.
“Leaving Town” by Dexter Freebish
“Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana
“The Weight of Lies” by The Avett Brothers
“Therapy” by All Time Low
Finding Flynn Page 17