by Sara Orwig
When she stirred in the first pale light as dawn spilled into the room, Cade drew her into his arms to kiss her and she was lost again to lovemaking. She knew it would end, but night had not completely gone and she felt still captured in the magic of their lovemaking.
* * *
It was a sunny morning when she slipped away on her own to shower and dress in jeans and a blue cotton shirt. She braided her hair and by the time she finished Amelia was awake.
They would have the weekend to themselves, just the three of them, and Erin suspected tonight would be a repeat of Friday night which was all right with her. She had given herself over to making love this weekend, even though she knew living with Cade created an emotional risk that would be a real threat to her heart.
She paused in changing Amelia and stood there staring into space as she thought about the past hours in Cade’s arms.
She hoped she wasn’t already falling in love with him. When she was in the house with him, having made love all night, it was difficult to think about hurting or missing him. Right now, she hoped she could walk away in mid-December with her heart intact. One weekend should not be impossible to get over.
Beyond one weekend, it would be a giant risk. She hoped she hadn’t miscalculated and put her heart in jeopardy already. Her response to Cade was different from any other man she had known. That was a warning to take care or she would lose her heart to him and hurt more than she had with the broken engagement.
Amelia stirred, kicking out her feet and calling Erin’s attention. She focused on her little charge.
“Hey, little sweetie,” she said to Amelia who smiled. “Are you ready for a fun day?” She finished changing her diaper and snapped her pajamas. “Let me brush your hair,” she said, working the soft baby brush through her black curls.
“You’re a sweet baby. Are you going to make me love you? Am I going to love you and fall in love with your uncle? I can’t do that, sweetie, so don’t be too adorable. Don’t make me miss you every day after I leave here. I want to be able to tell you and your uncle goodbye and not feel as if my heart is being ripped out and locked away here on this Texas ranch.” Amelia was paying no attention to her, looking instead at her own toes, seemingly mesmerized by them.
“You’ll get a bath after breakfast. In the meantime, let’s go to the kitchen. Okay?”
Amelia babbled in reply. She seemed to be enjoying the morning and happy to listen to Erin talk to her. When she carried Amelia to the kitchen, Cade was cooking and had breakfast almost ready.
He turned to put down a spatula, wash and dry his hands and cross the room to Amelia. “How’s my baby girl?” he asked as she held out her arms and he took her. “Don’t you look pretty this morning? Your nanny has your pretty hair combed and you look adorable.” He put her in her chair, glancing back at Erin. “She doesn’t cry as often since you joined us. Congratulations on that one. I’m glad because when she cries, I panic and wonder what’s disturbing her.”
Erin had to bite back a smile at the thought of Cade getting panicky over Amelia crying. “Cade, babies do cry and the world isn’t coming to an end, and sometimes when they cry it’s just because of nothing more than they’re hungry, wet, tired or teething.”
“Yeah, common sense tells me that, but I can’t bear for her to cry because she can’t tell me why. That’s what’s so scary and—” He stopped, then walked up close to her to look intently at her, as if seeing her for the first time. “She’s not the only one looking pretty this morning. You’re gorgeous, Erin,” he said, trailing his finger along her cheek.
“Thank you.” She ignored the thrill that sent goose bumps down her arms. “Are you going to work today?” she asked.
“I am because we have a tree that fell on a fence and a bridge over a creek to repair. First I’ll feed Amelia and then I’ll help you clean this kitchen. In the meantime, you can eat your breakfast undisturbed.”
“Sure. You’re free to go at any time and I’ll take over Amelia and the kitchen chores.”
He turned to Amelia, so Erin got her breakfast and sat eating it while he talked to Amelia and fed her. Later, he shooed Erin out of the kitchen while he cleaned and she bathed and changed Amelia, playing with her in the sitting room. She was winding up a musical jack-in-the-box for Amelia when she heard Cade’s boots and looked up to see him standing in the doorway. Her pulse jumped and she wanted to walk into his arms.
He had on a jeans jacket and his broad-brimmed black hat was pushed to the back of his head, framing his face. He looked like a handsome, sexy rancher and she hoped he told her goodbye and left because she wouldn’t be able to resist him if he wanted to kiss before he left.
“I’m gone. It’s raining again. I have my phone. If you need anything, Harold is nearby and his number is posted by the phone. Just call and he’ll be here right away.”
“I’ll be fine and so will Amelia. You take care. You’ll be out in the elements.”
“I’ll come home to a hot dinner and a warm house and dare I hope, maybe hugs and kisses. Think about that one today.”
“Cade, we’ve been very careful and I don’t want to get too involved.”
“Let’s rethink that one,” he said in a deeper, quieter voice, shrugging away from the doorjamb and crossing the kitchen to her, making her pulse quicken again. He placed his hands on her shoulders and she couldn’t get her breath. How could he make her melt with a look?
He glanced beyond her at Amelia happily playing with a rag doll. “Stop being afraid of life, Erin,” he murmured. “Let go and live a little so you can get what you want out of life,” he added, and her heart thudded as she looked into his blue eyes.
“Watch out,” she whispered. “I might take your advice.”
“Be good if you did,” he answered, but desire filled his expression and she didn’t think he knew what he replied. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her close and covered her mouth with his.
Her heart slammed against her ribs and the protest she was beginning to think about died instantly. His words echoed in her mind. “Let go and live a little so you can get what you want...”
Closing her eyes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his kiss.
Kissing her hard and passionately, he leaned over her, making her heart pound and her pulse drum in her ears. He released her abruptly and she opened her eyes to find him watching her.
“That’s better, darlin’,” he said and pushed his hat squarely on his head as he turned and left the kitchen. In seconds she heard the back door close, and in a few more minutes his pickup motor started and then faded as he drove away.
Her heart pounded and she tingled all over, wanting to be in his arms, wanting his kisses more than ever, remembering every minute of the night. Were they going to have another long night of lovemaking tonight? Could she resist him? Did she want to resist him? Was he right in telling her to let go and live a little so she could get what she wanted? Maybe she should take his advice.
* * *
Cade left to work on a fence that was down from the storm that swept through the area during the night. The wind had been high and broken tree limbs had fallen on fences. He knew his men were scattered on the ranch, moving cattle to other grazing areas and cutting up limbs, hauling them away to clear the area and repairing the bridge, repairing another string of fences and setting up new posts. Working automatically as he cut limbs and then loaded debris into his truck when necessary, he was lost in thoughts about the night.
Making love to Erin had been the best ever—a shocking and unexpected discovery. Along with the most fantastic sex, however, had come a truckload of guilt.
He had promised Luke to look out for his baby sister and then turned around and seduced her. She was vulnerable, hurting still from losses, and he hadn’t kept his word, something he couldn’t recall ever doing in
his life. He definitely had never done it to Luke. He hadn’t been true to Luke and he hated that part of what he had done.
Taking off his hat, he wiped his brow with his sleeve. “Dammit,” he said quietly. He had always been able to maintain control. What had happened to his self-control?
It had gone flying away the moment he kissed Erin. The one time in his life when self-control was needed badly. He groaned and wanted to gnash his teeth. Erin, of all the women he had known, the little sister of his best friend. He hadn’t paid a lick of attention to her when she was a little kid. How he wished he had continued to see her in the same way now that she was grown.
He thought about kissing her, momentarily losing himself in memories that made him hot and temporarily took away his regrets. He would lose Luke’s friendship if or when Luke discovered what Cade had done, because he’d broken a trust with his lifelong buddy. It wouldn’t matter that the lady was ready and willing, too. It wouldn’t matter one tiny bit. Luke meant what he said and he always stuck by what he said. Cade had solid proof of that in the past. And he couldn’t blame Luke for being angry when he found out.
Cade propped his foot on a thick oak branch that had fallen and thought about Erin. The worst part of all of this wasn’t his guilt or the end of a friendship. What was even worse—he still wanted to go to bed with her. He wanted to make love to her even more than he had last night. The damage was already done to Luke’s friendship, that was over and there was no way he would ever get it back.
Maybe if he and Erin were wildly in love everything would be all right with Luke, but they weren’t in love. Erin was still all bottled up emotionally and he wasn’t a man to fall in love.
She would be gone all too soon in mid-December and once she left, he doubted he would ever see her again.
He hoped with all his heart that Erin had no lasting effects from their lovemaking except good ones. He was certain that during the hours they loved and had been together, she had briefly lost that perpetual hurt that she carried. Time would heal her wounds—at least the broken engagement. Erin was too involved with children and liked them too much to ever completely heal over the loss of her baby. That was in the category of his losing Nate and Lydia. Although he’d had years with Nate, it still was a heartbreaking and permanent loss.
At least he was beginning to catch on how to care for Amelia and eventually, they would start the search for a new nanny.
Again guilt stabbed him. “Sorry, buddy,” he said aloud, thinking about Luke and knowing he had broken a trust. If Erin really hurt over their parting, Luke would be able to guess why.
“Dammit,” Cade said, unable to fully concentrate on something as mundane as clearing the broken tree limbs and stringing more barbed wire, plus driving in some fence posts. He should have kept a few guys to work with him instead of sending them to different places on the ranch, because clearing limbs and driving posts were a lot easier with four hands than with two.
He leaned on a posthole digger and stared into space and saw only Erin’s green eyes, her long hair spilling over her bare shoulders. When they had the evening to themselves later, he wanted her in his arms. Forgetting where he was, Cade thought about her kisses. When he realized he was lost in fantasies about Erin, he turned back to the wire he would string. But in seconds she commandeered his thoughts once again. He shook his head. What kind of spell had she woven with him? When had there been a woman in his life who interfered with what he needed to get done, who captured his thoughts and imagination? Of all the women he had known—the one it shouldn’t be was Erin. He groaned and started digging, throwing himself into the job and working as hard and fast as possible, trying to dig her out of his thoughts as he did the earth. How important was she becoming to him? He dismissed that question as ridiculous. She would soon say goodbye and they wouldn’t see each other again unless Luke fell in love and married and they crossed paths at the wedding. And that was not likely to happen, at least in the foreseeable future, because Luke was in love with his work.
Cade pulled out his phone, made a call and put his phone back into his pocket. Soon a pickup appeared with three cowboys who came to help.
It was twenty minutes of working alongside his hands before he realized he had paused and was lost in thought about Erin. Startled, he returned to digging furiously. Why couldn’t he get her out of his thoughts? A far more persistent question—would she let him make love to her again tonight?
Seven
That night Erin rocked Amelia, finally tucking the sleeping baby into her bed and tiptoeing to her room, closing the door between them because the monitor was on. She turned and faced Cade. He stood in the open door to the hall and she walked into the sitting room to see why. Her heartbeat raced and she wanted to walk into his arms and kiss him.
Cade straightened and approached her. Day by day he was becoming more important, more exciting. When she had to tell him goodbye, she didn’t want to look back with regrets.
“I was afraid you’d stay up here without coming back. Let’s sit and talk,” he said.
Wanting to be with him, she nodded. “Sure,” she said and saw the flare of satisfaction in his blue eyes.
He closed the last bit of space between them. “Before we go back to the sitting room...” He slipped his arm around her waist. “This has been a long day and I feel as if we’ve been apart for a long time,” he said. The moment his arm went around her, her heart thudded.
“Cade,” she whispered before his mouth covered hers. She held him tightly and kissed him passionately while he picked her up.
He carried her to his suite and sat on his sofa, cradling her against his shoulder, holding her tightly with one arm around her while he caressed her.
She moaned with pleasure, running her hands over him and wanting him more than ever, and with a sense of urgency that she could only assume from his touches he also felt. All the longings she had experienced all day poured out and she kissed him hungrily.
Clothes were flung aside and her hands shook in her haste. She wanted him and was ready to make love to him again. He returned her kisses while his hands moved all over her, pausing only to slip on protection. Then he lifted her over him. As he lowered her onto his thick rod and they moved together in a pounding rhythm, she locked her long legs around him. Crying out, she held him tightly while release shook her and he reached a shuddering climax.
Showering kisses on her face and shoulders and throat, he carried her to his bed, yanked back covers and placed her on the bed to stretch beside her and pull her into his embrace.
“I’ve wanted you with all my being,” he whispered, stroking her damp hair away from her forehead. “All day long you’ve been in my thoughts and I couldn’t wait to be alone with you tonight.”
She showered light kisses on his throat and shoulder, stroking him with her long fingers. “Soon I’ll be gone and what we have together will be over as it should be, and as both of us want it to be. You’re not into permanence and I am—it’s that simple.”
“That’s true, but I want you in my bed and in my arms until you go. Will you move in here until you leave?”
She thought about his question. “No. If Luke would learn that I have, you’d lose a friend no matter what I said. No, I won’t move in. I don’t want to leave here with a broken heart, either, and if I’m with you that much, I’ll fall in love and a broken heart is what will happen. I can’t take an affair lightly. You can’t take one seriously.” She framed his face with her hands to look directly into his dark blue eyes.
“Someday you’ll meet someone and fall in love and you’ll want marriage—at least I hope you do for your sake and Amelia’s. When that happens, you’ll be a good husband and a good dad because you’re a good man. From what you’ve told me, you’re not like your father. You’ve told me not to be afraid to live—you shouldn’t, either,” she said and brushed a light kis
s on his cheek.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he said, his voice hoarse as it usually became when he was aroused.
“I’ll stay as long as I agreed, until mid-December, but I want you to hire another nanny soon and let me help her get settled in. I think the transition would be better for Amelia. She has a lot of new people in her life and she’s adjusted well, but hiring a nanny sooner while I’m here will help them get to know each other,” she said.
Cade frowned as she finger-combed his black hair back off his forehead. Her hand trailed down over his muscled shoulder, moving lower across his hard chest. “You think that’s best?”
“I think it’s best for all concerned. I think Amelia will adjust more easily and I think I will be less likely to leave my heart behind when I go. I can start letting the other nanny spend time with Amelia and we’ll have her with us in the evening and that will help also.”
“I don’t see how in sweet hell that will help anything except the new nanny’s income. You don’t want to be here with me? You don’t want to be here in my arms? That isn’t what you’ve indicated in the past hour.”
“I don’t want to go home with another heartache.”
He stared at her, a muscle working in his jaw, and she had no idea what ran through his thoughts. Finally, he nodded. “Very well, I’ll move up hiring a new nanny. But right now, you’re in my arms, in my bed, and I want you. I want you to stay. I want to kiss you all night,” he said, trailing light kisses over her shoulder and scooting down.
Her heart drummed a frantic beat and she knew she couldn’t deny him. She wanted to be with him.
He rolled over, holding his weight so he wasn’t too heavy. She looked into his eyes and tingled. Desire blazed as if they hadn’t just made love.
When his gaze lowered to her mouth, her heart pounded, and when he kissed her she moaned. Don’t fall in love with him. Don’t play with fire. The warnings echoed in her head, but they were too late.