by Sara Orwig
“It’s still winter, Luke. Come back in the spring and it’ll be gorgeous. The bluebonnets will be in bloom and Texas really will be paradise.”
“How was the job with Cade?”
“Great and Amelia is the sweetest little baby you ever saw.”
“Nate was a great guy. He was younger so I didn’t know him like I did Cade. I know little brother Gabe well enough to know he asked you out.”
She smiled again. “Yes, he did and no, I didn’t go out with him, but he was cheerful and friendly and Amelia liked him.”
“Sure. Everyone likes Gabe. He’s always got a grin and he loves the pretty ladies, but I figured you’d brush him off. He isn’t any more serious about women than Cade, though. Their father really messed up those boys.”
“I hope not permanently.”
“I think Blake made peace with the old man. You hear from Cade?”‘
The question was casual, but she knew Luke was paying attention. “No,” was all she said, and she hoped that was all Luke would want to know or say about Cade.
“Enough about the Callahans. Mom and Dad said to give you a hug for them. Everything is about the same at home and it was good to be there and eat Mom’s beef stew again.”
“Don’t even talk about it,” she joked as she touched her belly and rolled her eyes. “I miss it already. But I do have a good restaurant picked out for tonight. You said not to worry about expense.”
“I meant it. I know what it’s like to be in college. Always hungry and always broke.”
She laughed. “I think that fits the male population more than the female.”
They went to an elegant steak house and Luke insisted she order a steak. She couldn’t imagine how she would get through even a quarter of the steak, but it would give her leftovers for a few nights.
As they ate, she listened as he described aspects of his environmental engineering job and a new million-dollar wastewater treatment plant and the success in dealing with gray water. She could tell he loved his work and loved the Antarctic.
“Erin, I wish you could see Antarctica. The ice and snow are beautiful. The air isn’t polluted and you can see tiny details so much farther away than you can here. It’s amazing.”
While he talked about a conference in São Paulo and his traveling to Torres del Paine when he had some time off, Erin tried to be filled with cheer. After all, they were on to safe topics now. Or so she thought, until Luke’s next question.
“Who did you date while you worked for Cade? I know Cade and I know he won’t ever leave things at the status quo. I’m sure he tried to introduce you to someone.”
She swallowed her steak. “Actually, no, he didn’t. Maybe he’s changed. With the responsibility for Amelia, he stuck very close to home.”
“Who’s he dating?”
She shrugged. “He wasn’t. I think he was so worried about Amelia, he gave up other activities. He was scared to pieces to take care of her.”
“That doesn’t sound like the Cade I know except for being scared to pieces over his charge,” Luke remarked drily. “You didn’t go out with anyone and he didn’t go out with anyone?”
“That’s right. Luke, it’s a ranch out in the boonies. We had a baby to take care of, so we concentrated on her. Cade’s grandmother was worn-out and couldn’t cope when I arrived. Then he hired the next nanny earlier than he had planned originally. That was good because it gave her more time while I was there to get used to Amelia and vice versa.”
“Ah, he hired the new nanny early,” he repeated, sounding pleased. Luke talked some more about the station where he was, the storms they’d had, the incredible temperatures and the weather. He looked robust, fit and filled with energy.
“Erin, you’re not eating anything.”
Since he’d brought up Cade and dating, she’d put her fork down. “I had a big lunch today and I’m just not hungry.”
He stared at her. “You look really thin.”
“It’s all the walking I’m doing,” she said, getting worried because her brother knew her well.
“How many miles do you walk a day?”
“Luke, stop quizzing me.”
“Do you have pictures of Amelia?”
“Yes,” she said, relieved to show him the pictures. “I have some here on my phone and I have some more really cute ones on my iPad at home. When we go back, I’ll show them to you.” As she scrolled through the pictures of Amelia smiling into the camera, she felt the familiar pangs in her heart.
“She’s a cute little kid and I can imagine that Cade was worried about taking care of her because he doesn’t know one thing about little kids.”
“She’s really easy to care for,” Erin said, knowing Amelia would be in bed asleep now. What would Cade be doing?
“I’m not sure I did you any favors by recommending you to Cade,” Luke said quietly, and she looked up at him.
“You really love her, don’t you?” he asked.
“Maybe I do, but that’s all right. I can go see her whenever I want to and Maisie can keep me posted about her.”
“Maisie—I hadn’t thought about her. Was she around much?”
“She was there all the time. She would stay on weekends if Cade asked her and she would fill in if needed, although I didn’t go anywhere. Maisie helped constantly.”
“Did Cade take you out?”
She smiled. “No, Cade did not take me out,” she said, thankful again she had turned down his invitation.
“That kind of surprises me.”
“I told you, we were busy with Amelia. You try taking care of a baby and see how much spare time you have. I’m a good nanny.”
“I know that.”
After that, his questions stopped and he signaled the waiter for the check. When he’d paid, he said, “Let’s go back so I can get a good look at your apartment.”
After she’d given him the tour they sat in her small front room and Luke sipped a cold beer while she drank ice water.
“Where are the pictures of Amelia you said you’d show me? I got you into that job and I’d like to know that it worked out well and you were happy.”
“Didn’t I look happy in the pictures that were on my phone?”
“Yes, you looked very happy. Happier than you do now.”
“You’re imagining things,” she said. “Maybe I should quiz you and see if you’re really happy in the frozen south because that sounds miserably cold.”
“It is miserably cold, but I like the work. It’s what I wanted to do and I’m learning a lot, using my education some. I like what I do.”
“Well, good. I’ll get you another beer.”
“I’ll get it,” he said, getting up. “Stay where you are. Want anything?”
“No, thanks. I’m fine.” He left the room and she sipped her water. A few minutes later he returned with pictures in his hands.
“I saw these in the kitchen. You printed them out.”
“Yes. Sit on the sofa and I’ll look at them with you,” she said, wishing she had taken out the one of Cade with her. She guessed Luke would make an issue of it.
She sat close beside him as he looked through them. When he took a draft of his beer she said, “That’s your last beer because you’re driving.”
“Sure, Mom. I’ll drink a big glass of water before I leave. That’ll help.”
“Yes, it will. I’ll go get you one.”
“You stay where you are. I’m not going to drink water with my beer. I’ll get it soon.” He flipped to the next photo. “Ahh, she’s a cute little girl. That wreck of Nate’s really tore Cade up and I can understand. It seemed so senseless and tragic.”
The next picture was the one of her and Cade. She stood beside him and he had his arm around her shoulders, his face clo
se to hers and they were both laughing.
Luke stared at it and then looked at her. She saw the realization and accusation in his eyes before he spoke. “This is why you’re so thin and you look like you’re going to burst into tears.”
“I miss them and I miss Amelia and I’m going to burst into tears if you don’t stop.”
“Dammit. I debated telling him about you and urging him to hire you, but there were so many reasons I thought he’d leave you alone.”
“Will you listen?” she said. “You’re going to upset me and that I don’t need. Cade and I don’t communicate and don’t intend to in the future. I told him and Amelia goodbye. They’re out of my life.”
“Yet you have these pictures you went to the trouble to print. Especially this one.” He held up the photo of her and Cade. “Dammit, I told him all you had gone through.”
“Stop getting angrier at him. He didn’t do anything and we’ve parted forever. I’m in school and I made a lot of money working for him. I loved being a nanny and I loved little Amelia. Now promise me you’ll leave him alone.”
“Hell, no, I’m not leaving him alone.” Luke caught her chin in his hand. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” he said, his blue eyes boring into her. “You are.”
“You’re being a bossy big brother. I’ll get over Cade and you forget this,” she snapped, jerking her chin out of his hand and taking her pictures from him. She crossed the room to sit and glare at him.
“Now, you’re not going to do anything foolish, are you?” she asked.
“No, I’m not. I don’t have time for Cade and I hope you meet some nice guy getting his PhD, date him and marry him.”
She had to laugh. “Stop trying to marry me off. You’ve been in the frozen south too long. You need to get back with your penguins.” Luke grinned and she wondered if he really had lost his anger. “You leave Cade alone. I’m fine and I don’t want him around. Okay?”
“Okay. You know what you want, but if he tries to hire you back or anything else, then he’ll hear from me when I get back in the USA.”
“Luke, promise me you won’t do anything rash. I’m fine. I won’t take his calls because I see no point in it.”
Luke turned his head. “You don’t take his calls?”
“No. Didn’t you just hear what I said? I don’t take Cade’s calls. We’re through. I’m enrolled in school. I’m halfway across Texas from him. He’s out of my life for good. What more could you want? Now if you go punch him, then I’ll have to go see about him. Is that what you want?”
“Hell, no,” he said. “Okay, you made your point and I’ll forget Cade, but he didn’t do what I asked and I’m sorry if I sent you somewhere that caused you more trouble.”
“Forget it. I got the job, got paid way more than it was worth. I did get to take care of little Amelia who is a sweetheart. I miss her, but that’s natural. Cade is out of my life forever,” she said, feeling something squeeze inside. “What more could you want?”
“I guess not anything. That’s good.” Luke stood. “Sis, I better head back. I don’t want the plane to go to Dallas without me.”
“Thanks for coming out to see me. Bossy as you are, I wish you could stay just one night.”
“I’d like to, but I haven’t spent enough time with our folks. I’ll go home and do that and then be on my way back to the Polar Regions.”
She hugged him. “You’re a good brother, Luke.”
“I’m a super brother,” he corrected her and then chuckled, and she punched his upper arm playfully as they walked to the door. He hugged her lightly. “Take care of yourself and stay away from Cade. He won’t ever get serious.”
“I know,” she said, “and I want marriage and a family.”
“That’s because our family is a good one and we all love each other.” He kissed her cheek.
“Be careful, Luke,” she said. She worried about him going back to the Antarctic. They argued, but he was her brother and she loved him and looked up to him and wanted him to be safe.
“I’ll be careful and I’ll be in Texas for a few more days.”
She watched him drive away and then she rushed to phone Cade. She paused with her hand on her phone. “Just call him and tell him about Luke and get off the phone,” she whispered to herself. “Don’t talk to him for an hour,” she added, knowing she would be tempted.
But could she do it? She stood there arguing with herself about calling him. Several times she put down her phone and walked away and then stopped and rethought what she should do. Finally, taking a deep breath, she pressed his number.
The moment she heard his deep voice, tingles raced over her nerves and her pulse beat faster. Silently, she reminded herself to avoid letting him know how much she missed him.
“Cade, this is Erin. Listen to me,” she blurted out. “My brother is home for a week and he flew here to have dinner with me. He’s on his way back home to Downly. I think he’s really angry. Promise me you won’t see him.” She said it all in one breath and then she waited for his answer.
Nine
“Did you hear me?”
“I heard you and I’m not home and I won’t see him,” Cade said, and she let out her breath with relief.
“I’m sorry. He saw some pictures, those selfies you took and he got angry and started quizzing me.”
“I’m far more interested in talking to you than hearing about Luke. I’m glad you called me. I’ve missed you.”
Her heart thudded and she gripped the phone tightly. “I’ve missed you and Amelia so much,” she admitted, tears coming because she just wanted to walk into Cade’s strong arms and kiss him.
“Well, we can remedy some of that real soon.”
She wiped her eyes. “How’s that?” she asked, hoping he couldn’t tell she was crying.
“Open your front door.”
Shocked, she turned to stare at her door. She dropped her phone and ran to the door to open it. Cade stood on her porch and she felt as if she were in a dream. He had his black Stetson squarely on his head. He wore a leather Western jacket and jeans and boots and he looked more wonderful than he ever had before. She flung herself into his arms as he stepped into her house. He kissed her, walking her backward into the apartment and kicking the door closed behind him.
“Why are you here?” she whispered.
“Because I missed you and I love you,” he answered, his blue eyes darker than ever. “And you wouldn’t answer my calls, so I had to come in person.”
“Cade,” she gasped. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Then why in the hell didn’t you take my calls? I’ve called and called,” he said between light kisses.
“Because we don’t have any future together,” she said, tears welling again. He kissed her passionately, and she forgot about the future as she clung to him, kissing him, pouring all her longing into her kiss and pressing tightly against him. Her heart pounded with joy. For right now, he was here in her arms. She would worry about saying goodbye later.
Picking her up, he glanced around. “Bedroom?”
She pulled his head down to kiss him as she pointed over her shoulder. She held him tightly with one arm around his neck while her other hand roamed over him as if to make sure he was really there.
Cade carried her to her bed and set her on her feet while still kissing her. As her hands fluttered over him and she tugged off his shirt, unfastened and opened his belt, he pulled her sweater over her head and unfastened her jeans to push them away. He paused a moment to look at her, framing her face with his warm hands. “I’ve missed you like hell.”
“I’m glad,” she whispered, standing on tiptoe to kiss him. Her hands shook with eagerness and she continued kissing him. She couldn’t believe he was here and she could kiss and hold him.
He picked her up, gazing into her eyes. “I love you, Erin,” he said, and her heart thudded.
“I love you,” she whispered in return, meaning it with all her heart. “More than anyone ever,” she added and then kissed him.
* * *
Over an hour later she lay in Cade’s arms, stroking his back while euphoria enveloped her. She wanted the night to last forever, to stay in his arms, to have his kisses, to be able to hold and love him.
“I love you so much,” she whispered.
He shifted, placing her on the bed and rising up to look down at her. “I love you, Erin. And I mean this with all my heart and all my being—will you marry me?”
Erin’s heart slammed against her ribs and she couldn’t get her breath. Her arms tightened around his neck as she pulled him down to kiss him. Finally, she raised her head to look at him. “I love you, Cade. I love you and I’ll always love you, but you’ve spent your life determined you would never marry. This isn’t like you. Do you know what you’re doing?”
“I’m more certain than I’ve ever been in my life. It was easy to say I didn’t want to marry and never would want to, because I wasn’t in love. Now I’m in love with you and I want to spend my life with you.”
She framed his face with her hands. “I love you. You’re a wonderful daddy for Amelia. You’ll be a wonderful dad for all your children, Cade, but you have to be really sure. You may just want me in your bed and you’re not accustomed to hearing no. Marriage is a giant change in your life.”
He smiled at her and caressed her nape, making her tingle. “I’m really sure. It is a giant change I’m ready to make. Amelia was a revelation in my life—I can be a dad to her. That was a miracle to me. You’ve helped me see that I’m a good dad to her. You’re right, Erin. I’m not like my father. I don’t have to avoid marriage if I really love someone and now I do. I love you with all my heart.”
Her heart pounded as she gazed at him and he looked at her, waiting without talking. “You mean that, don’t you?” she asked. “And you’re not scared I might not be able to have your biological children? We might have to adopt.”
“Erin, I’m adopting Amelia. Why would I object to adopting another child?”