by Tijan
“Yeah,” he clipped out. “How drunk is she?” He jerked his gaze to Nettie, half scowling. “How drunk are you? Was it consensual with that guy?”
It hit me like a lightning strike.
Consensual. He was worried. Girl Sexually Assaulted at Mason Kade’s Party would be the headline, and soon people would think he’d sexually assaulted the girl.
Fuck.
I felt slapped in the face.
“What?” Nettie shivered in Court’s arms. They switched positions so it was Court’s back toward Mason now. I watched as Court closed her eyes and drew in a breath. She needed a moment. I could relate.
Mason was intense, especially when he was pissed. And he was livid right now.
He cast me a look, asking for help. I stepped forward just as Taylor came outside, but I motioned for her to head back in.
“Why don’t we all go inside? We can talk in private.”
Court and Nettie nodded, looking relieved. They started for the patio doors where Taylor waited.
I followed and turned around to see Mason coming behind me. I placed a hand on his chest. “Maybe you should stay?”
“Grace!” Court yelled. “Come on.”
The third friend slid off her stool, a contented, serene look still on her face, now topped with a goofy grin. As she walked past, I saw how glazed over her eyes were. I wondered if she’d even remember this the next day. Of the three, Court was the most sober, with drenched, shivering Nettie a close second now.
They headed inside, and I looked back up at Mason. He hadn’t moved.
“Do you know the attention that could put on me?” he asked.
I did. I was cringing that I hadn’t considered it sooner. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Okay? You guys protected her. That should count for something.” I started to leave, but he caught my arm.
“Sam.” I looked back up at him. “Thanks for taking care of this.”
I hadn’t done anything yet. “Thank me later in bed.”
He relaxed, the lines around his mouth softening. He bent down for a kiss and murmured, “Trust me, I’ll be thanking you for the rest of our lives.”
A tingle shot through me.
I pressed my lips against his before heading inside. He’d watch the bar. I didn’t need to worry about that, and I felt a smile tug at my lips. A little extra sensation warmed me.
I forgot our current trouble for the moment.
I was going to be his wife. I rubbed at my bare finger. Mason had been reaching into his pocket when he first started to propose, but then his phone rang, and the whole football and fight video thing took over. He’d gotten back around to asking me after that, but then my hesitancy had put another damper on things.
Since then, I’d been waiting for him to give me the ring, but he hadn’t, and I would respect his wishes. Mason would give it to me when he decided it was time. I pushed my insecurities aside and let myself feel a little thrill at the secret we had.
No one knew. Not even Logan.
I couldn’t wait until we told, but as I stepped inside and went to Logan’s bedroom, I paused. I could hear the girls’ voices, and I took a deep breath.
I had something else to deal with first.
“What were you thinking, Nettie?” Court demanded, standing over her friend.
Nettie sat on the edge of Logan’s bed with her elbows resting on her knees and her head pressed into her hands. Her black hair was matted and still drying, but she wore one of Logan’s sweatshirts now. It hung on her, giving her a drowned-kitten look. She lifted her head and used the end of the sleeve to wipe her face.
She sniffled. “Court, don’t rail on me. Okay? I’m pissed enough.”
Grace was perched on Logan’s couch at the opposite end of the room. She sat sideways, with one foot on the floor and the other pulled up next to her. Still looking glazed, she blinked over and over again.
“Come on, Courtney,” she said, yawning. “Net met a boy.” A dreamy look settled over her, and Nettie laughed a little. Grace winked at her. “She felt those special tingles only tequila gives us, and the two fell in love . . . with exhibitionism.”
Nettie barked out a louder laugh.
Courtney folded her arms over her chest, frowning. “This isn’t funny.”
Grace rose from the couch. She gestured to Nettie with a wave. “Seriously, Courtney. Logan Freaking Kade—” She turned to Taylor, who stood just inside the door, next to me. “—Who it just clicked is probably your boyfriend. You’re Taylor Bruce?”
Taylor nodded. “Yeah.” Her hand rose in an awkward wave. “Hi.”
Grace returned the nod before continuing. “I mean, seriously, Nettie, you’re wearing Logan Kade’s sweatshirt. You’re in his bedroom. Your partner in public love got booted from the party.”
I cleared my throat. This was my opening. “About that guy . . .” I paused. They all looked at me. “Who was he?”
Nettie grimaced before plopping her head back in her hands. “Just my biggest embarrassment. Ever,” she groaned.
“He’s a guy she’s liked in our poly sci class. They hooked up at another party, and it continued here. I hope you get a bonus for helping us.”
I paused. Blinked. Then it clicked. She still thought I was the help.
Taylor frowned at me.
I shook my head. I was enjoying this anonymity.
Stepping toward them, I crossed my arms over my chest. “But that was consensual, right?”
Nettie stared at me, a blank expression on her face. Then understanding dawned. Her eyes widened. “Oh, of course! I was just being stupid.” She gave me a more pointed look. “Courtney said two guys were filming us? Is that true?”
Taylor spoke before I could. “Yeah, but Mason took care of it. I’m pretty sure I saw him deleting something on their phones.”
Nettie’s eyes widened even more, and a look of astonishment took over. “Mason Kade?”
“I told you. He was at the bar just now.” Courtney’s arms dropped. Her hands went into her pockets.
Grace sighed dreamily. “Now he’s someone I’d let myself be filmed with. Good Lord, the guy is from another planet.”
I fought against smiling.
Taylor bit her lip, her eyes twinkling. “Uh, so yeah. He got the videos, and all of the guys were booted from the party.” She looked over the three friends. “Do you guys need a ride somewhere?”
Grace and Nettie both gestured to Courtney with haphazard waves. Courtney ran a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I drove. I’m the sober cab tonight.”
“How’d Jonathan get home?”
I looked over at Nettie. She’d asked Taylor, but Taylor looked at me.
“That’s the guy you were making out with?” I asked.
She nodded. “He came with us. I don’t think he knew anyone here.”
This girl was concerned about the guy who’d almost put her in a bad porno? For real? I shrugged. “I don’t know how he got home, but I know he was kicked out.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders fell. “Okay.”
She was pissed about that? I didn’t know if she was being stupid or ungrateful, but she could fuck things up royally for Mason. My mouth remained shut.
“Thank you.” She looked around the room. “I mean it. I know this was a hassle.” She sounded sincere as she looked at Taylor. “You think I could thank your boyfriend and Mason?”
“Uh.” Taylor’s eyes darted to mine. I shook my head, the slightest of movement, and she looked back to Nettie. “I’ll be honest, Logan probably won’t know who you are, and Mason . . . I guarantee he’ll be surrounded by all his teammates.”
“Yeah.” Nettie’s head bobbed up and down. “You’re right. Maybe later? I can say something if I see them on campus.”
“Yeah.” Taylor’s smile relaxed at the corners. “It might just be best if you take it easy now. Go home, you know?”
Nettie stood, looking at her friends. Similar to the way Taylor and I were with Mason and Logan, the th
ree of them moved as a unit. Grace led the way this time, and she and Court cast concerned looks at Nettie, who looked at the floor as they left the room and continued out of the house.
They all looked back at us from the sidewalk and offered a short wave before moving on to where they had parked.
Taylor stood next to me in the doorway, and as soon as they were out of eyesight, she punched me in the arm. It was a soft one, no heat to it, but she cursed. “Fuck you, Sam. They thought you were hired help. You left me to be the official Kade spokesperson.”
I laughed. “It was kinda awesome. I won’t lie.”
She groaned, and I followed her back outside to the bar.
Mason and Logan were behind it, with Nate and Matteo on the bar stools. A couple other guys were standing nearby, and everyone looked over as we approached.
“Everything okay?” Mason asked.
I nodded, slipping behind the bar and against his side. His hand came to rest on my hip, anchoring me there. “All good,” I added. “She was embarrassed, but it was consensual. They first hooked up at a different party, and he rode with them here.”
“You serious?” Logan leaned back, his hands on Taylor’s hips as she stood in front of him. “They brought that fucker here?”
“Yeah. The girl asked us how he got a ride home.”
“Wait.” Logan stood straighter, moving Taylor to the side. “You mean he didn’t have a ride?”
“According to the girl he was mauling ten feet from here, no.”
Logan looked at the two guys standing behind Nate and Matteo. “Did anyone pick him up or give him a ride somewhere?”
One shook his head. “We pointed down the street and told him to start walking.” He shrugged. “He did.”
Mason frowned at Logan. “What are you thinking?”
“She might not say anything, but he might. If he’s pissed enough, he could really say something. And we live six miles out of town. You do the math.”
I felt Mason’s hand tighten, just a little bit. His jaw clenched. “That’s a long walk to fume.”
“Exactly.” Logan looked at the guys. “We should go find him, give him a ride to his place. Then we’d know where he lives too.”
Everyone looked at Mason.
He nodded, a short clip of the head. “Do it, but don’t say anything.” He turned to Logan. “You go with them.”
Logan, the two guys, and Matteo all left.
Nate remained behind. “This can’t fall back on you,” he assured Mason. “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it.”
Mason nodded, but his hand still gripped my hip.
I lifted my hand to touch the side of his face. “It’ll be fine.”
He didn’t reply. He just rested his forehead against mine.
I wanted to run.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I was ready to go. I skipped yesterday. We spent all day Saturday cleaning up after the party, and then we spent the evening cuddling. Chef Logan had declared Saturday night to be Meat Rushmore, and he’d put together a whole display of grilled goodies—not just meat, but he made sure to point out the meat every chance he could . . . until Taylor got tired of it.
We hadn’t gone to bed too late, but it was four in the morning now. I sat up, not hearing Mason’s steady, deep breaths. He wasn’t here. His side of the bed was empty.
I stood, went to the bathroom, and got dressed as quickly as possible. I’d laced my shoes and was uncoiling my earbuds’ cord when I walked past the living room. I braked.
Mason wasn’t there either, but I saw him through the front window. He was stretching outside on the front porch.
“You okay?” I asked as I stepped out to join him.
He pulled his foot up behind him, stretching the front of his quad. “I’m going with you.”
It wasn’t that we never ran together. It was just not usually at four in the morning.
“What?”
He laughed, letting his leg back down. “I have training tomorrow. Figured I should run with you this morning.”
Uh . . .
His eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
I scratched behind my ear.
He grinned, his eyes amused. “You don’t want me to run with you? Or to run in general?”
It wasn’t that, but I lifted my shoulder, starting to walk down the driveway toward the road. Mason fell in step beside me, pulling his arm across his chest to stretch.
“I’m just— It’s just—” God. What was my problem?
“Sam.” He touched my elbow, stopping me. “What’s going on?”
I shook my head, resting a hand against his chest because I wanted to touch him. I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s going on with me. A few months ago, I would’ve been exhilarated that you wanted to run with me in the morning. But this summer . . .”
Things had started to change this summer. I’d started to change.
“What?” he asked.
I bit my lip. I didn’t want him to run with me. It punched me hard in the chest. Even I wasn’t ready for that one, but as soon as I realized it, I knew it wasn’t the real issue here. I wanted space, that was the issue, but it wasn’t. It was all confusing in my head. I didn’t want to say what the real issue was, but I had to. Mason deserved the truth. He deserved that respect.
“Things changed when everyone started getting married.”
His eyebrows lifted, but he didn’t say anything.
I started to walk again. Mason stayed right next to me. I held my phone and earbuds in one hand, while the other clenched and unclenched. I didn’t know what to do with it as I spoke.
“It didn’t bother me when David and Malinda got married,” I told him. “That wasn’t in the cards for us—not yet anyway—but then I started thinking about Analise and James getting married. I had begun stressing when we went home for the summer, and I thought it was just because of my mom being there. But then one night I made a joke to Heather about her and Channing getting married, and she said Channing wanted to. That shocked me.” I stopped walking.
Mason was still right with me. He was listening.
“It threw me because then I realized that could be you and me. I think it’s early, but I know a lot of people get engaged their last year of college or right after. And that’s where you are, so when I started thinking about that, all this shit came up inside of me. It was all about Analise, about how she and David were, about the stories you’ve told me about your dad.”
My eyes found his. “And some of it’s about hearing how angry you were at your dad,” I said softly. “You still are angry. I know it’s not as much, but it’s there. He’ll never be a normal dad to you. That relationship will never happen, and the same for Analise and me. She let me go, for real, and I like it. There’s no weight or pressure from her anymore, but I’m sad too. I have a choice now, and I have to say goodbye to the kind of relationship I should’ve had with my mother. Does that make sense?”
He nodded. “And all that’s connected to us getting married?”
“Because it’s what I know. It’s what I grew up in.”
He touched my arm and rubbed back and forth with his thumb, soothing me. “You know Malinda and David. They’re a good example of what we didn’t know.”
“I know.” I’d tried telling myself that. Malinda and David were good. Analise and James were not. “Our parents might beat the odds and make something good with each other, but I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. The jaded part of me knows Analise is going to start cheating in two years. And David and Malinda . . .” I pressed a hand to my forehead. The pressure was mounting there too. “Who knows? They’re still early, but I hope they remain good.”
“Sam.” Mason’s hand slid down my arm to catch my hand. “Do you want me to take it back? Do you want me to wait a couple years? Because I can do that.”
Did I? I wasn’t caught off-guard here, but I took a moment to really ask myself that question.
I liked being
engaged.
But I was scared too.
I shook my head, squeezing his hand. “I’m not asking you to take it back. I’m asking you to be patient with me. I’m afraid of marriage, and I don’t want to ever feel like that about anything that’s connected to you.”
He stepped closer, his forehead resting on mine. “You sure?” He grazed my bare finger, where the ring should’ve been. “I have something to put on here, you know.” The corner of his mouth lifted. “I was waiting to surprise you at a better time. But I can wait and ask you all over again later. I have no problem waiting.”
Warmth flooded me.
I felt myself grinning back at him, matching his smile. Some of the pressure lessened.
“I don’t want you to take back the question, but maybe you could still ask again when you give me the ring?”
He was trying to read me, watching intently. “You’re sure?”
I didn’t have a clear-cut answer. But I liked knowing we were engaged, and I liked knowing that others didn’t know. I also liked knowing he was going to be patient with me, and that he was going to ask again at some point. He wasn’t taking it back. It was more a “making sure” sort of thing. That was all.
I shook my head, rolling my eyes. “I’m messed up.”
“No. Your mother is messed up. You just got affected by some of it. It makes sense.”
“You’re not mad?”
He shook his head. “Never.”
I expelled a deep breath, feeling tears behind my eyes. “Thank you, Mason.”
His lips rested over mine, so softly, so tenderly, and he whispered right before he sealed our mouths together. “You never have to thank me. That’s part of loving someone.”
I kissed him, standing on my tiptoes. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me as the kiss deepened.
Mason had proposed, and I didn’t want to hurt him, but I wasn’t being honest with myself either. Being nervous about marriage wasn’t going to go away. I couldn’t force it away. It was a part of me. I learned the bad shit as a child, and I couldn’t mess up a life with the man I loved. I loved him more than myself. He was better than both our parents put together, and what we had was the best thing I would ever be a part of.