by Judi Lind
“Did you find what you were looking for?”
Gil unconsciously rubbed the raw abrasion on his temple. How many days, weeks, had he lain in a hospital bed with a constant headache? The physical pain had been bad enough, but the mental emptiness, the confusion and sense of impending peril had nearly pushed him over the brink. Even now, recalling the accident and the agonizing weeks that followed, caused his head to throb.
“No,” he said finally. “I didn’t find anything. Someone ran my car off Topanga Canyon before I had the chance to talk with the Special Agent in Charge there.”
Holding his breath at the overwhelming memory of a broken windshield, his mangled shoulder, crushed ribs, flashing lights, screaming sirens and being raced to the operating room, Gil finally looked up. Valerie was staring at him, her eyes wide and gentle. She tossed the towel aside and crossed the few feet that separated them.
She placed her hand on his shoulder in a calming gesture. “And that’s when you contracted traumatic amnesia?”
He rubbed his temple, where the dark hair had grown back in a silvery color. “Yeah. I had something called an intracranial hematoma. They said I had brain surgery a few days after the accident. I don’t remember much after my car went off the cliff. It’s like that single memory—the truck hitting my fender—is all I clearly know. Almost my entire life before, and the first days after, the accident are gone. Only a few fragments of memory are left to drive me crazy.”
“I...I was very worried. I didn’t know where to look. I called dozens of hotels and every hospital.”
Valerie Murphy was a strong but proud woman, he sensed. It must have cost her a lot to admit the extent of her search for him. “They cut some of my clothes off at the scene of the accident. I guess my wallet wasn’t recovered until someone from the towing company found it several days later. I was John Doe for a while.”
“That’s becoming a habit. You’re listed as John Doe at Parker Memorial, as well.”
“Thanks to you, Doc.”
She laughed. The first real laugh he’d seen since his return. “I just didn’t want to admit that I knew you. You were pretty disreputable-looking when they brought you in.”
He grinned in appreciation of her small joke. “You can’t look like a GQ cover model when you’ve been rumbling with drunken bikers.”
She sobered. “It’s a wonder you didn’t die. That beating you took so soon after a serious head injury could easily have been fatal. It certainly accounts for why your amnesia isn’t receding more quickly.”
“It accounts for this miserable headache, too. You have any aspirin?”
She nodded and moved to a cupboard on one side of the sink. A few seconds later she handed him a glass of water and two tablets. “Here, this should help.”
“Thanks.” He swallowed the pills. “Listen, Doc, would it be pushing your hospitality too much to ask for the use of your bed for a couple hours? Just for a nap,” he amended quickly at her quirked eyebrow.
She drew in a deep breath and held it for several seconds before slowly releasing it. “I guess not. But there’s one thing I still don’t understand.”
“Only one? Hell, I’ve got an entire lifetime that I either don’t remember or can’t make sense of.”
“That’s what I mean. If your amnesia is almost total, why do you know so much about the adoption ring and the trip to Los Angeles?”
“I don’t really remember those events as much as having reconstructed them. Apparently I’m a note-taking, report-filing, rigidly structured kind of guy. Once they found my ID and discovered I’m a federal agent, we started rebuilding my past. I’d filed computerized reports of my findings in Washington and had tons of case notes on a laptop computer that survived the crash.”
He polished off the dregs of the now-cold coffee and carried his mug to the sink. “I don’t have any real memory of why I went to Los Angeles, only what I’ve pieced together. I don’t know who knew I was there and ran my car off the road. But the evidence eventually confirmed my partial recollection that my little rental had been ‘nudged’ several times by a dark-green Ford pickup. One of those big jobs.”
“And that’s everything? You’ve left nothing out?”
Valerie’s actions during the past thirty hours had just about convinced him of her innocence. Just about. But years of law enforcement had taught him to play his cards close to his chest. There was no real reason to confide that one of those infants had been delivered by her colleague, Dr. Sidney Weingold.
The other three had been delivered by Valerie herself.
He feigned a yawn and discovered that the night’s activities had finally caught up with him. He was exhausted. “Can we wrap up the twenty-questions session for now? I’m whipped.”
She snatched up his water glass and slammed it on the counter near the sink. “Heaven forbid I should inconvenience you with my silly questions, Agent Branton. By all means, let’s make your comfort our number-one priority!”
With a final scorching glare, she stormed out of the kitchen.
Valerie Murphy’s hot button rode very close to the surface, he reflected. Every time he was on the brink of accepting her innocence, some tiny comment set off a spark of anger. If she had no connection to this adoption scam and wasn’t reacting to fear of exposure, why the barely controlled hostility?
Trailing her down the hall, Gil vowed to get some much-needed sleep, then find another safe house. If Valerie was involved in the kidnapping ring, he wasn’t safe in her home. At least not for long. Even if she was just a good Samaritan, she could be endangered purely by her association with him.
Either way, his best chance of keeping them both alive was for him to get as far away as possible from the lovely Dr. Murphy.
Chapter Seven
Valerie stood over the bed watching him sleep.
When he’d been talking earlier in the kitchen, she’d found herself almost believing him. His explanation had been very convincing. Now that she was free from the allure of his smooth voice and beguiling eyes, doubt assailed her.
Once before she’d believed him. She’d been a fool then and she’d be a bigger fool now to fall for the wild tales of a man who admittedly made his living through deceit.
A stolen-baby ring in Phoenix? Unbelievable.
As head of obstetrics at one of the city’s major hospitals, surely she would have been informed. Security precautions would have been tightened; patients would have been warned. If someone at Parker Memorial was a suspect or if the hospital was in any way implicated, the administrators would have been notified.
And Martin Abel would have been all over her like grease on a deep-fried chimichanga.
Besides, if Gil’s story was true, why hadn’t he confided in her? Granted, their intimate relationship had been of short duration, but it had been special. He’d said he loved her. So how could he have kept such potentially devastating information from her?
She looked down at his face, once so loved, now so distrusted. For a man who professed such concern for the well-being of those missing infants, he’d dumped her with the responsibility of their own unborn child.
Valerie sighed. That was unfair and she knew it. Gil didn’t know about her pregnancy.
He hadn’t stuck around long enough for her to tell him.
Out of habit—not concern, she assured herself—she tugged the sheet up over his bare shoulder. Her fingertip skimmed the hawk’s-head tattoo. She’d once likened him to the raptor etched into his skin: proud, valiant and fiercely independent. Was he also a sly predator like the red-tailed hawks that flew over the desert landscape, seeking out and destroying unwary victims who had the misfortune to cross his path?
What would his reaction be if she told him about the child? Would he bolt and run again? Or would he grudgingly allow the responsibility of parenthood to clip his wings?
Could she bear either response?
She sighed and slipped out of the cool bedroom.
ALONE ON VALERlE’S k
ing-size bed, Gil tossed and turned. His “nap” had extended to several hours, and the sun was already sinking in a brilliant display of purple and fuchsia when he opened his eyes and stared out the deep-set narrow window.
The window faced west and although the air conditioner whirred incessantly, the room felt warm. Close. Lately he was hot all the time. As if all the unresolved questions whirling through his mind were funneled into energy that kept his body superheated.
Despite his rest, Gil was still on edge, tired. Those elusive memories that perforated his sleep and pummeled him with their intensity made him feel like a punch-drunk fighter boxing shadows in the dark.
All the unanswered questions. Poking, probing, prodding and persistent questions. Why had he gone to Los Angeles? Had he found something in the hospital files he’d been looking through? Something, perhaps, that incriminated Valerie?
After his release from the hospital, Gil had returned to Phoenix in an effort to retrace his steps. But due to his lengthy unexplained absence, the hospital had terminated his staff privileges, depriving him of access to those all-important records.
He could have gone to Martin Abel and revealed his true identity and mission, he supposed. But Abel was a political animal, clawing his way through the administrative ranks, and Gil couldn’t be certain of the man’s loyalty. If exposing Gil’s cover would gain him brownie points, Abel wouldn’t hesitate.
So Gil had contrived an altercation in a bar, knowing that severe bruises and contusions could gain him entrée into the hospital. His opponents, however, had been far more diligent in their punishment than he’d counted on. He’d landed in intensive care, instead of a cushy bed on the general ward.
Even that feeble plan had backfired when he and Valerie were forced to flee Parker Memorial. His investigation was well and truly stalled.
Unless...unless he could talk Valerie into helping him.
He sat up as an idea took hold.
True, earlier he’d made a mental vow to clear out as soon as he’d rested. But she had access to the hospital computer, including dial-in privileges. With her help, he could hack into medical records and maybe find some common denominator, something that would point him in the right direction.
It was his only chance. The only chance those heartbroken parents had of ever seeing their children again.
He rolled out of bed and headed for the small en suite bathroom. Splashing cold water on his face, he slicked back his unruly hair with his fingers and thought about the best approach to take with Val.
How could he convince her that an illegal tap into hospital records was justified? Appeal to her sense of justice? Or her concern for her patients? Another choice would be to exploit her soft spot for babies.
Shame shuddered through him as he realized he was once again prepared to use her for his own purposes. Without concern for the consequences she might suffer.
But those children had to be found. And those heartless criminals had to be stopped. No matter the cost to Valerie’s feelings and career. Or to his own integrity.
Filled with determination and a sense of hope that had eluded him for weeks, Gil was grinning when he sauntered into the kitchen. One look at Valerie’s pain-racked face stopped him in his tracks.
“What’s wrong? Has something happened?”
She shifted on her chair, avoiding his eyes. “I guess you could say that.”
Gil sank into the opposite chair and studied her face. So lovely yet so thin, with hollows and shadows that bespoke a woman who was suffering. “What’s wrong?” he asked gently, reaching for her hand.
She snatched her hand back like she’d been stung by a deadly scorpion. Lifting her chin, she pinned him with the cold almost hate-filled gaze he’d come to expect. “This kidnapping ring. Is that why you slept with me? To get information?”
Gil was stunned speechless. He and Valerie? Intimate? While she was a suspect? No, he couldn’t have been so stupid. So unprofessional. But even as he denied the accusation, he knew it to be true.
Although his memory was still fuzzy, ephemeral at best, he could vividly recall the sweet scent of her golden hair against his face. The luxurious texture of her skin beneath his hands. The taste of her flesh on his tongue.
No wonder she hated him.
At this moment he hated himself.
Was this what the job had done to him? Allowed his single-minded quest for truth to turn him into a cold calculating bastard who’d use anyone to achieve his goal? Had his arrest record become more important than his integrity?
He hated to believe it of himself, but the stark bitterness of Valerie’s words was proof enough.
“I...I didn’t know we’d been together,” he said. “If I hurt you, I’m truly sorry.”
“Hurt me?” She laughed, dry and mirthlessly. “A person can survive hurt, Gil. It’s even reputedly good for character growth. But you used me, left me with...” She hesitated.
“With what?” he asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.
“With everyone at the hospital asking questions, expecting me to have the answers. Everyone knew about us.”
She didn’t verbalize the mortification she must have felt when her colleagues wondered why the auditor she had been dating suddenly disappeared. But he could feel her shame, her bruised pride, radiating from every pore.
But it wasn’t all his fault. Surely she could see that. “I explained what happened,” he said. “You can’t hold me responsible for an attempt on my life that left me in the hospital for weeks. That’s not fair.”
She leaned forward, eyes glittering with rage. “What wasn’t fair was your lying to me. You became involved with me under false pretenses. If I’d known the truth, Gil, I would have had some place to look when you disappeared. I could have called the FBI, and maybe you wouldn’t have lain as a John Doe patient without any friends or family around for weeks. I would have known!”
“Val, I can’t say a thing to justify my actions, because I just don’t remember.” Actually it was pretty clear that he hadn’t taken her into his confidence because she was still under suspicion. But to tell her that now would only make matters worse.
She leaped to her feet and shoved the chair under the table. Hands clenched tightly over the wooden chair back, she spoke softly, “That’s because there is no justification for your actions. You used me.”
There it was, the bald unadorned truth.
“Val, sit down. Please. Let me explain.”
“I don’t want more lies. I want you to leave. And stay out of my life.”
He rose and rounded the table to stand in front of her. He wanted badly to take her in his arms, to kiss away all the suffering he’d caused. Yet instinct warned him to keep his distance, to appeal to her logic and give her emotions time to heal. “Please,” he whispered, “I need your help.”
“No. Use someone else. I’m finished.”
“There is no one else, Val. These monsters have to be stopped and I can’t do it alone.”
“It’s not my problem. Find someone else.”
Gil shook his head. How could he convince her? He couldn’t blame her for her flat refusal, but he desperately needed her help. Suddenly he knew the key. He had to take her completely into his confidence, tell her everything. For a woman with her principles, only the truth would do. “It is your problem too, Val.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “How do you figure that?”
“There’s more that I haven’t told you.”
“Imagine that.” Sarcasm flowed hot and thick over her soft voice.
“Look, why don’t you go lie down and get some sleep?” he said. “We’ll talk later.”
“No, let’s get it over with. Besides,” she said, her voice softening, “I slept on the sofa. I’m fine.”
“Okay.” He motioned to the table. “Then, sit back down. Please. I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”
She held up a hand as if to stop the flow of his words. “I’ll listen, Gil. Bu
t do me a favor? Don’t make any more promises. They aren’t worth the breath it takes you to make them.”
Abruptly turning her back, she pulled out her chair. Sitting with her arms still folded in a protective manner, she waited for him to take his place across from her. “Okay, Gil, I’m listening. What new fairy tale do you have for me now?”
Ignoring her scorn, he plunged ahead. “Everything I told you about the stolen-baby ring is the truth. There are just a few...details I’ve left out.”
“For instance?”
“Most of the missing babies were born to young single mothers or disadvantaged women with several offspring already at home. Women who wouldn’t necessarily be believed when they reported their babies were kidnapped.”
“You already told me that.”
“Yeah, but what I didn’t tell you is that every one of those mothers is fair-skinned, with light hair and blue eyes. Apparently the kidnappers are only interested in specific physical traits.”
He glanced up as Valerie gasped sharply. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing. Only...that seems so cold-blooded. So heartless.”
Gil was a bit taken aback by her words. Was she implying that the abduction of fair-skinned babies was somehow worse than it would have been had the babies been Hispanic or black? “Stealing any newborn seems pretty merciless to me.”
“That’s not what I meant. It only made those missing infants seem...more real somehow. To hear them described so precisely, I mean.”
He nodded. The whole unsavory mess had abruptly become real to Valerie. Gone beyond abstract numbers to real humans with real heartaches. Her sudden pallor was simple revulsion against the inhumane criminals who stole helpless babies from their cribs.
“Yeah, our perp is not only selective,” he said, “but must have a chunk of ice where his heart should be.”
She tilted her head, her expression more quizzical now than hostile. “You said earlier that this was my problem. What did you mean?”