Devil's Cocktail (Wallace of the Secret Service Series)

by Alexander Wilson

  Hugh appeared more astonished than ever.

  ‘Cousins my valet!’ he exclaimed, and then grinned. ‘By Jove!’ he said. ‘I am dense. But though I shall like having him with me, surely the fact of a professor with an English valet will cause comment. Five hundred rupees a month won’t keep my sister and myself, let alone an English servant.’

  ‘Oh, that’s all right,’ said Major Brien. ‘You let Abdullah know that you have private means, didn’t you?’

  Hugh nodded.

  ‘Very well then, that is explained. Of course you did not want to take Cousins with you, but the devoted fellow pleaded so hard that you couldn’t very well refuse him. Later on you’ll grumble a bit before people out there at the extra expense, and Cousins will be accepted as a matter of course. Naturally there will be people who will scoff at your soft-heartedness and call you a young fool, but que voulez-vous!’

  He shrugged his shoulders, and Hugh laughed.

  ‘The whole thing sounds rather like a joke,’ said the latter.

  ‘There’s no joke about it,’ said Major Brien. ‘You will have two duties to perform – one to your college, and one to us, and neither must be neglected. You must not in any way let your professorial work slide because we have taken advantage of a rather unique opportunity to send you out. Yours is going to be a difficult task, I’m afraid. Be careful not to fall between the two stools.’

  ‘Shall I have to stay out for the three years mentioned in that advertisement, sir?’

  ‘Your work might keep you all that time. If we want you back, no doubt we shall be able to arrange for your release. Now about Kamper. Are you quite sure that you saw him the other day?’

  ‘Positive, sir! If I had been quicker I would have caught him.’

  ‘It’s a pity you didn’t. There must be some further activity pending, since he has returned. If you were not going abroad I would put you on to it; as it is, Maddison is already engaged with Spencer in searching for him. He knows you, of course?’

  ‘Very well, sir!’

  ‘Well, let us hope that he won’t discover that you are off to India. If he does, your job will be rendered a hundred times more difficult.’

  ‘How can he find out?’

  ‘How do these Russian spies find out anything?’ said Major Brien bitterly. ‘Their system is so well organised that, in spite of all our efforts, they are almost as active as ever. Well, I won’t detain you any longer. No doubt you will be fully engaged preparing for your journey for the next few days. Don’t come near these offices any more! The Chief himself will see you at his house, and give you his final instructions before you sail.’

  ‘When am I to call there, sir?’ asked Hugh, rising from his chair.

  ‘He’ll ring you up, and let you know. I don’t suppose I shall see you again myself, so I wish you goodbye, and the best of luck.’

  He held out his hand, and Hugh grasped it firmly, as he thanked him for his wishes.

  ‘Remember!’ said the Deputy Chief. ‘We rely upon you!’

  Hugh was driven rapidly homeward, and burst in upon his sister, as she was directing the removal of trunks, boxes and suitcases from the box room to the garden, where they were to be aired. He put his arm in hers, and took her along to his own particular den. Placing an armchair for her, he put her into it, and then started to fill his pipe.

  ‘Why this?’ she asked.

  ‘I want to tell you something,’ he replied.

  ‘Be quick about it then, for I am terribly busy, and I warn you that you will only get monosyllables out of me for the next week. Have you booked the berths?’

  ‘Not yet!’

  ‘If you don’t hurry you won’t get any. This is the rush season, isn’t it?’

  ‘An hour or so won’t make any difference. Listen, Joan! I have been talking to Major Brien for the last hour.’

  ‘Do you mean that awfully nice man, who is so famous in the Intelligence Department?’

  He nodded.

  ‘Yes! You’ve met him once or twice, haven’t you?’

  ‘You know I have at the Foreign Office “at ‘home’s” and parties. I adore Mrs Brien – But what have you been talking to him about. Surely you haven’t been trying to get into the Secret Service now, have you?’

  He grinned.

  ‘I have an awful confession to make, old girl,’ he said.

  ‘Then you have?’

  ‘I have been in the Secret Service for quite a long time—’

  She looked at him in astonishment.

  ‘Is that true, Hugh?’

  ‘Absolutely! Now you know why I have been rather secretive on occasions.’

  There was a pause for a full minute before she spoke, then:

  ‘But how perfectly amazing!’ she said. ‘My Hugh a Secret Service man. And are you actually working under that wonderful Sir Leonard Wallace?’

  ‘I am!’

  ‘Oh, Hugh! Why didn’t you tell me before?’

  ‘Well, you see dear, I thought it wiser to keep quiet about it. This morning Major Brien rather made me see that I ought to tell you, in case misunderstandings ever arose between us.’

  She caught hold of his arm, and pressed it.

  ‘Misunderstandings could never arise between us, dear old boy,’ she said. ‘I have suspected something for a long time, but couldn’t exactly place my suspicions. I am glad Major Brien made you tell me. Would you never have told me if he hadn’t suggested it?’

  ‘I don’t think so!’

  ‘Didn’t you trust me then?’

  ‘Of course! Only you see—’

  ‘You felt so important and so secretive that you wanted to keep it to yourself! I suppose you have been going into all sorts of dangers, and I didn’t know. Hugh, that was rather unkind of you, wasn’t it? We have never had any secrets from each other before.’

  ‘I know, Joan; but this was rather different, wasn’t it?’

  ‘How long have you been in the Secret Service?’ she asked, ignoring his question.

  ‘Nearly two years!’

  ‘Two years! And I never guessed!’ She looked at him with admiration. ‘You must be cleverer than I thought,’ she said.

  ‘Thank you!’ he said, bowing.

  ‘Then you are not going to India as a professor?’

  ‘I am – very much so! You saw my appointment. I shall take up the job as professor, and, I hope, do everything that is required of me. At the same time I have a mission from the Intelligence Department.’

  ‘How exciting! What is it?’

  ‘I cannot tell you any more, Joan. You must be satisfied with what I have told you.’

  ‘Of course I am. I’ll never question you in any way, and you shall tell me just as much, or just as little as you like for the future.’

  ‘That’s sporting of you, dear. You must be very careful never to give away by word or sign that I am not altogether what I seem.’

  ‘Of course not!’ she replied indignantly.

  ‘One of our men is coming out with us to help me. He is an awfully good fellow and you’ll like him once you get used to him.’

  ‘Is he very difficult then?’

  ‘No; but he takes a lot of understanding. He has been my valet for a good many years, and I hadn’t the heart to leave him behind, when he pleaded to come, in spite of the expense.’

  She stared at him with wide-open eyes.

  ‘Hugh, what are you talking about?’

  He grinned.

  ‘That is the tale for other people,’ he said, ‘and we shall have to get it so much into our minds that we’ll believe it ourselves.’

  ‘How thrilling it all sounds!’ she said with sparkling eyes.

  ‘Forget the thrills, dear! Remember that I am a dry-as-dust professor of English Literature from now on!’

  ‘I’ll remember,’ she said, rising to her feet. ‘And now Mr Professor, run away and book our passage – I am getting anxious in case we have to wait for weeks.’

  Hugh departed to do
her bidding, while she returned to the maids in the box room. On the way she stopped to look at herself in a mirror.

  ‘What a revelation!’ she murmured. ‘Perhaps in time I may find myself acting as assistant to Hugh. Joan Shannon, of His Majesty’s Intelligence Department, sounds rather nice!’

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Enter Cousins

  For several days Hugh Shannon’s flat in West Kensington was a scene of turmoil. Boxes, dressing-cases, trunks and suitcases littered every room and overflowed into the passages. Joan kept her two maids working at such high pressure that, in a remarkably short space of time, the flat was dismantled. She herself worked tremendously hard and never slacked, and Hugh became a veritable handy-man. Then order began to grow out of chaos, clothes were gradually packed away, and, at last, three days before the boat was due to sail, the inmates of the flat started to breathe easily once more.

  Hugh had managed to get two very good berths on a mail boat, the Ispahan. He was very lucky, for the berths had originally been booked, strangely enough, by a man and his sister, who had been compelled to cancel them at the last moment, owing to some family bereavement. He had obtained a passport for Joan – he, of course, already had one himself – and had had a last interview with the Chief, who had given him final and careful instructions about his work in India. Thus it was that in the evening of the day, when all the heavy packing was at length complete, he sat down and sighed with relief.

  ‘Thank goodness, that’s done!’ he said. ‘Joan, I never knew you were such a slave driver!’

  ‘Well, you shouldn’t give one such short notice,’ she retorted. ‘Maud and Alice have been bricks, and I’d like to take them with me.’

  He nodded.

  ‘They have worked hard,’ he said; ‘and as for you – you’ve been wonderful!’

  ‘Thank you!’ she replied with perfect composure. ‘I think I have! At all events I have done something which you did not think of.’

  ‘What’s that?’ he asked.

  ‘I found all your old books on English literature, and I’ve packed them in a trunk labelled “Wanted on Voyage”. You must be pretty rusty after all these years, and you’ll be able to refresh your memory on the way out.’

  ‘By jove! I never thought of that! You’re splendid!’

  ‘I rather think I am! Let us go out and have a gay evening. We haven’t had one together for some time, and I have no engagements tonight, have you?’

  ‘No!’ he said. ‘That’s rather a good notion. I daresay I’ll find an evening-suit somewhere.’

  ‘And with a little luck I might find a frock which hasn’t been packed. Hurry up, Hugh! I’ll be dressed first.’

  ‘You won’t!’ he declared. Then the door-bell rang.

  ‘If that is any of our sorrowing friends,’ said Joan, ‘I’ll scream!’

  Presently one of the maids knocked, and entered the room. She looked as though she had received the surprise of her life.

  ‘Please, Miss,’ she said, ‘there is a man at the door, who says he is Captain Shannon’s valet. I told him that Captain Shannon hasn’t got a valet, and all he said was “go and tell your master I’ve come”.’

  ‘What is his name, Alice?’ asked Joan.

  ‘Why it’s old Cousins, of course,’ almost shouted Hugh. ‘He was my man for years, Alice, and he’s come back. Tell him to come along in!’

  Alice departed, still with a look of surprise on her face.

  ‘Hugh,’ said Joan severely, ‘when did you learn to tell fibs with such ease?’

  ‘I really am getting positively awful,’ he grinned. ‘I’ll have to put the brake on, or it will become chronic.’

  And then Joan sat straight up and stared. She had been very carefully brought up, but even carefully brought up young ladies are too surprised to remember their manners sometimes. Joan was very much surprised.

  A most remarkable individual entered the room and, seeing her, bowed almost double. Not more than five feet in height, the newcomer had the figure of a boy of fourteen, but his face was so wrinkled that he might have been anything between thirty-five and sixty years of age. As a matter of fact he was forty-three. He was clad in a perfectly fitting blue serge suit, neat collar and tie, patent leather boots and spats. Over his left arm lay a beautifully folded rain-coat, and in his right hand a dark grey Stetson hat. Altogether he looked as though he had stepped out of a band-box.

  Having completed his bow he straightened himself and glanced whimsically from Joan to Hugh and back again, and Joan found herself looking into a pair of the brightest eyes she had ever seen. They were a deep brown, but so sharp that they fascinated her, and it was almost with an effort that she drew her eyes from his, but the next moment she was looking at his mouth. Perhaps this was the most inviting part of his face. It was full of such humorous curves that involuntarily she smiled. He smiled too, and at once his face was a mass of the most extraordinary creases, each one of which appeared to be grinning at her. This was too much for Joan; her sense of humour got the better of her, and she broke into a peal of laughter. The little man laughed too, and the absurdity of the situation so tickled Hugh that he was compelled to join in, with the result that for some seconds the room resounded with their merriment. Alice stood at the door in astonishment, but she also found it impossible to control her laughter, and stuffing a handkerchief into her mouth, she hastened to the kitchen, where she collapsed into a chair, much to Maud’s alarm.

  ‘O-oh!’ gasped Joan, as soon as she had regained control of herself. ‘I’m awfully sorry.’

  She blushed with embarrassment.

  ‘Not at all,’ replied the little man. ‘A most charming introduction I’m sure. There is nothing more conducive to friendship than laughter. Doctor Johnson says that—’

  ‘Never mind Doctor Johnson, Cousins,’ interrupted Hugh. ‘This is my sister! Joan, this is Cousins, my valet who has pleaded so hard to come to India with me!’

  Joan held out her hand, which Cousins took with the air of a cavalier of the seventeenth century.

  ‘I am very glad to meet you, Mr Cousins!’ said Joan, smiling. ‘I am sure you are the ideal valet.’

  ‘Ideal is not descriptive enough, Miss Shannon,’ he replied. ‘There never was, and never will be, such a valet as I. “Clothes maketh the man” is the basis of my religion; you’ll be astonished at the difference in your brother, after I have taken him in hand.’

  ‘I’ll punch your head if you interfere with me, Cousins,’ said Hugh; ‘that is, more than is necessary for appearances’ sake.’

  ‘When I undertake a job, sir, I do it properly. You haven’t a word to say in the matter.’

  Hugh looked helplessly at his sister.

  ‘I’m in for a lively time, Joan,’ he said.

  ‘Not at all,’ put in Cousins. ‘You are about to enter the most triumphant period of your life; that is, since I left your service. We mustn’t forget that I have been your valet for years – I’ve merely been away for a year or so looking after a dying relative.’ He looked at Joan. ‘How long have you had your maid, Miss?’ he queried.

  ‘Maud has been with us for eighteen months,’ she answered, ‘and Alice for just over a year.’

  ‘Then twenty months ago I went away to nurse my dying uncle – he was most inconsiderate and took far too long to die. But here I am back again, sir, and I refuse to leave you any more.’

  Joan laughed.

  ‘You are rather callous about your poor uncle,’ she said. He shrugged his shoulders in a manner almost French.

  ‘He left me far less in his will than I expected. As Marcus Aurelius says—’

  ‘What are you going to do now?’ interrupted Hugh hastily.

  Cousins raised his eyebrows slightly.

  ‘Stay here until we sail, of course,’ he announced.

  ‘But, my dear chap, the place is dismantled,’ expostulated Hugh.

  ‘Don’t worry about me,’ said the little man. ‘I will fit in like a piece in a jigsaw
puzzle. All my heavy stuff has already gone to the docks – I have merely brought a portmanteau here. As Gladstone said in 1887—’

  Hugh again interrupted him.

  ‘Everybody knows what Gladstone said in 1887,’ he remarked.

  ‘But you don’t know what he said about portmanteaux,’ said Cousins solemnly.

  ‘And I don’t want to. What I want to know is, have you booked your berth?’

  ‘Certainly! It was very slack of my employer to forget his man when booking the passage, but your letter and ten crisp five pound notes did the trick, and I am the proud possessor of an upper berth, second class in the RMS Ispahan.’

  ‘Good!’ said Hugh. ‘And now you must excuse us, as we are going to dine out, and do a theatre, and we are already rather late.’

  Cousins spread out his hands.

  ‘I’ll find the kitchen and the pretty little maid who let me in,’ he replied. ‘But first of all I’d better come and tie your bow for you!’

  ‘You dare!’ returned Hugh, and he and Joan went off to dress.

  Cousins repaired to the hall, picked up his portmanteau and found his way to the kitchen. Thereafter there were periods of silence punctuated by bursts of laughter from that direction. Hugh smiled at his reflection in the glass, as he was tying his bow.

  ‘My valet is going to make life very bearable in India,’ he murmured.

  A couple of hours later Joan settled herself comfortably in her stall at the Winter Garden Theatre. The curtain had not yet gone up.

  ‘What an extraordinary man Mr Cousins is,’ she remarked. ‘Do you know, Hugh, I felt most awfully guilty for laughing at him, but he passed it off almost as though it were a compliment.’

  ‘That is Cousins’ way,’ said Hugh. ‘He is a very good fellow, but, as I told you, he takes a lot of understanding.’

  ‘He doesn’t look a bit like a Secret Service man,’ she declared. ‘He would probably have made a fortune on the stage as a comedian.’

  ‘And yet,’ said Hugh, ‘he is one of the cleverest men in the service. He has been everywhere almost, and speaks six languages fluently. If you could get him to talk about himself he would tell you some of the most amazing things. He stands high in the confidence of Sir Leonard Wallace, and it is rather a compliment to me that he has been selected to accompany me to India.’