by Freya Barker
I haven't seen him today, but he did call last night to say goodnight. That was pretty sweet of him. Fox had come out of the bedroom the moment Joe had left earlier and ignored my attempts at talking to him, so I'd let him be, but when I walked into the bedroom with my phone after I identified Joe as the caller, he rolled his eyes at me. Brat. Joe's voice tempts me, even over the phone, but having your son in the next room with a disapproving scowl on his face is a very effective reality check. So short and sweet it was, nothing more, but I did get a promise that somehow, some way, we would find some time alone. I can't wait.
I did call the hospital yesterday afternoon and told them I had a family emergency and wouldn't be in until at least after next Wednesday, thinking that would give us some time. I was too chicken to deal with Jenna directly though, and left the message with the secretary. I tried to ignore the calls from Jenna that started flooding my phone after and haven't listened to the messages yet. Nothing I can do, or rather, want to do, about it now.
Funny, where before I would try and rebuild my life on securities, now it seems to have turned into one big risk. Both dangerous and scary, but also exciting. Kinda liberating to let go of the reigns, make a few contingency plans and then just see where it takes you. That's how I feel now, a little like floating on threats and possibilities. A weird state for me, but one I decided to run with for now. Not like I had much of a choice, and to be honest, as far as work goes, I wouldn't be too upset at this point if I lost my job, although I'd rather leave on good terms and of my own choice.
So I'd wear my slinky top, despite the chilly evening, and pretend I was going on a date. Well I did, until Fox gets a load of my get up and finally decides to speak.
"It's a pig roast, Mom. Not a club. And if you're going all dolled up desperate to try and catch the first guy that looks at you twice, I'm not coming."
Boom. That's the sound of my ass landing firmly back on earth. Just for a moment, I feel the tears welling up, but I force them down.
"I will ignore that deliberately hurtful crap you just spouted, because I don't want to believe you mean it, but Fox, if that’s the way you treat people? Don't expect to receive any better treatment yourself. I may not have been the best mother these past sixteen years, but I've tried. Lately I've laid everything on the line and there isn't much I wouldn't do for you, but I won't stand by and let you belittle me. Not after the way I was treated for years. Did that make you feel better?"
I wait for an answer, looking at my tall son standing in front of me, his head now turned away, unwilling to meet my eyes. An almost imperceptible shake of his head tells me enough.
"Didn't think so. This is what you need to know; I like Joe, and he seems to like me well enough too. So for now, we'll see where it leads. That's all. I have that right and I don't need your approval for that, although it would be nice if you gave the man a chance, given the trouble he has gone through for us—for you. Now I'd like you to get ready. We have a party to attend."
With that I turn my back with my fingers crossed, hoping I somehow got through. Knowing words or even gestures might be too much to ask from a teenager, I'm pleased to hear his heavy footfalls make for the bathroom. Which is where he's been holed up for the past thirty minutes.
"Fox! Come on. You're taking longer than I do to get ready."
Finally the door opens and Fox comes out. Dressed in clean clothes and obviously showered with his hair wet, but a persistent scowl still in place. I can live with that. I hear it's all the rage with the teenage crowd. What I don't expect is the big bear hug my boy wraps me in, pinning my arms to my side. With his head on my shoulder I can barely hear the muffled 'Sorry,' but it's there. Wrestling one of my hands free, I stroke his head and press a kiss to his hair.
"Forgotten," is all I say.
Pulling up to the big barn Caleb and Katie have converted into a gorgeous home, I see half of Cedar Tree is already present and accounted for, but the one truck I'm scanning for isn't there. I'm a bit disappointed Joe isn't here yet, but the night is still young.
Most of the crowd is concentrated around the kitchen and outside on the big back deck. Looks like Malachi is in control of the pig, with Neil hovering nearby. Like a moth, Fox ventures over to the flames as well, where Mal seems to take him under his wing after throwing me a wink. I don't know the man well, but I know he is trustworthy.
I spend some time mingling and chatting with Arlene, thanking her for the tip on the old feed-store, when I hear Caleb's voice from an upstairs window.
"Mal! Get Naomi and come up here."
The urgency in his voice has me jump up and make my way towards Mal who is obviously looking for me.
"I'm here," I tell him and together we make our way inside.
I know what we'll find. I've seen Katie grimacing a few times with her hand pressed against her lower back. I told her last week when I examined her that her cervix was already dilating and had even started thinning, which is pretty unusual in a first timer. So I'm not surprised to find her in a bed soaked with amniotic fluid, when I quickly have to begin rattling off my demands. One peek tells me this baby is ready; its little head crowing, showing us a shock of black hair with each contraction.
This is my passion, I don't think, I simply operate on what I know. This is almost instinct; muscle memory from my favorite year interning on the maternity ward in Phoenix. With a few reassuring words for the parents and Mal acting as gopher and nurse, this birth was as smooth as any woman has a right to give birth. By the time Katie and Caleb pull their newborn son on her chest, my slinky top is a sticky mess and I'm sure my make-up is smeared all over the place, but I wouldn't trade this night for anything. When Katie asks Malachi, her brother-in-law, to cut the cord instead of Caleb, the moment is so emotional, I almost lose it. This is what family should be. This is what I dreamed of having all those years ago, when I was young and hopeful. But now there was just Fox and I, no one else. Not really.
I slip into the bathroom to wash up as best as I can and compose myself before heading back in to check on Mom and baby.
An hour and a half later, Katie is lying in a clean bed, with little Mattias at her breast. She only needed two little internal stitches for a tiny tear, since Mattias wasn't a particularly tiny baby, despite being born a bit early. Mind you, one look at the paternal side of his family and you wouldn't be surprised. Those Whitetail men are massive.
"Here's a clean shirt," Caleb walks up and hands me a T-shirt, something I desperately need.
"Thanks," I smile at him, but he just looks at me with an impassive face before lifting me up in a bone-crushing hug.
"No. Thank you for... for everything. Just thank you." The normally level and contained Caleb can't hide the emotion pouring out in his voice.
"My pleasure and my privilege," I whisper to him, my eyes on Katie.
A kiss on my forehead and Caleb lets me go, turning back to his wife and child. Mal went back downstairs to 'man' the barbecue and the bar and I'm about to head down when Katie calls from the bed. "Would you take Emma and Arlene aside and send them up in the elevator when you go down?"
"Sure thing, honey. Call down if you need me."
I make quick work of my shirt in the bathroom and am about to start down the stairs when I hear Katie's voice behind me.
"Naomi?"
"Yeah?"
"Love you, girl."
That does it. I barely make it down the stairs to find Arlene and Emma already waiting—figures—manage to invite them up, and next I'm out the front door.
I'm drained when I drive to the pig roast. The phone call I received just hours ago from the Phoenix PD is causing this case to become a real threat to my career. A brief consultation with Gus gave me a little peace of mind, but the knowledge I carry that will have to be shared with Naomi is weighing heavy on my shoulders.
The moment I spot her slumped over at the picnic table in the side yard by herself in the dark, I know I won't be able to do this tonight. Not sure what hap
pened to cause her to be out here, but I'm thankful to have a few minutes in private with her. I quickly park my truck and make my way over. She must hear my approach and lifts her head, but when I see her tear-streaked face, I'm convinced she somehow found out already. I barely have a chance to brace myself when she gets up and closes the distance, throwing herself in my arms.
"I'm so sorry—"
"It's a boy—"
We both start talking at the same time.
"What boy?"
"You missed it by about an hour and a half. The baby, Katie had an unexpected home birth," she tells me, smiling through her tears. I tuck her hair behind her ear.
"A boy huh? Is that why you're crying?"
"Been doing a lot of that lately. I'm sorry, I promise I don't usually cry this much. I'm not sad... not really. Just felt a little melancholy with the adrenaline letdown, you know?"
I can tell she is playing things down, and I don't like it. "You sure that's all it is?"
"Maybe suffering a little bit of envy, having that feeling of family is not something that worked out so well for me." Pulling out of my arms, she wipes her face on the hem of some man's T-shirt she is wearing, wipes her hair off her face and presents me with a forced smile. "Anyway, let's go join the gang. You must be starving. Long day? I know I am. Haven't eaten yet either," she babbles as she pulls me along the side of barn to the back where the mouth-watering smells of barbecue are making my stomach groan in anticipation.
Definitely not a good time for my news. I'm going to have to shelve it for tomorrow. I'm not about to mess with the celebratory atmosphere at the party, nor am I going to upset Naomi tonight. Looks like she may be barely hanging on as it is.
Gus spots me rounding the corner and walks toward me, but before he mentions anything, I give him a little shake of my head. He claps me on the shoulder instead.
"Glad you could make it. Did you hear this one here saved the day?" He turns and lifts Naomi right off her feet, making her squeal. "Cool as a cucumber to hear Mal tell it. Took over like a general ordering two of my operatives around. Three if you count Katie."
A small crowd has gathered around us and Naomi sidles closer and closer to my side, a bright blush on her cheeks at all the praise directed at her. I casually slip my arm around her shoulders.
"Come on, Doc. Let's grab some food. I think we need the reinforcements." And with a little nudge she walks beside me to where Mal and Fox are carving the pig and handing out plates. Fox has kept his eyes on his mom the entire time, I notice, and when we get close enough, he puts down the plates he's holding with his good hand and gives her a hug. A small smile plays over her lips and only gets bigger when he says, "That was pretty awesome, Mom."
"Thanks, Bub. It is pretty awesome. It does mean I'll have to stay the night here though, to help out with the baby."
"I'll be ok. I'll just catch a ride with Gus and Emma."
"Actually," Neil, Gus's youngest employee and resident techie, walks up behind him, "remember that game we were talking about earlier? I actually have a copy on my computer at the motel. If your mom doesn't mind you hanging with me tonight, we could head over now and you can crash in the second bed if you get tired."
Don't think I've ever seen Fox smile before and man, it's like a punch to the gut. I couldn't see it before, but without a scowl and his face wide open, suddenly he's the spitting image of his mother. Squeezing Naomi's shoulder, I lean and say softly, "He'll be safe."
"Alright, fine. Have at it." She smiles at the exuberant high fives the two exchange before they take off, yapping about their upcoming night of gaming.
The food is fucking amazing. I'm just cleaning off my second plate when Emma and Arlene come over.
"I gotta say, I normally think babies look like little old men, but this baby actually looks good. Almost cute," Arlene volunteers, stealing a piece of pork off my plate and popping it in her mouth. Naomi snickers as Emma elbows Arlene in the ribs. "Would you shush? Of course that baby is cute. All babies are cute."
"Let's agree to disagree on that. This particular baby is cute... almost, but mostly because he smiled at me."
"Arlene, he did not smile at you. Babies don't smile until they're about eight weeks or so old. Only in some cases earlier. Right Naomi?"
Naomi just raises her hands. "Not getting into that one. Sorry, girls."
"Anyway, we were thinking you must be tired, right? So what about if Arlene and I take first shift here tonight, after you make sure they're ok, of course?" The pleading look both women throw Naomi is almost comical and I can't hold back the chuckle. What's with women and babies? But when Naomi starts voicing some concerns, I quickly cut her off, seeing with sudden clarity the possibilities this arrangement may bring.
"Doc, you're tired. Why don't I go say a quick hello, while you check Katie and the baby out and then I'll make sure you get home safely. Get some rest."
I try to put as much sincerity in my voice as possible, but from the looks on all three women's faces and Mal's chuckle beside me, my ass is busted. So I do what any mature, self-respecting man does in such a situation, I shrug my shoulders and grin.
"Jesus, Joe," Naomi mumbles, rolling her eyes. "Okay, fine. Let's go see if they're up for a quick hello."
Letting her lead, I try to contain my smile—with difficulty—as we make our way upstairs. Things have certainly looked up tonight. While Naomi does her thing with Katie and the baby, I wait in the hallway, congratulating Caleb, who looks equal parts stunned and deliriously happy with his new fatherhood status. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a small pang of something that might've been jealousy, but I force it down and concentrate on being happy for my friend.
Katie is just beaming. This soft, nurturing and openly happy person so different from the woman I first met a few years ago. That woman would've looked odd with a baby in her arms, but on this new Katie, it fit.
"You did good, girl," I tell her, kissing her on the forehead, saying our goodbyes.
Downstairs, Naomi tries to convince me we have to go let everyone know we're leaving, but I disagree. "Not going back there, Doc. It'll take us another hour to get out of here. They'll figure it out."
With my arm around her waist I pull her with me out the front door and to my truck.
"Wait—" she stops me. "I have my car over there."
"Leave it."
"No. What if I have to come back tonight?"
"I'll drive you."
"But what if you get called out? Then I'll be stuck."
Fuck. "Good point," I admit, walking her over to her ride, but when she tries to get in I flip her around and press her against the driver's side door. "Gonna be right behind you. You okay with this? Now's the time to send me packing, ‘cause I don't know I'll be able to turn away later."
She snakes her arms around my waist and grabs my ass, pulling my cock—which has been hard since driving up here—against her belly.
"And let all this go to waste? Joe, I've been wet for you for three years. Didn't matter if I was angry or not; it never failed. I've all but forgotten what it's like to let a man inside me. These past weeks, I've dreamed of nothing but you filling me."
With a growl I slam my mouth down on her, pushing my tongue inside and tangling with hers, while my hands slide down to grab her ass and lift her up. Her legs wrap around my hips almost instinctively and with her back against the car, I grind myself against the heat of her pussy, about setting myself off in the process.
"Joe," she mumbles against my mouth, as her hands find purchase in my hair, but my name is just enough for me to realize I need to get her home, before I have her naked in our friend's front yard. I pull back with difficulty, causing her to whimper. Leaving my forehead against hers, I rest a minute to allow our breathing to slow down before I slide her down my body until her feet touch the ground.
"That was by far the best fucking thing I've heard in a long time. And beautiful? I can't wait to get up inside you, but not here. Get your ass in the car
. I'm gonna be right behind you and soon I'll be all over you."
I pull open her door, lift her inside and go for my truck.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
And let all this go to waste? I've been wet for you?
On the short drive home, with Joe riding my bumper, I still have way too much time to think. And what I'm thinking is that I've gone and lost my mind. Who says shit like that? I behaved like some two-bit sex operator and sounded no better. If I didn't need both hands on the steering wheel, I'd have my face covered right now; I'm that embarrassed. Emotional. Too fucking emotional. It's either flat or deep with me and it's exhausting. Why I have to be this emotionally unbalanced every time around Joe, I have no idea, but I'm sure the man's had enough of crazy women for a lifetime.
When I park the car, I turn off the engine and drop my head on the wheel. Maybe this is not such a good idea. I probably should've stayed with Katie and the baby and not just gone running off with Joe at the first opportunity. Well, not exactly the first opportunity but still. It seems inappropriate. Doesn't it?
The door beside me opening startles me, but even more so does the feel of Joe's firm hands pulling me down from my seat.
"Don't. Don't sit there and talk yourself out of something we both know is going to happen," he says talking to the top of my head because I am studying the tips of my toes.
"Naomi?" He leans in and I can feel the heat of his words penetrate my skin as he speaks. "I need you. I need to feel your fingers tangle in my hair, your tongue in my mouth, your skin under my hands and your pussy squeezing my cock. I need it all, honey."
Slowly raising my eyes, I find his burning with lust and something more. Need? I trace my fingers over his lips and along his jaw before whispering, "Let's go."
We barely make it inside the door, which is quickly kicked shut by a boot, when he has me up against a wall. His hands frantically moving over my body, his mouth covering mine. I'm tearing at his uniform shirt, struggling to get the buttons undone, when he gets impatient, grabs it behind his back and pulls it over his head, flinging it to the ground. With both hands he lifts my shirt right off me before his mouth is back, bruising my lips. Before I know what's happening, he has my bra off and my arms up over my head, held firmly in place; his lips never leaving mine. My bared breasts are stretched up and the friction of my nipples against the light dusting of hair on Joe's bare chest creates an added flush of sensation causing me to whimper in his mouth. I move to get more of it. Grabbing both my wrists in one hand, Joe moves his other down to cup and lift one of my breasts letting go of my lips to track an open-mouthed path down my neck to fit his mouth over my nipple.