“You might want to start slow,” the nurse said to Eli.
As she spoke, she put a hand on TJ’s shoulder and pointed to something on the tablet screen. She was pretty, and TJ’s eyes were bright when he looked at her, and Sage was struck by a wave of jealousy.
As soon as she recognized the emotion, she squelched it.
“Mom,” Eli said, noticing she was awake. “They have an interactive menu. I can touch whatever I want, and it’ll be delivered.”
“Good morning,” the nurse said cheerfully to Sage. “We have nothing but good news this morning. Eli’s fever is down, and he says he’s hungry.”
Sage pulled off her blanket and sat the recliner up, pressing the pop-up footstool back into place. “Should he start with liquids?” she asked, coming to her feet.
She smoothed back her hair, finger-combing it. Her jeans and tank top were wrinkled. She felt frumpy compared to the crisply uniformed nurse.
She shouldn’t care. And she wouldn’t care.
“The menu is customized to each patient’s condition,” the nurse told her. “And a dietician double-checks each of the orders.”
Sage moved toward Eli. “You’re looking much better, honey.”
“TJ said I was on a helicopter.”
She couldn’t help a quick glance at TJ.
He looked fresh and handsome as ever.
“You were,” she told Eli. “We were worried about you.”
“It was weird,” he said.
TJ eased out of the way, and Sage sat down on the edge of Eli’s bed.
“What was weird?” she asked.
The nurse quietly left the room.
“I remember seeing spotted elephants. And then there was a pond, but it was chocolate pudding, with marshmallows, and the marshmallows turned into plump little chicks. It wasn’t like a dream. It was different.”
“That is weird,” Sage agreed, knowing it had to have been the fever. She couldn’t help putting her hand against his forehead. It was blessedly cool.
“Does this thing have games?” Eli ran his finger across the tablet screen.
“I think you just ordered tomato juice,” TJ said.
“Oops,” Eli said.
TJ took the tablet. “There’s a cancel button.”
“Will they let me watch TV?” Eli asked, nodding to the big screen attached to the wall.
“After breakfast,” Sage said.
After the words were out, she wondered why she felt like she had to restrict his television time. Who cared if he watched something while he ate breakfast?
“Do they have a sports channel?” Eli asked.
“I bet they do,” TJ answered. “Your mom probably wouldn’t mind if we found you a game.”
“I feel like I should tell you not to overdo it,” Sage said. “If you’re feeling tired, I want you to nap, okay?”
“I’ve been napping for weeks,” Eli said.
“I know. I’m so glad you’re feeling better.” She leaned in to kiss the top of his head.
“Do you mind if I take your mom out for breakfast?” TJ asked Eli. “I don’t think we can get room service like you do.”
“Do you have to go to work?” Eli asked her. “What day is this? Am I missing school?”
She wasn’t sure how to begin to answer. “Did TJ tell you we left Seattle?”
Eli looked to TJ with what appeared to be amazement.
“On the helicopter,” TJ said. “We’re near a town called Whiskey Bay. It’s south of Seattle, on the coast.”
“We’re at the beach?”
“Pretty close to it.”
Eli looked at Sage, his brows furrowing together.
“Your teacher says you can catch up,” she told him brightly. “And, no, I won’t be going to work today. It’s too far away.”
“Are you going to stay here?” He looked worried.
“I’m staying here just as long as you are.”
He seemed to relax at that, and protective instincts welled up inside her. He was still so young.
A different nurse came into the room. She was carrying a tray of milk, orange juice and red Jell-O.
“You must be Eli,” she said. “I hear you’re feeling hungry.”
As he looked at the tray, his enthusiasm seemed to fade. “They didn’t bring the ice cream.”
“Don’t worry,” she said. “The ice cream is coming.” She set the tray down on the rolling table beside the bed. “Did you see that the menu is in red, yellow and green sections?” She put her hand out, and TJ gave her the tablet.
She touched the screen and put it in front of Eli. “You have to order at least two things from the green section, one thing from the yellow section, and then you can order one thing from the red section.”
“Let me guess,” Eli said. “I have to eat the green and yellow stuff first?”
“That’s a good guess,” she said. “That’s exactly how it works.”
“Okay.” Eli drew out the word in exaggerated resignation.
TJ took the remote control from its holder. “We were hoping for a baseball game.”
“Sports stations start at three hundred,” the nurse said.
He turned on the TV and browsed while Sage watched Eli eat. Three bites into the Jell-O, and he showed no signs of slowing down. She allowed herself a wave of cautious relief. His immune system was still weak, but they’d made it through the immediate danger.
A baseball game playing, TJ spoke to her in an undertone. “You need breakfast too.”
She was ready to agree. She also needed a shower and some fresh clothes, which presented a problem. Everything she owned was back in Seattle, and she didn’t dare put anything more on her credit card.
“I need to get back to Seattle,” she said to TJ. Then she quickly turned to reassure Eli. “I just need to get a few clothes and explain to the people at work. But I’ll be back.”
“You don’t need to leave right away,” TJ said with a frown.
She wasn’t about to have a debate in front of her son. “You’ll be okay for now?” she asked Eli. “Don’t wear yourself out. Take a nap after breakfast.”
“I’m not a little kid.”
“You’re not. That’s true.” She squeezed his hand goodbye, thinking he looked both grown up and so very young at the same time.
Out in the hallway, TJ repeated, “You don’t need anything from home right away.”
“I need clothes.” She hoped he’d be willing to provide transportation. In a pinch, she’d buy a bus ticket. Hopefully, they weren’t too expensive.
“You can buy clothes in Whiskey Bay. We do have stores here.”
They stepped onto the elevator.
She was embarrassed, annoyed at him for cornering her, and her retort came out more flippant than she’d intended. “I’m afraid I left my platinum card at home.”
He looked confused for a moment. Then he shook his head. “Okay, we’ve got to get this worked out.” He took his wallet from his back pocket and flipped it open to extract a credit card. “Take this for now.”
She held up her palms and stepped backward. “Oh, no, no, no.”
The elevator door opened to a group of four waiting in the lobby.
Even more embarrassed, she slipped out and started for the exit.
TJ quickly caught up. “Take the card, Sage.”
“I’m not taking your credit card.”
“I owe you nine years of child support back payments. I don’t know what kind of a shopping spree you’re planning, but I’m betting you can’t run through it all in one day.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
They came to the front door, and he quickly reached to open it for her. “I owe you everything.”
As she stepped onto the front sidewalk, she realized she had no
idea where she was going. She stopped.
Reality came crashing down. She had no car. She had no money. She had to quit her job. And no matter how hard she’d tried to make the best of it, she didn’t want to raise Eli in a basement suite in an area that was heading downhill. He’d be a teenager soon, and the neighborhood influences would get even stronger.
TJ was the answer to all of that. He could solve everything. All she had to give up was her pride.
That was all—such a little thing. She steadied herself. She steeled herself.
For Eli, she’d do it.
“I’ll do it,” she said out loud.
“You’ll take my credit card?”
“I’ll do it all.” She looked up at him as she took the plunge. “I’ll move to Whiskey Bay. I’ll live in your house. But I am paying rent. I’ll get a job of some kind.”
He didn’t look as happy as she’d expected. In fact, he frowned.
“I’ve changed my mind,” he said.
* * *
Sage’s dejected expression told TJ he was botching things all over again.
“I mean,” he corrected himself, glancing around for a quiet spot, “we need to talk about our plans.”
She opened her mouth.
“Please don’t say anything.” He gestured to a brick pathway across the drive that he knew led to a garden. “Let’s walk instead.”
“I don’t want to walk,” she said, a wobble in her voice. “I don’t want to talk. You’ve changed your mind, and that’s fine.”
“Please?” he asked.
She hesitated. But then she squared her shoulders, pursed her lips and started for the path.
He gave a silent thank-you as he followed.
“Thing is,” he said, formulating his words as they made their way past a carpet of tulips and daffodils, “I’m thinking about what’s in Eli’s best interest.”
Her tone was flat. “Is this your way of telling me you’re taking me to court?”
“No. I’m not taking you to court. I mean, I hope we’re not going to court.” He struggled to get it right. “I have no desire to get lawyers involved.”
“I don’t have a lawyer.”
“I have four.” He stopped himself. “I’m sorry. That was supposed to be funny.”
He knew he had to get on with it. He was making things worse by the second.
They’d come to a white gazebo overlooking the ocean.
“Can we sit?” he asked, gesturing to the benches inside the octagonal shelter.
She seemed resigned as she took the three stairs up. She perched on the edge of the bench.
“I’m going to start over,” he said, sitting next to her, angling himself so he could see her expression. “If you could hear me out, it would be really great.”
She stayed silent, giving him hope.
“I want what’s best for Eli. I know you do too.”
She seemed to struggle to stay silent at that.
“I think Whiskey Bay is best for Eli. I know you can’t see the problems with your basement suite. And maybe it’s a better neighborhood than I’m giving it credit for. And while it’s true I could move to Seattle, I don’t want to move. My home is here. Lauren and I designed and built that house, and I’m not ready to give it up. My best friends Caleb and Matt live on either side. I’m not trying to make it a contest. And I really don’t want to sound like I’m bragging. I’m not.” He took a breath, but she didn’t interrupt him.
“I want Eli with me. And I know you want him with you. But I don’t want you to be a boarder in my house. I don’t want you to feel like a guest. I don’t want you to be a guest. I want Eli to have a family.”
Confusion grew on her face.
“You said there was no one in your life.” He swallowed his emotion. “Well, I’ve already lost the love of my life. I’ve spent the past year trying, and I know I’m never going to meet anyone who’ll hold a candle to Lauren. But I want Eli to have a family. I want him to have his mother and his father both and with him every day, not separate, not shuttling back and forth between us. Maybe one day he feels like tossing a ball around. Maybe he needs some manly advice. Maybe he needs a hug from his mom, a little softness in his world, the security of knowing you’re right there, that the person who nurtured him since he was born is right there. Whatever it is he needs, I want him to have it.”
The color had gone out of her cheeks. “TJ, we can’t—”
“That’s the thing. We can. We can try. If it all fell apart, if you met somebody in the future, well, if you had to leave me someday, we’d cross that bridge. But in the meantime, I want to go all in, a ring, a ceremony, a joint checking account.” He took her hands in his. “I can’t ask you to give up your current life without offering you a new one.”
She opened her mouth. Then she closed it again.
He forced himself to wait. He’d said enough.
The seconds dragged before she spoke. “A marriage of convenience.”
“Yes.”
“A very radical solution to a very ordinary problem.”
“There’s nothing ordinary about it. And even if there is, it’s unique to us. Our circumstances are unique. Why shouldn’t our solution be unique?”
She seemed to be searching for counterarguments. “What would we tell people?”
“The truth. We knew each other in high school. We have a son. And we reunited and got married. That’s all they need to know.”
“Live a lie.”
“No. I wouldn’t ask you to do that. You can give the details to whoever you want. There are a few people I’d tell. But only a few.”
“I can’t believe we’re having a serious discussion about this.”
He slipped his hands from hers and leaned back against the bench. “There are a whole lot of things about the past few weeks that I can’t believe.”
She leaned back beside him, and they both stayed silent. The breeze rustled the trees, while the waves below splashed against the rocks.
“Before this,” she finally said, “before they found you, when I got the bad news, I swore I would do anything, give anything, endure anything, if only Eli would get better.”
TJ liked where she was going, even if he wasn’t crazy about the word endure.
“I suppose it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” she said.
He couldn’t help but smile. “That’s what a man wants to hear.”
To his surprise, she smiled back. She even gave a quick laugh. “I’m not going to start sugarcoating it.”
He took her hand in his, raising them both. “Is that a yes? Are we in this together?”
“Raising Eli? Getting him well?”
“Both of those things.”
“You are his father.”
“I am.”
“Yes,” she said with a nod. “We’re in this together.”
Six
Sage could barely repeat her vows. She swallowed again, but it didn’t help. Her voice was paper-dry. She doubted the justice of the peace could even hear her.
They were in a hushed room at the Whiskey Bay courthouse surrounded by mosaic tiles and polished wood. TJ’s friends Matt and Tasha had come along as witnesses. The diamond ring felt heavy on Sage’s finger. She’d told TJ that an engagement ring was silly, but he’d insisted.
Matt and Tasha knew it was a marriage of convenience, and TJ was open to telling anyone else Sage wanted to tell. But for the public at large, they’d agreed it was best for Eli if their family looked as normal as possible.
She knew it was the right decision. Still, she felt like a fraud wearing a two-carat diamond.
She couldn’t help but glance down at it now. The round solitaire gleamed against the gold band. It was as conventional as you could get, for a marriage that was anything but conventional.
She made it through her vows and braved a look at TJ. He was somber, almost sad. But he gave her hands a reassuring squeeze and seemed to muster up a smile.
He had to be thinking about Lauren. Sage knew how much he missed her. She could only imagine their wedding had been worlds away from this simple ceremony.
The justice of the peace asked for the wedding rings, and Matt brought them forward. TJ slipped a ring on her finger. Then she slipped one on his. And it was done.
“You may kiss the bride.”
TJ’s smile firmed up a little, and he tilted his head, leaning forward. Sage tipped hers, waiting for his lips.
She could do this. She knew what to expect. It wasn’t like it was their first kiss. And she’d relived that one a thousand times.
She braced herself for the pleasure she remembered. She was ready.
His lips touched hers, and a deluge of emotion washed through her.
She wasn’t ready!
Time must have dulled her memory.
A starburst erupted in her brain. Her skin flushed to glowing. Her toes curled, and the sizzle of passion warmed the roots of her hair.
Her lips parted. The kiss deepened. She leaned into him, and before she could stop it, she’d plastered her body against his and wrapped her arms around his neck.
TJ’s hands slid to her hips. He eased her back, breaking away.
She blinked herself back to reality, mortified.
“Congratulations.” Tasha’s rush of enthusiasm covered the moment and she gave Sage a hug.
Matt clapped TJ on the back and shook his hand. “Congratulations, TJ.”
Sage fought to bring her racing pulse under control and to pretend she hadn’t just made a colossal fool of herself.
“Caleb set up the private room at Neo,” Matt said. “Nothing too much, just us, them and Noah and Melissa.”
“The chef at Neo is amazing,” Tasha said.
“Wait, what?” Sage looked to TJ.
“We’re going to celebrate,” Matt said.
“It’ll be low-key,” Tasha said.
Highly uncomfortable, Sage looked at Tasha. “You know... I mean, you guys know this isn’t really...”
“We know this isn’t a conventional marriage,” Tasha said. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not part of the family. I can’t wait to meet your son.” Concern came into her expression. “How’s he doing?”
His Temptation, Her Secret Page 8