“I want to adopt her.”
TJ had known that was what Sage meant. He looked back into her eyes, seeing compassion, sincerity and determination. “And you called me impulsive for tearing down a wall.”
“I need to do this, TJ.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “We need to do this.”
Her eyes widened, then went glassy with unshed tears. “Thank you.”
She surged forward and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you, TJ.”
He hugged her close, telling himself to think about Heidi, to think about Eli, to think about Sage as a caring and capable mother. But that wasn’t what he was thinking.
He was thinking about her naked, in his arms and in his bed. He told himself to let go. But his arms wouldn’t cooperate. They tightened around her instead.
Nine
At the kitchen table in Melissa and Noah’s house, Sage smiled at a text message from the new housekeeper, Kristy.
“Both kids are asleep,” she said to Melissa, Jules and Tasha.
“Wish I could say the same about the twins.” Jules looked up from her own phone. “Caleb is sending up an SOS.”
“Tell him to call Matt,” Tasha said, her hand going to her rounded stomach. “Matt needs the practice.”
Sage grinned and typed into her phone.
“How is Heidi settling in?” Melissa asked Sage.
“It’ll take some time.”
It had been a week since Heidi’s mother had passed away. They’d held a small memorial service, where Heidi had clung to Sage. On the recommendation of the head nurse, and with the help of TJ’s lawyers, a judge had granted Sage and TJ emergency custody of Heidi. The actual adoption was going to take several months.
For now, Heidi was reeling from the loss and still struggling to heal from her injuries.
“She seems like a strong little girl,” Tasha offered.
“She smiled yesterday,” Sage said. “She and Eli were painting on the wall, and Eli ended up with red paint on his nose. Heidi thought it was funny.”
Sage’s heart had warmed at the sight.
“That paint wall is inspired,” Jules said.
“It was Lauren’s brainchild,” Sage said, feeling like she had to give the woman credit.
One entire wall of the big recreation room in TJ’s basement was designated as an art area. Once it was covered, the plan was to photograph the artwork, then paint over everything in white and start over. It was a simple concept, but the kids seemed to love it.
“I hear she had a big hand in the festival,” Jules said, gazing at the large map of Lookout Park spread out in front of them. “The special lunch made with foods all harvested within a hundred miles and the local art booths were both her ideas.”
Sage fought the reflexive feeling of inadequacy she seemed to experience whenever people talked about Lauren. The woman had been beloved by more than just TJ.
“Creativity is not my forte,” Sage said.
“What is your forte?” Jules asked.
“She’s a fantastic mom, obviously,” Melissa said.
“She was a genius in high school,” Tasha said.
“That’s a huge exaggeration,” Sage felt compelled to tell them.
“What subjects did you like?” Jules asked.
Sage thought about it. “Math, I suppose. I did well in physics. I really liked the concrete subjects. You learn the answer, and you’ve got the marks. The creative subjects frustrated me. How do you get one hundred percent on an essay?”
“I never got a hundred percent on anything,” Melissa said.
“That just makes you human,” Tasha said.
They all laughed.
“Still, math,” Jules said. “I’m not exactly sure how that translates to the festival.”
“I can write checks,” Sage said.
“That’s huge,” Melissa said. “Looking at the budget, I’d say that was the best talent of all.”
“The budget,” Sage said, inspired. “Can I help with the budget?”
“You mean beyond your very generous contribution, actually manage the budget?”
“I’m good with spreadsheets.”
“Sold,” Tasha quickly said.
Jules’s phone chimed and she checked the message. “Apparently, Matt’s not going to cut it.” She rose to her feet. “I better take off.”
“I’ll go with you,” Tasha said. “Sage, the budget is coming your way first thing tomorrow.”
“Thanks,” Sage said.
Melissa laughed. “No, thank you. It’s the least popular job for the whole festival.”
“Way to talk her out of it,” Tasha said.
“I’m still in,” Sage said, feeling happy to be useful.
While Jules and Tasha left, Melissa rolled up the map of the park.
“Glass of wine?” Melissa asked Jules. “I didn’t want to offer while Tasha was here, since she can’t drink.”
“I’d love one.” Sage enjoyed Melissa’s company.
Eli and Heidi were well looked after, and TJ had said he’d be staying late to teleconference with someone in Australia.
“Noah will be bringing you guys the upstairs plans tomorrow,” Melissa said as she opened a cupboard filled with glasses.
Sage followed her into the big, bright, brand-new kitchen. She loved the hunter-green countertops, the sunshine lighting and all the wood accents. There were long banks of cupboards and what seemed like miles of usable countertops.
“I’m sure I’ll like it.” From what she’d seen of Melissa and Noah’s partially renovated house, she very much trusted Noah’s tastes.
“It’s an amazing thing you’re doing,” Melissa said as she poured.
“I’m not doing anything. It was TJ’s idea, and Noah is the one executing it.”
“I meant with Heidi.”
Sage mentally switched gears. “It’s not altruistic. She’s a wonderful little girl.”
“Still, TJ said to Noah that you didn’t hesitate for a second.”
“Neither did he.” Sage was still grateful for TJ’s quick acceptance of Heidi, and of Eli too, she realized.
He could have made things difficult for her, but he’d come up with a very creative solution. Few men would have opened up their lives that way TJ had done, even for their own son, and certainly not for the woman who’d kept a secret from him all these years.
“What?” Melissa prompted, holding out a glass of white wine.
“Nothing.”
“You’ve got an expression on your face.” She gazed closely at Sage. “Are you thinking about TJ?”
“Eli and Heidi.”
“You’re thinking about a man.”
Sage gave a nervous laugh. “Are you a mind reader?”
“I’m an expression reader. But I won’t press.” Melissa led the way back to the table and set the chilled bottle of wine between them while they sat.
“But I am curious,” Melissa said. “Are things going okay with the two of you? There have been some huge changes in both of your lives.”
“They’re going fine,” Sage said. “They’re going good.” She tried to stop a smile, but it came anyway.
“Okay, now I have to ask,” Melissa said, arching forward. “Don’t answer if you don’t want to, but is there something romantic going on in your marriage?”
“No,” Sage quickly answered. She took a bracing sip of the wine.
“Okay.” Melissa sat back.
“I’ve kissed him,” Sage admitted.
She wanted to be friends with Melissa, and being completely guarded about her personal life didn’t seem like a good way to start a friendship. And they were only kisses. One of them had been at their wedding. They didn’t mean a thing. Well, they didn’t mean much.
“Was it a kiss or a kiss?” Melissa asked.
“It was a kiss,” Sage said. “Okay, it was a good kiss.” She slipped her fingers along the stem of the glass. “Some might call it a great kiss.”
Melissa raised her glass in a mock toast.
“Am I being stupid? This isn’t a romance, far from it,” Sage said. “But he’s a really hot guy.”
“He is handsome,” Melissa said. “And he’s athletic and intelligent. And he’s the father of your child. And you’re living with him. I’d say there was something wrong with you if you weren’t attracted to him.”
“Well, then, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me.”
Melissa chuckled. “Would it be so bad? If something were to happen between you two?”
“I don’t know,” Sage answered honestly. “We went into this with our eyes wide-open. It was for Eli. Neither of us was looking for a relationship, especially not TJ.” Her voice went lower. “Especially not TJ.”
“Lauren’s gone,” Melissa said softly.
“But not forgotten.”
“You’re two healthy adults.”
“That doesn’t mean we should...” Sage stopped herself, realizing where her mind was going, where it had been going a lot lately.
“It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t,” Melissa countered.
“I’m not going to sleep with—”
“Your husband?”
“He’s not...at least not in the conventional sense.”
Melissa topped up their glasses. “I’m not saying you should sleep with him. Of course I’m not saying you should sleep with him. I’m just saying don’t be too quick to write it off. If the idea comes up, I mean. Like I said, you’re both healthy adults. And who else are you going to sleep with? I can’t see you having an affair.”
The words brought Sage up short. “I’m not going to cheat on TJ.”
The idea was appalling.
Melissa’s brows went up with an unspoken question. If Sage wasn’t going to sleep with TJ, but she wasn’t going to cheat on TJ, where did that leave her? Eli was nine years old. Heidi was only seven.
Years of celibacy stretched ominously in front of her.
* * *
The Seaside Festival was in full swing with hundreds of people, locals and tourists alike, out enjoying what had been a perfect late-August Sunday, with temperatures in the low eighties, breezes light and not a single cloud in the sky. TJ had been gratified to watch Eli participate in the kids’ games this afternoon. He and the pitcher on a local Little League team won their age group’s egg toss.
Heidi’s leg was improving quickly, and her brace had been removed, but it would be a while before she’d be running. She’d loved the art events and spent nearly an hour wandering among the artisans’ booths. TJ offered to buy her something, and she’d finally chosen a hand-painted ceramic bowl. It was brightly and cheerfully colored, and he took that as a good sign. She’d also visited the face-painting tent, coming away decorated as a black-and-white kitten. She looked adorable.
The sun had dropped behind the mountains, and the hamburger and hot dog barbecue was winding down. Both Eli and Heidi looked exhausted where they sat on a picnic table bench, Eli beside TJ and Heidi across the table beside Sage.
“I should take them home,” Sage said, smoothing Heidi’s braided hair and giving her a kiss on the top of the head.
“Kristy will take them.” TJ pulled out his phone.
Kristy was enjoying the festival with some of her friends, but she was on call and ready to take the kids home.
“I don’t want to bother her,” Sage said, rising.
“We’re paying to bother her,” TJ said, sending the text. “And she likes the job.”
Sage obviously decided she couldn’t argue with that. Kristy was a college student, and she wanted to earn as much as possible over the summer. She’d made it clear that she liked her job, and she loved the kids. There was no reason in the world for Sage to miss the dance and the fireworks tonight.
“Kristy says we can see the fireworks from the balcony,” Eli said.
The first fireworks show was at eight, with a bigger show at midnight to close off the dance.
“Baths first,” Sage said.
“What about my kitty face?” Heidi asked.
“It’s just for the day, sweetheart,” Sage said.
Heidi’s expression fell.
TJ’s compassion kicked in.
“The paint will smear all over your pillow,” Sage said.
“I’ll sleep on my back. I won’t move. I promise.”
Kristy arrived and seemed to take in the scene.
“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” she asked Heidi.
Heidi looked up at Kristy, tears forming in her eyes. “I want to be a kitty.”
“She doesn’t want to wash,” TJ told Kristy.
Kristy immediately produced her phone. “I’ll take a picture. We’ll know what it looks like, and we can put it on again tomorrow.”
Heidi’s face brightened.
“Or if you want,” Kristy said, “we’ll paint something else tomorrow instead. That way you won’t get bored.”
“I want to be a kitty,” Heidi said with determination.
“Kitty it is,” Kristy said cheerfully. “You can be a gray kitty tomorrow, or an orange kitty.”
“Orange,” Heidi sang out.
“Nice save,” TJ murmured to Kristy.
“Come on, kids.” Kristy patted Eli’s shoulder, then rounded the table to take Heidi’s hand.
“We won’t be too late,” Sage told her.
“Take your time.”
“Can I have watermelon bubbles in my bath?” Heidi asked as they walked away.
Across the table, Sage gave an audible sigh.
TJ turned his attention to her. “Everything okay?”
“Hmm?” She met his gaze.
“You sighed.”
“She’s talking about bubbles, watermelon bath bubbles. It’s such a wonderfully ordinary thing.”
“She’s come a long way the past few weeks.”
“Thank you,” Sage said to him.
“You don’t have to thank me. You need to stop thanking me. I don’t even know what you’re thanking me for.”
Sage laughed at that, and the sound of it warmed him. “Everything. Nothing. I don’t even know. I just know that Eli’s getting better and Heidi’s settling in.”
“I’m as happy about that as you are.”
“I know,” she said.
The strains from the band came up on the gazebo. They’d installed a temporary wooden floor on the grass and strung hundreds of tiny white lights overhead. Couples were moving toward the dance floor.
TJ couldn’t have imagined his life could ever feel this rich. The house was full of sounds and clutter. Sage was fitting in with the community. Eli was making friends on the baseball team. He’d even started doing a little practice with them. And Heidi was a delicate jewel. He couldn’t help but imagine how much Lauren would have loved a little girl like Heidi.
But then he reminded himself that if Lauren was here, Heidi wouldn’t be here. It would be him and Lauren and possibly Eli, but even Eli would be here only part-time, because TJ would share custody with Sage. His eyes focused on her profile.
He tried to picture himself with Lauren and Eli. But the image wouldn’t come. For the first time, he wondered how Lauren would have felt about Eli. Would she have loved him the way TJ did? Could she have brought another woman’s son fully into her heart?
Melissa and Noah approached the table.
“Highest attendance ever,” Melissa said gleefully to Sage.
“Congratulations!” Sage returned.
“To you too.”
Sage waved away the praise. “I didn’t do much of an
ything.”
“The drudge work.” Melissa looked to TJ. “All that thankless, behind-the-scenes financial stuff, Sage knocked it out of the park. She negotiated prices and found savings. You have her to thank for the awesome sound system.”
“It was better this year.” TJ had noticed that.
“Clear as a bell,” Noah said.
“And her work’s not done yet,” Melissa said. “The rest of us can stand down after tomorrow, but Sage will have invoices coming in for the next month.”
“Not a problem,” Sage came back easily. “I may not be good at much, but numbers I can do.”
The words surprised TJ. How could Sage sell herself so short?
“Do you want to sit down?” Sage asked Melissa.
Melissa shook her head. “We’re going to dance.” Then she turned her attention to TJ. “Come on, TJ, get your wife up on the dance floor. She deserves to enjoy herself.”
Sage didn’t look his way.
They hadn’t danced in a long time, and it had the potential to be awkward.
But he was willing to risk it. He wanted to dance with Sage.
He came to his feet and held out his hand. “Let’s give it a try.”
“That’s the spirit,” Melissa sang, wrapping her hand around Noah’s arm and turning him toward the dance floor. “The night is young.”
Sage grinned at Melissa’s exuberance. Then she met TJ’s eyes, and the grin faded.
He didn’t let himself second-guess. He moved around the table to snag her hand, helping her to her feet.
* * *
Sage had never danced so much in her life. They laughed through fast songs, swayed through slow songs and stopped intermittently to have a drink and look at the stars. Jules and Caleb left early to get back to the twins, but Melissa and Noah stayed, and even Tasha—while telling them she was more easily tired in her pregnancy—made it through the last song.
There was nothing left but the fireworks, and the crowd made its way to the cliff overlooking the harbor. The fireworks were being set off at the far end of the public wharf.
“This way,” TJ said to her, taking her hand again as they moved to the edge of the crowd and around a set of high boulders.
They came out at a small clearing with a sweeping view.
His Temptation, Her Secret Page 13