by R. Linda
Then I typed the only thing I could in a message to Harper.
Chapter Fourteen
Harper
“Who are you texting?” Kenzie asked, pulling my attention from my phone held firmly in my grasp. What was taking him so long to respond? Maybe I pushed things too far when I sent the photo. He was adamant that we were just friends, but that wasn’t good enough for me anymore.
“Just a friend,” I said, knowing she’d put two and two together.
“You don’t have friends.” Indie laughed into her wineglass.
“I do so. Why does everyone keep saying that?”
“Because you only hang out with us.”
It was true. They were my only friends, and now I was trying to talk Nate back into my bed after I ended things in the first place. He was Indie’s brother. He was Brody’s cousin. How messed up was that?
Maybe I should text him and tell him…what? That I’d only been messing around. That I didn’t want him as anything more than a friend. But I couldn’t do that. Not now, not after another “one night” together. I’d be lying to him, to myself, and to my heart.
“How’s the Chace situation?” I asked Kenzie, changing the subject.
“Haven’t seen or heard from him since he showed up at school, so I don’t know. It’s a good thing, I guess.”
“Maybe not.” Indie frowned at her phone.
“What?”
“Linc just texted me to say they were leaving the bar early because Chace showed up.”
Kenzie winced and closed her eyes.
“Ryder?” Bailey asked, concern etching her features.
“Didn’t see him.” Indie nodded in confirmation. “They got him out of there before he ran into Chace.”
“Thank god.” Kenzie sighed. “He can’t get into any more trouble.”
My phone buzzed in my hands.
Nate: Screw the consequences.
My fingers loosened their grip on the phone, letting it fall to the floor.
All eyes turned to me.
“Sorry.”
I picked up my phone and typed a reply.
Harper: Nate…
Nate: Brody is working all night. I’m going home now. It’s your decision, friend.
And he was still calling me “friend.” What did I do? Should I meet him, or stay here with my friends? He was giving me what I wanted, and I was suddenly unsure what to do. We agreed after the other night it could never happen again. It was a one-time thing. A one-time thing that still had my body tingling. A one-time thing that consumed my thoughts. Seriously, I was like a teenage boy thinking about sex with how often my thoughts wafted over to a naked Nate.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Bailey said.
“I, uh…I have to go.” I guessed I’d made up my mind.
“Harper,” Kenzie warned.
“I have to, Kenzie. I can’t…,” I paused, trying to think of the right words. “It’s just something I have to do, okay?”
She held up her hands in surrender. “Just be careful.”
“Always.”
I said goodbye, grabbed my bag, and left. Bailey and Ryder’s place wasn’t that far from Nate’s small apartment, so I could walk there easily enough. I just hoped I didn’t stumble across any of the others on my way. That would be too many questions I couldn’t answer.
***
One look at Nate as he walked toward the stairs, I knew I had made the right decision. If not for the reasons I was expecting, but for the one that was glaringly obvious.
“Hi, friend.” He smiled when he saw me waiting for him, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They were drawn and red. He was exhausted.
“Hi.” I stood and let him link his fingers with mine, pulling me up the stairs to his apartment door. He never let go, not until we were in his room, standing quietly face to face.
“You came,” he whispered, his free hand reaching for my hip. He tugged me to him and dropped his head to my shoulder. “I wasn’t sure you would.”
“Screw the consequences, right?”
He dropped my hand and reached for the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head and dropping it on the floor.
“Screw them. Screw everything.” He pulled back to look at me, his fingers dancing along my collarbone before they dragged down over my arms and back to my hips, and then he dropped to his knees in front of me. He leisurely trailed his hands down my legs until he reached my boots. He lifted one leg and placed it on his lap so he could release the zipper and remove my shoe before repeating the process with the other one.
Still kneeling, Nate looked up at me, a dazed expression on his face as he caught my gaze. My hands were in his hair, my fingers aching to touch him in any way. I was lost in his eyes, lost in the moment. I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t form a thought as his hands rubbed circles on my legs, inching higher and higher until he popped the button on my waistband and slid my leather pants down my legs and discarded them with my shirt.
With a kiss to the top of my thigh that sent chills up my spine, he stood, removed his shirt, and handed it to me. I took it from him, clutching it in my fingers as I stood frozen to the spot, watching him kick off his shoes and drop his jeans to the floor with mine. He took his shirt from my hands and pulled it over my head because I couldn’t function.
What was wrong with me?
Nate wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, my hands finding their way around the back of his neck and into his hair once again. He gripped my thighs and lifted me, forcing my legs around his waist while he buried his face in the crook of my neck. It seemed to be his favourite spot.
“You smell so good,” he said, inhaling the scent of my skin, my hair, my body wash. “Sweet…like honey.”
Carrying me over to his bed, he laid me down gently and climbed in beside me. We were on our sides facing each other. Our fingers twisted together beneath the covers, our eyes locked in their own embrace.
“Nate, you need to sleep.” He couldn’t keep going the way he was. It was going to kill him.
“I don’t want to.” He folded one arm under his head and watched me.
“It’s not good for you.”
“You’re good for me.”
I smiled. “For now. This is all going to blow up when people find out.”
“When Brody finds out, you mean?”
I nodded. “We agreed it was a one-time thing.”
He laughed. “Yeah, we said that in Fiji too. That worked out well.”
“One night, Nate. That was all it was meant to be.” As much as I wanted this.
“Screw the consequences. Remember? One night isn’t enough. One night in Fiji clearly wasn’t enough if the three months that followed were anything to go by. And all that one night this week did was serve to remind me how good we are together. Naked, of course. I’m done fighting this.” His squeezed my hand. His eyelids fluttered closed before he snapped them open again. “I want a hundred ‘one nights.’” His voice trailed away as sleep finally overtook him.
“Screw the consequences another day,” I whispered, watching his breaths even out as he fell into a deep sleep. I wanted a hundred nights too. Only I feared that still wouldn’t be enough.
I rolled onto my side, pressing my back against his chest, and wrapped his arm around my waist, falling into peaceful sleep with him.
I fully intended on waking early and leaving before Brody got home from his shift, but that didn’t happen if the sound of the front door closing was anything to go by. Nate woke with a jolt beside me, almost jumping out of the bed.
“What was that?” He looked around frantically.
“Shh, it’s okay. It’s just Brody getting home,” I reassured him.
“Okay.” He nodded, still half asleep, and pulled me into his arms as he settled back into his pillows.
Then he froze.
“Brody’s home?”
I nodded, not wanting to speak in case Brody heard. Linc had told me once the walls were thin.
“Dammit. We have to sneak you out of here.”
“Thanks. That makes me feel real good about myself.” I shoved him away.
“Sorry. That sounded worse than I thought. But you know…” He threw his hands in the air to emphasise the urgency of the situation.
“I know.”
What if he came looking for Nate? What if he walked into Nate’s room?
“I should get dressed.” I rolled over and kicked my legs out of the bed, but Nate’s arm around my waist pulled me back.
“Not yet. We have at least an hour of him wasting time before he has a shower and goes to bed. Stay a little longer.”
I smiled at him and leaned in, resting my head on his chest. Not much I could do until Brody went to sleep, so I might as well enjoy the moment while it lasted.
We fell asleep. Again.
“Dammit. Nate.” I shook him gently, not wanting to wake him, but needing to get the hell out of there. I had an exam in the afternoon.
“Hmmm.”
“The shower is running. I need to go.” I climbed out of the bed and pulled on my clothes, deciding to carry my shoes so they didn’t echo down the hall.
“Nate.”
“Coming.” He groaned as he sat up and stretched his neck.
Padding to the door, he opened it just enough to put his head through.
“Coast is clear,” he whispered, looking at me over his shoulder. I followed him on tippy-toes through the apartment to the front door, careful not to make a noise.
“Thanks for having a sleepover, friend,” Nate said softly as he opened the door to let me out. I stood on the threshold and slid my boots on carefully.
“Anytime.”
“Who’s at the door?” Brody’s voiced sounded from behind Nate. My eyes widened, and I took a step back. Nate turned on his heels and faced Brody, attempting to close the door in my face. I rolled my eyes.
“Uh…”
Brody looked over Nate’s shoulder. “Harper, hey.” He smiled, his eyes lighting up. Nate dropped his head briefly before stepping to the side and opening the door wider.
Brody stood beside Nate, in a towel. Water still dripped down his chest.
“What are you doing here?”
“I—I, umm…” I panicked. What could my excuse be? I glanced around and noticed Nate’s jacket thrown over the side of the sofa. “I was returning Nate’s jacket.”
I mentally patted myself on the back. That was a valid reason, right?
“Why did you have his jacket?” Brody frowned.
I was done. I couldn’t come up with another lie.
“She found me stumbling down the street last night after leaving the bar and gave me a lift home,” Nate answered.
“And the chick?” Brody asked.
Nate and I looked at each other.
“What chick?”
“The one in your bed this morning.”
My heart dropped. He saw? But he didn’t know it was me. My shoulders sagged in relief.
“Umm.” Nate scratched the back of his head.
“Told you he was shagging his way out of a broken heart,” Brody said to me with a laugh.
I didn’t find it funny. It only served as a reminder of everyone Nate had apparently been with since me.
“You went into my room?” Nates hands clenched.
“Only to check if you were home.”
“Where else would I be at seven a.m.?” His shoulders were tense.
“Who knows? You hardly sleep. And when I didn’t get home to find you drinking coffee straight from the pot, I stuck my head in to check.”
“Stay out of my room.”
“Whatever. Whoever she is, I’m just glad she managed to get you to fall asleep, so you don’t keep me awake all night thumping around the house.” Brody yawned. “Okay, I’m beat. See you, Harper.”
“Yeah, bye,” I said quietly as Brody walked away. I turned and walked down the stairs.
“Harper?” Nate called. “Wait.”
I didn’t wait. I didn’t want to have the talk. The one I knew was coming. The one that said those other girls didn’t mean anything. Those other girls were nothing. Whatever. I had no right to be jealous. I was the one who ended things, after all.
Nate cursed, and then his footsteps thudded down the stairs behind me. I reached the front of the apartment building and stepped outside before he caught me.
“Stop.” He grabbed me and spun me around, pushing me back until the cold concrete wall was pressed into my spine.
His hands cupped my face, and he rested his forehead on mine. “Brody exaggerates.”
“So, there was no one else in the last three months?” I didn’t touch him, even though I craved it.
Nate shook his head. “There was one. One, and nothing happened.”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever. Not like we were in a relationship then, and it’s not like we’re in one now.”
I didn’t know why I was getting so worked up.
“No. But we keep coming back to each other. There’s something between us. Some sort of magnetic pull that keeps drawing us back together in one way or another. I told you last night, I was done fighting. We keep dancing around each other, and I’m tired of it,” he said, and then he kissed me.
“Tired of it?”
“Exhausted,” he said with a smile. “I can’t stay away any longer.”
He kissed the hell out of me.
His mouth was hot and needy on mine, his fingers firm on my neck while his thumbs grazed my cheeks. My body betrayed me and melted in his arms. I brought my hands up to his chest and clutched his shirt to pull him closer. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and my knees gave out. Nate caught me and hoisted me up until my legs were around his waist. His teeth pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, making me gasp.
All thoughts had left my head.
All hesitation was gone.
Our tongues slid together, our hands moved everywhere.
Touching too much.
Not touching enough.
I didn’t care that we were outside his apartment building, that people could see us, or at any moment Brody could come looking for him and catch us. I just needed his kisses.
Nate pulled back, his breath heavy and laboured. He released me, and I slid down the wall like the pile of mush I was.
With one light peck on the lips, he said, “We’ll keep it quiet. No one needs to know. Screw the consequences. I’m in. Ball’s in your court, friend.”
And then he walked back inside.
Chapter Fifteen
Nate
“How are the sessions going, love?” Mum pulled up a chair beside me on the porch of Linc and Indie’s shack, wineglass in her fingers.
They’d just finished the speeches and were now in full party mode.
“Waste of time,” I said, nursing my now warm beer. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to celebrate, much less party. “They seem to make things worse, not better.”
“You look a little better today, though. Still tired, but not as bad as the other day. Are you sleeping?”
My lips pulled into a small smile. I only slept when Harper was beside me. “It comes and goes.”
I didn’t sleep last night at all. Tossed and turned all night. Images of Audrey played in my mind like a movie reel. The screams of her family echoed in my head as though I had a playlist on repeat. Therapy wasn’t working. Going to visit Audrey wasn’t helping. I’d slept for two nights in the past week and a half, and both times were only when Harper was there.
Harper helped.
But I hadn’t seen Harper since yesterday morning after almost getting caught by Brody sneaking her out. Thankfully, he was too tired to notice anything suspicious, but it was a close call. Particularly when he saw a woman in my bed. We had to be more careful.
I was watching her now, though. Down on the beach with Indie, Kenzie, and Bailey, all laughing at something. They looked so carefree and happy.
“Give the therapy
sessions some time. Who knows? It might surprise you.” Mum reached over and patted my knee encouragingly. “Anything else on your mind?”
I shook my head and pulled my gaze away from Harper to look at my mother.
“Really, Nate?”
I nodded. “Really.” I nodded again, just for assurance.
“Hmmm.” She pursed her lips and frowned, not buying the lie at all.
“I’m just getting bored. I want to get back to work. I hate sitting on my ass all day.” And I did. I wasn’t the type of person who could do mindless activities all day long. I enjoyed working. At least I did, before the fire.
“You don’t want to rush it, though. If you go back before you’re ready, you could make things worse, for yourself or your team.”
“I know. It just sucks.”
We were silent for a while, watching the waves crash against the shore in the moonlight. I was focused on Harper more than anything. On the way her laugh carried in the wind. On the way her hair blew in the ocean breeze, giving me a view of her neck, the skin so pale it glowed.
“Have you seen Audrey again?” my mother asked, interrupting my thoughts.
“Yesterday.” I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face.
“How is she?”
“Still bad. They expect her to wake soon. Brody wants to be there when she does. He visits her every day before his shift.”
“He’s a good man. So kind and caring. Would do anything to help a person out.”
“He would,” I agreed, and it made my stomach churn. He liked visiting Audrey. He was good at it. It didn’t bother him sitting there in silence with her. He’d taken to reading gossip magazines to her and playing music. Whereas I could barely stay in the room for longer than five minutes before it became too much.
He really was a good guy, and there I was lusting after his ex-girlfriend like a horny teenager. But I couldn’t help it. My gaze lifted to Harper again.
She was facing us, her phone pressed to one ear, and even from this distance, I could tell something was wrong. I sat forward, preparing to go to her if I thought she needed me. Needed me for what, I didn’t know. But she was pinching her bottom lip, and her eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.