by R. Linda
But Nate Kellerman wasn’t the guy I thought he was.
He was a liar.
A cheat.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes had dimmed, glazed over with tears. I turned the tap on and splashed my face with cold water, hoping to shock my system into recovery.
He wasn’t a cheat.
I couldn’t honestly call him that.
We weren’t in a relationship. We never were. We were just friends. He’d said it himself numerous times. I’d even tried to convince myself of it as well, but my fragile heart had other ideas, and look where that got me.
Slumped against the bathroom wall, trying not to cry over a guy who was “just a friend.”
I never would have expected him to do something so hurtful. If he wanted to date other women, he should have told me, not brought one into my home, parading her around like goddamn Miss Universe. He wouldn’t have to sneak her in and out of his house. Or kiss her in the shadows. He didn’t have to hide her behind the bed or lie about what he was doing when he was with her.
I could hear raised voices outside the bathroom door.
Uncle Johnny threatening to slice Nate open.
Nate arguing, pleading to get past. Past where? The door, in here? I scurried into a toilet stall and locked the door.
Brody wondering what the hell was going on. Why everyone was so worked up, and why I had run off like that.
“Harper,” Nate called.
“Leave. I mean it, kid,” Uncle Johnny seethed, most likely holding the meat cleaver at Nate’s throat…or crotch, deciding which to slice first.
“Not without speaking to her first,” Nate said before shouting through the closed door, “Harper! Talk to me. It’s not what you think.”
“What’s not what she thinks? What am I missing?”
Oh, god. Brody was going to find out.
“Johnny, please,” Nate begged.
Don’t let him in.
Don’t let him in.
I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want his pathetic excuses. I didn’t want to see the sad look in his eyes. Or his beautiful smile. Because that would be my undoing. One hopeful smile from him, and I would melt in a pool at his feet. And I couldn’t let that happen. I had to protect what was left of my heart. The small pile of dust it had become when he shattered it completely.
The bathroom door opened. Footsteps shuffled in. Lots of footsteps. I was still locked safely in the stall. He could try all he wanted to get me to open it, but I wouldn’t.
“Harper? You okay?” Brody asked quietly.
I groaned. Why couldn’t he have waited outside? This thing between Nate and me was over. There was no use in Brody finding out now. It would only needlessly hurt him.
“Go away.”
“Harper.” Nate banged on the door. “Talk to me. Come on.” He sighed. I heard a thump. It sounded like he banged his head on the door. “We’re so good at talking things through. Let me explain.”
Thump.
“Explain what?” Brody was getting agitated. Confused. And he wasn’t getting answers.
“I don’t care what you have to say.”
“You should, because I care. I care, Harper,” he murmured, the pain in his voice evident through the door.
My resolved weakened, and I approached the door.
“It’s not real…” Thump. “The date, I mean.”
I braced my hands on the door, leaning forward until my head touched the cool timber, much like how I imagined Nate would be standing on the other side. How could a date not be real?
“Indie. She tried to play matchmaker.”
Yeah, that sounded like Indie.
“She set us up. I thought…It doesn’t matter what I thought. Point is, I didn’t know. Not until it was too late.”
I paused. The bathroom was silent. He was set up. And he wasn’t the type of person to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. He was conned into a double date and did the right thing by Miss Universe and didn’t embarrass her.
But he embarrassed me. Made me feel like a complete fool.
“Can I tell you a story?”
Yes. I stayed silent.
Feet shuffled on the other side. Someone cleared their throat.
“I don’t—” Brody said, cut off by Johnny telling him to be quiet.
“I had a friend.” Nate’s voice was low and rough. “We were great friends. Kind of became close one night by accident, you know?”
I knew. I closed my eyes and listened to his rough voice.
“Anyway, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see my friend again after…that. But I did. For three months, I had a friend I couldn’t wait to see. Couldn’t wait to talk to. For three months, all I could think about was my friend. It was stupid and reckless, but I didn’t care. I loved spending time with them. We shouldn’t have been friends, but for whatever reason, we continued our friendship in secret.”
“I’m so confused,” Brody mumbled.
“But after a while, my friend didn’t want to be friends anymore. My friend told me we couldn’t…” he paused, thinking to of the right word, I guessed, “play together anymore. It wasn’t right. My friend was worried about getting in trouble and making our other friends jealous that we played together so much. So, I let my friend go. I promised myself that if not playing with me made my friend happy, then I’d be happy too. Harper?”
“I’m listening.” I could barely get the words out from the lump in my throat.
“But I wasn’t happy. I missed my friend. I missed playing together. I missed sneaking around. I just missed them. I was heartbroken. I never told my friend how I felt then, but I should have. I should have told my friend when we started playing in secret again three months later that they were the best thing that happened to me. They were my best friend.”
A tear rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away. He was my best friend too.
“Do you know why, Harper?”
My heart stuttered in my chest. Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Why?”
“Because if had told my friend before how much I cared for them, I wouldn’t be standing outside this door begging you to be my friend again. I wouldn’t be on my knees. I wouldn’t be asking you to play with me again and not keep it a secret. Screw the consequences. Will you be my friend, Harper?”
I had no resolve left. None. He broke me. Shattered. Completely.
Screw the consequences.
With trembling hands, I unlocked the door and stepped out. Nate scrambled to his feet—he really was on his knees begging—and a look of relief washed over his features.
I didn’t pay attention to anyone. The only person I could concentrate on was Nate. The way he pulled me into his arms. The way he wiped the tears from my eyes. Brushed his fingers through my hair. Cupped my face and said with a smile, “I am so in love with you, friend.”
My heart stopped, my knees gave out, but Nate’s strong arms held me as I processed all the things he’d said. All the things I hadn’t realised I was so desperate to hear.
“I’m in love with you too,” I whispered against his lips.
And then…the bathroom door slammed.
We both turned to look at the vacant space Brody had just occupied.
“Touching, really. All that friend talk. But I think you might have just pissed off another one,” Johnny said.
“Screw the consequences, right?” Nate asked, threading his fingers through mine.
“Screw everything.” I nodded.
He was totally worth the risk and the fall.
Nate kissed me quickly and chased after Brody.
“This really what you want?” Uncle Johnny asked.
“It is.” I smiled, even though Brody was out there hurting. I couldn’t help it; I was happy. Nate loved me.
“Okay, then.” Johnny wrapped an arm around my neck and kissed the top of my head. “You better get out there and make sure they don’t kill each other.” He chuckled as we left the bathroom.
“Co
me on. It won’t be that bad,” I scoffed. I knew Brody would be upset and angry, but he’d get over it. Right?
“You sure about that?” Johnny lifted the meat cleaver and pointed it in the direction of the parking lot.
“Shit.”
Brody and Nate were rolling around on the gravel, attracting the stares of the two guys filling up their cars with fuel.
“Come on,” Brody screamed and punched Nate in the face. “Fight back.”
But Nate didn’t. “I’m not fighting you.”
They scuffled. They swore. Brody threw a few more punches, and Nate let him. After a while, Brody stopped. He must have realised Nate was letting him beat the crap out of him because Brody was hurting. An eye for an eye.
Brody walked away to his car and kicked the tire. Getting in the car, he slammed the door and peeled out of the parking lot, leaving nothing but a cloud of dust and his bleeding cousin behind. I wanted to follow him, chase him and explain, but I knew better. He needed time.
“Up you get.” I held out my hands to help Nate up, but he pulled me down on top of him instead.
I laughed as he flipped me onto my back and ignored the pain of the gravel and stones digging into my skin. “What are you doing?”
“This.” He leaned in and kissed me. It was slow. Deep. Passionate.
I sighed in contentment and brushed his hair out of his face. His lip was bleeding. There was a cut above his eye, but other than that, he looked unharmed.
“We should get you cleaned up. You’re bloody and covered in dust.”
“I don’t think I can go home just yet.” Nate kissed my neck.
“True. Come upstairs with me.”
Once upstairs, I pushed him toward the bathroom and said, “Strip.”
His eyes flared, a fire burning behind them as he slowly, so slowly, began removing his clothes. He raised an eyebrow. “Now what?” His voice was thick and husky and so sexy. My insides liquified.
I turned the shower on and waved him in. He shook his head and stepped toward me. “Your turn,” he whispered in my ear.
I’d never really stripped for anyone before. Obviously, I took my clothes off, but it was usually rushed, frenzied as we pawed at each other, trying to get closer. I’d never actually stripped for Nate while he stood back and stared admiringly.
It was thrilling. Powerful. And so embarrassing. I was not sexy. At all. I fumbled with my shirt. Struggled to get my jeans unzipped. Almost tripped trying to pull them off. But Nate didn’t seem to notice. He watched with rapt attention, taking in every detail, every curve, every flaw on my body.
“I am luckiest fucking guy in the world to get to keep you,” he said and promptly picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist before he kissed me.
“You want to keep me?” I asked as he stepped us both under the spray of the shower and backed me into the wall.
“Right here.” His lips pressed into the crook of my neck. My now favourite spot for him to kiss. It never failed to send waves of delight through my body.
“Naked in the shower?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck as he moved my hips to align with his.
“In my arms. Forever.” He wanted me forever. My heart clenched, my body ached for him, and I couldn’t stop the cheesy smile from spreading across my face.
Forever.
“I’m okay with that.”
Our foreheads pressed together, he pushed his hips forward, sliding into me, drowning out my moan with one of his own. “Naked in the shower works too,” he breathed, bringing his mouth to mine.
Naked in the shower definitely worked.
We were so good at being friends. We played together really well. Perfectly. Amazingly.
Our tongues danced in sync with the increasing rhythm of our hips. Our hearts beat as one. Fast. Erratic. Hard. Until we pushed each other over the edge. Laboured breaths. Sloppy kisses. Heavy limbs. Happy. Content.
I was completely at his mercy, and I was okay with that.
“So, what now?” I asked after we’d finished our shower, wrapping a towel around my body. It took longer than it should because, you know, kissing. And Nate wanted to wash my hair. Which led to him washing my body. Which led to him getting distracted by my nakedness. Which in turn caused me to reciprocate.
Yeah, the shower lasted forever.
“Now, I take you on a date, friend.”
“A date?” I looked up at him with wide eyes and bit my lip excitedly.
He nodded and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Our first date?” I traced my fingers over his hard chest. The excitement was building rapidly. We’d not had a single date. How messed up was that?
He nodded again, his eyes sparkling. “In public.”
I squealed just a little, and he laughed, bringing his lips to mine.
Screw the consequences.
Epilogue
Nate
Turned out I really didn’t need therapy. I just needed Harper. I hadn’t had a nightmare for weeks. Her sleeping beside me every night was enough to quiet the sounds in my head. She brought peace and calm. We weren’t living together because we weren’t ready for that, but if she wasn’t at my place, I was staying at the roadhouse.
Brody moved out and into my parents’ house while he looked for his own place. It was either that or The Love Shack, and I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to stay there. I also didn’t blame him for leaving. It was understandable, given the circumstances. He couldn’t live in the same apartment where his ex-girlfriend spent most of her time when she wasn’t at the roadhouse. I felt guilty for the way things happened, and I knew it was hard for him to see us together, but I also knew in time he’d move on and get over it.
We weren’t as close as we once were. Things were tense, and quite often he’d avoid any social situations if Harper and I were there. He still hung out with Linc and Ryder and threw himself into work. When he wasn’t working, he spent all his time at the hospital with Audrey, and I visited her when he wasn’t there.
My parents went and visited her frequently, spending time with her, getting to know her, and allowing her to get comfortable with them. It was awkward at first, and she didn’t understand why they were coming to see her so often, but I could tell from the tiny sparkle in her eyes that she enjoyed the company.
After Christmas, we all went in together, and my parents told her they’d like for her to come and live with them, and let them give her the family and support she needed. It was an emotional day. Tears everywhere. Sad tears. Happy tears. And while Audrey was hesitant and unsure, Brody reassured her that no matter what, her family could never be replaced. She was just getting a second family who would love her as much as her own. He promised her she wouldn’t be alone.
“Will you relax?” I grabbed Mum by the shoulders and forced her into an arm chair.
“What if she doesn’t like the room? What if she hates the house? What if she hates us?” She sucked in a panicked breath and stood again.
“It will be okay. Just give her time.”
Audrey was moving in today. Brody had gone with my dad to pick her up from the hospital, while Indie and I stayed home to help Mum prepare for her arrival.
“Drink this. It’ll calm your nerves.” Indie handed Mum a glass of wine.
“Indiana. It is ten in the morning. I am not day drinking,” she said with a stern voice, nonetheless accepting the wine and gulping half of it down.
Indie smirked. “Better.”
“I’m just so worried. It is going to be a big adjustment for all of us.”
“We’ll get through it together. Don’t worry.” I squeezed her shoulder gently and sat on the coffee table in front of her.
Audrey had a long way to go to recover fully, and I wasn’t sure she would ever completely get over what happened. She was going to need more skin grafts, more surgeries, and a hell of a lot of therapy to help her deal with her emotions, but if anyone could work through it with her and be there for her, it was ou
r parents.
The front door opened, and Dad walked in first. Mum launched out of the chair and stood on the threshold of the living room, tears in her eyes as Brody escorted Audrey up the front porch and into the foyer. It was a slow process. She was still in pain, her movements slow and jerky from the tightness of her skin grafts. Her head was down, and she had her arm hooked through Brody’s.
“Hi, Audrey,” Mum said with a soft smile, discreetly wiping a tear as it slid down her cheek. “Welcome home.”
Audrey didn’t speak. She simply nodded once.
Mum frowned in disappointment but quickly pushed the feeling aside.
“Let’s show you to your room. Shall we?”
No reaction. Just a small step closer to Brody.
“Come on,” he said quietly. “It’s okay.”
The poor girl. I was surprised she was doing so well, to be honest. No way could I have moved in with a family I didn’t know. The bitterness and resentment I would feel at losing my own would send me spiralling out of control.
Brody led her down the hall and into my father’s study. We’d decided it would be easier for Audrey if she didn’t have to walk up and down the stairs all the time to get to her room.
“I wasn’t sure what sort of things you liked, or what your favourite colour is, so I kept it white and grey and added a few feminine touches, a little bit of pink and mint. I hope that’s okay?” my mother prattled on nervously.
Indie rolled her eyes.
I was positive the last thing Audrey cared about was the décor in her new room.
“We also filled the closet with clothes for you. I wasn’t sure what your style was,” she said, opening the closet. Again, I doubted Audrey cared about clothes in that moment, but I knew my mother meant well. “The doctors suggested to keep things light and loose so it didn’t…it didn’t hurt your…well, anyway, if you don’t like them or you don’t like your room, we can always change it to suit you. That’s not a problem.” Mum took a deep breath and clasped her hands together in front.
Audrey was still staring at her feet. Still huddled against Brody. “What do you think?” he asked.
A nod. That was it. I guessed it was better than no response at all.