by Chad Morris
“Now, garbage, quick.”
“Okay. Okay.”
It only took a minute before I heard my name. “Hey, Maddie,” Cassie said. “Come help me with something.” She had probably noticed that I was closest. I turned. Did she know I’d been listening? Even if she did, I wanted to tell her no. Though I was curious about what I had just heard, I wasn’t sure if I should be mad at her yet. Getting the garbage wasn’t the worst job, and it would give me a chance to ask her if she had invited Lexi or not. If she hadn’t invited Lexi I’d be ticked.
“Okay,” I said.
Once I was out of the water, I remembered that my swimsuit was getting faded and small. In the water, it was probably less noticeable. But now that I was walking next to Cassie, whose suit had a frilly skirt attached and matching straps, I’m sure it looked ridiculous. Cassie’s must have been a new trend. The tropical colors were bright, and it looked like it was from a movie or something.
Soon we were circling the house by the garage, leaving a trail of drips from the pool. “My mom is making me grab the garbage,” she said. “Moms can be so crazy.”
I really wanted to ask why Cassie shouldn’t be throwing the party, why she had to get fifty dollars for a doll, and where her dad was, but I didn’t.
“Yeah,” I said. “But your mom seems nice.”
“Not really,” Cassie said. She grabbed one handle of the garbage can, and I grabbed the other. “We have to end the party right at seven thirty because she has a date with some guy who drives a Hummer.” Somewhere in my brain I knew what a Hummer was, but I kept picturing some guy driving a car that was actually humming. But why would Cassie’s mom be going on a date, anyway? Where was Cassie’s dad? Oh, had he gone? Like divorce-gone? Or separated?
We pulled the garbage down the walkway, which was lined with all sorts of fun plants. It really was a pretty yard. “She went on a date last weekend,” Cassie said, “but Mom said he wasn’t worth the trouble.”
I wondered what it would be like to live in Cassie’s home, where you shouldn’t have parties, your dad wasn’t around, your mom had dates with humming guys, and you had to get fifty dollars for dolls. I think I would really miss my dad.
But I still had a question to ask. A question that was bothering me. “Hey, Cassie,” I said. “Is Lexi coming?”
Yep. I asked it. I was growing braver and braver all the time.
Cassie looked at me for a moment. “I don’t think so. She said she had to do something else.”
“But you invited her, right?”
I asked that one too.
She smiled. “Of course.” She sounded convincing, but I didn’t know if I believed her. We had pulled the garbage a few feet away from the snacks. “That’s good,” she said, brushed her hands off, and led the way back to the pool. When we got there, she jumped into the water.
I was going to ask Lexi on Monday and find out the truth. And if Cassie hadn’t asked her, I was going to be super-steam-coming-out-the-top-of-my-head mad. But if Cassie had asked her, I was being upset for no reason. I didn’t know how to feel.
I was glad to get back into the pool. I swam back toward Yasmin.
“Let’s race,” Coby said, probably louder than he needed to. “Like a relay. Boys against girls.”
Everyone quickly agreed, and we all started lining up. Some of the boys even started to stretch, like they were getting into show-off mode. They thought they were all hotshots, but they were going to go down.
“Wait,” Cassie said. “Maybe let’s have a few sit out.”
“Why?” Cody asked.
“Like, maybe Maddie doesn’t want to go,” Cassie said.
“I’ll go,” I said, swimming closer.
“Yeah, but,” Cassie said, and pointed. They were all watching me swim. All of a sudden, every move I made felt super awkward. I tried really hard to use my left arm, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t working.
“It’s because of the tumor,” I explained, “but I like to pretend that a giant orca bit my left side, and I’m trying to swim to safety.” I stopped and treaded water. “And there it is.” I pointed behind Cassie at Coby. “It’s a huge killer whale, and it’s going to bite your toes right off. Get out of there!” I screamed the last part and everyone dove into the water to swim away.
Coby totally played along. Everyone was swimming away from him, splashing and laughing, and he chased after them.
“And it’s not just any orca,” I yelled. “It’s the dreaded Orcalops, the one-eyed monstrosity of the deep.”
Devin and a few others laughed at that, and Coby even closed one eye. He was slapping his arms out in front of him like they were giant jaws. And he almost had Hannah.
“That’s not funny, Maddie,” Cassie said.
“I thought it was funny,” Jackson said.
“Me too,” Devin said.
I liked having the boys around. Maybe they weren’t so weird.
“I mean, it was funny,” Cassie said quickly, like she’d changed her mind for some reason. “It just surprised me.”
“That’s why it was funny,” Devin said, talking louder over all the splashing.
Cassie smiled big, but then looked at me. I could tell her eyes were on fire and she was super upset with me. She swam closer.
“You are ruining my party,” she whisper-yelled at me, just like her mom had done to her.
How could I be ruining the party when everyone was having fun? Plus, I wasn’t sure I trusted Cassie right now. I really wished Lexi had come. I think she would have liked my game. And the boys reacted so well to my jokes.
“Maybe I’m not ruining your party,” I said. And I actually said it. I looked at everyone else. “Watch out for Orcalops!” I pointed at Coby again.
Almost immediately he smiled and raised his arms to look like giant jaws.
Cassie glared at me.
I smiled back.
“Did Cassie invite you to her swim party?” I asked Lexi as we walked out of Mrs. Baer’s class for our first recess. I had wanted to ask her sooner, but her bus had been late to school.
Lexi looked at me, confused, for a few moments. “No,” she said. “Why?”
No.
And not only had Cassie not invited Lexi, but she had lied to my face telling me that she had. Oh, I was mad. Yep. Steam-popping-out-of-my-head mad. Cassie used me and then lied to me. Now I was glad I hadn’t listened to her and kept playing Orcalops.
“I told her that she should invite you to a swim party,” I said to Lexi. “And she told me she would.”
Lexi smiled. That seemed weird while I was so mad. “That’s so sweet of you.” Then she shrugged. “But I’m not surprised Cassie didn’t come through.”
Something inside me clicked. I didn’t really care anymore if Cassie liked me. Not at all. My surgery was coming up, and I didn’t know how long I would be around. And I didn’t want to be part of her games anymore.
“C’mon,” I said, grabbing Lexi’s hand. I pulled her right over to where Cassie was walking around the path with several other girls. Lexi pulled back a little. I could tell she didn’t want to go, but I was pretty determined.
“We’re a little busy,” Cassie said before I even opened my mouth. She could probably tell I was upset. “Maybe in a little—”
“Maybe now,” I said. This wasn’t in my imagination or anything. True story. “I came over to say that I’ve been hanging out with Lexi more and more since you haven’t been letting me hang out with you, and she’s awesome. And I want to play with her whenever I can. She’s super fun. We already survived crossing the Sahara together.” I got some weird looks at that, but they were followed by smiles. Especially by Yasmin. “Anyone who wants to come hang out with us is welcome. And today we’re trying out something new and awesome. It’s a game.” I didn’t even know what I was saying, but I was mad and I
wanted to make sure I invited everyone to do something other than get wrapped up in Cassie’s lies and tricks. I had to make up a game name fast, and it had to sound good. “It’s called Poison Dragon Death Claw,” I said. Not bad.
“What is that?” Hannah asked.
“You can come over to find out,” I said. Was I stupid? Was this all a strange symptom of my tumor? Well, maybe it was okay. Maybe someone needed to stand up to Cassie.
“I’ll play,” Yasmin said. “I love Maddie’s weird imagination.” She took a step toward us.
My heart pounded faster. It was actually working. I looked at the other girls.
Nope.
No one else came. Maybe they thought they were too mature for a game. Maybe they only wanted to walk and talk. Or maybe they were all trying to impress Cassie. But having Yasmin with me made it feel like a victory. So Lexi and Yasmin and I walked over to stand under the biggest pine tree. I looked back over my shoulder, and yep, Cassie was definitely watching us as her group continued on the path. She wasn’t staring all the time, but I caught her glancing over more than once.
“Okay,” I said, “this is how you play the game.” I didn’t really know what I was going to say. But before I started, I saw some fifth graders passing by. “Hey, guys,” I waved them down. “Do you want to play Poison Dragon Death Claw with us?” They looked at each other for a moment. “It’s super fun. Try it.”
Thankfully, they agreed. Whatever the game I was about to make up, with Cassie watching, it would look better with more people playing. “Okay, so I’m the dragon.” Yeah. That was a good start. “I go to the middle between this tree and that one.” I pointed across the field. Ideas were coming to my mind just a second before I said them. I was really glad I had practiced using my imagination a lot. “And you guys have all come into my lair to rescue the prince I took captive.”
“Don’t dragons usually capture princesses?” one of the fifth graders asked.
“Nope,” I said. “Most dragons like princes better. It’s a little-known fact.” I smiled.
One of the fifth graders looked at me like I was describing how to watch television or eat chicken nuggets.
“Anyway, I like to give people who come into my lair a chance before I eat them or touch them with my poison claw.” I raised my finger like it was a claw. “So I’ll give you a category, like colors or seasons or kinds of pizza.”
“Pizza?” Yasmin said.
“Yep,” I said. “Most dragons love pizza—another little-known fact. They like princes and pizza. And then all of you have to think of something in that category. So if it was pizza, you could think of pepperoni pizza, or Hawaiian, or the works.”
“Okay, then what?” Lexi said.
“Then I start guessing types of pizza. If I guess yours, you have to try to get to the other tree. If you make it without me touching you, you’re safe and I won’t eat you. But that means everyone else has to try to make it to that side as well. And if I touch any of you with my poison claw”—I wiggled my finger—“then you become a dragon, too, and you have to help me get everyone else.”
Yasmin clapped. “Okay, let’s start.” I was pretty sure she was acting extra excited because she was my friend, but I was grateful for it.
“Let’s start with pizzas,” I said and waited until everyone had picked one. “Barbeque Chicken,” I called out. No one ran. “Pepperoni,” I said. One of the fifth graders ran toward the other side of the field. She was faster than I thought she would be. Plus, I was slower. She made it. Then everyone else made it. No one got Poison Dragon Death Clawed. I didn’t really even come close.
But they were all smiles.
After three more rounds, I finally tagged Lexi. I think she let me. But then we got everyone else.
Then Lexi had to start as the dragon. We played a few more rounds until the bell.
I was so glad everyone was laughing and talking as we went back into class. I knew Cassie was watching.
Mountains passed beneath me. Pyramids. The ocean. And I felt the movement of going up over the peaks and down by the water. Locked in and holding tight, I was hang gliding over the Great Wall of China.
And this wasn’t my imagination.
Okay, just a little bit.
It was a ride in Disneyland. Well, actually in California Adventure, the other Disney park close to Disneyland. I sat in this chair that moved in front of a giant screen, and it totally felt like I was flying over different parts of the world.
Awesome.
I went from ride to ride with my family. Then, in the afternoon, my parents let me and Christopher go off together, ride whatever we wanted, and meet back for dinner. Everyone was so happy, and my dad took all sorts of pictures: me with Christopher, me with Daisy Duck, me with the twins both sticking out their tongues, me with some princesses, me and my mom eating Dole Whips.
Mmm. Dole Whips.
Sooner than I wanted, we were back in the condo we had rented, crashing for the night. At least we still had two more days of the vacation. Away from school. Away from problems with Cassie. And especially away from neurosurgeons.
But even with all the running around all day, I couldn’t fall asleep. And even with all the good memories I’d just made, I kept thinking about my tumor. I lay in my bed and tried to think about anything else. Tried to make myself fall asleep. Tried not to worry about the monster coming for me. Had it gotten bigger? Sprouted spikes like ax blades down its spine?
No. I didn’t want to think about it.
I tried to sleep for a long time.
Maybe during the surgery, the doctors would tap into a special part of my brain that would give me superpowers for real. Like I’d be able to move stuff with my mind and see the future.
Or maybe I wouldn’t.
I yawned, but didn’t feel close at all to actually falling asleep. I thought about my friends. I reviewed all of my lines as Juliet. Then I tried to remember all of Romeo’s lines, too. I pictured Devin in different colored mustaches.
And then my door opened. I made sure my eyes were closed. I didn’t want my parents knowing that I wasn’t sleeping. I peeked the tiniest bit through my eyelashes. There was just enough light coming in from the hallway that I could see.
My dad. He had probably been staying up late, trying to get his work done. At this point, the book was ready, but he had to work on marketing. He was answering questions for interviews and doing a bunch of social media stuff to help people find out about his book.
I don’t think he was planning on sleeping much. But with all the work he had to do, why was he in my bedroom?
He stood over me for a second and knelt down beside my bed. He lightly put his hand on my arm. I could tell he was trying not to wake me.
And then he bowed his head.
He was like that for a long time.
A really long time.
My heart filled. If it was one of those huge reservoirs, it was overflowing, flooding over.
And he stayed there.
I was starting to wonder if he had fallen asleep when he sniffled. A few minutes later, he stood up. Then he slowly left the room.
I put my hand where my dad’s head had been. Wet. Tears. I know it’s going to sound stupid, but I put my finger in it and then touched my head. Maybe that was it. Maybe they were magic tears and could heal my tumor. Maybe they would work.
“Can’t sleep?” I heard my mom ask.
I was busted.
Wait. Nope. She was talking to my dad. “Just getting some more work done,” he said. He had left the door open between our rooms, so I could hear them pretty well.
“Well, this vacation is fantastic,” Mom said. “Everyone is having a great time.”
“Yeah,” Dad said. “Now we just need my book to do well so I can actually pay for it.”
I didn’t realize that we didn’t re
ally have the money for the trip.
“But it’s worth it,” my mom said. “We need this.”
“I agree,” he said. “And even if something goes wrong, we’ll have good memories and a lot of pictures.”
Though my heart was still full like a reservoir, it grew stormy and wavy. That’s why he’d been taking so many pictures—in case I died or I got brain damage or something. That way they could remember this good time. Remember me. I hadn’t even thought of that.
“Do you . . .” my mom started to say, but then stopped. She took in a deep breath and then started again. “Do you worry much that we might lose her?”
My dad sniffled. “Yeah. I’ve got to believe that good stuff is coming, that we will be blessed, but I worry. All the time.” For some reason, hearing that my mom and dad were worried hurt a little. They had taught me so often that I had to think about the good, the positive, but in a strange way, it also helped to hear that they were scared, too. It felt normal. At least a little.
“I wake up sometimes,” Mom said, “when you go into her room. Do you do that every night?”
“Every night,” he whispered back. I had no idea. I guess there were lots of little tear puddles that had happened that I hadn’t noticed. “I just like to see her. Make sure she’s okay. It’s a lot for a little girl to handle.” He sniffled. “And I pray.”
“Me too,” Mom said. “Me too.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do if we lose her.” My dad’s voice was soft.
I felt squishy inside. Really squishy. And terrified.
Even Disneyland wasn’t going to fix that.
“Here you go,” I said and gave Lexi a card. Then Yasmin. Then lots of others. I had made a bunch of cards on the long car ride home from Disneyland. On the front of the card was a little black mustache on a pink piece of paper. Above the mustache was the letter I, and beneath it were the words you a question. Get it? I “mustache” you a question. Pretty awesome, huh? I didn’t make it up, though. It’s written on one of the magnets I have.
On the inside of the card, I wrote, How did I ever get as good of a friend as you? That was the question I needed to ask. That part I did make up. Then I signed it.