by Anna Abner
The situation came rushing back, all of the repercussions. The Dark Caster’s cabal had taken over Derek’s property to open a Chaos Gate. And then the bastards had put a demon inside the girl he loved.
Not caring who watched or what they might think, he pulled Jessa flush to his chest and looped his arms around her. Tight. Maybe painfully tight. But he couldn’t ease off when all he saw when he closed his eyes was Jessa possessed. Stifling a panicked sob, he hid his face in her hair.
“You’re shaking.” Her soft hands slid up and down his bare back. “What’s wrong?”
He tried to say, I thought I lost you, but the words wouldn’t come.
Eventually, a chair scraped across the tile floor and someone cleared their throat. Derek reluctantly pulled away just enough to see into Jessa’s eyes.
Everything about her seemed genuine. Everything from the tone of her voice to the expression on her face to her overall body language. She was real. Safe and healthy and real.
Jessa stroked his face, and then glanced worriedly at the people around them. “It happened.” Tears welled up, turning her green eyes into reflective glass. “Didn’t it.”
“It’s all over now,” he said.
“I was a demon.”
“You weren’t yourself,” Derek concurred. “But we cast the demon out. Don’t worry,” he said, pulling her toward the door, “it won’t bother you again. Come on,” he waved her ahead of him, “we need to talk.”
Just because the cabal had raised the second pillar and the possession was broken didn’t mean he and Jessa were out of danger. It would be like the Dark Caster to keep attacking them in new and surprising ways.
“Wait, before you leave,” Rebecca called. “What happens next? How do they raise the final pillar?”
Several pairs of worried eyes met his, waiting for answers.
“The third pillar must be a sacrifice,” Derek said, taking no joy in the knowledge.
“What kind of sacrifice?”
He clenched his jaw for a moment. “A death sacrifice. Paul will murder an innocent person to open the gate.”
“Who?” Daniela demanded.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “It could be one of us. It could be a random stranger.” He urged Jessa out the door where rain pelted at them through their clothes.
“How do we stop it?” someone shouted after him.
He couldn’t think of a good answer. His mind was chugging through over two decades of memories, most of them awful, and he couldn’t pinpoint specific facts anymore.
“I don’t know,” was all he said, hurrying for the car, texting as he went.
Derek got Jessa to her apartment building. He turned off the BMW’s engine, but didn’t move to leave the safety of the spelled vehicle.
“Something’s wrong with you,” Jessa guessed. “Tell me what happened.”
Perceptive of her to see his pain when he was doing his best to conceal it from her.
“You didn’t pull the demon into yourself, did you?” she asked worriedly.
“No. Holden released my memories,” he said. “All of them.”
She sat back against the seat and clenched her hands together. “I thought your speech was different again.”
“I remember everything,” he said. “The good and the bad and everything in between.”
“You don’t seem very happy about it.”
She was right. He didn’t want to think about the things he’d done. So, he turned his attention onto Jessa. “What do you remember about today?”
She sent him a look that let him know she was aware of his change of topic. “I remember the fight at your house, and then…” Her eyes clouded over.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he assured. “You were mostly asleep. When you weren’t, you were restrained to your bed. You didn’t hurt anybody, if you’re worried.”
“I knew you’d take care of me.” She reached for his hand, but he snatched it away a second before they touched. She retracted, only to cross her arms tight to her belly. “Will the demon ever come back?” she asked quietly.
“It’s gone. It won’t bother you again.” He shifted his weight in order to exit the car, but her hand on his thigh stalled him.
“Don’t go, yet,” she said. “What’s wrong? Are your memories really that bad?”
Yes.
Slowly, he eased back inside the vehicle. He couldn’t possibly confess all his crimes, but maybe he could put her mind at ease over a small sin he’d committed against her.
“Jessa,” he began, “I remember our first kiss.”
Her eyes met his, and it was obvious they were remembering the same moment in time.
“Right,” she said. “The awkward one.”
“I didn’t kiss you back,” he admitted, fiddling with the steering wheel, “because I was already working with Paul by then, and I knew how dangerous it would be for anyone close to me. Because I’m no good, Jessa. I’m a waste of space. And if I let myself kiss you—and I really wanted to kiss you—then I’d be putting you in danger, and I can’t stand the thought of you in danger.”
“Then why did you kiss me the first time you showed up at my door?” she asked, her face flushing a pretty shade of pink. “Why didn’t you just stay in Alaska?”
He didn’t say, Because I care about you. It might only give her hope where none existed. “I couldn’t remember much,” he answered instead. “I can’t behave that way anymore. It’s not fair to you.”
“I’m not accepting that,” she said, as if it were so simple. “I care about you. And you care about me. There’s no reason to pretend otherwise.”
“It’s not that I don’t—”
“Everything’s going to work out.”
“My God,” he burst out. “Do you hear yourself? ‘Everything will work out.’ You sound ridiculous. Is your sister dying young ‘working out’? Is you getting possessed by a demon ‘working out’? Is the Dark Caster trying to kill us everything working out?”
“You don’t have to yell,” she snapped. “I can hear you fine.” She got out and slammed the door.
Unfortunately, he had to follow her upstairs. He couldn’t leave her alone until they solved the Chaos Gate problem.
She did not look happy to see him when he pushed through the front door.
“For someone who doesn’t want to be with me,” she grouched, “you sure do hang around a lot.”
He closed the front door with slightly more force than he intended, but it worked to catch her attention. “I almost lost you tonight,” he said. “And the only reason you were in danger at all is because of me. Because you used to be my friend—”
“Used to be?”
“—and Paul wants to hurt me,” he finished. “So, you can’t yell at me about wanting to keep you safe when every bad thing that’s ever happened to you is because of me!”
“I’m not yelling at you,” she shouted, and then caught herself. “I’m not yelling,” she repeated in a calmer voice.
“I’m the bad guy,” he began, thinking of ways to say it plainly and with finality.
“I know who you are,” she returned sharply. “I knew you before your ‘accident’ and I knew you after. You weren’t a bad person.”
When he started to argue, she rushed right over him. “You were confused, angry, condescending, and craving the respect of the powerful people around you, but you have never been evil. I know that in the depths of my soul.”
No, she had too much faith in him. He didn’t deserve half her confidence.
“Now, you listen to me,” she said, invading his personal space before he could argue. “If you were an evil person you wouldn’t have come home to protect me because there wasn’t anything in it for you. Except trouble. And an evil person wouldn’t have stayed with me after I was possessed or tried to help me. Because it doesn’t benefit you in any way. It’s selfless, which is something an evil person would never be.”
Derek started to shake, a
slight quiver in his hands that roamed up both arms. He clenched both fists, overwhelmed by even the whiff of hope he might someday be a decent man.
He exhaled. “I’m afraid.” Terrified, in fact.
“Me too,” she said. “I’m afraid that you’re going to run away again without saying good-bye. And, believe it or not,” she chuckled derisively, “I’ve enjoyed the last few days more than any other in the last four months, combined.”
He had, too, but he was frightened. Scared he’d ruin Jessa the same way he ruined everything else. “I wouldn’t leave without saying good-bye.”
“You have before,” she countered. “And I notice you didn’t say, ‘I’m not leaving.’”
Leaving was the smartest, safest thing he could do. If he possessed an ounce of honor, he’d leave her in Holden’s care and fly straight back to Alaska where he couldn’t hurt her anymore.
But the tiniest spark of hope kept him rooted to the spot. “Do you want me to stay?” he breathed.
“Yes.”
“But if Paul catches you, he’ll torture you in front of me. And then he’ll stop my heart.”
“So, we kill him first.”
He opened his mouth to argue when a loud knock sounded at the front door.
* * *
“Derek?” Jessa called softly, staring expectantly at the door. She couldn’t imagine anyone friendly pounding on her door.
“It’s just me.” Holden’s deep voice reverberated through the wood.
“Is something wrong?” Jessa asked, glancing from the door to Derek. “Did something happen?”
“Don’t be scared,” Derek said. “I asked him to come.”
His tone wasn’t comforting in the least. “We’ll finish this conversation later,” she stressed, and then opened the door. With each step, her anxiety intensified. Derek hated Holden. He wouldn’t have invited him over without a very big reason.
“Come in,” she said, closing the door behind him. “Everything okay?”
Derek said, “It’s about what happened to you today. Holden will explain—”
Oh, for crying out loud. “No,” she snapped. “I want to hear it from you. What happened?” God, how bad was it? What had she done that he was too afraid to tell her without reinforcements?
“You were touched by the other side,” Derek said, lines appearing around his mouth. She wanted to close the distance between them and wrap her arms around him, but she held back waiting for his explanation.
“Have you seen or heard anything unusual since you got home?” Holden asked.
The way they both stared at her made her feel vulnerable and slightly unhinged. She didn’t remember much of the day. Some screaming. A little blood. Pain. But nothing that made sense. It seemed like a blessing to forget.
“No.” Of course not. “Why would you ask me that?”
“You’re a necromancer,” Derek said.
The words rocked her. Never, in all the chaos of the fight or the confusion waking afterwards had she considered how much the experience had changed her.
“That’s not possible.” She tipped to the right, dizzy, and threw out a hand to catch herself.
Derek was there, holding her up. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “Just breathe.”
“What does this mean?” In all their conversations about magic and ghosts, Derek hadn’t fully prepared her for this moment.
“Holden is going to explain—”
“No,” she said, burrowing into his chest and taking strength from his solid form. “I want you to explain it.” If she couldn’t hide from this mess neither could he.
“I’m going to call Becca,” Holden said. “Let me know if you need me.” He disappeared into the kitchen.
“I’m not ready.” Jessa sank onto the edge of the sofa, thinking it had only been days since she’d searched the cushions with Esmeralda for a remote control, and now she was contemplating casting magic. Her mind spinning, she dropped her head into both hands.
“It’s okay to be scared,” Derek said, his voice suddenly nearer than she expected. She lifted her face and found him kneeling before her. “But with only one sacrifice between us and an open Chaos Gate, you have to know how to protect yourself.”
She pictured Paul bursting into flames, but it was horrific, not exciting. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“I’m going to teach you my shield spell so you won’t get hurt.”
A shield spell. Yeah. That was doable. “How?” She leaned forward to stand, but he placed his hands on her knees.
“I’m so proud of you.” His warm breath ruffled the hair around her face. He gave her a long look. A heated look. The kind of look that said he was thinking of things other than magic.
Screw it. They were probably going to die, and even if they survived, he was soon putting the width of a continent between them. Jessa blinked once, and then fell upon him, flattening her chest against his. His mouth was warm and inviting upon hers, and her eyes fluttered closed.
Holden cleared his throat.
Derek tried to wiggle free, but she held him tight.
“Looks like you have this covered,” Holden said. “I’ll see you two later.” He slipped out the door, closing it with a quiet click of the lock.
Fisting her hands in his shirt, she leaned in for another kiss.
“Jolie, I know,” Derek said.
At the mention of her sister’s name, any desire she’d felt blew away in the wind.
“What did she say?” Jessa asked, fearful of the answer.
“You can’t hear her?” he asked.
She stood up and paced to the kitchen and back. “Should I?”
“I don’t know.” He stood too. “Maybe it takes a while for made necromancers.”
It felt like her skin shrank two sizes. “I’m so uncomfortable with this.”
Derek eased into her personal space and clasped her hands, holding them tenderly between their bodies. “I’m right here,” he said. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“Okay.” She inhaled deeply. “What happens now?”
“The room is a spell circle, and your sister is sending you power. All you have to do is feel it.”
She felt itchy and self-conscious, but she knew that’s not what he meant. “What does it feel like?” she asked.
“Like an electrical current.” He released her hands to wrap both arms snugly around her waist.
Drawn to his warmth, she laid her ear against his chest and a muffled thumping vibrated through her, easing the tension in her shoulders. She closed her eyes.
Derek’s voice was a rumble. “It starts as a tingle in your fingers and toes.”
She definitely felt tingly, but she wasn’t certain it was due to magic.
“Let it spread up your arms and legs and settle in your belly.”
Jessa exhaled slowly, picturing lightning bolts traveling up her legs. Her abdomen hummed.
“Focus it into a sphere of light,” he said.
Jessa squirmed as the tickle in her tummy intensified. She clenched her thighs together, but it only made the ache worse.
“As you say ‘tego’ imagine the light expanding like a soap bubble, big enough to cover your whole body.”
Jessa had her doubts they were experiencing the same sensations, but she did as he asked, and said, “Tego,” simply hoping for relief.
“Jessa?”
She opened her eyes.
“You’re a natural,” he marveled, giving her a squeeze.
She squinted at the hazy bubble surrounding both her and Derek. It didn’t seem real, but her eyes weren’t deceiving her. “I did that?”
His gaze dipped to her mouth. She forgot all about magic, and kissed him.
He moaned against her lips, and she inhaled the sound and taste of him. He was beautiful and strong and maybe a little nuts, yeah, but he kissed like no one else. She lost herself in the swirl of his tongue and the warmth of his body as they melded together.
He bent and, with an arm around her waist, lifted her off her feet.
“I missed you,” he whispered as he carried her into the bedroom. “I thought about you every day I was gone.”
“I wish you hadn’t left,” she agreed.
He lowered her to her messy bed and removed her shoes. “I was scared,” he admitted. “I thought if I stayed, the Dark Caster would either kill me or convince me to return to the cabal. I just wanted to be somewhere safe and quiet.”
“Were you happy in Alaska?” She wiggled her jeans down her legs.
“No.” He stared at her polka-dot panties for a moment as if lost for words. “It was lonely. I was only happy when I was building my house.”
“You were building your own house?” she exclaimed, surprised he’d want to do something so physical.
He nodded, his eyes still on her panties. Then he blinked. “It was the greatest thing I have ever done.”
“Did you finish it?”
“No.”
A pang of sympathy hit her. “I know you didn’t want to come home,” she said. “But I’m glad you did.”
“I’d do anything for you.”
He stood over her half-clothed body and soaked in the sight of her for long, silent moments. As if she were a piece of exquisite sculpture he couldn’t fully grasp.
She squirmed nervously, afraid he didn’t like what he saw.
But then she realized it wasn’t disgust keeping him frozen in place. He was shaking.
Jessa sat up and cupped both his hands in hers. They quivered against her palms, and she squeezed. “What’s wrong?”
With a quiet exhale, she pushed to her feet, her breasts brushing his chest. Her kiss was soft and searching at first, but rising on tiptoe, it turned eager.
Moaning, he suckled wetly at her lower lip. His teeth grazed her jaw and then her collarbone.
Jessa dug her fingers into his tense shoulders. And then she was airborne as he lifted her off her feet and threw her upon the bed. She giggled as the mattress bounced.
Derek, though, was deadly serious as he fell to his knees and wedged his chest between her thighs. His hands rubbed coarse circles upon her thighs and his eyes flashed dangerously before he dipped his mouth to the slice of skin between her panties and the hem of her T-shirt. He licked a long, long line, and her hips bucked.