by Donya Lynne
“Right now?” Karma said, glancing toward the conference room. “I was right in the middle of—”
“Gawd!” Jolene sighed and rolled her eyes as if Karma were the stupidest person on the planet. “I thought you could multitask, Karma. But if it’s too much for your little brain to handle, I’ll just tell Jake—”
“No. Just give me a second.” Karma minimized the expense report application and opened the folder of quarterlies.
Old memories of Jolene picking on her at school crept into her mind, along with all the old feelings of inadequacy, failure, and shame. Karma may have gotten a haircut, she might be wearing new clothes, and for the first time in her life a hot man wanted to go out with her, but that didn’t mean that everything had changed just-like-that. She couldn’t expect to snap her fingers and let go of the past as easily as she’d let go of six inches of hair and a bad wardrobe. Some pains ran too deep to dismiss without a fight, and right now, Karma’s miserable childhood memories were definitely fighting back. As if no matter what she did, she couldn’t shed the past, or the sinking feelings of inadequacy. Her younger self cowered in her mind against Jolene’s vicious onslaught. Would Karma ever be able to let go of the past and set her bruised, younger ego free?
“Today would be nice,” Jolene quipped then huffed out an exasperated sigh.
Karma dug up the soft copies of the last batch of quarterly reports then pulled a hard copy from her files. “Here.” She handed the spiral-bound booklet to Jo without looking at her. If she did, Jo would see the tears stinging the backs of her eyes and tease her even more. “I’ll e-mail you the soft copies.”
“Good.” Jo snatched the booklet out of Karma’s hand and strutted away.
After Jo was gone, Karma pushed away from her desk and darted to the bathroom, where she spent the next five minutes huddled in the handicapped stall crying. Damn it! Just…DAMN IT! She knocked the side of her fist against the wall. Why did she let Jolene get to her? If Jolene would do her own damn work, she wouldn’t need to come and interrupt Karma’s day and turn her inside out. That’s what Karma should have said to Jo. She should have gotten in Jo’s face and told her that from now on, she could do those damn quarterly reports herself. Who did Jo think she was, getting snarky with Karma when running quarterlies wasn’t technically Karma’s job? If anyone had a right to be angry, it was Karma. She did her job and she did Jo’s, but did she get any thanks for saving Jo’s ass on an almost daily basis. Hell no.
God, when was she going to put her foot down and tell Jo to do her own damn job if she wasn’t grateful for the help?
Karma frowned and batted the tears off her cheeks.
And what business was it of Jolene’s whether or not she got Mark’s coffee? Why did Jo even care? It wasn’t like Mark was asking Jo to get his coffee. No, he asked her to do that. And she was fine doing so, especially since it gave her a chance to flirt. So, Jo could go screw her—
The bathroom door squeaked open, and the lava flow of thoughts shut off in Karma’s head as if someone had closed a spigot.
“Karma?” It was Lisa. “You in here?”
Karma sighed. “Yes.” Before she could stop herself, she sniffled then immediately closed her eyes and cringed. Great. Lisa would know something was wrong.
“You okay?”
The jig was up. No sense lying. “No.” She reluctantly opened the stall door and stepped out, certain that her face was blotchy from crying.
“What happened?” Concern washed over Lisa’s face.
“Jolene happened.” She whipped a paper towel out of the dispenser and blotted away her tears before looking in the mirror. Her eyes and nose were red, and she had cried away some of her mascara and under-eye concealer. “How did you know I was in here, anyway?” She ran cold water over the towel, wrung it out, and pressed it under her puffy eyes.
“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for ten minutes,” Lisa said. “Mark called me and asked if I knew where you were.”
How long had she been in the bathroom? She checked her watch. Oh God. She had been in here for almost twenty minutes. “Mark called you?” Mark knew she and Lisa were friends and that she had told Lisa what was going on. He’d been a little concerned at first, but then Karma reassured him Lisa wouldn’t rat them out.
Lisa nodded. “I figured if he was calling me, something was wrong, so I came looking for you.”
Great. Not only was she a big crying baby, but now Mark would ask her where she’d disappeared to the next time he had a chance. And she wouldn’t be able to lie. Karma turned and plopped her butt against the counter.
Lisa touched Karma’s arm and nodded toward the door. “Come on. Let’s go to lunch, and you can tell me what happened with Jo.”
Karma cringed and shook her head. “I don’t want him to see me like this.”
“He and Don left for lunch about five minutes ago.” Lisa gestured toward the door. “So come on. I’ll take you to Olive Garden and feed you garlic bread and salad and get you good and happy again. He’ll never know. We can chalk it up to feminine mystique.” She smiled cautiously.
Thank God for Lisa and her glass-half-full mentality, because Karma really needed to talk. Lisa had always been her sounding board, and between what was happening with Mark and how Jolene had taken to bullying her again, Karma’s ends were frayed.
Karma smiled tightly and followed Lisa out of the bathroom.
On the drive to Olive Garden, Karma relayed what had happened with Jolene. By the time they were seated at a table, Lisa was cussing Jolene’s name.
“As a member of Human Resources,” Lisa said, “I want to tell you to file a complaint against that bitch.” She nabbed a warm breadstick from the basket. “But as your friend, I know it’s not that simple. I know you don’t want to do that.”
“No, I don’t.” Karma picked off a piece of her breadstick and popped it in her mouth. “I don’t want to cause any more problems than there are already, and filing a complaint will just make Jo more crafty.”
“And this all started the day you said she asked Mark to drinks and he said no? And paid you more attention than he paid her, I might add.” As an afterthought, Lisa added, “Good for him.” Then she held her hands up innocently. “I mean, at least from what you’ve told me, that’s how it sounded.”
“Yeah. So?”
“It sounds like Jolene’s jealous.”
Karma let that sink in for a moment. “Jealous? Of what?”
“Not what,” Lisa said. “Who.”
The waiter brought their salad and two bowls of Pasta e Fagioli. He grated Parmesan over the top of Karma’s then departed.
Karma leaned forward. “Are you saying that Jolene is jealous? Of me?”
Lisa dipped her head to one side as if the answer was obvious. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Oh come on. Look at me. What does Jolene have to be jealous of?”
Lisa set her spoon down and frowned. “Seriously, Karma?” With a huff, she wiped her hands and sat forward. “Yes, let’s look at you for a second. Have you looked in a mirror lately? You’re stunning. Ever since you got your hair cut and started wearing makeup and girl clothes, you’ve been turning heads all over the office. You haven’t just caught Mark’s eye. You’ve caught the eye of every available man in the office…as well as the eye of a few of the unavailable ones. Haven’t you noticed?”
Dumbfounded, Karma could only shake her head.
Lisa smiled patiently. “Karma, Karma, Karma. Sweet little innocent Karma. You need to open your eyes and look around.”
“I don’t get it. I—”
“There’s nothing to ‘get,’ Karma. You’re finally embracing your sexuality, and men are taking notice. That’s why Jolene is jealous. She’s no longer the hottest commodity on the market, so of course she feels threatened by you. You’re disrupting the natural order of things, and she’ll do whatever she has to do to put you back in your place. At least, in the place where she thinks you belong. A
re you going to let her do that to you? If you want this new you that you’ve discovered, you have to own it, and you have to let Jolene know you’re owning it.” Lisa snapped her fingers.
Karma had never been in the spotlight or considered a “hot commodity,” so she couldn’t wrap her mind around what Lisa was telling her. “I do want to own it,” she said with a nod. “I don’t want to let Jo bring me down, but I don’t know how to stop her.”
“Stand up to her.” Lisa whooshed her hand into the air then dropped it back to the table. “Don’t let her push you around. Tell her to do her own damn job if she doesn’t like having to ask you for those stupid quarterlies. She’s only asking you for them to get under your skin. Ten to one she doesn’t even need them and only uses them as an excuse to harass you.” Lisa lifted her spoon and pointed it at Karma to add emphasis. “Mark my words, she’s just going to keep being a bitch until you put her in her place.”
Karma stirred her soup with a breadstick. “This just sucks. Why does life have to be so hard?”
“Hey, nobody said changing was going to be easy. In fact, it never is.” She stabbed her fork into a black olive on her salad plate and briefly pointed it at Karma before popping it in her mouth. “Any time you try to change, forces push back. They don’t call them growing pains for nothing. As you grow and change, it hurts more, because you’re putting out a new message that those around you aren’t used to. They’ve grown accustomed to seeing you a certain way, and now you’re trying to show them something else. Some will embrace it, and others, like Jo, will fight it. She doesn’t want you getting stronger. She doesn’t want you to break out of the mold she’s put you in, because then that means she’ll have to face the fact that she’s still the same bitch she’s always been and that she no longer has control over you, which will shine a spotlight on how incredibly lonely and inadequate she is.” Lisa bobbed her head. “Think of it that way and you kind of feel sorry for her.”
Karma thought about what Lisa had said for a second then shook her head. “Nah. I still don’t feel sorry for her.”
Lisa laughed. “That’s the spirit. Now you’re coming around.”
What Lisa said had merit. Jolene was one big spotlight hog. If Karma was, in fact, taking that spotlight away, Jolene’s recent behavior made a lot more sense.
“I didn’t ask for this,” Karma said. “I didn’t ask for the guys in the office to notice me more than her.” That still baffled Karma, but if Lisa said it was true, then who was Karma to question her. Lisa had her finger on the pulse of the office better than Karma did. If something was going on, Lisa knew about it.
“Of course you didn’t,” Lisa said. “You’re too busy being a good employee. Karma, the ‘worker bee.’” Lisa tucked the handle of her spoon into the palm of her hand and made air quotes with her fingers. “But that doesn’t change the facts. You’ve turned heads, and now you’re a threat. You’re pretty. You’re smart. And you’ve got Mark’s attention, which Jo wants. True, she may not know exactly how much you’ve got Mark’s attention, but in the office, you’re with him all day. Jo would kill to get that kind of time with him, and you’re the one who has it. So, not only are you stealing the spotlight, but you’re also the ‘lucky bitch’—Jo’s words, not mine—who gets to be around Mark.”
“Wait. What? Are you saying she said that?” Karma scowled at what sounded like evidence that Jo had been talking about her around the office.
Lisa held up her hand. “Not to me, but I overheard her talking to Nancy earlier this week.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t want to upset you. I’m sorry. Maybe I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t want to ruin how happy you’ve been.”
A weak smile played over Karma’s mouth as she thought about Mark, the source of all her happiness. “It’s just hard to hear, that’s all. I don’t like being talked about.”
“Who does? But take it as a good sign she’s treating you like this, Karma. It means she sees you as a threat. And if she sees you as a threat, then you’re moving in the right direction. You’re moving forward. But like I said, change isn’t easy, and the way Jo’s acting is proof of that. You just have to ignore her as best as you can, stand up to her when given the opportunity, and understand that her behavior is more about her, not you. It’s about her insecurities, her feelings of inadequacy. Isn’t that the truth of all bullies?”
Karma nodded and smiled. “You always know how to make me feel better.”
“That’s because I’m awesome,” Lisa joked, finishing the last bite of her soup. “And because I’m your friend,” she said more seriously.
“And I love you for it.”
“And I love you.” Lisa reached across the table and patted her hand. “I love seeing you finally spreading your wings, Karma. You deserve to be happy more than anyone I know.”
Karma blushed and looked away, never good with compliments.
Lisa snagged the last breadstick. “And I’m glad you decided to see Mark outside the office. He’s really good for you.” She bit off the end before aiming the rest at Karma like a wand. “But don’t forget, you have to tell me everything.”
With a laugh, Karma shook her head. “How can I forget? You won’t let me.”
* * *
At four thirty, Mark’s last meeting of the day finished as Karma was putting the final touches on a presentation for Don. Thankfully, Mark hadn’t asked where she had been earlier. She really wanted to get through the rest of the day without thinking about what happened with Jolene.
Her phone vibrated on the desk, and she checked the screen.
Mark. You and me? Dinner tonight?
Five simple words, but the impact they had was similar to receiving notice that she had just won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes. Her heart rate ramped up, a tingle zipped down her back, and an uncontrollable urge to send a fist pump into the air splattered her self-control against the wall like it had been shot with a bazooka. She barely contained the squeal that rose from the pit of her stomach. Barely. Instead, she cleared her throat and typed a reply.
I have yoga until 6:30 with Lisa, but will be home after.
Yoga? At the gym we share?
After reading his text, her eyes narrowed. Why did she get the feeling he had something up his sleeve? She texted back. You got a membership there?
Yes. So maybe I’ll bump into you tonight.
She glanced into the conference room. Mark’s face was buried in his tablet, his phone in his left hand, a grin on his face. She typed out another text. You’re going to the gym tonight?
She looked up in time to see him lift his phone as it vibrated. He read, and without acknowledging her, he started typing.
I will now. Maybe I’ll even be in your yoga class.
Goose bumps instantly sprang up all over her body. How could she perform Downward-Facing Dog, Extended Puppy, and Happy Baby Pose if he was watching her? Heaven forbid he would set his mat behind hers.
I thought you only used the weights, she sent back.
Afraid for me to see you in your yoga attire performing a sun salutation that will make your perky breasts the center of my attention?
She gasped, and when she looked up, he was grinning wider than before, but he still wasn’t looking at her. Were her breasts perky? She wasn’t entirely sure how to handle the flattery.
I was more worried about my bare feet now that I know of your foot fetish. She fought back a giggle.
Ah, yes. There is that, isn’t there? I’m definitely going to be in your yoga class now.
Well, if he wanted to play, she would play. Fine. I hope you’re an advanced student, because I’m not carrying you out when you pull a muscle.
He actually chuckled as he read her message.
So little faith in me, but you’re right. I don’t do yoga. You win. I’ll stay safe in the free weights.
Good idea. She stole a glance at him as he typed.
I think you just don�
��t want me staring at your assets—and your bare feet—in class.
That stinker. Damn right. I knew you had ulterior motives.
Guilty. Did I mention that I’m a hot-blooded man? ;) Now go home. It’s 5:00. I’ll see you and your assets around 6:30.
You’re bad. I’ll see you then.
She gathered her things, cast another glance into the conference room at Mr. Sexy, then headed out.
As far as she was concerned, the day had just started.
* * *
At six thirty, Karma rolled up her yoga mat, put her gym shoes back on, said good night to a couple of her classmates then headed into the bowels of the gym’s fitness area with Lisa, Daniel, and Zach. Machines, treadmills, stair climbers, and ellipticals crowded the floor, and the place was busy. Looked like all of Clover had decided to get in a workout before their Friday night dates. All the equipment and people made it hard to find Mark.
“Do you see him?” she said to Lisa while she stretched. As if she hadn’t already done enough stretching in yoga class.
“No, but I’m not surprised. God, what happened? Was there a weight lifting convention here we didn’t hear about or what?” Lisa joined her in a stretch.
“I am dying to meet this guy,” Daniel said beside her. “Just so I can see what all the fuss is about. You two make him sound like Adonis.”
Zach snickered as he finished putting his yoga gear in his duffel bag. Then he glanced up and arched one brow as he slowly stood. “Hello. Who is that?”
Karma turned and looked into Mark’s intoxicating eyes as he joined them.
“Hello.” He appraised her in your yoga pants and tank top.
“Hi.” And there was the heat in her cheeks again, right on schedule. She turned toward Daniel and Zach and introduced them. “Daniel, Zach, this is Mark.”