by Donya Lynne
Karma was a vessel of perfection. The way she lifted her head and pressed it against his shoulder, the desperate cries that ruptured from her throat, the way she clutched his hands like she was holding on to a life preserver in choppy water. All of it called to his base needs like a siren’s song.
In this moment, she was his. All his. And he was hers. And as her body shattered into an earthquake of orgasm and a thousand aftershocks, Mark held on tight and let himself fall into her abyss. Pleasure erupted. Reality shifted. And for the moment, he wanted for nothing other than her. Her touch, her scent, her taste, the sound of her voice, and the sight of her beautiful, haunting eyes. For as long as he lived, he would never forget her eyes.
The spiritual moment gently faded as he lay against her back, spent, breathless, and drenched in sweat. Beneath him, she breathed heavily, just as swept away by their passion as he was.
He let go of her hand and untied the makeshift blindfold. She turned her head, blinked against the city lights breaking through the wall of windows, then looked over her shoulder.
“Where did you go just then?” she whispered.
So she had felt the magical transcendence, too.
He licked his lips and kissed her. “Nowhere. Nowhere but here with you.”
Chapter 46
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
-Thomas Jefferson
At one o’clock in the morning, Karma slept the sated sleep of a woman well-tended, curled in Mark’s arms. After their intense loving, they had taken a quick shower to rinse away the sticky remnants of juice, honey, and almond butter, made love one more time, and then she had drifted into sleep.
Her steady breaths were a stark contrast to her cries of pleasure earlier, but he liked both equally. Even now, he wanted to touch her, caress her face, wake her with kisses, and start all over again and lift her to the peak of pleasure just so he could watch her angelic face twist with passion and hear her cry his name.
She had turned out to be such a surprise. At every turn, she threw him a curve. With the women he dated before, he had anticipated their every move, gauging their reactions to the second. He had known when they would balk and when they would embrace. With Karma, he never knew. All he could do was make his best guess. Sometimes his guesses were on target, sometimes not.
Like tonight. She had taken to his game without a blink. Without resisting, she had let him blindfold her and put unknown objects in her mouth. He’d had no intention of tricking her or giving her something he thought would disgust her, but she hadn’t known that. And yet she had accepted everything without question.
Trust existed between them. A kind of trust that only came with honesty and full disclosure. Last night he had finally come clean about his past and why he was the way he was, and instead of pushing him away and telling him this was all too much for her, Karma had bravely forged ahead. She knew the risks, and she knew he would leave and why, but that didn’t deter her. She still wanted him for however long they had together, and that spoke highly of her spirit and courage, because he knew parting ways would be hard. For both of them. But that was how it had to be. He couldn’t give her the future she deserved, and he couldn’t risk letting go of his heart again. But there was a middle ground, and that’s where the two of them now existed…in the thin sliver between the proverbial rock and a hard place. This was where the past and the future held no sway, where he could hold and cherish her before his inevitable departure. For now, this was enough, and from the way it looked, it was enough for her, too.
He grinned fondly as he watched her sleep. He was happy. With her, he found a measure of contentment he hadn’t found with anyone else, not even Carol. But then he wasn’t the same man he had been six years ago.
Karma’s hair was tangled and knotted after their lovemaking, but the imperfection endeared her to him rather than made her appear flawed. Her lips were parted almost seductively even in slumber, urging him to kiss her. But he wouldn’t. She needed to sleep.
If only he weren’t so emotionally damaged, maybe they would have stood a chance. But a long-distance relationship would only end badly and destroy all the good memories they’d made during these few precious months. Trying to force a relationship would be a costly mistake, and he didn’t want to do that to either one of them.
Still, everything about her seemed custom-made to fit, just like one of his tailored suits. Every inch of her molded perfectly to every inch of him. She was like a favorite sweater, warm and comfortable.
He stared at her, somnolent, ready for sleep but not wanting to miss a moment.
Closing his eyes, he listened to her soothing, deep breaths, felt the gentle rise and fall of her body against his, and let her warmth ease his mind.
Carol had ruined everything. She had taken away his confidence and his ability to give away his heart.
But she hadn’t taken away this night. She hadn’t robbed him of this one perfect, almost spiritual evening with his Karma.
His Karma.
Tonight, she belonged to him and his heart was hers.
“I love you,” he whispered.
Just this once, in the magical silence of his bedroom, with her fast asleep in his arms, Mark admitted the truth. He did love her, and while he allowed himself this brief indulgence of honesty, he would never utter the words again. This was his moment, and now that he had said the words, he would hold them in his heart forever. He would set her free when the time came. He would. It was the right thing to do.
But for now, loving her was right. He sighed contentedly, burrowed his nose into her still-damp hair, and finally allowed himself to sleep.
Chapter 47
Sex is emotion in motion.
-Mae West
Mark rose with the sun, Karma still in his arms. Carefully, he pulled himself free, got out of bed, closed the curtains so the sunlight wouldn’t wake her, and rubbed his palms up and down his face as he walked barefoot to the bathroom and closed the door.
After a quick shower, where he replayed the memories of last night like a favorite movie, he returned to the bedroom and quietly pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, nylon sweats, and a faded blue T-shirt that was so old the collar was frayed. The shirt was one of his favorites, and despite its tattered appearance, he had never been able to get rid of it.
He was funny like that. When he found something he loved, he simply couldn’t throw it away. He still had cassette tapes from when he was a kid. Old classic rock stuff he had inherited from an uncle at the age of six. Even though he had no means of playing them anymore, he kept them for nostalgia. Every time he ran across them while digging through his things, good memories flooded his mind. That alone was enough to make him hang on to those antique cassettes.
He glanced at Karma, sleeping so peacefully, and smiled as he picked up his phone from the dresser. Aiming it, he took a picture and then a second, closer one. This was how he wanted to remember her. Tousled and glorious after their night of passion. Just like his old cassettes, he wanted to hold on to his memory of Karma long after their affair ended, and years from now, he would open these pictures and remember how, for a short time, he’d had it good. So wonderfully, perfectly good.
With another glance toward Karma to make sure she was still asleep, he quietly rummaged through her bag and found a pair of shorts, which he gently set on the foot of the bed. Then he scrounged one of his T-shirts from the closet, placed it beside her shorts—because he did enjoy seeing her in his clothes—and quietly slipped out of the bedroom, latching the door with a snick.
He made a pot of coffee, set out tea and a cup for when Karma woke, grabbed the Sunday paper from the hall, and took his coffee and paper to the balcony, where he parked in the early morning sun. A refreshing breeze blew off Lake Michigan.
About thirty minutes later, Karma joined him, holding her cup of tea and wearing a sleepy grin.
“Good morning, sexy,” he said, setting his paper aside.
“Morning.” She
blew over her tea and gingerly sat in the chair beside him as if her body wasn’t quite operational, yet. After last night, she was probably all kinds of achy, but in a good way.
Her hair was a mish-mash of combed tangles, and she was wearing his shirt and the shorts he had set out. Sleep still hung in her eyes, but he had never seen anything more beautiful.
“Come here.” He held out his hand.
She set down her tea and slid from her seat into his lap, where she snuggled against him.
“Sleep well?” He brushed his palm down her hair. She smelled like mint toothpaste.
She nodded. “Uh-huh.”
“Still tired?”
Again, she nodded. “Uh-huh.”
“You hungry?”
Without preamble, she lifted her head and kissed him, catching him by surprise, and chiseled a crack into the concrete wall around his heart.
Her mouth was refreshingly cool and tasted of mint, and his reaction was instantaneous. His head drifted back, his arms encircled her, and he pulled her closer, greedy for the feel of her taking control. She held his face in her hands, her palms pressed against his cheeks, her thumbs crisscrossed under his chin, and her lips opened and closed in tender, hungry pulls against his mouth in a dreamy, affectionate display.
He could wake up to this every morning. He really could.
All too soon, she drew back and licked her lips, her cheeks flushed. “I could eat.”
He smiled, his body ready for hers again. “You know, making love in the morning is a beautiful way to wake up.”
She inhaled sharply, albeit quietly. “I wouldn’t know.”
It was the perfect thing for her to say at the perfect moment.
He pushed her off his lap, stood, and took her hand. “Then I think it’s time you learned.”
He led her back to the bedroom, left the door open, and pulled her down into bed on top of him, ready to savor her a little bit more before she left.
Chapter 48
Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it’ll always get you the right ones.
-Author unknown
Mark stepped onto Rob’s back patio. The radio was tuned to B96, and the backyard was full of people. A volleyball net was set up in the back part of the yard, and half a dozen guests were batting a white ball back and forth. Still more stood in cozy pockets around the patio.
Karma had left right after breakfast, leaving a gaping void, and he just didn’t feel right without her. Maybe being around the festivities at Rob’s house would lift his spirits.
A spread of appetizers and finger foods were set out on the table, shaded by a large umbrella, and a couple of giant, ice-filled coolers teeming with bottles of beer, water, and soda sat nearby. He grabbed a Budweiser.
“Hey, Mark.” Rob spied him from the grill and headed over.
“Hey.” The two clapped their right hands together and pulled each other in for a brief man hug, and then Mark stepped back and glanced around. “Lot of people.”
“Yeah. I invited some of my coworkers.” Rob’s gaze swept around the yard. “Hey, by the way, I’ve got somebody I want you to meet.”
Mark held up his hand defensively. “No. No fix-ups today, Rob.” Rob had a habit of springing women on him at parties like this, and he wasn’t in the mood to entertain some strange, random woman tonight. Not when the woman he really wanted was back in Indiana, over two hours away.
“This isn’t a fix-up.” Rob held out his hand as a pretty blonde approached. She took his hand and let Rob pull her in. “Mark, this is Holly. Holly, this is my best friend, Mark.”
Rob was seeing someone? The prodigal bachelor was in a relationship? When had this happened? The guy had stars in his eyes and tiny hearts dancing around his head. Rob couldn’t even tear his gaze from Holly, and that goofy, cheesy grin said plenty about his feelings.
“Hi. Nice to meet you.” Mark held out his hand.
Holly had a firm, confident grip. Just like Karma’s. Cue the tug at his heartstrings again.
“Nice to meet you, too,” she said. “Rob’s told me a lot about you.” Holly had a smooth voice and spoke with clear enunciation.
“Holly is the director of marketing for a web marketing firm,” Rob said proudly, clearly smitten.
For the next couple of minutes, they talked about work and careers…typical, first introduction type stuff.
“Holly! We’re up!” Someone from the makeshift volleyball court called.
Holly waved over her shoulder. “Okay. Hold on.” She turned back. “Good meeting you, Mark. Maybe we can talk more later.”
“Absolutely.” Mark tipped his Bud in acknowledgement.
With a smile, she stood on her tiptoes and gave Rob a quick kiss.
As he slid his arm around her waist, he said, “Go get ‘em, tiger.”
“I’ll be back.” An intimate look passed between them.
Mark knew that look. It was the same one that had passed between him and Karma about a hundred times the other day while playing basketball. The same one they gave each other every morning when he came around the corner at the office and every time she greeted him when he went to her place.
As Holly jogged off to the volleyball court, Mark followed Rob back to the grill, taking a swallow of beer.
“So, when did you two start dating?” he said.
Rob was still staring after Holly. “About three weeks ago.”
Three weeks, and Rob was already this enamored? “Looks serious.”
Rob spun around and tried to wave him off. “Nah.” But that same cornball grin remained on his face, saying otherwise.
“Whatever you say.”
A pair of barbecue tongs tipped with charred remains swung his way like a finger and waggled up and down. “You’re one to talk.”
Mark frowned. “What are you talking about?”
A long hard stare answered him as Rob’s brow rose knowingly. “You know what I’m talking about. That cute little thing that came by your apartment Friday. Karma.” He looked around. “Why didn’t you bring her? I assumed she was staying the weekend.”
“She needed to get back home.” Just the mention of Karma’s name did something to his ability to breathe, and he cleared his throat and looked away. “And you know what the score is with her. We’re just having fun, remember? Nothing serious.” What he felt for Karma was more serious than anything he had ever felt. Saying otherwise was like knifing his own gut.
“Bullshit, Mark. Don’t try to pass that line of crap on me. I’ve known you too long. So, you can ride my ass all you want about Holly, but I’ll just ride yours right back.” He shook the tongs again, a smirk on his face. “I promise you that.”
In an effort to defuse the conversation, Mark took another drink and backed into a nearby lounge chair.
But Rob wouldn’t let the topic go. “Besides, if things aren’t that serious, why did she drive to Chicago to see you?”
Sprawling open-kneed in the chair, Mark rested his Bud between his thighs. “It’s not like that, okay? I’ve already told you…I just…I don’t know…I like her. She’s different.” They were the same old tired excuses he’d been using for weeks, but nothing new came to mind. And he refused to go into the kiss and tell. Not about this. Not about Karma. Some things were too sacred to tarnish by blabbing about them to others, even his best friend.
“Yeah, you’ve told me.” Rob gave him a dubious look. “I hear your words, Mark, but your actions are telling another story. But hey, that’s cool. You like her. Nothing wrong with that.” He paused. “But you’re still going to say good-bye, aren’t you?” He shook his head disapprovingly.
Mark collared the neck of the beer bottle between his index and middle fingers and lifted it to his mouth, averting his gaze. Rob was a smart fucker. He could see through Mark like he was made of glass.
“Tell me about Holly.” Mark glanced back at his friend to see that lovesick grin plaster on his puss again.
“Nice change of subjec
t, Ice Man.” Rob looked over his shoulder at his new girl. “Holly’s great. Beautiful, smart, funny.”
“Sounds perfect.” Sounds like Karma.
“Yeah, yeah.” Rob fidgeted as he turned the smattering of meat on the grill.
“So, what? You gonna marry her or some shit?” Mark had meant it as a joke, but when Rob turned serious eyes on him, it was clear he wasn’t laughing. Not even close.
“I think I will.”
Mark puffed out an incredulous breath. “You can’t be serious.” Rob, the consummate single man. The guy who said he would never get married.
Rob looked over his shoulder again to make sure no one was within earshot. “I can’t explain it, Mark, but…yeah. She’s it. Holly’s the one.”
“I thought you said you’d be single forever.” Why did this news unsettle Mark so much? He should be happy for Rob, but instead, he was agitated and quickly reminded of the empty loneliness of his own life. If Rob got married, it would grow even lonelier. Rob was screwing up the whole friendship dynamic. He was rearranging the terms and jacking up the feng shui of their relationship.
“Things change,” Rob said. “People grow up.” He glanced toward Holly. “And when you find something precious, you grab on and don’t let go.” He gave Mark a pointed look. “You might do well to remember that.”
“If you have something to say, just say it.” Irritation grated Mark’s nerves. He was getting unusually aggravated by this conversation.
Rob twirled the tongs in his hand. “You’ve been through hell, buddy. I know that better than anyone.”
Mark shifted uncomfortably, tension mounting in his neck and shoulders.
“But at some point,” Rob said, “you need to move on. This isn’t healthy, man. Karma obviously means more to you than—”