The night my frustration came to a head, the Dungeon was painfully slow. I watched the hours tick by until I was finally resigned that I wouldn’t have a client that night and just wanted to go home. Naturally, a couple came in just under an hour before we closed. Whoever took them was going to have to stay late, and I was determined it wouldn’t be me. They asked to meet all the Switches and Dommes. I didn’t even make eye contact when it was my turn in the hopes that they would take a hint.
I saw enough to note that they looked remarkably like treasure trolls. They were both about five feet tall, and that’s being generous. The man looked about fifteen years older than the woman, probably in his late fifties. He had graying black hair, and an unfortunately large, odd-shaped nose dominated his features. It was hard to see what she looked like because her lank, mousy hair hung in front of her face, and she didn’t bother raising her head when I stepped into the interview room. I walked back out after simply saying, “I’m Scarlett,” confident that they wouldn’t pick me. So of course they did. Evidently, a sneering, disinterested Domme with a shitty attitude was exactly what they were looking for. I sighed deeply when Viv told me they wanted to interview with me, but didn’t complain any further lest I compound my headache by having her chew me out.
Let’s get this shit over with.
The man indicated that their names were John and Lena. I took a moment to look them over properly before continuing with the interview. John was not an attractive man, but he had a warm smile and was polite. Lena, on the other hand, was the most terrified, timid-looking person I had ever met. Something about this really bothered me. I was used to being around subs who were subservient and respectful, but there was an air of pride to their submission. They were empowered through their relationship with their Dominant. Lena just seemed cowed. The waves of emotion that were rolling off her were intense and definitely not in a good way. She was oozing misery and discomfort. There were three scenarios I could envision that would be causing this. One: She’s just painfully shy and that’s how she acted in a situation in which she was uncomfortable. Two: Elements of their relationship were either physically or emotionally abusive. Or three: She had no desire to be there and was being forced to do something she wasn’t happy with. None of those were scenarios that I wanted to deal with, so it was with extreme reluctance that I agreed to do an hour-long session with them.
As John and I had begun discussing the terms of the scene, I was surprised to learn that they were both submissive and wanted me to top them together. I had seen many couples in which both were tops or Switches, but this was the first time I could think of in which both were subs. I still had a lousy attitude about the situation as a whole, but they had piqued my curiosity. John’s eyes were alight with excitement as he told me, “I’ve been here a few times before, but not with Lena. I usually play with Erin, but Lena liked you best, so we came in when you were working.”
I guess that explained why I hadn’t deterred them. I thought he was possibly just flattering me, though. Lena didn’t look like she’d ever had an opinion in her life. I kept trying to engage her in the discussion, but gave up when she still wouldn’t talk or make eye contact. She looked like she was trying to curl her body in on itself to make it disappear. I was worried.
“Lena, are you sure you want to do this? We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”
“She’s fine,” John assured me. “She just shuts down when she gets nervous, but she’ll be okay. She’s been excited about this for weeks.”
I had never seen a less excited-looking treasure troll.
When we got to the chamber, I ordered both of them to strip down to their underwear while I arranged the rope and toys that I had grabbed at random. We were going to do some simple bondage, light impact play, and end with hot wax. There was nothing complex or interesting about it, so I went through the motions without being present. On autopilot, I tied them up facing each other and made them hold hands.
They looked adorably awkward and I was struck again by how unfortunate looking they both were. I wasn’t deliberately being mean. There just wasn’t any getting around it. I alternated spanking them for a few minutes. John was responding, but Lena continued to be a black hole in the room. Concern for her was pulling me from my apathetic state. I lifted her chin and made her look me in the eye. I stroked her cheek gently without saying anything, then allowed her to drop her gaze once more. I was trying to reassure her without forcing her to talk, but I was also just trying to get a baseline read on her before we started doing anything heavier.
As I took John by the wrists and bent him over the spanking bench, I was fighting to engage myself in the scene. I still really didn’t want to be here, but I swallowed it and kept going through the motions. I told myself that some days that’s the best you can manage, but I knew it was a lie. When another human being is laying their trust at your feet, it is a privilege, something that should be honored with your full attention, regardless of whether you are being paid for it or not.
I tied John by his wrists and ankles so that he was lying on the bench. I positioned Lena on the other side of the bench, and began using a crop on them both. Watching Lena silently flinch was too much for me. I untied John, and said, “Slave, your job is to serve my female slave as I tease her with hot wax.”
I smiled at Lena reassuringly as I laid her on her back and retied her ankles and wrists. I nodded to John, and he obediently began massaging her feet. I thought maybe putting someone under her on the totem pole might make her feel more confident. It didn’t work. She lay there rigid as a board as I got the candles and a lighter. I decided to try one more thing, and if it didn’t work, then I was calling the scene. I wasn’t comfortable continuing with her like this, no matter what John said.
I rummaged through a drawer and found a simple black blindfold and put it on her. The transformation was the most dramatic I had ever seen. She almost instantly relaxed. I lit a handful of candles and let them start to melt, while I teased Lena with my fingertips. She positively melted beneath my touch. Her lips parted, and her breath began to come in soft pants. When her hips arched off the table, I took the first candle and poured just a drop of the hot wax on her thigh. She tensed in surprise, but immediately followed it with a moan, her hips begging for more. I alternately stroked and poured small amounts of wax, getting so into it that I forgot I was supposed to be giving John instructions too. I glanced up to find him just standing to one side grinning. He waved his hands in negation and stepped back, indicating that I should continue with Lena and he would observe. With that simple gesture, I understood that there was real love between them. Most men I had seen in a pay-for-play situation would take their pleasure, sometimes even at the expense of their partners, but John was willing to forgo his own experience to allow the focus to be on Lena. I suspected she didn’t let go often. I could relate.
She blossomed before me from treasure troll to siren. I had found her repugnant and now I fucking wanted her. I wanted her bad. Beneath that blindfold, she was liberated and wildly feminine. To this day, she is one of the sexiest women I have encountered.
Our time was just about up, so I poured the last of the pooled wax over her, and started to bring the intensity of the scene back down. As I blew the candles out, I smiled, remembering the first time I had tried wax play with Wes. I fucked it up so badly, but he had been nothing but forgiving and supportive. He had been willing to trust whatever I asked him to, always game for the next adventure. We had been on such a journey together, but I wanted something more. I wanted what I had just seen from John. I needed to know what it was like to be with a partner who would put my needs first so that I could do the same for him without getting lost in the relationship. It made me sad to think about ending things with Wes, but it made me sadder to watch John help Lena clean up and know that I was never going to have what they had if I stayed with Wes.
The universe had slapped me in the face with my bad attitude. I felt s
o guilty for the way I had judged both Lena and John before really knowing anything about them. I had spent years learning not to judge and to honor my clients’ trust, and had begun to forget those lessons. I suddenly understood that the anger and bitterness that Lady Viv carried around was what happened if you spent too long in this world. I needed to get out before I lost sight of the good that came from the Dungeon in all of the bullshit.
John and Lena chatted excitedly as I finished cleaning up. They said they would come to see me again one day, but I knew that I wouldn’t be working the next time they came in. This would be my last scene at the Dungeon. It was the reminder I needed and the note I wanted to end my career as a professional Switch on. I could still maintain the friendships I had formed when I was retired, and I would always have Scarlett with me when I needed her.
45. BURNING MAN
We had celebrated my retirement from the Dungeon, and even though I wasn’t working anymore, I still attended play parties and made time to hang out with the gang. I hadn’t ended things with Wes yet. In some ways, the Dungeon was a harder Mistress to end things with, and part of me was still mourning the loss of the routine I had grown used to. To get me out of my funk, Dom and Vanessa had persuaded Wes and I to take a week off work and go to Burning Man for the first time with them. Burning Man is a festival in the desert in Nevada where fifty thousand people build a city out of nothing for a week and party their asses off. There are all kinds of spiritual and social aspects to it, but for the group I was going with, it was mostly about having a good time.
The lines to get in to the event were insanely long, so by the time we made it to our camp and set up our tents, I had been awake for well over twenty-four hours. It was too hot to sleep and we were all on some kind of upper—from Adderall to speed—so it seemed like a good idea to start our Burn by stirring up some trouble in the giant tented bar in the center of our camp. Armed with a bag full of toys, we set up in the center of the bar and played with one another until we managed to lure some more adventurous people to experiment with us. Popping people’s kink cherries is always exciting and we were busting them left and right. Guys were offering up their wives just so they could watch us spank them, which we generally turned on the husband by instead teaching the wife how to punish him. I got caught up in the atmosphere of revelry and was flogging an adorable young frat boy when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Interrupting a Domme when she is in the middle of a scene is totally unacceptable, so I turned, ready to eviscerate someone. In front of me stood a stunning young woman scantily clad in a bikini and lace, wearing a dream-catcher necklace. Being attractive is not an excuse for bad manners, though, so I gave her my scariest bitch face and asked, “Is there some kind of emergency that made you feel it was okay to interrupt me?”
She smiled prettily, nodded, and replied without a hint of hesitation, “I need you to fuck me … please, Mistress.”
The people around us had been watching the exchange to see how it would play out. They whooped and clapped at her response.
The young man I had been flogging said, “Sounds like a legit emergency to me!”
I couldn’t help cracking up and agreeing. “Who are you here with?” I asked, looking around.
She indicated three guys standing to one side with massive grins on their faces.
“You guys cool with this? Is she in a relationship with any of you? I don’t want to start any drama.”
“She’s all yours!”
I looked for Wes to at least make eye contact and let him know what I was up to, but he was perfectly happy having his balls kicked by two older women. I shrugged and took her by the hand, leading her back to my tent.
Why the hell not?
She was dainty and gorgeous, but for some reason I wasn’t really attracted to her. She was an entertaining novelty, but there was no spark there for me. I had reached a point that fulfilling someone’s sexual fantasy wasn’t that big a deal. I think it was partly that I was just that jaded and partly that while I was performing acts that should be deemed intimate, there was no actual intimacy in it for me. I was unaware of it, but I had a wall up with everyone. I could have fun and exchange pleasure, but I wasn’t connecting.
Conveniently, this pretty little thing wasn’t looking for a connection. She was looking to get fucked. And I was happy to oblige.
I led her to my tent and was appalled to discover that it was swelteringly hot inside, but I wasn’t going to fuck her on the sand and it was the only place I could think of, so we were just going to have to make it work. I took her by the back of the neck and kissed her hard, making it absolutely clear who was in control. She melted against me and I deepened the kiss, exalting in the feel of her supple surrender. When she started to grind her hips against mine, I commanded that she strip and lie back on the air mattress while I grabbed my strap-on. My toy bag was outside the tent, so I stepped out and rummaged until I found the harness and a suitable-looking big black cock to attach to it. I stripped naked and stepped into the harness, grinning with anticipation. Gods, it felt good to have a dick on and be about to use it!
When I walked back into the tent, I found her wearing nothing but the dream-catcher necklace, playing with herself on my bed.
“Good girl,” I encouraged her, and stood back to watch as she continued. It was too fucking hot for foreplay, so if she got things started, then it was less work for me.
“Please, Mistress. Please fuck me now,” she begged.
“Get on all fours.”
She did as she was told, arching her back and spreading herself with her hands. I knelt between her legs, positioned my cock, and just barely rocked forward. I paused before thrusting the rest of the way in to enjoy the spectacular view. She cried out as I filled her, so I maintained a slow rhythm at first to let her get accustomed to its girth and then I stopped being gentle and pounded her hard. She wanted to get fucked after all. I found her clit with my thumb and rubbed it the same way I had seen her do herself, with quick side-to-side movements. She was moaning incoherently and thrashing her head from side to side. And I was fucking melting. Like actually melting. Dripping with sweat from every pore in my body. I thought she was probably close to orgasm, but I couldn’t keep going without a break. I flipped under her and brought her down on top of me, feeling our breasts mold together in the slick heat. I kissed her and took her by the hips, getting her to grind hard. As her movements became more rapid, I rubbed her clit again hoping she would come quickly.
She started to chant, “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” and I waited for her imminent climax.
And with no further warning, she lost consciousness and collapsed on top of me. I frantically flipped her onto the mattress and knelt over her trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.
Did I just fucking kill her? What is this bitch on? Why didn’t I think to check? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
A deep breath and Occam’s razor would have led me to the conclusion that she had simply fainted from the heat and likely dehydration, but I was in a full-blown panic until I had established that she still had a pulse. The one other time I had knocked a partner out accidentally, he had come to almost immediately, but she was showing no signs of waking up. I shook her gently. And then a little less gently. I grabbed a bottle of water and dumped it over her head.
Her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled blissfully and said, “That was incredible.”
“It was fucking scary. You passed out. Come out here and sit on a lawn chair and get some air while I figure out what to do with you.”
Once I had her seated in the shade, I ran back to the bar area to consult with my group. The bar went nuts with cheers and applause when I entered. I was totally oblivious to the fact that I was wearing nothing but a pair of boots and a strap-on and I must’ve been bright red and dripping sweat.
I looked around for the girl’s friends, but they appeared to have left. Raven, Dom, and Vanessa offered me high fives, but I dismissed their congratulations, still worried and feeling r
esponsible for the girl.
“The chick passed out. While I was fucking her. Like unconscious. One minute she was about to come, the next I thought I’d killed her!”
I couldn’t get them to stop laughing long enough to focus. Dom turned to the crowd and shouted, “Scarlett fucked a chick unconscious!”
I had to laugh a little myself at that one.
“But seriously, what do I do with her now? Should I find a ranger and get her medical help or something? She seemed sober, but now I’m thinking she might be on something and I just didn’t catch it since I don’t know her.”
“Here … have her drink some water and some Gatorade and when she’s feeling better we’ll walk her back to her camp. I don’t think there’s any need to involve the authorities. Though, it might be worth it just to see their faces as you explain what happened!”
I was relieved to find her where I left her, still conscious. I threw some clothes on and kept an eye on her while I got her to hydrate. We sat in silence until she eventually said, “Can we do that again?”
“I think you need to just rest and hydrate for now.”
“Well, what if I come back another time? Like tonight?”
I was flattered but not interested. She had scared the piss out of me and I mostly just wanted to not be responsible for her anymore.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We had a good time. Let’s just leave it at that.”
She looked like she wanted to argue and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I stood up and suggested we get the others and walk her back to her camp. When we dropped her off, my friends hung back and I gave her a hug. She kissed me and put her dream-catcher necklace over my head.
“This is so you never forget me.”
Fat fucking chance of that.
The Scarlett Letters Page 28