by Chloe Adler
Nolan bristles.
“What Caspian means is that it’s all Iphi’s choice. More like we’re her men and we’re both grateful to be a part of her life.” I take a bite of my sandwich and it pretty much tastes like cardboard. So much for that distraction. I put it down and play with the food instead. The last thing I need right now is to ruin my figure.
Nolan rolls his eyes. “You’re all in a normal poly relationship, I’m not disputing that. I’m not judging it. Hell, I think it’s cool. But is Dominic allowed to screw her too?”
Caspian chokes on a bite of his sandwich, then reaches for a napkin.
It’s not my place to air Iphi’s business, even with Nolan. If she wants him to know, she’ll tell him. “It’s not like that,” I lie. If I dodge his question again, he may blow up, and for a few hours at the very least I’d like to act like I have my brother back. “They’re just talking.”
“Well why didn’t you just say so.” Nolan picks up his sandwich and takes another bite.
Caspian throws me a look and I give him a tiny shake of my head.
“So is Iphi staying here with you guys again?” Nolan asks.
“She’s still at her mom’s. She’ll be sleeping there for a while.” I break off a piece of bread and roll it into a little ball.
“Why?” asks Nolan.
“She wants to salvage that relationship. It’s important to her.”
“Plus,” adds Caspian, “she still needs Aurelia to change Thorn back.”
Nolan wipes his hands on a napkin and slides off the barstool. He crosses to the living room window and looks out. “You’ve got a special girl there. I hope you both know that.”
The couch thumps behind us, one corner shoved forward into the coffee table. Thorn emerges from behind it and squawks. His cricket takes the chance to leap from his jaws once again, but Thorn ignores his escaping pray and flits back to the counter.
“Sorry, Thorn. My bad. I hope all three of you know that.”
“We do.” I finish licking the mustard off my fingers. “And she’s your special girl now too, Nolan. Iphi’s our family. You’re our family.”
He turns to look at me, unsmiling but not angry either. Just a little wistful. “Just like old times.”
What can I say to that? I wouldn’t want to be back on those New York streets for anything. We had each other and Nolan stayed with us for a long time, but every single day was a fight. We fought for food. We fought for shelter. We fought the elements. Freezing cold in the winters. Sweltering hot in the summers. Even so, I know the times he’s referring to. Before he left us. The time in our lives when nothing came between our pack. We looked out for each other because no one else did. Even now I know how lucky we were. But that kind of life, so hard and full of suffering, I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
“Is it cool if I go shower and change at your house?” Nolan asks.
“Always. Mi casa es su casa, bro.”
“Sweet. Catch ya guys in the morning. Maybe we can throw a ball or Frisbee around? Or better yet, maybe we could spar a little?”
I nod.
“If you don’t mind, I mean. If it’s not too much like work.”
“Nah, I love it. Any chance I get to practice my moves and have you and the guys practice yours, I’ll take it. Iphi could use a refresher too.”
Nolan walks to the front door. “Great, I’ll meet you in front when I’m done.”
I hold up my thumb and Nolan leaves.
As soon as the door closes, the escaped cricket chirps from behind the couch and Thorn leaps off the counter and toward the sound.
Caspian turns to me. “Do you think that Iphi and Dom . . .”
“Probably. Are you really going to be okay with it if they do?”
Caspian shakes his head. “I fucking hope so, dude. You?”
“It’s one thing to fantasize about something or mull it over in your head. Try it on, see how it fits . . .”
“. . . but the reality of it can be completely different,” Caspian finishes.
Thorn stalks the cricket with short, soundless strides like a cat, his head low to the ground, his mouth half open.
“When I imagine them together, intimately, I feel only happiness for Iphi but when I imagine him looking at her the way we do . . .” I toss my head. “That seems even more intimate. It’s deeper than a quick roll in the hay.”
Caspian sucks in a sharp breath. “Yeah, man.”
Thorn pounces on the creature, grasping it in his mouth and shaking it violently. Unbidden, an acute pang of sympathy for its plight rolls over me.
Chapter Thirty-One
Iphigenia
The next morning, Dominic and I are snuggling in bed, naked and content. We moved to his loft for round two last night, and waking up to him this morning was delicious. Lovemaking with him is . . . beyond the beyond. From the way we fit together to the way he reads my desires and responds to them. It’s an experience that even in my deepest fantasies I’d never imagined.
“Whatcha thinking about?” He brushes a curl out of my eye, lifting it up and placing it back in its proper place among the others.
I open my eyes to his deep green stare, the one that goes on for miles. Eyes that are clear, hiding nothing. If I stare long enough, I’m convinced I can see straight into his soul. I may already have.
“You.” I can’t hold back the smile and it radiates over my entire face.
“I like the way you’re looking at me.” He leans in to take another kiss and we embrace, intertwining our limbs, pressing our bodies lengthwise. I wrap my legs around one of his and he grows hard against my thigh.
Just when I’ve decided that yes, I can go again, I want to go again, with him—there’s a knock on his door.
“Shit.” He disentangles himself from me and grabs the sheet at the foot of the bed. As he wraps it around himself and pads down the ladder to the front door, I pull the remaining blanket close around me. “Who is it?”
“It’s me, Nolan.”
“Oh cool.” He glances back at me, and I sit up on the loft, dangling my legs over the edge and nodding.
Dom opens the door and stands aside so Nolan can enter. “Heya.”
Nolan takes a step inside, sniffs once and then looks between Dom and me. He steps back outside, onto the porch. “What the . . . ?”
“Iphi and I were just—”
“Well you were obviously doing more than talking.” Nolan peers down the length of his nose, pinning Dom with his somber eyes, then me. He flashes his fangs. “What the fuck, Iphigenia? I thought you loved my brothers. I thought you were their girl.”
His voice is rising, but Dom stands between us, jutting his chest forward and holding his hands up.
“They thought you two were in here talking!” Nolan yells. “Instead you were— you were— fucking!”
I huddle under the blanket, trying to make myself smaller. I’ve seen Nolan in attack mode before when he was being controlled by someone else. But I’ve never seen Nolan upset on his own, and it’s even more frightening.
He takes a step into the house, running into Dom’s palms. His cousin holds him there. “Nolan, it’s fine. Rhys and Caspian know what we were doing. They gave us their blessing.”
Nolan sighs and his shoulders hunch. He swings his gaze back to Dom, who stands a few inches taller. “Of all of them, you’re the one I thought cared more about the pack than a piece of ass.”
My eyes widen. An ugly, hurtful, sexist truth.
Dom pushes Nolan, hard, and he slams his back against the side of the gaping door. “Do not call her that!”
The sound of running feet precedes Caspian’s appearance, Rhys behind him and Thorn perched on Rhys’s shoulder. “Hey, dude.” Cas shoves himself between Dominic and Nolan, facing his brother. “What the hell’s going on?”
“Why don’t you ask her?” Nolan points to me and Cas’s eyes turn my way.
I pull the blanket tighter around my body.
Rhys pushes past the cluster at
the door and crosses to me in a couple of strides. “Come down here, sweetheart. It’s okay.”
I allow him to coax me down the ladder, and once my feet hit the floor, he throws his arm around me and pulls me to the couch. Thorn jumps into my lap and peers up at me.
Nolan sags against the wall. “So that’s how it is then?”
“Nolan,” I say and he turns to me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. As sad as an abandoned puppy left in the snow to find its own way to warmth and safety.
He pins Rhys with his stare. “You’re all sharing her?”
“Just last night you said you were cool with me and Cas sharing her and you wouldn’t judge.” Rhys pets my back, moving the flat of his palm over me in strong, circular motions.
“This isn’t about judging, Rhys,” Nolan spits out, his fists clenching at his sides. “This is about me being the last to know the truth. You both had the opportunity to tell me that Dom’s included too, but neither of you did. You’re always treating me like the outsider, pushing me away as though I’m not worthy enough to be part of your pack.”
“It’s not like that,” Rhys says. “We’ve always considered you part of the pack. It was your choice . . .”
“You’re never going to put that aside. You’re always going to throw that in my face whenever it suits you. What happened to ‘we’ve all done things we regret’?”
Rhys, Cas and Dom exchange glances, but no one speaks.
“Fine, if you’re not letting it go, let’s have it out now. I left because you made me feel like an outsider then and you’re still doing it.”
“We kept an eye on you.” Dom’s voice is soft. “But you were caught up in that lifestyle and didn’t want our help.”
“How the hell do you know? Did you ever ask me? Trailing me in one of your shifts is not the same as showing up, looking me in the eyes and asking me.”
“Would you have said yes? Would you have come back with us?” Rhys asks.
Nolan looks down at his feet. “We’ll never know.”
Poor Nolan. He hates himself, can’t they see that? No, they can’t. They love him and are blinded to his needs by that love.
“Hey, man.” Caspian puts a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go outside and talk about this, okay?”
Caspian leads him out, his hand soft on the man’s shoulder. He casts a glance back to me and Rhys, then to Dom, who nods at him once.
As soon as they’re gone, we all slump. Even Thorn, who finally lies down on my lap.
“Well that was awkward,” I say.
“So is this.” Rhys looks me up and down. Oh, right. I’m only wearing a blanket.
“Rhys—” But he gets up.
“Come on, Thorn, let’s give them some privacy.” He holds out his arm and the dragon grumbles, looking between him and Dom, then hops on his shoulder like a trusty parrot.
“Wait, you don’t have to go,” I say.
“Yeah, we do.” Rhys heads out the door without even glancing at Dominic.
Rhys’s emotions are loud. He’s trying not be jealous, but he is. He wonders where his place is in all of this. He fears I’m fickle.
I want to jump up and yell at him. Why would he think that?
Dominic shuts the door behind him and comes back to the couch. He sits next to me, looks down at the rug and sighs.
Caspian
I’m throwing a Frisbee with Thorn when Iphi and Dominic emerge from the Palace with matching wet hair. A little pang of nausea surges through my stomach. They spent the whole night together, and now he got to take a freaking shower with her?
Rhys and Nolan stop sparring and look up too, watching as the pair crosses the field toward us.
Rhys bounces from leg to leg. I scrub my face with both hands, darting my eyes to her face and then away. No one knows how to act now that she’s added Dom to the mix. Whatever. It is what it is.
Iphi approaches Rhys first, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing her body into his. I look away a few beats after she kisses him hard and long. Lucky fuck.
I throw the Frisbee back to Thorn, who flaps up to catch it in his mouth.
My eyes blur with sudden fatigue. I have to be the bigger man here. I get it. I said I was fine with all of this and I can’t go back on my word now. When I look up to see if Thorn’s thrown the Frisbee back, I jump a little, finding Iphi in front of me.
Just like that, fatigue disappears. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pick her up and spin her around, her legs flying out behind her. She seems to approve, judging by her screeches and giggles. When I put her down, she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me.
“Are we good?” she whispers in my ear.
I won’t lie. “I hope so.”
“We can make this work. You’ll see.”
But what if she’s wrong? No, Cas, don’t think that way. You’ve shared before. But this one is different. This one I’m in love with.
She pulls away and goes to Dominic. He hesitates, then bends down, framing her face with his hands and staring into her eyes. Then he mashes his GQ-worthy face against hers and the urge to upchuck returns.
“Fuck,” Rhys says. “I . . .”
“Jesus,” Nolan butts in. “This is too much for me to watch.”
Dom and Iphi stop and look up. “I’m sorry,” Iphi turns to Nolan. “That was really rude of me.”
“Understatement.” Nolan shakes his head, looking between each of his brothers. “Why aren’t any of you concerned that sharing Iphigenia will tear us apart? It looks like that’s happening already.”
Dominic flinches.
“It’s not that simple, Nolan,” I say.
“It’s not? You’re all in love with the same girl and she’s in love with all of you but you’re still not happy. Each one you wants her for yourself and now it looks like Cas and Rhys against Dom. How is that not tearing the pack apart?”
Dominic opens and closes his mouth once before saying, “They’re having an instinctual reaction. It’s completely normal.”
Nolan snorts. “Nothing about this is normal.” He stomps off the field, into the Cliff.
Rhys walks over to me. “I know how he feels,” I say to him.
“What’s going on, guys?” Iphi asks. “We talked about this. I thought you were both fine with it.”
“When it was just theoretical, sure.” Rhys looks at her. “But knowing you two have been together . . .”
“Yeah,” I agree. “With me and Rhys, we were both together the first couple of times.”
“We don’t have to imagine what happened, we know,” says Rhys.
“And you two have shared before. You know each other’s bedroom moves.” She brushes her hands down her pants. “Maybe that’s it?”
Rhys shakes his head. “It’s different with you. We love you.”
Echoing my thoughts as usual. “We weren’t in love with anyone else. Plus you’re different.”
“You are. On every level. You’re the perfect girl.” Rhys sighs, then straightens, like what’s coming next will be a bomb. “For all of us.”
I gnaw the inside of my cheek. She is the perfect girl for all of us, even Thorn. But what does that mean? That we get to pass her around like a lollipop? She’s so much more than I can articulate. She means the world to me.
Dominic finally speaks. “Do you guys want to go inside and talk about this?”
“No,” says Rhys. “I think Iphi should check on Nolan, make sure he’s okay. The three of us can talk out here.” He looks at Iphi, shoulders tense.
“I think that’s a good idea,” she says. “Nolan’s fragile right now. He needs some TLC.”
“Alone?” I take a step forward. “I don’t like it.”
Iphi puts her hand on my arm, gentle but firm. “If he sees that you guys don’t trust him, that could push him back over the edge. Let me do this. I’ll be right there. The front door is in your view.”
“All right,” I nod, “you’re right. Nolan needs our trust right
now.”
“He’s not going to hurt her,” Rhys says.
Dom shifts on his feet. “How can you be sure?”
Rhys shakes his head slowly. “Because I won’t either. He has Iphi’s amulet. Her spell released me, and she cast a ward over the Grove. We really need to give him the benefit of the doubt. And right now, it’s Iphigenia’s call.”
“Thank you.” She keeps her hand on my arm and reaches out to touch Rhys, but he pulls away. The pain in his eyes is palpable.
“I’m sorry, I can’t right now. Let us try and figure it out.”
“Okay.” Her voice is quiet, resigned, but she looks up at me with wide eyes and I nod.
We walk to the Cliff together and I stop outside the porch and turn to her, placing my hands on her shoulders. “If anything happens. If he makes you uncomfortable. Anything, even if it’s just a feeling you get and he hasn’t done anything to act on it, you scream, you run, you shout. Hear me?”
She nods and stands on her tiptoes to kiss me. “I promise.”
As she disappears inside the house, I can’t stop watching the door while my brothers watch me from halfway across the field. Thorn flies up and lands next to me, cocking his head toward the door.
“You got this?” I ask him and he squawks once. “If anything happens, and I mean anything, you do what you need to do. Okay, man?”
Another squawk.
I pat his spiny head and return to my brothers while Thorn flies around to the back of the house.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Iphigenia
I stand in the living room, taking a moment to prepare myself to listen to Nolan. His emotions are pounding against my heart, but my head is still filled with the pain in Rhys’s eyes. I don’t think I can be with just one or two of them, I need them all. What kind of self-obsessed ass does that make me? Focus on Nolan right now, Iphi.
Nolan sits still at the kitchen counter, his head down over a cup of steaming tea.
“Sorry I made a huge scene out there. I’m worried about my brothers. I like you and I think you’re good for them but . . .” He looks up, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I can’t see us torn apart again. Maybe I’m the one who’s still the problem. Forever the outcast.”