Imperfect Love (Heart 0f Hope Book 4)

by Ajme Williams

  “Here they are.”

  He changed positions, laying me back and straddling my stomach and pointing his dick toward my breasts. “You like watching me stroke my cock?”

  “Yes.”

  He slid his hand along his length. “Can I fuck them a few times?”

  I pushed them together and he slid his dick between them.

  “That’s so fucking sexy.”

  I watched him, wanting to take in every nuance of pleasure and emotion that showed on his face. The way his breathing quickened and how he groaned when I stuck my tongue out and lapped his tip as it slid up through my breasts.

  “I’m gonna come…fuck so hard…” He levered back, gripping his dick with his hand, he went to town, stroking the length and then jerked at the top, before stroking again.

  “Here it comes…” He let out a long moan as his seed burst from him and coated my chest.

  I ran my fingers through it, marveling how this, along with my eggs, had created two beautiful lives.

  He let out a final shuddering breath as he sat back on his heels. He gave me a crooked smile. “I made a mess.”

  “You did.”

  He reached over to side table to grab a tissue and wiped me up.

  “Do you ever marvel at how this goop made our kids?”

  He let out a laugh. “I think your eggs did the heaving lifting on that.”

  He tossed the tissue into the trash can next to the side table and then pulled me close.

  “Do you ever think about having more kids?” It was a ridiculous question because up until today, we’d barely talked anymore.

  “I hadn’t, but I hadn’t ruled it out either.” He looked at me. “Is it a possibility?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He kissed my temple. “I’m blissfully happy with you and the two we have. You’re all I need.”

  “If I died, and you remarried, would you have more?”

  “Fuck, Terra.” Irritation flared and I felt bad for ruining a lovely moment. “My life would be over if you died.”

  I rested my head on his chest. “You need to be there for the kids.”

  “I’m going to say this and then we’re not going to talk about it anymore tonight, alright? You’re going to fight this and we’re going to raise these kids to rule the world, and then you and I will spend our sunset years in rocking chairs. You have to think like that.”

  I nodded. “Do you think we’ll still be having sex during our sunset years?”

  His body relaxed. “Yes.”

  I settled in next to him, deciding I needed to take my own advice and simply savor the moment. I was laying next to a sexy man who loved me. I didn’t know what would happen in the future, but this moment was perfect.

  15

  Brayden

  I woke when the heat of Terra’s body left mine.

  I reached out and put my arm around her, tugging her back to me. “Where are you going?”

  “I was going to put on clothes in case the kids come in.”

  I lifted my hand to see the time on my watch. It was just after three in the morning. I put my arm around her again and pulled her to me, spooning my body around hers.

  “Not yet.” I kissed her shoulder. I think I was still partly asleep, but my dick was well awake, which was strange considering the workout he’d been given hours earlier.

  She didn’t resist and settled against me, her ass pressing on my dick. “You’re awake I see.”

  “I’m not sure that he ever went to sleep. He can’t seem to get enough of you.” I slid my hand down her belly to the curls between her thighs. I gently rubbed a finger over her clit and then through her pussy. She let out a satisfied sigh.

  There in the darkness of our room, I took my time caressing her pussy as I kissed her neck. When she was wet, I lifted her leg and slid my dick to her opening. Her body arched, as if she was offering her pussy to me. I pressed my hips forward, sliding inside her wet heat from behind. Our joint sighs filled the room.

  I hadn’t realized just how much I missed Terra until tonight. It wasn’t just the sex, but the feeling of being a part of her. The first time I slid inside her, I finally felt whole again.

  I wasn’t sure what was going to happen after tonight. I sure as hell was going to work to do better, not just because she needed me in sickness, but because I loved her and didn’t want to lose her. Not to cancer. Not to divorce.

  Seeped inside her, I held her for a moment. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For not leaving. For meeting me in the middle. For…well for everything.”

  She turned her head back to look at me. “I wouldn’t have left. That was just…I don’t know. It was a bad day I guess.”

  I wanted to tell her there would be no more bad days, but with cancer treatment on the horizon, I figured I couldn’t make that promise. But I could vow to be a better husband.

  “I’m going to do better.” I leaned in to kiss her.

  “It wasn’t just you. I’ll do better too.” Her hand snaked back and wrapped around my neck. “Now make me come because I’m burning up.”

  “Whatever you want, baby.” I rocked my hips forward and back, using my finger to gently flick over her clit. I was close to the edge. I gritted my teeth to hold off. I focused on the feel of her body around mine. Her breathing. The light sheen of perspiration on her skin.

  “Oh…Brayden…” She moaned and her body went taut. Only then, as her pussy convulsed around my dick, did I let go and let my orgasm wash through me.

  Later, as I lay in the dark with Terra sound asleep next to me, I worked through how I was going to be able to redo my schedule. Before, I was working to make sure I made it home by dinner, but now, I’d need to take more time off to help Terra with her appointments and take care of the kids. She needed me and I wanted to be there, but with the new cloud security system so close to completion, I was lost on how to eek out more time at home.

  I woke a few hours later. The house was dark and quiet. Terra slept peacefully next to me. I hated that the night was over. I wanted to stay home, but if I was going to be taking time away from work, I needed to get the business issues delegated.

  “Is it morning already?” Terra’s sleepy voice asked as I rolled out of bed.

  “Sleep in, honey. I’ll get the kids ready and off to school.”

  “You’re spoiling me.” Her lips lifted into a sweet smile.

  I took a quick shower and for once, my dick was in resting mode. Not that he wouldn’t be ready in a moments notice if Terra joined me, but he was quite satisfied from the night before.

  I’ve met other men who often felt like their wives didn’t do anything at home but spend their money. Whenever I took over household or kid duties, I was reminded that Terra’s job was harder than mine. Getting myself ready for work, and then kids up, fed, backpacks filled, and off to school was a feat.

  “Where’s mommy?” Lanie asked as I helped her with her backpack.

  “She’s sleeping in today.”

  “Is she sick?” Noah’s little face looked up at me.

  “No.” I supposed that was a lie, but I was certain he meant did she have a cold or flu. “She just deserves a break, don’t you think? She’s always running around doing stuff for us. We should give her some time off every now and then.”

  When they were all dressed, hair combed, teeth brushed, fed, and ready for school, I told them to wait by the door while I let their mom know we were heading out.

  Terra was in the shower when I reached her. Hot water sluiced over her skin and I wanted to get out of my suit and join her.

  “Can you join me?” she asked.

  “I wish. The kids are waiting for me to take them to school.” Even so, I reached out and tweaked her nipple.

  “Then you’ll be back? I can wait.”

  I wanted to. I wanted to spend a day with her, just her, more than I wanted anything else. “I need to go to work today.”

  I hated how
her smile dropped, but she quickly masked her disappointment. “Yes, of course.”

  “I need to get some things in order so I can take more time off for…well…”

  “I understand.”

  Inside, my gut was roiling.

  “Really, Brayden. I understand. You can’t just stop showing up.”

  “I just need to get things sorted.” As it was, I didn’t see how I could simply walk away altogether, but there had to be a way to reduce the time I was there now.

  “Yes, it’s okay. I’ll call Emma for lunch.”

  She was saying all the right things, but it felt like we were slipping back to our corners. I realized that the only way I could prove to her that I wasn’t reverting to old behavior was through action.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I know. Thank you for last night. It was wonderful.”

  Not caring that my suit would get wet, I reached in and pulled her to me. “There will be more like that in our future. I promise.”

  “I look forward to it,” she said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “The kids will be looking for you soon. I can drive them—”

  “No. I’ll take them. You enjoy your day. I kissed her and then with profound regret, I left her to drive the kids to school.

  On the way, I replayed the events of the last twenty-four hours, especially around Terra’s news about her cancer. On the one hand, it sounded like her doctor was optimistic about treatment, but she had a doomsday sense about her. Was it based on intuition? Fear? Her mother died of cancer, so maybe that was making her feel less positive. Whatever the reason, I needed to do what I could to make sure she got the best treatment possible.

  Once at the office, instead of figuring out how to delegate my work, I researched cancer treatment options for stage three breast cancer. What she described as her doctor’s plan seemed to fit what I found online, including success rates.

  “Hey Bray,” Kyle said poking his head into my office. He studied me like he was trying to figure out my mood. I supposed I acted strangely yesterday, giving him cause to wonder about me.

  “Come in,” I said with a wave of my hand. “Close the door behind you.”

  He stepped in and closed the door. He took a seat in one of the chairs in front of my desk. “Everything alright with you?”

  “Yes and no.”

  He cocked his head to the side. “Johanna suggested that you and the missus weren’t getting along.”

  I couldn’t fault Johanna for hearing me and Terra fight, but I didn’t need her spreading the word around the office.

  “I don’t pay her to gossip.”

  Kyle held his hands up in surrender. “It wasn’t like that. I asked her what was going on after you ran off. That’s it.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose as the weight of what was happening to Terra bore down on me. “Terra has cancer. Stage three.”

  “What? Jesus…is that bad? Well…yeah cancer is bad…but stage three is that—”

  “I’m not sure. My research suggests its serious but treatable. Terra seems to feel less certain.”

  “If I had cancer, I’d probably feel like that,” Kyle said.

  “Maybe. I can’t lose her, Kyle.”

  “No, of course not. What can I do?”

  Kyle had started with the company shortly after Terra and I founded it. He’d been an intern in his senior year of college, and worked for us part-time as he finished grad school. We hired him full time when Lanie was born and Terra decided she wanted to be an at-home mom.

  For the most part, he’d been able to take over her duties. But being the control nut that I was, I’d taken over many areas that I hadn’t been able to hand over to Kyle. The idea of turning over more duties made me uncomfortable, but that had more to do with me than Kyle’s ability.

  “I’m going to need you take over more responsibilities while she’s in treatment. I need to be there for her.”

  He nodded. “Just tell me what.”

  That was the hard part. As I went through all my duties, I found it hard to choose the ones I could turn over.

  “I’m working on that now.”

  “What about the cloud project. Word has gotten out and we have two offers.”

  That concerned me. I didn’t need our competition knowing what we were doing. “How did word get out?”

  Kyle shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Are the offers for licenses?” Maybe it was just companies wanting to use our product.

  Kyle shook his head. “For the company.”

  My eyes narrowed. “The company? They want to buy the business?”

  “Yep.” His face turned excited. “What we’ve got here is something everyone wants.”

  “We’re not the first cloud security system.”

  “No, but we’re the best and most innovative.” He gave me a look like I should know better. And he was right. What made this project exciting was how different it was from existing platforms.

  “We’re not even in beta testing yet.” It was a good sign that there was an interest in the project even before it had been fully tested.

  “Next week that will start. That bug I told you about yesterday was fixed.” He waggled his fingers. “Yours truly has magic fingers.”

  One of the reasons I liked Kyle was that his background was like mine; degrees in computer science and business. He understood our products and services, as well as how to make money from them. So, I should have felt steadier about giving him more responsibility, but unease still gripped my gut.

  “That’s good news. I’m not planning to sell. And I suspect anyone who was serious about buying would have come to me. My guess is that they’re just feeling out the progress of the program. Keep a tight handle on all that. We don’t want it getting out until we’re ready.”

  “Okay.”

  “I need to trust you on this, Kyle. Not that I don’t trust you, but I need to know you’re up to taking on more responsibility.”

  “You don’t have to worry. If I get stuck, I’ll confer with you.”

  I nodded. I didn’t have much choice. I had to hope that he could run the ship that Terra and I had built. If he faltered, though, a lot could be lost. I didn’t need a failed business while my wife was being treated for cancer.

  16

  Terra

  I don’t know why I was feeling disappointed. Of course, Brayden needed to go to work. I couldn’t expect him to drop everything to be with me without proper preparation at the office. It was unfair of me to want that. It wasn’t like I could drop my work, raising the kids, to be with him. We each had responsibilities. The best we could do was make sure we didn’t forget us again.

  He said he was going to work on making more time, which I knew would be hard. Brayden wasn’t a control freak, but he did have trouble allowing others to into his domain. His need to be in the mix of everything wasn’t about control as much as it was about feeling secure. He wasn’t distrusting necessarily, but he had difficulty letting go of responsibilities for fear they wouldn’t be done right. I suppose that’s what made him so good in business. But it was also part of what got between us.

  I should probably feel glad that he felt complete trust in me to deal with the kids and home, including our bills. That suggested he had faith and confidence in me. He’d done the same when we worked together to build the business.

  A part of me thought that I should have begun working for the company part time when Noah started at full-day pre-k. It would have given me more time with Brayden, and probably prevented our estrangement. Now, it was too late for that. Now the focus was on my cancer.

  I stood in front of the bathroom mirror after getting out of the shower and studied my body. Once, I’d been lean, nearly boyish. Now I was rounder, softer, but last night Brayden acted like I had the sexiest body on earth. I cupped my breasts, remembering how he’d loved them. Would he lose his interest in me if they had to go? I knew I could have reconstructive surgery if ultimately, I
had to have a mastectomy, but that wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be these breasts.

  I shook my head, not wanting to wallow in self-pity. Like Brayden, I needed to get my life in order. Chemotherapy would wipe me out physically, so I needed to figure out how to care for the kids and home when I was too tired or sick to do it.

  I called Emma to ask her for lunch. She’d have ideas and tips on how to manage through cancer treatment as she’d been through it with her husband. I wondered if maybe that was cruel to ask her to go back to that dark time in her life. On the other hand, she was the one person I trusted to help me get my life in order to deal with this.

  We met at a little bistro café near Pike’s Place. She ordered the soup and sandwich, while I ordered a soup and salad.

  “So…how did last night go?” Her eyes gleamed. “Brayden couldn’t take his eyes off you in that dress. I’m patting myself on the back for getting it for you.”

  I couldn’t stop the smile as the night I spent with Brayden came back to me.

  “I know that look.” She waggled her eyebrows. “You two reconnected…horizontally.”

  I laughed. “Yes.” I sighed. “It was wonderful. He’s…he’s really trying.”

  “It’s hard to take the work out of a workaholic, but he loves you, Terra.”

  “I know.” All of a sudden, a wave of sadness welled up as I considered how it would be for him if cancer treatment didn’t work. I couldn’t imagine losing him. Even when I’d talked to a lawyer about what was involved in a divorce, I couldn’t actually picture myself not being with him.

  “Hey? What’s wrong?” Emma put her hand over mine.

  I looked up at her through watery eyes. “I have cancer.”

  Her eyes blinked like she wasn’t sure she heard me. “What?”