by Brook Wilder
“Who’s Kayla?”
He shook his head, wondering how to explain. He just went with the plain truth. “My ex.”
“And why are you thinking about her?”
There was tension to her voice that he hated, even though she had no cause to worry. He wouldn’t get back together with Kayla, not even is someone offered to pay him a million dollars.
“Kayla was… is one of the most selfish people I’ve ever met,” Tex said slowly, trying to make her understand. “She was just using me. To be fair, I was using her too, but… I thought she loved me. I thought we loved each other, but we were just using each other. She was toxic.”
Lori turned to look at him, her hazel gaze indiscernible. “That still didn’t answer my question.”
How could he explain? How could he tell her that he was glad, actually glad, that it was her who was pregnant with his child instead of the woman he’d nearly married.
“I just think that… that I’m lucky, that’s all,” Tex finally said, struggling for the right words. “I think I’m lucky that things didn’t work out, lucky that I found you.”
It all came out in a rush and Lori’s expression softened. She slid her palm against his cheek, tilting his face back to meet hers.
“I think maybe I’m the lucky one,” Lori whispered, the words so soft that he could barely hear them.
But he felt them all the way to his bones. Emotion threatened to overwhelm him once more at the look in her eyes and he leaned forward to kiss her.
His lips moved over hers, soft and gentle, taking their time as he explored her, tasted her. In seconds the kiss deepened to something darker and needier, desire once more flaring inside him as if he hadn’t just taken her. He already wanted her all over again.
Tex pulled her closer, angling his head so he could tease her with his tongue. But after a moment Lori pushed him away. Granted, her hands were shaking and there wasn’t enough strength behind the shove to move a kitten, but still…
Tex slowed, pulling back. He looked down at her with heat and a question in his eyes.
Lori let out a trembling laugh. “If you start that again, we’ll never get out of this bed.”
“There’s nothing wrong that,” Tex said with a shrug, completely unabashed and more than willing to spend the rest of the day with her without taking a single step outside of the bedroom.
It was obvious, though, that Lori had other ideas. She slid out of the bed just before he could reach for her and pull her back against his already hardening body.
“I am going to get dressed, and then…” She paused, cupping her hands over her middle as her expression grew serious. “Then we have to figure out what the hell we’re going to do.”
Chapter 3
Lori pulled on her dress, grabbing her sweater as she walked out of the room without looking back. She knew that, if she did, she’d be forgetting all about thinking about the future and crawling right back in bed with Tex.
She huffed out a startled breath at the image of him that appeared in her mind. Tex, naked, reclining in her bed as he stared at her with those dark green hungry eyes.
She pulled the sweater over her head, trying to get her wayward body and even more wayward thoughts under control. She reached for the coffee pot, measuring out three scoops from the canister and filled the tank.
She stood, staring blankly as the coffee pot gurgled and hissed on the kitchen counter, her thoughts a million miles away. Or, more specifically, a few feet away, with the man who had completely swept her off her feet.
Her whole body was still shaking as she thought about Tex. About what he had said and about what he hadn’t said. All of a sudden, she was fighting tears all over again.
Damn pregnancy hormones. She hated crying, and now it seems like that was all she ever did. The smallest thing set her off.
Lori tried to pull herself together, sniffling back the tears as she reached for her favorite mug. It was gold and glittery and had bitch please written in script across the front. It had been a gift from Carrie.
She filled it with the freshly brewed coffee and was about to take a sip when, suddenly, Tex’s strong arms wrapped around her, snatching the cup out of her hands.
“Caffeine isn’t good for the baby,” Tex said with an unabashed shrug.
He just grinned when she rolled her eyes up at him, but then she gave in with a sigh. She wondered why it made her feel so warm and fuzzy inside, his concern for her and their growing child.
“Don’t worry. It’s decaf,” she said, taking it back and drinking the hot liquid with a grimace. It wasn’t regular coffee, but at least it was better than nothing. There was a lot she was going to have to get used to over the next eight months. She hoped the rest would be easier for her to give up.
Those pesky tears were back, and Lori fought them off as hard as she could as Tex poured a cup for himself. But when she turned around his face fell. She knew he could see the moisture glimmering unshed in her eyes, but there wasn’t anything she could do to stem the tide.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He swiped a rogue tear from her cheek, his expression sobering as he stepped close.
“It’s just…everything, Tex. Everything that’s happened. With Gears, with the drugs and the gangs. I’m in the Grim Riders and you’re a Devil’s Martyr… How can we bring a baby into all of that? I just don’t know… I don’t know what we’re going to do.”
Tex looked down at her with those serious green eyes of his and it was all Lori could do not to let the tears burst free.
“I know exactly what we’re going to do, sweetheart,” Tex said, his voice gentle but full of a surety that reassured her when nothing else had over the past month, “We are going to take that money that I brought and move far, far away from here. Far enough away from the gangs that we get out of this life. We can give our baby a good life. Without drugs or violence. Away from all this shit.”
Tears choked Lori’s throat, making it almost impossible to speak. Jesus, she really had to get a better handle on her emotions. They were completely out of control. But the image that Tex painted was so beautiful that she wanted it with every fiber of her being.
Tex could see the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her and didn’t hesitate to pull her close into his arms. He held her like that, so tight against him it was hard for her to breathe, but it was exactly what she needed.
“I always wanted to live somewhere that snowed in the winters,” Lori said softly after a long time. Tex was still holding her as they stood in the middle of her tiny kitchen. “A white Christmas. Doesn’t that sound nice?”
Tex looked down at her and she could see the same dream reflected in his eyes.
“That sounds wonderful.”
Neither let go of the other, both of their minds wandering. After another moment, Tex spoke, his voice almost a whisper.
“What do think it’s going to be, a boy or a girl?”
Lori looked up at him, surprised. She had worried for weeks how he would react to learning that he was going to be a father, but so far all of her guesses had been way off the mark. She had thought he’d be angry, or scared off, or belligerent, but he sounded nearly excited.
“I don’t know,” she answered after a minute, laying her head against his, marveling at this man who had crashed into her life at the worst possible time. But maybe, just maybe he was the reason it all felt bearable.
“I hope it’s a girl,” he said. “A little girl with blond hair.”
“And green eyes.” Lori added shyly, looking up at him with a soft smile. “Just like her father.”
Chapter 4
“Do you have to go to a doctor? What kind of doctor takes care of pregnant ladies? Or have you already gone to see one? Maybe we should get some books or… something.” Tex trailed off as he noticed Lori’s grin.
She still couldn’t believe how quickly he’d taken to the idea. It had taken her weeks of fretting and stress to come to terms with the fact that she was goin
g to be a mother. In fact, she was still wrestling with it.
She’d never had a mother growing up. The only thing she’d had was her drunk of a father and he had certainly been no role model. No, this was something she would have to figure out on her own.
Lori glanced over at Tex, who was busy tearing through the meager food she had stocked in her kitchen cabinets. He’d started on a rampage after mumbling something about making sure she was eating enough for the baby.
All she could do was stand there, shaking her head in amusement. He wasn’t going to find much. Some of her humor faded. With the cuts to her paycheck and the way Gears had been getting every time she left the house, she hadn’t even been to the grocery store since the week before.
Lori glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was staring at the back of a can of vegetable soup she’d been meaning to have for dinner and muttering to himself. Maybe, just maybe, that would all change now that he was here.
As Tex made them food with whatever he could scrounge, Lori let herself lean back against the kitchen counter, content to just watch him. She was struck by how normal it was. The two of them, chatting about their plans and making dinner together as if this is what they did every day instead of for the first time. It was… nice.
Lori swallowed a sudden kernel of fear. It was a little too nice. She was afraid of just how easy it would be to get used to this. Used to Tex. She knew his type. The love ’em and leave ’em type. Not the type to stick around for the long haul. You could be wrong, a small, hopeful voice whispered from the back of her mind.
She shook the thought off as he set two plates out. They didn’t match, and one was chipped, but neither of them minded.
Refusing to give in to the doubts that were circling her mind like vultures, Lori took a seat at her tiny, two-person kitchen table and waited impatiently as Tex finished cooking and brought the plates over. He placed one in front of Lori and she had to bite back a grin.
Tex had worked with the meager ingredients she’d had on hand and what he’d come up with was an odd mix of vegetable soup with a side of scrambled eggs. Even still, she took a bite gladly, smiling across the table at him as they ate.
“Thanks. I don’t get cooked for very often.”
“That’s because a mouse wouldn’t survive on what you have in the house,” Tex said with a grumble in his voice. Lori tried to shrug it off.
“Gears, uh, he cut my hours at the club and raised my rent, so I haven’t been making that much money. And he’s been pretty awful about me leaving, so…” She trailed off, not noticing the dangerous light that flickered to life in Tex’s green eyes.
“Never again.”
“What?” Lori said, looking up at him with confusion in her eyes.
“You won’t ever have to deal with him alone again, Lori. I promise that.”
“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep, Tex,” Lori started to say but he cut her off, shaking his head firmly.
“I promise. And I mean every word.”
Despite her doubts, his promise settled somewhere deep inside, making her feel warm and comforted. They shared the moment together. But, no matter what, she couldn’t keep her worries at bay.
“What are we going to do?” Lori asked after several minutes of silence. She pushed her plate away as she faced Tex. “I want… I want to give out baby a better life than I had. I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a good mother,” It hurt Lori to have to admit it, but it was the truth. She didn’t know what it meant to be a good mother, “but I am going to fight like hell to try and give this baby the best life I can. I have to try.”
Tex reached over the tiny table and grabbed her hand, holding it in his. He looked at their clasped hands for a long moment without saying a word as he traced idle shapes against her skin with his thumb. It sent shivers down her spine all over again. He was too much for her to take. All he had to do was brush his finger across the back of her hand to get her thinking about tripping into bed again. But then he started talking.
“When I was in the border town, I was able to make a contact. His name is Marco.” Tex finally glanced over at her and there was a fierce light burning in his eyes. “He’s a connection to Solomon. Marco said that he works with the man personally, and he might be willing to get us in touch with him.”
“Tex, that’s… that’s great!” Lori stuttered, surprised at the news, although she knew she shouldn’t be. She looked at his face and could easily read the trepidation in his expression. “Right? It’s great, right?”
“The kingpin is responsible for supplying not just the Devils Martyrs, but the Grim Riders as well. If we get in the middle of that, it might make things harder for us. On the other hand, if I can get a hold of my contact, he might be able to talk Solomon into a deal with us. We could make enough money in a month or two to get out of this life for good.”
“You think it would work?” Lori asked and Tex shrugged.
“I think it’s the best shot we’ve got.”
“And you’re… You’re okay with that?” Lori bit her lower lip nervously at the second question. “You’re okay with leaving the gang behind? They are your family.”
Tex didn’t hesitate before tugging her closer with the hand he still held, not stopping until he had pulled her into his lap. Lori let out a breathless laugh, but then he wrapped his arms around her, his big hands resting protectively over her belly.
“I’m about to have a new family.” Tex whispered the words and, that close, Lori could see every speck of emotion that lit his bright green eyes.
“I just don’t want you to resent…”
“Hush. I won’t.” Tex silenced her with a finger across her lips, “I… I want this, Lori.” He sounded as surprised as she felt, but she didn’t say anything as he went on. “I never really thought about life beyond the gang. But, when I think about moving away with you, getting a little house that we can share…” He paused, scowling at her diminutive kitchen, “Maybe not quite this little.” Lori chuckled but Tex’s expression was serious. “Thinking about watching our kid play in the front yard. It makes me… I don’t know, happy I guess.” Tex gave an embarrassed shrug, shaking his head, “But we can’t have that here. We’ll never be safe. Not like this.”
“I know.” Lori sighed, leaning against his chest. “We’ll make a better life for our baby, Tex.”
“Yes, we will.” There was a promise in Tex’s voice that warmed Lori all the way through. She was more than happy to stay there, just like that, still held in Tex’s arms. For the first time in a long time, she actually felt safe and like, maybe, everything would actually turn out alright after all. As long as she and Tex could tackle things together, they could take on anything. Together.
Tex swept a hand along her jaw, slowly tilting her face back up to his. There was a small, lopsided grin hanging on one corner of his mouth and an expression on his face that she’d never seen before.
“You really are incredible, you know that?” His whisper was hoarse and gravelly.
Lori just shrugged, biting back a grin of her own.
“I know.”
Tex let out a rough laugh, tickling her lips with his breath before kissing her.
The sudden pounding at her front door made them both jump, and all the fear that Tex had kept hidden at bay came rushing back.
“Who the hell…” Tex started angrily, but Lori stopped him as the pounding came again.
“I know you’re in there, Lori! I know you are, you bitch. Just open the fucking door!” Gears furious voice shattered unmistakably through the tiny house.
Lori shot a wide-eyed look at Tex. He returned it with an angry scowl and in that moment all she could imagine was all the terrible things Gears would do if he discovered that Tex was there. He’d been so unstable the last few weeks, getting worse and worse with each passing day. He truly believed that Lori was his property, that he owned her. And he would never let another man touch what he thought was his.
More
pounding rattled the front door on its hinges and for a second Lori worried he would break down the damn thing. Panic skittered through her body and she jumped to her feet. She had to do something. She had to figure a way out of this. She just had to think.
But she couldn’t calm down. Her thoughts raced out of control and her whole body had started shaking uncontrollably.
And then Tex was there, wrapping his strong arms around her, holding her tight against his chest and whispering into her hair.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay Lori. We’ll figure this out. I’ll deal with Gears once and for all. You just stay right here, and I’ll deal with him.”