by A. Marie
He nods, shrugging a little too nonchalantly. “I used some old parts I had lying around from my first dirt bike.”
I can’t hide the disbelief from my voice. “You made that?” When he nods again, I say, “It’s beautiful. Do you always make these or something?”
His eyebrows crease and he shakes his head softly. “I, uh, no, this is the only one. I made it for you.”
I step into his space making him lean his head back to meet my stare.
“Why?”
Eyes searching mine, he says, “You’re my dream catcher and I thought you should have your own.”
My breath catches in my throat. I didn’t think he knew.
“If you don’t like it, I can take it-”
“No,” I gasp out, catching his arm. “I love it. I love it all,” I tell him honestly, gesturing around the room that I’m just now realizing has a black-out shade that wasn’t there before on the window along with a noise machine in the corner. I’ve always hated wearing ear plugs and an eye mask just to sleep but never even thought about an alternative.
Beckett did though. He put in a lot of thought for not only my comfort but my overall well-being. Like I matter.
My old apartment was decorated in similar tones but I like what he did here better. He took the smallest details from my personality while adding in his own twists to make a perfect blend for stylish simplicity.
Standing silently, I give him a once-over through new eyes. It’s like seeing him for the first time all over again but instead of the ever-pouting brat I once saw, I see a man with more depth than I could’ve ever anticipated.
Afraid of falling, of drowning in my own helplessness, I was so worried about where I’d land, I never thought to look around on the way down. Had I stopped to check my surroundings, I would’ve noticed Beckett treading his own waters, fighting against another current. And through the pain and hurt he’s been living with, he still managed to think of me and my comfort. He put my needs first when I know his haven’t been met in years, if ever. If a shattered child can grow into a complete man like Beckett, full of unconditional love and persistent kindness, then maybe a fractured woman like me can draw strength from her last reserve to give him the same. Together, we can sift through the wreckage of the remaining fragments like a jigsaw puzzle and fill in each other’s lost pieces that would otherwise never be found.
“Actually,” stepping closer, I bring my hands up to grasp his jaw, running my fingers over the day old stubble, “I think you’re right.”
Firm hands grab ahold of my hips, pulling me against his sculpted front.
“I usually am.” He clears his throat, finishing hoarsely, “But, just so I know we’re on the same page, what exactly am I right about this time?”
Locking eyes, I repeat his words back to him, saying, “This changes everything.” Then, giving him everything I fucking have, I kiss him. I kiss him for him, for everything he’s done to earn not only my affection but my respect as well. I kiss him for me, for all the things I wish I could’ve given him from the beginning but am just getting to now. I kiss him for us, for the chance that we both deserve. The opportunity we’ve deprived ourselves of just long enough for us to find each other.
We didn’t sink to the bottom, letting life’s harsh realities win out. We both kicked our way back to the surface, giving it our all without ever knowing the other would be waiting to start the journey back to shore, together.
CHAPTER 29
Beckett
“Yo, I’m out for the day. I gotta get my girl.”
Wow. Words I thought I’d never say and yet they flow out of my mouth like it’s the most natural thing in the world. But that’s just it, with Paige it is that natural. With her everything just feels…right. Normal. No, better than normal. Fucking fantastic. Perfection personified. Alright so maybe that’s overkill but seriously, I never thought having a girlfriend would be so easy.
Not that my girl’s easy. She’s the definition of tough as shit, pain in the ass, fight me at every turn, beautiful fucking goddess, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I turn the key on my bike after knocking knuckles with a few of the hourlies we just hired. I wasn’t lying when I told Paige we needed her brother. Fuck, we could use five more Tysens. Our second location of Pop The Hood is on track to open in just a few months and we’re busier than ever building up our clientele.
That doesn’t stop me from cutting out early to meet my girl though. She should be getting out of class right about now, and if I’m lucky she’ll wait for me so we can ride home together. Luck hasn’t been on my side lately though as she’s been leaving my ass in the dust before I can even reach her. Not that I’m complaining about the view when she does. I could watch Paige ride her bike all day. She’s as assertive on her bike as she is in the bedroom. That’s one thing I’ve always admired about her both on the streets and off—her confidence. She knows who she is, faults and all, and still stands with her head held high and a come-hither smile on her face daring anyone to fuck with her.
Silly me, I did. A lot.
And if I catch her tonight, I’ll be doing it again. And maybe again for her troubles. I’m generous like that.
On the walk to their car, one of her classmates sees me but before I can ask about Paige, they point out the white and gray Honda across the lot. At the exit.
Oh, yeah, she’ll pay for this alright.
My dick starts to swell but I’m not riding home with a fucking chubby so forcing thoughts of Paige naked and at my mercy out of my head, I speed after her, dipping through the lot like I’m in a video game or some shit and come within close enough range for our speakers to work. Quickly reaching up to hit the power button on the device attached to the side of my helmet, I use voice command to select a song and hope Paige turned her Bluetooth speaker on before she left so she can hear the music, too. The second the song drops her spine stiffens as she throws a glance over her shoulder seeing me approach. An updated rendition of a classic, “Pony” is exactly the kind of punishment she has to look forward to when we get home.
I only have a small window from now until the time she leaves for work in a bit but it’s enough. It has to be. I’ll make it be, goddamn it.
Just like the last several weeks, I’ve been making it a point to spend as much time together as our crazy schedules allow. The constant need for her hasn’t lessened like I thought it would once we became exclusive. Instead, it’s changed. Evolved. What started out as a physical craving is now a soul deep fucking ache. An absolute need for her, all of her, all the time. Our opposite shifts make things a little complicated without adding in her new classes she’s taken up gunning for that twat-face Vernon. I hear his hours were reduced thanks to his incompetence but I won’t be happy until the fucker is gone entirely. He continues to mutter stupid shit to Paige even though I’ve done my fair share of unannounced drop-ins. What can I say? They serve good food there.
Regardless, dude needs to go.
Paige’s boss offered to cover the additional schooling for the position, and my girl took it head-on just like I knew she would and has been killing it in her new courses. It doesn’t leave a lot of time for us but that’s why I’m here. To sneak in that little something extra. Paige likes to be pushed, she fights for everything she has, so some competition here and there keeps her spark from going out and it gets me hard like nothing else. So it’s a win-win.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Paige as she leans down and takes off like the hellion she truly is. That’s it, dream. Show me what you got.
Sometimes she wakes up early just so she can stop over for my lunch break before her class and on those days, I eat twice. While Tysen is out of earshot obviously. Can’t go fighting my girl’s family just because I have an insatiable appetite for her.
Fuck it, I still would. She’s that good. Hell, I probably would even if she wasn’t. Her love, even though we haven’t actually said the words yet—which I plan on remedying tonight�
��is like warm apple pie, and not that perverted shit from that cheesy teen movie Angie made me watch when neither of us could sleep one night. No, it’s like that classic comfort feeling you can’t find anywhere else but know you’ll always connect it back to that sweet fulfilling dessert. Sure, everyone can eat a slice of apple pie but not everybody associates it the same way. Apple pie was the last thing my mom made the day before she took off and I can still remember basking in the warmth it brought. Not only the flavor of the flaky, gooey pie but just walking into the kitchen and smelling the sweet aroma with just the right amount of spicy tang to wake up your senses and the way we sat around the table, looking each other in the eye, believing everything was alright. That day will forever be burned in my brain as one of the best up until that point. The day after, of course, is a different story but that pie will always hold a special place in my heart. And I’ll always think of Paige the same way I associate apple pie—home. Safe.
She said something similar to me once and I finally get it. I understand how a person who has nothing to do with your past can bring up the fondest memories with just a smile.
I told her she was my dream catcher, which she is, but she’s more than that. She keeps the nightmares away while bringing my best dreams to life. She makes the impossible feel possible. Paige taught me how to influence an outcome not by changing the events, or even the players, but by switching the vantage point—like changing lanes. By looking at things from a different angle you can take your future into your own hands and mold it to a more tolerable result.
I’m not saying I’ve forgiven my mom for what she did, but I’ve released the obligation I’d been holding her to. Letting go of some of that blinding resentment changed my outlook on not only the past, but also the present and hopefully the future. A future I couldn’t even see because of the monumental baggage my mom left in her wake. A future I can now fully envision Paige in.
That knowledge has me laying on the gas that much more. Shit, I’m seconds away from pulling her off to the side of the road, I’m so hopped up, but Creekwood comes into view sooner than I thought since I was more focused on Paige’s ass fanned out on her seat.
I stumble through the natural routine of removing my helmet while dismounting my Ninja when the next thing I know my helmet is knocked clear out of my hands, skidding to a halt across the chipped blacktop.
Swinging around, I bark, “what-” but am quickly silenced when Paige smashes her mouth against mine. I release a growl, rounding my hands over her ass, directing her back to where she belongs—level with me. Not below, not above. Equals in everything we do.
She’s just flexing right now, proving she has just as much control over this as I do.
As if I’d have a problem with that.
Thanks to Angie’s heavy-handed influence, I’m basically a feminist now so Paige can steer all she wants. Hopefully to the bedroom first but hey, I’m down for whatever.
“You chose that song on purpose,” she accuses once she breaks for air, teasing my lips with her teeth, driving me absolutely mad.
“You’re damn right I did. You knew I was on my way but you left anyway. The way I see it, you still owe me a full ride. Time to pony up, dream.”
She groans, tilting her head back, trusting I won’t drop her. That I’ll never drop her. I see my opening though and go for the kill before she realizes her mistake, taking her neck between my lips and sucking so hard she’ll have a mark for days. Hell, she’s marked me for life, ruined me for all others, claimed me as hers alone, so the least I could do is return the favor, even if it’s only temporary.
Stealthy as fuck, we make it upstairs and into my room. I like her room well enough, especially since the makeover her brothers and I gave it, but my bed is bigger and we’ll need the extra room. Time may not be on our side tonight but size is never a question where I’m involved. Bigger is better, I don’t care what anybody says.
Paige is naked and writhing against my sheets in record time, just taunting me with her flawless body. I hold back though, standing above her, just wanting to get a good look at her first.
That lasts all of three seconds until a needy moan makes its way up her exposed throat causing me to throw my good, romantic, unhurried intentions right out the goddamn window. Maybe they’ll land next to my forgotten helmet out on the asphalt so I can pick them all up at once in the morning ‘cause nothing’s taking me away from my girl right now.
Dipping my head between her legs—I always need a taste—I lick her slit like a fucking lollipop, swirling my tongue the way I know she likes, then lavish her stomach with sloppy nibbles as I make the climb to her stiff peaks awaiting me with perfectly pebbled nipples.
When Paige’s back arches like a fucking bow, I know she’s ready. Our lips clash in an epic battle to see who wants it more but I’m pretty sure it’s me. With Paige, it’s always gonna be me.
She flips over so suddenly, I almost roll off the side of the bed but manage to play it off by grabbing a condom from the nightstand instead. Propped on my side, I reach an arm around her middle and bring her to me, plastering her back to my front with her top leg bent over my thighs.
As we line ourselves up for what might be the hundredth time already, it still feels like the first time all over again. When you love someone, sex is no longer just a physical act, it’s a total experience fusing your minds, bodies, and souls together as one. I knew it at the festival, probably before that if I’m being over-the-top, confessional-type honest instead of my usual understated self. I’d thought, hoped, maybe even prayed a little, but I wasn’t sure until that moment when we came together that she was what I would spend the rest of my life trying to replicate if she denied her true feelings for me. Fuck, even during our quickies—not because I’m quick, just because we’ve had to rush a few times thanks to our time restrictions—the connection is just as strong.
There’s something that happens, something inexplicable but no less bone deep that lets you know that this, this is what you’ll never find again. No matter how hard or long you look, you’ll never be with another person that sets off that emotion in you so you better grab hold while you can and never let go.
My hand fists her hair, and using my elbow for leverage, I draw her head back before sinking into her fully from behind. The angle is incredible and since I have damn near every part of Paige’s toned body on display, I take a minute to simply look at her as she adjusts to the snug fit. Only when she starts cursing me out for having more patience than her—which is laughable in itself—do I move. Not at the rate she wants but the pace I need. I got one shot at this and I’m not blowing it along with my load in the first thirty seconds.
“Dream?”
Low-key ignoring me, her hand drifts up the back of my neck, searching for leverage of her own and I lean forward to bite her collarbone, basically blocking her chance to speed things up. Breaths become strained, stomachs begin shaking and I know, I know she’s dying for the release I’m quickly approaching myself.
Not yet though.
With a rougher tone, I try again. “Dream?”
Gasps fall from her open mouth in time with my chaotic rhythm, as I pump into her from behind with long, shaky strokes, hitting her core with every thrust. My other hand slides around to her neglected clit and I’m rewarded with a frantic cry as I squeeze the swollen nub between two fingers.
“You love me, dream?”
After a slight hesitation, a jolted nod is all I get in response but damn, that’s not enough. I need more. The first woman in my life never even bothered to earn the pedestal I built for her. I’m not making that mistake again. Now the spot at my side is cleared and ready to be claimed by the only woman that’s proved she deserves it. Hell, she’ll be the last woman in my life as far as I’m concerned unless she gives me that curly haired daughter I’ve found myself imagining lately.
Paige just needs to show me she wants it as much as I do. I need the words like I need the actions to prove them. Call me ja
ded but reassurance never hurt anybody. Deception sure the fuck did though.
Paige’s nails dig into my wrist, nodding harder and pleading with me so I slam into her unchecked, pulling her hair taut and whispering in her ear, “Damn, you feel so good.”
“I missed you today. I miss you every day.”
“I want you, always.”
And, finally, “I love you, Paige.”
That last confession sends us both spiraling into a sea of stars so bright I have to close my eyes briefly.
While I wait for Paige to catch her breath, I kiss her shoulder, loving the way her skin breaks into goose bumps.
“Shit, Beckett. Do you ever shut up?”
My mouth splits into a grin at the crook of her neck. She knows damn well I don’t but her sarcasm never ceases to amuse me.
“Yes, I love you,” she says. “Of course I love you. You’re the shining nightlight that brought me out of an abyss of darkness. You’re everything I didn’t know to look for.”
I feel her ribs stiffen against mine.
Smile dropping, I reposition us so we’re on our sides face-to-face, gazing into each other’s eyes where I can see my own sentiment looking back at me. She means it. At least I hope she does. There’s still that little flicker of doubt I’m not sure I’ll ever fully rid myself of.
Her finger traces the band on my arm making me freeze.
Squinting at the barely noticeable letters, she asks a little breathless still, “What does that say anyway?”
Most people think my tattoo is a solid band and for good reason. I designed it like that. I wanted the quote to be for me and me alone but Paige isn’t most people and if I want this to work, I can’t hide any part of me from her. I just didn’t think it’d be this soon. I haven’t had to think about it at all with my dream catcher always around now.
With a husky lilt, I say, “The cure for pain is in the pain.” I’d already realized how much the pain from another wound distracted me from the pain of my mother’s abandonment and figured a tattoo was just one more form of redirection.