by Lia Lee
“Is this a real pregnancy test?” Of all the questions I had shooting into my head like bullets from an automatic rifle, somehow, that was the one that made it out of my mouth first.
Sophia couldn’t have looked more surprised if I’d slapped her. “Of course, it’s real. Don’t be an idiot. Why would I fake a pregnancy test?”
“I don’t know, for fun?” What the hell was going on with my mouth?
Sophia’s eyes widened into incredulous orbs. “Are you having fun yet? Because I’m not. Stop being an ass. It’s not fake.”
Maybe it was the tears that were welling behind those eyes or maybe it was the fact that I suddenly became aware of Mark standing in the doorway, watching us with narrowed eyes, but out of nowhere, I was back in control.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from, I know it’s not fake.”
Sophia exhaled on a deep sigh and nodded slowly. “It’s okay, You’re shocked, too. I—”
Mark stepped into my line of vision, pointing his finger first at me and then jabbed it at Sophia. “Woah, back up. Brett’s shocked, too? Why would he be?”
When Sophia’s eyes met mine, they were filled with resignation and apology, and I instantly knew what was coming. I gave her a small nod of encouragement. It was inevitable that Mark would find out now, and I could see that she wanted to be the one to tell him.
She sucked in a rattled breath, folded her arms, and looked her brother right in eye. “Brett’s the baby’s father.”
For what could’ve been a second, a minute, or an hour, Mark just stood there. Frozen. Blinking rapidly. He turned on me slowly, a look in his eyes that I’d never seen before. It took the guilt in my stomach and twisted a big, sharp knife into it.
I saw his fist coming from a mile away, but I let him get his shot in. It was the least that I deserved. Dull pain flowed from my jaw to my nose when it landed, but it didn’t hurt that bad. Mark didn’t share my dedication to working out, and since he worked an office job, I hated to even think it, but he was pretty weak.
When he went to land another punch, I grabbed his wrist and held it away from me. “Mark, just listen to—”
“It was all my fault,” Sophia blurted out, her voice shaky.
I shook my head, meeting Mark’s gaze. “It wasn’t. None of this was your fault, Soph. This is all on me.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass about whose fault it was. How could you? Both of you?” There was such hurt in his voice that it ripped into my heart, and I winced.
“We didn’t mean to hurt you, brother,” I said. “Honest—”
“You didn’t mean to hurt me?” Mark yelled, a vein starting to throb in his temple. “You thought I was just going to be okay with this? Christ, I thought I could trust you, of all people, with her.”
“And you can, Mark. Really, I—”
“Can I? Because from where I’m standing, you’ve not only hurt and betrayed me, but you’ve ruined her fucking life.”
“He hasn’t,” Sophia interjected, tears streaming down her face. “Mark, he hasn’t.”
Mark turned on Sophia, and even though I knew he’d never physically hurt her, the instinct to protect her and my baby, roared into place from somewhere previously unknown. I shifted and angled my body so that I was between them, Sophia safely behind my back.
“Look, I get that you’re hurt and betrayed and shocked and god knows what else,” I said. “That’s why I let you take a shot at me. I’ll let you have however many more later, but right now, you’re upsetting Sophia, and that’s the last thing that she needs. So, you need to get out. Go.”
I didn’t have the first idea what Sophia needed, but I was sure that it wasn’t her brother shouting about how her life was ruined. I pointed to the door, and although Mark looked like he wanted nothing more than to clock me again, his gaze flickered to Sophia sobbing on the bed. With a final shake of his head, he spun on his heel and stalked out of the room.
Sobbing women were not my thing. Not at all. But knowing what to do came to me naturally with Sophia. I walked over to her bed, sank down next to her, pulled her into my lap, and let her cry into my chest. Her warm tears were soaking my shirt, but I didn’t mind.
She cried so hard that she hiccuped a few times, but I didn’t interrupt her. I just let her get it out. An indeterminable amount of time later, her sobs finally subsided, and her body stilled. I wondered if she’d fallen asleep, but when I pulled away slightly to look down at her, her eyes were wide open.
“What’s going on in your head?” I asked her. At least my mouth was working properly again.
She was quiet for another few beats. Then she released a deep sigh and met my eyes with hers. “Honestly? I don’t know. My mind’s racing so fast that I can’t grab hold of any thought. You?”
“Same.”
Sophia smiled sadly. “I’m sorry. If there was a way I could slow it down for you, I would.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about, but I might know how I can slow both of our minds for a while.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly, then she raised one of her eyebrows. “Surely, you can’t mean what I think you mean?”
“That’s exactly what I mean.” Before she could argue, I leaned down and kissed her. Hard.
Chapter Twelve
Sophia
He was insane. Certifiably insane. But as soon as Brett’s lips touched mine, that familiar zooming out of the world thing happened, and kissing him was the only thing I could focus on.
True to his word, he kissed me so deeply and so fiercely that I finally managed to catch a thought and hang onto it. It wasn’t a particularly productive one, however. It was blatantly sexual.
If his hardening underneath my ass was anything to go by, he’d had the same one. I shifted in his lap so that I was straddling him, threading my hands into his hair and kissing him like my life depended on it.
His hair was thick and soft as I scrunched it with my fingers, and he tasted like a strange mix of spearmint and rich coffee. With his muscular arms around me and strong chest against mine, it felt like everything was actually going to be okay. Like I could breathe properly for the first time since those words had popped up on that screen.
It was going to be okay. We were going to get through this. I was safe here in the circle of his arms. So long as he stayed, I would be fine. We were so in sync that at the same time the thought hit, he broke the kiss to look deep into my eyes.
“I’m going to be here for you, Soph. I promise. For you and the baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
There was a funny pressing feeling in my heart, and the words popped out of mouth before I’d had so much as a split second to process them. “I love you.”
As soon as they were out, I knew with everything in me that they were true. I also wished that I could’ve taken them back and said them at a more appropriate time. Or maybe not said them at all, for a long, long time.
Early afternoon light shone softly through the windows, illuminating Brett like a gentle spotlight. His gray eyes widened, and some unnamed emotion passed through them as he let my words wash over him. Whether it was a positive or a negative emotion remained to be seen.
A part of me knew that I was kidding myself. Brett wasn’t the kind of guy who would fall in love. Much less with a girl like me. Yet, I couldn’t help but hang onto the tiny shard of hope that was blooming in my chest because he was still there, still holding me, still hard underneath me.
His mouth opened and closed a few times, like he was trying and failing to say something. Then the impossible happened. Brett’s lips spread into a wondrously beautiful smile, both dimples digging deep into his cheeks, and whatever was in his eyes changed.
Unless I was very much mistaken, the feeling that was lighting them up and shining out at me looked very much like—
“I love you, too,” he said.
An excited little squeak that I was by no means in control of popped out. “You do?”
His arms tighten
ed around me, and he bumped his nose to mine. “I do.”
“Just like that?” I asked, repeating the words he’d said to me in that restaurant the night everything changed.
From his answering smile, I knew that he remembered them, too. “Just like that.”
I leaned down, my lips brushing his. “Kiss me like you mean it then.”
And oh god, did he. Brett kissed like an angel, with his whole body, like he was pouring every emotion of this confusing, terrible, amazingly beautiful day into me. His lips were soft and firm and demanding. His hands tunneled into my hair and gripped it firmly, holding me to him as he feasted on my mouth. His tongue dipped into my mouth possessively, stroking me and licking me as he brought our mouths together over and over again.
Then he abruptly broke the kiss, still keeping me close, but looking up at me with troubled eyes. “Are you sure this is okay?”
In my love and lust filled mind, the question didn’t make sense. “Is what okay?”
“Can we fu—make love without hurting the baby?”
I almost laughed, but the seriousness and desperate worry in his eyes that I was going to say no stopped me. My heart squeezed and swelled that he’d broken off that intense kiss because he was worried about a baby he’d only known about for an hour. Two tops. He was going to be a terrific dad.
Cupping his beautiful, concerned face in my hands, I smiled down at him. “I’m sure. The baby’s protected. You’re already a great daddy for asking, though.”
A dark look crossed his features, but he shook it off almost before it started and stared up at me in wonder. “Daddy. Fuck, that’s going to take some getting used to.”
“Tell me about it, but let’s not worry about it now.” We were going to talk about that look sometime very soon, though. “The only thing you should be worried about right now is how you’re going to keep up with my pregnancy horniness.”
“That’s a thing?” he asked, perking up.
I laughed at the hope in his expression, dropping a kiss on the tip of his nose. “It’s definitely a thing.”
“I can get behind that,” he said, flashing me a sexy smile. “I’m sure I’m up for the task.”
Before I knew what was happening, he was rolling us over, and my back hit the mattress, sinking in deeper beneath his weight. His mouth closed over mine, and his hands skimmed my sides and my breasts. Squeezing and exploring, even though he knew every plane of my body by now. My hands snuck under the hem of his shirt.
Somewhere between the crying, the making out, and everything else, it had come untucked from his dress slacks. He’d clearly been working, even if it was Saturday.
Brett’s skin was smooth and warm under my palms, his muscles rippling deliciously as he moved. He rocked his hips against mine, and I whimpered. He was so hard, pressed exactly where I needed him to be, just without all these silly clothes in the way. I decided to do something to remedy the situation immediately.
I wanted to feel him against me too badly to struggle with his buttons, so I simply tugged the shirt off over his head. He raised his arms and almost didn’t even have to break the kiss before his shirt was off and his perfect body covered mine again.
His hands were moving just as urgently as mine, making quick work of my tank top and rolling the lazy day sweats I’d been wearing off, along with my panties. My fingers struggled with his slacks for a second, then his were there to help and he was kicking them off, all the while kissing every worry I’d ever had from my mind.
We were naked the next minute. The ache building between my legs was almost as intense as it had been the first time I’d been with him. My need for him only grew as the days and weeks went by. My sex swelled, and the space between my legs was slick. My clit throbbed, and I arched my hips against Brett’s for some relief.
He was hard as steel, hissing when he came into contact with my wet core. His erection slid between my folds, making me desperate for it. For him.
“Brett,” I moaned. “Please.”
His lids were at heavy and his pupils dilated. It was still insanely sexy to see him like that. I wanted him so badly that I nearly couldn’t breathe, and I knew he wanted me just as badly. He paused for a second, his body stilling before he smiled like a madman. “Guess I don’t need to get condom, huh?”
“Guess not.”
My hips strained upward, trying to coax him into sliding into me, but he fixed me with an intent look and didn’t move. “I’m clean. I got tested again the other day after we had that talk. Just in case.”
“Well if you’re clean, I’m clean, too,” I told him, though it was probably redundant since he was very well aware of the fact that he was the only man I’d ever been with.
Brett grinned, as if he liked the reminder anyway. “Yeah, you are. Are you okay with this then?”
“Going bare?”
He nodded.
“I think we’re well past that, but yes. If you need me to say it, then yes. I’m absolutely okay with this.”
Leaning his forehead against mine, I felt him line himself up, fitting himself to me. “You’re mine, Sophia. You know that, right? All mine. I love you.”
“And you’re mine,” I replied. “I love you, too.”
Then he thrust home, and we both cried out. Falling quickly into a perfect rhythm, he grabbed one of my legs and pulled it up, my knee bending to hook over his ass. It made him slide deeper into me, until I was sure that I couldn’t take another inch. The feeling was intense, but pleasurably so.
Brett was everywhere, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. There was nothing of myself that I wouldn’t give to him. He owned me.
Heart. Body. Soul.
The way that he made love to me told me that he felt exactly the same way. My back slid against the sheets as he thrust into me, pushing me into the mattress. The sensations were so potent, so rhythmic, the pressure so perfect that my entire body started shaking from the force of the pleasure that he was bringing me.
“That’s it, Soph. I can feel you, you’re getting so close.” He grunted as he pumped into me deeper and faster than before. “Me too. I’m letting go. Let go with me, baby.”
As if his words cast some sort of spell over my body, binding me to him, my orgasm spiraled through me at the exact same time that he tensed and groaned my name above me.
Chapter Thirteen
Brett
The phone just kept ringing and ringing. Mark was clearly still not talking to me. Any minute now, his voicemail was going to tell me it was full. Unless he was simply deleting all my messages without listening to them. None of the texts I’d sent him had been marked as read, so it was a good bet he wasn’t listening to voice messages, either.
I was standing in his living room, looking out at the street a couple of stories below. People moved about their business like ants, like nothing of significance had changed in the past twenty-four hours. If only that was true for me, too.
“Brett, do you want any coffee?” Sophia called from the kitchen.
I’d stayed with her the night before. I couldn’t bring myself to leave her alone. Mark hadn’t come back, and he wasn’t talking to either of us, as far as I knew.
Sophia and I hadn’t talked much about anything, though we’d been at the apartment together. We watched mindless action movies, ate comfort food, and let each other think. It was pretty great to be with someone who knew me well enough that I could be by myself, even though she was there with me.
“Please,” I called back to her.
There was a domesticity about us suddenly that I wasn’t completely uncomfortable with. What I was entirely uncomfortable with was being on the outs with Mark. We’d had spats over the years, sure. But nothing like this.
He was actively avoiding me, and while I would never admit it, I needed him. Sophia needed him. We were both still in shock and trying to come to grips with the fact that we were about to be parents. My stomach clenched, and my heart went wild every time I let myself think about
it.
If it kept going the way it was, I was probably going to have to get to a cardiologist, sooner rather than later, but I didn’t let Sophia know it. She was drifting around like she was in some kind of daze. I had to be strong for her and be there for her.
I still had to tell my mom that she was going to be a grandmother, and I didn’t really know why I was putting it off. She was likely to be thrilled about the latest development. Mom had always loved the Loves as much as I did.
Sophia hadn’t told her parents yet, either, probably because we were still struggling to deal with it ourselves. She hadn’t even told me outright that she wanted to keep the baby. I blanched at the alternative, but swallowed it back.
The tone of the few conversations we’d had thus far hinted strongly that she wasn’t considering… taking care of it. I wasn’t even going to think the word.
Sophia’s soft footfalls sounded on the carpeted floor, and I turned to find her holding two steaming mugs of coffee. She held one out to me and came to stand beside me.
“Thanks,” I said.
“Sure.”
We sipped in silence, both watching the people below go about their business as though they didn’t have a care in the world. Realistically, I knew that probably wasn’t true. Everyone had their own shit to deal with. It simply felt like we were dealing with this monumental thing while everyone else was going out to brunch or doing Sunday morning grocery shopping.
I didn’t know how to feel about that.
It was pretty fucking hard to believe that there were actually three people in this room, not only the two I could see reflected in the window we were staring out of. I couldn’t believe we’d made a baby. And that that meant I was going to be a father.
My heart did the crazy galloping thing again, only calming when I fixed my gaze on Sophia’s reflection. Because as much as I never thought I would be a father, I also never thought that I could love someone the way I did Sophia.
I’d known for a couple of weeks now that whatever was happening between us was different, and I strongly started suspecting about a week or so ago that I was in love with her. We were at my place at the time, and the sun was just starting to set over the Lake outside, casting the room in a soft, orange glow.