“I’d be a bit more careful about that, if I were you,” Silas replied.
“Why is that?” The Derby asked.
“I am the exact same way,” Silas chortled.
Suddenly, there was a hard knock on the basement door. A voice from the hallway called out “Open up! It’s the police!” The Derby and Silas looked at one another, wondering exactly what to do, but before they could act, a thud and a smash leveled the door. The police piled down the stairs in some sort of Keystone comedic menagerie. By this time, the Jay had finished her ruckus with the Duchess and was standing, out of breath, over her royally befuddled person.
“Stand aside! Stand aside!” A voice called from the back of the police pile. Working his way past what seemed to be every single man in his division was Chief Constable O’Gratin. When he reached the bottom, he looked at the scene and clicked his tongue. “Well, I guess I would have been a fool not to assume it would come to this. Men, arrest The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay.”
“Wait!” Silas spoke up. “The Derby and Jay are not at fault. This was my own scheme!”
The Constable was aghast, “Silas Monstrosity, are you actually confessing to a crime?”
“I’m afraid so,” Silas gave a crooked smile and a shrug. “I forged the birth papers, and I coerced The Duchess into posing as my sister so I could trap my arch enemies and have them put behind bars.”
“I see, but still: why confess when the whole scheme would well have worked?”
“I was hoping that all this would succeed without The Duchess being hurt. Now that she has, well, it’s just not cricket,” Silas affirmed. His irrefutable reputation as a liar was obviously being put to good practice at this point.
The Constable nodded in understanding “Well, I’d anticipated this as well. Trevor, bring me the extra-large cuffs.”
Seeing nothing else to do in the moment, The Derby and Jay helped pull The Duchess’ ample body off of the floor. Surrounded by cops, they watched as an officer wrapped Silas’ massive wrists in heavy chains, clapping the mass shut with a large padlock.
“Do me just one favor, Constable,” Silas said pleasantly. “I’d like just a few moments with The Duchess to apologize.”
“You have me at a soft moment Monstrosity,” The Constable affirmed. “All-right, but we’ll have the place surrounded in case you try anything funny.”
There was silence besides the shuffling of police officers’ feet as The Constable’s division returned upstairs. Once they were out of earshot of the law, the Jay asked. “Why didn’t you tell him the truth, Silas? He would have taken our word as a witness.”
Silas’ crooked smile widened a bit “While I admit, my sister surprised me with the brilliance of her scheme, she is in no way a hardened criminal like I am. Her place is here in the cozy aristocracy.”
“You’re a strange one, brother.” The Duchess said, holding her tattered gloved hand over a particularly tenderized part of her cheek.
“You knew that since the day this family disowned me,” Silas mused.
“All the same,” The Derby interjected “You will now be going to jail for her crime.”
“Oh, I didn’t say I was staying. For one, I have already picked the lock on these cuffs.” Everyone heard a clatter as Silas dropped the length of chain and brought his hands forward to rub his tender wrists. “Wilhelmina, may you show me an exit?”
“Gladly,” The Duchess walked over to a bookshelf. Swinging it open like a doorway, she revealed a tunnel which led underground to who knows where.
“You know as lawmen ourselves we can’t permit this!” The Derby declared.
“Come along, dear. One good turn and all that,” The Jay coaxed.
“We can however,” the Derby gave a reluctant sigh “give you a solid fifteen-minute head start.”
“You won’t regret this, Derby!” Silas rapidly shook The Derby’s hand before dashing rapidly into the dark corridor.
“You have no idea what I wouldn’t regret,” The Derby said in a bewildered tone.
O O O
A moment later, The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay returned up the stairway to meet up with The Constable.
“I thought that Silas would be with you,” The Constable said, taking a puff of his pipe.
“No, I’m afraid that he overpowered us and escaped.” The Jay explained. “We were hoping that, with your men surrounding the manor that you would have caught him.”
“No such luck with that either. It’s a real shame, how he does such despicable things and always manages to get away with it…” The Constable paused as he turned his pipe upside down and clapped the burnt embers onto the walkway beneath his feet. “You must at least be happy that, in light of this new evidence, the two of you will no longer be treated as outlaws.”
“Indeed we are, Constable,” The Derby affirmed, “Doubtless we’ll catch up to that repulsive reprobate sooner or later!”
“How soon do you suppose?” The Constable asked.
“Oh, if not in fifteen minutes than by next month,” The Jay replied coyly.
About the Author
Mike Cervantes is a graduate of creative writing and communication from The University of Texas at El Paso. He's been a lifelong fan of comic books, pulp novels, and early 20th century television and radio serials. He considers himself a humorist, a cartoonist, and a steampunk enthusiast. In addition to regular updates of The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay on thescarletderby.com, he's written short stories for Steampunk Trails Magazine (now known as Story Emporium) and the Penny Dread Tales series of steampunk anthology books.
Table of Contents
Book Description
Title Page
Contents
Acknowledgments
The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay
The Three-Headed Mob
The Tin Tuna
MAESTRO BELLACO
Monstrosity Returns
About the Author
The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay - Volume 1: Gallery of Rogues Page 10