by Ava May
“Well, I hate to tell you this, but there's something else you may want to consider,” Mandy said. Scarlett turned around and looked at her expectantly.
“It seems that a few people noticed you were in his office for quite a while and there are a few rumors going around that there's something going on between you two. In fact, a lot of people think that the only reason you got the job was because you're sleeping with him, especially after what happened in that meeting.”
Scarlett cursed and kicked the trashcan, sending the contents spilling over the floor.
“Those damn fools. They can't accept that I earned that job,” she said. But the worst part was that there was some truth to the rumors. After all, she was sleeping with Jack, and it was just one more stress to place on the pile.
“Just ignore them,” Mandy said. “I'm sure they'll die down soon enough. You've got nothing to be ashamed of and who cares what those people think? All that matters is what you think of yourself.”
But Scarlett didn't know what to think about anything.
9
In the end, she decided to ignore the whispers at work, figuring that people were going to talk no matter what she did or said. The bigger question was what to do about Jack. He was on her mind constantly, and when he didn't call her for a few days, she was constantly looking at her cell and willing him to call her, to no avail. In some moments, she thought that perhaps it was for the best, but at night she couldn't sleep, plagued with thoughts about him. The tendrils of love had settled deep within her heart and they weren't easily extricated or ignored. In the end, she found herself calling him up and talking. At first the conversation was stilted and awkward, until she admitted that she wanted to see him again.
“But it has to be like I said,” he warned. “I can't be with you if you're going to keep asking about the past. All I want to look to is the future, and if that's going to be a problem, then it's better we don't waste each others' time.”
“No, it's fine. I can handle it. I'm happy to just move forward with you. The past doesn't matter to me. All that matters is being with you,” she said, although she felt like she was lying to herself. Over the following weeks, they continued to date and spend time together, and for the most part it was lovely. Yet, in the back of her mind, Scarlett knew that he was holding onto some dark secret, and the mystery nagged at her. It had to have been something that would cause her to look at him differently, otherwise, surely he would just tell her? And there were a few times when she had to stop herself from asking too much about the past.
It was an odd relationship, for she felt like there was something missing, and even though the sex was still hot and she felt comfortable in his arms, it wasn't the same as it had been before. Always she wanted to press him for information but his reluctance to share meant that she was always watching what she was saying in case she said the wrong thing and made him angry again.
She wasn't happy, especially because the rumors at work were gathering more steam. At first, Scarlett tried to ignore them, and when they became to big to ignore she tried to embrace them and joke about them. But people started disrespecting her again, saying that since she only got the job because of Jack, and because he wasn't present, they didn't have to listen to her. Scarlett tried to complain, but nobody was having any of it. She didn't even feel like she could go to Jack, because if he got involved, then it would just give them more ammunition to fire at her.
This is not the way it's supposed to be, she thought to herself, and to Lisa. Whenever she had times of great stress she pretended that Lisa could hear her troubles, just like when they were younger. They always used to stay up late and talk about whatever was worrying them, and Lisa always had the best advice. Scarlett wondered what she would have said about this situation, and she missed her sister dearly.
Then, one day, as she and Jack drove through the city to a small pizza place out in the suburbs, it hit her. The problem with Jack became so apparent, and the reason why she was miserable was so clear that she burst out laughing, astonished that she hadn't realized it before. In the middle of chewing a slice, Jack paused and looked at her.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
“What do you think?” she said. Her laughter soon turned bitter and then her body was bristling with anger as all the frustrations in every part of her life swam through her soul and seized her spirit.
“I'm going to guess yes by the look on your face,” he said, placing his slice of pizza back down on the plate. There were only a few people in the restaurant. One of them was sitting at the end of the bar, minding his own business. There was a waitress leaning against the counter, flicking through a magazine while she drank a milkshake, and a man was sliding pizzas in and out of the huge pizza oven.
Scarlett rolled her eyes.
“What's wrong?” he asked, placing a hand on hers, but she withdrew it.
“You want to know what's wrong?” she started, leaning in and speaking in a low voice. “What shall we start with? How about the fact that my boyfriend is ashamed of me.”
“What?”
“All we do is go to quiet, secluded places, or places like this that are in the middle of nowhere. Is that it? Am I just not glamorous enough for you or are you just afraid to be seen with someone?”
“It's not like that at all!” he said defensively, and they both made an effort to keep their voices low because they were garnering the attention of the other people in the restaurant.
“I just don't like crowds and I prefer quiet places. Besides, I thought you did too. I thought it was romantic.”
“No, I don't buy it,” Scarlett said, leaning back in her chair. “If it was just once in a while, then maybe, but when it's every time... this has something to do with your past, doesn't it?”
“Scarlett, I thought we agreed not to bring that up again.”
“Well, you make it damned hard. What am I supposed to think? You tell me there's a part of your life that you don't want to share and I'm supposed to just agree to that?”
“You did agree to it!”
“I made a mistake. I shouldn't have. I want to know, Jack. I want to know now! Do you know what it's like for me? We're supposed to be together, in a relationship, and to me that means trust. You said you wanted something genuine, you wanted something real. Well, I've been real with you, one hundred per cent. I've never deceived you or made any unfair demands. But this is hanging over our heads. I have no idea what it could be! If you actually respected me and cared for me then you'd tell me the truth, because if what we have is love, then—”
“Is what we have love?”
The question took her aback.
“I don't know... I thought for a while that yes... then maybe... now I'm not so sure. I just don't think I can love you when I know that you're keeping a secret from me. And worst of all, I can't even escape you at work because they only think I got the job because of my talents in the bedroom. How can I stay there when that's all they think of me?” Her emotions boiled over and her frustrations poured out. Outside the rain came down in heavy drops, pelting against the building and ground.
“I can talk to them. I can say something.”
“That won't do any good. Don't you see, Jack. I'm trapped. I have nowhere to go.” There was a plaintive look in her eyes and she implored him to tell her anything, to give her any fragile thread of hope to cling to but there was nothing.
“I... can't give you what you need,” he said. Scarlett felt her heart break inside her. All the little pieces were scattered around the floor, and fell like the raindrops outside. She shook her head, wishing that there was some way to undo it all but it was all falling apart around her. Tears stung her eyes and she could feel her emotions falling all around her, and the last thing she wanted was to let Jack see how much he had hurt her. She pushed her chair out and ran out of the restaurant, hauling her arm away from Jack when he tried to grab her.
But Jack wasn't done yet. He marched out after her, the do
or slamming behind them. The rain slashed down, soaking through their clothes.
“What do you want from me?” he shouted, spitting out rain as he did so.
“What I'd want from anyone! The truth! I want the truth, Jack. If you want to be with me, then you have to tell me the truth now, otherwise I'm walking away and you're never going to see me again.” She waited, but still Jack couldn't find it within himself to release the dark secret he was holding onto. Scarlett laughed morbidly and shook her head, then turned to walk away.
“Wait,” he called out. “Please, wait.” And against her better judgment, she stopped and turned around. Her clothes were drenched and heavy, and she had to blink to keep her vision clear. Jack looked tired. His shoulders slumped and he let the rain fall down him, not even trying to fight the downpour.
“You want the truth?” he said, his voice cracking, “I'll tell you the truth. If you want to know about my past then listen carefully, because it's about your past too. I didn't know it at first, not until you spoke about Lisa, but the way it happened... there was someone close to me. Someone I cared about dearly. My wife, Scarlett... my wife was in the accident too...”
No, she thought. That was the only word that kept echoing in her mind. Jack tried to explain but Scarlett couldn't listen, didn't want to listen. All these years she imagined that the other driver was some drunk idiot who wasn't paying attention to what he was going, but Jack's wife... and he was married. Oh God... the boat, she thought, and suddenly it all became so clear. Why he was so reticent to talk about his past, why he didn't want anyone snooping about his business, but all the clues had been there from the start, and she had been too wrapped up in her own business to notice them.
Jack reached out his hands, but Scarlett turned away. She couldn't bear to be near him, and as she ran away and disappeared into the night. Her tears blurred with the rain until she couldn't tell them apart, and the sound of Jack calling after her grew fainter and fainter until she couldn't hear anything.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Ready to keep reading? Get Book 1 and 3 here:
Book 1: In a Wild Moment
Book 3: After the Dark
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About the Author
Ava May knew she wanted to be a romance writer ever since she read "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks - when she was eight years old. While her friends were reading The Baby-Sitters Club, she would be tucked away in a library corner reading Harlequins. You could say she was rebellious in her own way.
Today, Ava writes taboo romance novels out of her cozy home in Seattle, where she lives with her husband Jack and their adorable Cocker Spaniel, Daisy. When she's not dreaming up spicy storylines, she's in the yoga studio perfecting her Lord of the Dance pose.