by A. C. Wilson
I love you, Dad. Goodnight.
“I love you too, son.” Colt answered into the small room and then texted Drew back the same. Almost right away, his phone started to ring and shook his head as he answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, yourself.” It was Nora.
“I’m sorry if I woke you up. I just got Drew’s text and wanted to make sure I answered it.” Colt was on better terms with his son’s mother than when they had started this whole sharing custody plan. It had slowly gotten easier to speak to one another. Colt was determined not to be angry over the time he had lost with Drew, but to make the most of the present and the future. Colt was also learning to let the romantic feelings he had for Nora go as she was happily married and building on their family. He was jealous of that, if he could be so honest with himself.
“You didn’t wake me up. I just wanted to check in and make sure you were still good with Drew coming out there next week. I know he’s looking forward to it.” Nora’s voice soothed the aches in his chest. She grounded him in a way he couldn’t understand. Maybe she was simply the one who got away and she would always have this magnetic hold on him.
“Yeah, we’re still good. I’m flying to Montana in the morning.” Colt looked at the clock on the nightstand. It really wasn’t that late in Hot Springs, South Dakota. He sat down on the mattress and then laid back to stare up at the ceiling.
“Do you like Montana? I haven’t been there in years.” Nora was making small talk, but he didn’t mind. It took him somewhere other than inside his head.
“I do. You and Randy should come out sometime. I have a guest house, but it needs renovated.” He smiled. “If I remember right, you liked designing things.”
Nora laughed, soft and musical. “I design jewelry now, remember? It isn’t just Randy and me anymore either. This little girl will be here next month.”
Colt absorbed that gut punch of envy. It was difficult to acknowledge that he wanted a family and a home, but living on the road wasn’t fair to those he left there alone. “Wow! Is it that time already?”
“Mmmhmm.” Nora sighed into the receiver and Colt forced a smile as if she could see him.
“Have you chosen a name yet?”
“Of sorts. Maisie if it is a girl and Mason if it is a boy, but of course they are subject to change.”
“No Sonora junior?” Colt chuckled, tickled by his joke. Nora growled into the phone and he laughed.
“You know how much I hate that.”
He really did. Nora was shortened for Sonora and if anyone called her that, she was ready to draw blood. After all these years, it was still fun to tease her.
“Sorry.” He mumbled, a grin marring his face.
“Sorry, not sorry?” Nora asked, no anger in her voice.
“Something like that.”
They were quiet. The bus was silent and it made the worries on his mind weigh down again.
“You want to talk about it?” Nora asked, her soft tone sliding over the cuts that hurt. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted someone he could confide in without fearing that a person with nefarious reasons would find out.
“I wouldn’t know where to start exactly.” Colt knew that was a cop out. Nora would never share anything that he told her. “Beat told me that he’s quitting the band. His wife’s pregnant with their first child and he wants to be home with them.”
“That’s a big step for him. I’m sure you can’t blame him for wanting to be there instead of riding on a bus all over the country.”
Colt shook his head. “Of course I don’t blame him. I’m going to miss him though. That’s the last of the original bandmates.”
Nora made a noise. “You want what he has.”
Colt wondered how she did that. He sat still and didn’t say anything for a minute. She had read him without even being here. He took a deep breath and let it out.
“It has made me wonder if it would have worked out between us had I known about Drew earlier. Would you have married me so that we could have been a family?”
It wasn’t a fair question, Colt knew that.
“Colt, I can’t tell you what might have happened in the past. You didn’t know and you know why I didn’t tell you. As for us being a family, you are a part of my family. You are Drew’s father and that will never change.”
“I know that. I’m sorry for asking. I just wonder about it sometimes.” Colt felt open and vulnerable. “I wonder if I am husband material.”
Nora laughed softly. “You are a great father, Colt. I can only imagine that if you wanted to be a good husband than you would be.”
Colt sighed, closing his eyes and absorbing the smile in her voice. He let it sooth and comfort. “It’s late. I’m going to hang up now, but tell Drew I’ll call him from Montana tomorrow night.”
“I will. Be safe, Colt and be happy.”
“Goodnight, Nora.” Colt paused and then closed the call. He fought the lump in his throat as he got up off the bed and headed for the bathroom.
CHAPTER THREE
His head hurt and his eyes felt like they had been doused with a bucket full of sand. Colt rubbed his neck and moaned as he began to exit the plane. The narrow aisles and small seats were a hassle sometimes and on days like this one, Colt wished he had his own personal plane. He could probably afford one, but he didn’t want to be the guy who forgot what it was like to start small. Those people mattered a great deal to him-the ones with dirt under their fingernails and sweat on their brows.
“Thank you for flying with us, sir.” The flight attendant said. Despite his exhaustion, Colt smiled at her and acknowledged her words. Toting his coat and his carry-on bag, he got off the plane and wandered towards the doors where his ride was supposed to be waiting. A scattering of people with their luggage in tow made it hard for him to see the entrance clearly. Toby Wooden was coming from the ranch to pick him up. At first Colt’s ranch foreman grouched because it was Sunday and he never missed a church service. Colt had pacified him with a half-hearted promise that Toby could stop in town at the church and Colt would wait in the truck until it was over. He was regretting that now.
“It’s good to see you, boss.” Toby suddenly appeared beside Colt with an easy smile and eager to please attitude. Colt liked that about his foreman and tried not to take advantage of the fact that the man would do just about anything for anyone. It must be something in the water in the Midwest, because true neighbors didn’t expect anything in return if they could help.
“Morning, Toby. Sorry for making you a bit late. The flight was delayed.” Colt watched the little conveyor belt that went around with the passengers’ luggage. He picked up the sturdy guitar case and looked at Toby with a smile.
“No, I don’t make the early service too often anyway. There’s another at ten thirty.” Toby grinned, his youth and kindness shining through weathered skin. Colt couldn’t believe the man was only forty, but that was the life of rancher. Come rain or shine or four feet deep in snow, the man went out. Colt sort of envied him too. Purpose was key in life and Colt was floundering a bit with his.
“Better get moving then.” Colt followed Toby out of the airport and to the new Chevrolet truck that the ranch had bought for him.
“How long are you here, boss?” Toby asked as they were driving down the highway. The crisp spring day was filled with sunshine and little tufts of green were just starting to show.
“I’m not really sure, Toby. Three weeks if all goes according to my record label’s plan.” Colt couldn’t quite keep all of his feelings out of his words. He just wasn’t sure where he stood in the chaos.
“Ah, well, it is nice to have you back. I let my sister know that you would be coming so the house is ready and the fridge is stocked.” Toby grinned, his wrist setting on top of the steering wheel, easy in the flow of life.
“I’m glad that your sister doesn’t mind. Please be sure to tell her how grateful I am.” Colt watched the white dotted lines slip by on the highw
ay. Some spots were worn out from the implement traffic of various ranches and farms. Unlike the heavy amount of trees in the Black Hills, Montana was only dotted here and there. Gullies and hills swept most of the landscape where prairie grass was proud to sway in the wind.
“Oh, you’ll get to meet her! She’ll be staying at the house. I’m slowly getting her house remodeled but I ran into a snag.” Toby chuckled.
Colt hoped he looked as surprised as he felt, because this was all news to him. “What kind of snag?” He might be a fool for asking, but it seemed the most logical question.
“My sister.” Toby laughed out loud. “She’s the snag. Nothing is ever good enough!”
“Sounds like a record producer of mine.” Colt mumbled to himself. “When will her house be livable? Drew will be here next week.” Colt was not against sharing a large house with a woman, but Toby’s sister was a woman and a stranger.
“I’m sure she won’t mind. Megan loves kids.” Toby nodded his head as if he had this conversation every day. Colt wasn’t ready for anything more than a shower and some sleep. “I haven’t had a chance to look at the house since last month.” Toby stopped with the explanations, because apparently Colt was supposed to know those. He didn’t.
“Why so long?” Colt finally prodded.
Toby grinned. “It’s calving season. I’ve been too busy wrangling those heifers you had me buy. Flighty, frazzled things when they are having their first calves.”
Once again Colt felt like he should know all about first time mothers and the time it took to ease them into being productive members of the ranch. The miles passed as he perused the countryside. If the inner workings of the ranch whizzed by his head, the serenity of outdoors hit him square in the chest. His heart had ached for this peace. There was something here that only the wide open space could give him. Toby pulled off the main blacktop and chose the windier gravel road. The community church was five miles before the ranch’s driveway.
“With any luck, Pastor Daniels won’t be too riled by the Spirit.” Toby chuckled, noting the look of uncertainty on Colt’s face. “It is a good way to meet people around here. Why don’t you come inside with me?” Toby pulled up alongside the road, put the truck in park and turned off the engine. He looked pointedly at Colt, who hadn’t answered him yet.
“I’m not much of a church service kind of guy, Toby. I see my maker in the beauty of the outdoors.”
“Well most of us do, especially those that live off the land. We don’t bite and it will be a good way to meet your neighbors. Lots of people are curious about you.” It was clear Toby wasn’t going to take no for an answer unless Colt pushed the employer advantage. It didn’t seem like a fair thing to do but it was tempting.
“I must look a mess, Toby. I’m definitely not fit for going to church.” For the last decade, Colt had been drilled with the importance of image. Anyone could take a photo or video inside and it would wildfire among the media. His manager would just love that.
“No one inside is more important than anyone outside once we walk through that door. We are all God’s children.” Toby indicated the arched doorway with the double doors that led into the sanctuary. Ironically wasn’t that just what Colt was looking for?
Colt took a deep breath and nodded. He removed his seatbelt and ran a hand through his hair. If he were lucky, no one in there would recognize him as the wildly popular Country music singer. “Let’s go.”
Tugging at his rumpled button up shirt, Colt tried to tuck it into the tops of his jeans and he readjusted his belt. He looked down and hoped that his efforts had made some improvement. He couldn’t vouch for the red in his eyes or the tired appearance of his face. He just hoped that he could slip into the back and no one would notice. Toby smiled at him as the door was opened by an usher and the smell of the old building came to his nose. It didn’t matter a bit though as the soft sounds of piano music came from inside the nave. His heart started to thump as it hadn’t in quite some time and it was punctuated by the sweet vocals of an unknown woman.
Mesmerized was the only way Colt could possibly explain how he reacted to the red-haired woman at the front of the room. She looked positively angelic and her voice made the hair on his arms stand up. Hope and peace were featured on her pale face and her hands shared the story she was singing. He loved the song. He could remember his grandfather humming it, although he didn’t know the words. In The Garden, that was it. That was the song’s title. Toby shoved him into the very back pew and handed him a small paper. Colt didn’t look at it. He kept his eyes firmly on the lovely singer.
“She’s amazing.” Colt whispered to Toby once the piano ended the song. The woman bowed her head to the polite applause and stepped back into place by the choir. It was a small choir, six people dressed in white robes.
“She is.” Toby answered back, a smile stretching from ear to ear. “She’s been singing here since she was five.”
Colt felt his interest rise. The woman was a born talent and if anyone knew what that meant, it was him. Montana had just offered up another gem. He looked at the small paper that Toby had given him and it was a donation envelope. With less finesse than he was hoping, Colt pulled out his wallet and opened it. Selecting a few bills, he put it into the envelope and closed it. The whole time he felt Toby’s eyes on him. Looking up, Colt lifted his shoulders.
“Nothing.” Toby answered, a grin creeping over his lips and Colt shook his head.
The rest of the service went off without a hitch and Colt was thankful for that. All the glances were friendly and no one even tried to snap a picture. In fact, the congregation paid their preacher ample attention and it was a nice change of pace. Colt didn’t want to be the center of attention unless he were on stage and people had paid good money to watch him perform. He grimaced. It made him sound like a trained monkey. His brow twitched. It was exactly how he was starting to feel. Toby stood when the congregation was getting ready to leave. He touched Colt’s arm and indicated he should follow him outside. Colt scanned the front of the room again for the woman, but she was nowhere to be seen.
“Can we go now?” Colt asked his foreman as they paused outside. Toby looked as if he would argue, but it must have been enough that Colt had been persuaded to come inside in the first place. The man gave in with a nod.
CHAPTER FOUR
Two knotted pine poles held up a rod iron sign signaling the ranch’s name. Double C Ranch. Colt smiled to himself as they bumped along the road that appeared to need more gravel. A recent rain had left puddles in some of the deeper holes. The grasses were starting to wake up from the winter and the carpet of green tinged with brown made the place feel like home. Colt had seen every season at the Double C, but none of them consecutively. It was a fantasy of his to spend a year in one place, doing one thing, and committing himself to its success. The further he got from the music industry, the easier it was to pretend that it could happen.
“It’s good to have you back, boss.” Toby turned the corner of the drive passing the tall pines that blocked the ranch’s house from view. The sprawling structure was painted a dove grey sporting knotted pine poles that held up the roof of the wrap around porch. Colt couldn’t get away from his roots. His grandparents had a porch very similar and he could remember playing outside until it was too dark to see. He had bought the property with settling down in mind and he had renovated the house with some new additions. That was ten years ago before climbing the charts and dreaming of bigger, more expensive things got in the way.
“It feels good to be back.” Colt pushed open his door as they rolled to a stop and he breathed in a deeply, letting his chest fill to capacity and blowing it back out. His boots thumped on the paving stones that were sandwiched together before climbing the front porch stairs.
“Megan will be back from church in a bit.” Toby called after Colt. “I’ll be in the barn.”
Colt waved over his shoulder, setting down his carry-on bag and his guitar case. It was beautiful here, from
the flat prairie occasionally dotted with pine trees and a soft roll of the gullies. In the distance, Colt could hear a cow bellowing, no doubt looking for her wayward calf. The sound comforted Colt and he turned to go inside.
The winding staircase was a touch of the old house that he couldn’t part with. It was whimsical and seductive to the flow of the house as it led up to the master suite. His room was outfitted with a phenomenal shower and a feather soft, king-sized bed. He wanted both in that order. Colt’s stomach grumbled, but he ignored it for now. If Toby’s sister was coming over, he had better be presentable. At the moment he smelled like cigarette smoke, stale beer, and old lady’s perfume. Nothing about that combination appealed to him and he suspected it wouldn’t for her either.
Colt’s tension melted when the steamy spray hit his muscles and his forehead rested against the cool tile wall. He closed his eyes and focused on every serious thought leaving his brain. He had at least three weeks to figure out what he wanted to do and he prayed that come hell or high water, he would have the guts to act on it. Scrubbing his hands over his face, Colt nearly groaned. He hadn’t shaved since yesterday and the stubble told the tale. Now he was doubly sure he had made an impression on the church people.
Reaching towards the shower caddy where his shampoo usually waited for him, Colt wrapped his fingers around a bottle. His eyes looked at the light purple container that was more of a feminine taste than to his masculine. In the place of his shampoo that smelled of sandalwood, Colt inhaled coconut and mango. He grinned, instantly drawn to the way the tropical scent wreathed around him. Flipping the top of the shampoo, he poured a good amount into his palm and began to massage it into his dark hair. The lather dripped down his back and around his neck. It wasn’t his normal routine and surprisingly, Colt liked the spontaneous act.