by David Welch
Second paused and thought about this for a moment.
“The Europan method is more imprecise, but the similarities between our origins are obvious,” Second said. “But such similarities end there. The control cortex in my brain deprived me of free will, of a consciousness of my own. The is why the ambassador used—”
“Whoa! Whoa, wait,” said Kate, putting down her knitting and getting to her feet. “You had no consciousness?”
“My brain was aware, and I possess memories of those ninety-seven years—”
“Ninety-seven years? There’s no way you’ve been alive ninety-seven years, much less enslaved that long!” declared Kate.
“This is not my first body,” Second replied simply.
The two women stared at her in disbelief, neither doing more than blinking for nearly a minute.
“It was not until Rex had a surgery performed on my brain that I possessed a consciousness of my own,” said Second. “That is why I need to learn from your experiences. I do not know how to make sense of what I am feeling.”
Kate slid onto the arm of Helen’s easy chair, shaking her head incredulously.
“She’s mad,” said Kate.
“I am not insane,” Second replied. “Rex has said as much. He says that I am ‘emotionally inexperienced.’”
“Umm…yeah,” Helen said. “Okay, I don’t really know how to respond to what you’ve just said. It…umm…it seems kind of incredible to me.”
“Others have had similar reactions. But my origins only inform this story; they are not what I came to ask you about,” said Second.
“Right, okay. Let’s just focus in on that then,” said Helen. “How exactly do you think I can help you?”
Second swallowed back, steeling herself.
“I need to know how you removed memories of your suffering and enslavement from your mind,” Second said.
“Removed?” Helen asked, confused.
“I am having trouble functioning. When I was first liberated, I killed the ambassador, the being who enslaved me. I had no emotional hesitation over doing it. But his memory remains. I…I see him sometimes when I sleep. I see what he did to me.”
“Understandable,” said Helen.
“I am aware that others who wished to harm me…could have harmed me in the same way. That if they were to capture me…”
“They would hurt you the way he did?” Helen finished.
“Yes. But despite this I have not been able to act as I did with the ambassador. Whatever emotional impulse allowed me to kill the ambassador seems to be missing. It is confusing…Rex has explained numerous times that there are evil people in the universe, that I must protect myself against them,” Second went on.
“And you think if I help you ‘remove’ the memories of this ‘ambassador’ you will be able to do this?” Helen asked.
Second nodded, saying, “Rex and Lucius have spoken of how the best warriors are ones who approach combat from a logical, unemotional prospective. Clearly I need to be able to do this, or I will continue to freeze and continue to be unable to defend my existence. You were able to excise memories of Lucius from your mind. I wish to know how that is done.”
Helen leaned back in her chair, a sad look coming over her face. She glanced up at Kate, who, despite her earlier distrust, now looked sympathetic. Second did not know why they looked this way, but had a premonition that something negative was about to happen.
“Look, Second…I, uh, I’m not sure how to say this. But I haven’t removed the memories of what Baliol did to me from my mind. If I had, would I have attacked him when you landed?” said Helen.
Second paused for a moment. The logic was unassailable. She hadn’t remembered that when she’d set out from the ship. She felt a flush of embarrassment.
“I did not think of that,” said Second.
“And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you can’t remove memories,” said Helen. “They’re never going to go away.”
“But they must go away,” Second asserted. “They are interfering with my life.”
“Well, yes, they can do that,” said Helen. “There are days when I feel I can barely function because of what happened to me.”
“But you clearly function,” said Second. “And you clearly function sexually despite the nature of your torment. So the memories must not—”
“The memories do bother me, Second,” Helen interjected. “They can never be done away with. You just have to learn how to deal with the pain—how to control and put it behind you so it doesn’t interrupt your day-to-day life.”
“Put it behind me? It is already behind me; it happened in my past,” said Second.
“No…umm…I mean you have to push the thoughts aside in your mind. Push them out of the present,” Helen continued.
“You mean just not think of those events?” asked Second.
“Yes,” Helen said, leaning forward in her chair.
Second paused. Something felt off about this.
“That seems simplistic,” Second replied.
Helen gave her a sympathetic look and nodded. “It is simple, but it’s also hard to do, very hard. It could take some time.”
“But thoughts do not always obey my commands. They have often arisen at random times,” Second said.
“They do, yes. You have to push them aside when that happens; focus your mind on something else,” said Helen. “Again, it’s not easy at first. It’ll take time for you to be able to distance yourself from what has happened.”
“I am a great distance from—” Second said. “Oh, you were not referring to literal distance. You were being metaphorical.”
“Yes, I was,” Helen said with a sympathetic smile.
“What if I cannot control them? If I cannot ‘push them aside’?” asked Second.
“Well then, you have to try and get through the day despite them,” said Helen.
Second paused, mulling this for a second. “Isn’t that lying?”
“Ah, no, not really,” said Helen.
“Wow,” said Kate.
“If I am feeling an emotion but not expressing it, am I not being untruthful?” Second asked.
Helen and Kate shared an incredulous glance. Then Helen smiled again.
“It’s not lying. It’s common for people to feel one way and act another. It’s…how do I put this…okay, what goes on inside your head is yours. You can choose to express it or keep it to yourself. If you don’t want people knowing about it, if you want to keep it to yourself, sometimes you will have to act different than you feel—pretend to feel different than you are,” Kate explained.
“Oh,” Second said. “It still seems untruthful.”
“Well, it isn’t really. It’s just what people do,” Helen said with a shrug.
Second got to her feet, trying to puzzle through Helen’s words. She stood there for a moment, oblivious to the two women staring at her.
“I will have to think about this,” said Second. She turned and made her way toward the door. She paused and turned back to them.
“Thank you for your help,” she said formally. She moved to the door to leave, the other two women getting up behind her. She could hear them whisper as she left.
“What the hell happened to that woman?” asked Kate.
“I don’t know, Katy. Something terrible. Something truly terrible…”
***
Longshot
Lucius lay in his bed, staring blankly at the images ahead of him. On his left floated a holographic sphere showing a radar image of the space around Anglesey. Since Rex and the locals would be using the bridge to watch the interrogation, he was in here, staying away from Helen and, ostensibly, manning the conn. He didn’t know how he was supposed to fly the ship from his cabin should something arise, but figured there was little chance of that happening anyway.
On the right floated another sphere, where The Cool Roan Rider Rides for Justice played in glorious color. It was the third in the series, right afte
r The Cool Roan Rider Rides Again but before The Cool Roan Rider Rides Away, which, despite its title, was not the last in the series. That would be The Cool Rider Rides the Voluptuous Young Widow. Though based on what he’d read on the networks, that film might be a pornographic parody and not part of the actual series.
Rex was not wrong about the appeal of the western. There was something elemental and satisfying about them, what with the nameless rider not putting up with the nonsense and evil that swirled around him in the film’s semifictional frontier world. It would’ve been nice if the actually world was that straightforward. For example, he identified with the main character, the brooding hero who rode a blue horse. Yet he doubted that anybody else on Anglesey would associate him with the hero. If they did, he wouldn’t be closed up in his cabin. Too bad he couldn’t just pull out his gun and lay waste to a thousand bad guys to prove to all that he was a new person, and not the man he once was.
He idly wondered how many of the locals had that same fantasy and how many would make him one of the thousand bad guys—probably a lot.
He sighed, half-paying attention to the movie, when a blip of light caught his eye. Glancing back to the left sphere, he saw a spattering of yellow dots near the edge of the radar screen, approaching the planet. He sat up, examining it.
“Computer, are you getting anything on this bunch moving in?” he asked.
“Nothing definite; atmospheric conditions are impeding the scopes,” the computer replied.
“Anything on the local networks?” asked Lucius.
“Nothing news related. I have detected transmissions from the planet to the selected ships but none in return,” the computer informed him.
“Let Rex know. Could just be a trade convoy, but it could be pirates,” said Lucius. “Best to be safe.”
“Understood.”
Lucius shrugged, and leaned back in his bed. In front of him, the rider walked into a dusty square. Immediately a half-dozen enemies in bandannas stepped out from the shadows, surrounding him. The rider just smiled, as did Lucius, knowing something great was about to happen.
***
The sun was beginning to cast the deep yellow rays of late afternoon when they brought Calidus into the medical bay. Jake didn’t know why it had taken so long, but apparently getting all the council members onto the ship hadn’t been easy. Between their dislike for Lucius, lingering resentment in town, and the generally difficulty of getting any group of people to do something on time, things had dragged. But they had finally made it and now sat in the bridge with Rex and Lucius, watching a holographic projection of the room. Cindy was here with him though, Vermella’s pheromones having no effect on her.
Vermella was on one of the examination tables, sitting straight up. The scanners were retracted into the ceiling, so she had plenty of room. Her hands were cuffed, should she forget her deal and try to escape. Rex was sure the lure of a longer life would keep her subdued, but Jake had his doubts. In fact he had a lot of doubts. Rex’s promise to release her was causing the most trouble. Even if she got the treatments, and her little imprinting virus was destroyed, she would still be free to do her little short-term-enslavement trick. Her pheromones would still be just as potent as ever, able to ensnare any man unlucky enough to draw her attention. How did you just turn loose somebody who could forcefully control half of the human species?
He didn’t know. He suspected Rex was up to something, something he hadn’t told any of them. Perhaps he was worried that if he told the others what he planned then Vermella would be able to find out. She could use her pheromones on Lucius, and just use brute force on Second. Second may have made great strides since becoming a person, but Jake doubted she’d be able to stay quiet if Vermella stuck another blade against her throat.
Of course he himself had nothing to fear in this regard. Vermella couldn’t affect him; that’s why he was in here and everybody else in the bridge, far away from her. But for whatever reason, Rex was playing it close to his chest and leaving him in the dark. At least Jake hoped he was. If he had been telling the truth, if he really did intend to let this woman run free, after all she had done, knowing all she could do…Jake wasn’t sure if he could let that slide.
But he was getting ahead of himself. Right now all he had to do was get her to honor her part of the deal. He pushed Calidus to the examination table opposite Vermella. The Europan stumbled, baring his teeth angrily. Jake ignored the bravado, and forced him onto the table. Calidus was handcuffed, like Vermella. He still looked dangerous though. His expression was almost reptilian as he examined the woman before him.
“So I am not your only prisoner. This whore, she is of interest to the Terrans?” he asked casually.
Jake straightened up from the cabinet. “Well, she’s more of a slut than a whore.”
“This is the man you want me to break?” asked Vermella, her disgust palpable.
“That’s him. Lord Calidus Vasa something-something-something; Europan spy,” Jake informed.
“Oh?” Vermella said, a smile coming to her lips. “I do enjoy Europan lords. Given what they do to their women…it’s a great joy bringing them down to their proper place.”
“Yeah, if I didn’t mention it earlier, this woman really hates men,” Jake said to Calidus.
“Can we get on with this?” Cindy asked.
“Yes, please,” Calidus said confidently. “I do wish to see how this feral female plans to break me.”
“Remember you said that later,” declared Jake. He moved to Vermella and in one motion ripped the duct tape from her neck. She screeched in pain, and glowered at him.
“Do your thing,” Jake said.
Vermella turned to Calidus. He sat with a blank expression on his face, the kind you had to train at to master.
“What is your name?” she asked, pulsing her neck gland.
“They already told you my name,” he replied.
“Yes,” she said, her tone shifting to become gently chiding, almost loving,” but I like hearing a man say his own name. There’s something so much more personal about it. Can you do that for me, Cal?”
Calidus’s eyes narrowed.
“Seduction will not work on me,” he said. “Pretty women are the first thing we are trained to watch out for.”
Jake nodded his head, recognizing that it was already over. Had Calidus been truly in command of his faculties, he wouldn’t have revealed he had been trained to resist a honeypot.
“But why assume I’m here to harm you?” Vermella said, the skin at the bottom of her neck twitching as she flooded the room with synthetic sex pheromones. “Look at me Cal. Do I look like somebody who wants to hurt you?”
“It…it’s not w-what you look l-like…” Calidus stammered.
“Oh come now, Cal. You don’t have to be cold with me. You don’t have to be on guard. Do you really think I would make you do anything you don’t want to? Me?”
“I-I don’t know…know you…” Calidus said between breaths. His eyes were dilating, losing focus.
“You know me Cal! Of course you know me! Come on, look at me! You’ve always known me. You’ve always loved me, right from the beginning. Don’t you remember?” Vermella pushed.
The Europan’s head swam, his eyes blinking rapidly as the last vestiges of control faded away. Then, with a deep breath, he lay down on his side atop the exam table.
“That’s good,” Vermella said, getting to her feet. Cindy flinched, ready to push her back onto the table, but Jake motioned her to stop. Vermella moved over to the other exam table, and placed her bound hands on Calidus’s head. She began stroking his face, slowly, tenderly…obscenely as far as Jake was concerned. What kind of sociopath could look so loving when they were enslaving you?
“You’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you, Cal?” Vermella asked.
“I-I want you…” Calidus whispered.
“I know you do, honey, but you can’t have me, not just yet. There’s something we have to do first.”
“D-do? No…no, I need…” Calidus stammered. He thrust his head forward, into the softness of her breasts.
“Ah, now, now, Cal, you’re getting ahead of yourself,” she said, the skin of her throat twitching a little differently than before. It was a new pattern. A different pheromone? Jake couldn’t be sure, but whatever it was, it had Calidus backing away. He rested his head on the exam table, a contented smile on his face.
“Now, as I was saying, there’s something we have to do first,” she explained. “My friends have just a few questions to ask, nothing big. And when we’re all done, you and I are going to have some fun, right here on this table. How does that sound? Good? ’Cause I can’t wait.”
Calidus nodded absently.
“Goddamn,” Cindy whispered, shocked.
“He’s ready,” Vermella said, turning to them. “What do you want to know?”
“Why is he here? What’s his mission?” Cindy demanded.
“You heard him baby,” Vermella said, stroking Calidus’s forehead. “Tell my friend why they sent you here.”
“Observe…observe and recon…” he said dreamily.
“Observe? Why? To what end?” Cindy pressed.
“Just answer her, dear,” said Vermella. “Whenever she speaks, okay? You know how happy that would make me?”
“It’s…they…they need to know…”
“Who needs to know?” asked Cindy.
“F-fleet does,” Calidus said with a grin. “Location…must be known…”
“Fleet?” said Jake. “Does he mean…”
“Which fleet?” said Cindy, getting in the man’s face. “The Europan fleet?”
“Yeeessss,” slurred Calidus. “Coming…”
Cindy shot up, her spine ramrod straight.
“Coming?” she demanded. “Coming here? Is that what you’re saying?”
Calidus simply smiled.
“Answered it…” he managed. “Didn’t I, baby? How ’bout it?”
Vermella stroked his head some more.
“Soon, don’t worry. Just a few more questions,” she said.
Jake frowned and turned toward the camera in the corner of the med bay.