Guns Don't Kill People...My Uncle Does (A Varied Collection of Short-stories Geared For A Man)

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Guns Don't Kill People...My Uncle Does (A Varied Collection of Short-stories Geared For A Man) Page 5

by Carla René


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  Zen In The Art of Absurdity (2010) In “Sounds Like...A Self-Portrait” we see Fern’s struggle to go for it with Rogers or not. But will her gas keep them apart?

  “Road Rage” shines a light on all those crappy drivers--who are driving YOUR car.

  “See Dick and Jane Beat The Hell Out of Jack and Jill,” is an all-out farce that writers everywhere will love.

  “Sleep Walker” is the same story, told from 3 different points of view, with 3 very different stories emerging.

  An exercise in writing purely horrible fiction is what “The Tokyo Kens” is all about.

  Watch Delores have a controlled meltdown in “It’s All Just Water Under the Fridge.”

  In the essay “We All Need Traditions,” Carla’s mother asked for a pink azalea for Mother’s Day every year. And every year, her dad would buy it, and then mow it down. Why they never got hobbies, we’ll never know.

  “That’ll Be Seven Lipsticks, Please,” is an all-out mockery of Canadians. All Sam’s wife wants is a bathroom. All Sam wants is to find someone who speaks Canglish. Or Englanadian.

  Even the suicide notes from avid shoe-lovers can be funny in “The Suicide Ranks.”

  Find out why living in the south in the winter, and being married to a man who picks his ears with his keys is comic fodder in “Radio Shack, Earwax and Toilet Paper.”

  And finally, “Justifiable Lack of Initiative” teaches us to celebrate our under-achieving, and see why a writer in search of his own writing space is driven to desperation by his wife in “Zen In The Art of Absurdity.”

  * * *

  The Gaslight Journal (2010) The year is 1881. In spite of being in America, how you appear to Victorian high-society determines your future.

  Isabella Audley is on Christmas break from Radcliffe, returning home for the first time in 3 years to Fairtown, NY. Grieving the loss of her father, who died of pneumonia a month before leaving for school, she is excited to finally spend holiday with her mother, Lilly, see cherished friends, and step back into the life of privilege she's always known.

  But her bliss is cut short with rumors of a tragedy that's befallen her mother. While rummaging for decorations one afternoon, "Izzy" discovers her father's journal and reference to his hidden secret, and confronts Lilly.

  Soon, it's evident that their relationship may not stand against Lilly's deception at having prior knowledge of the situation (a dark truth that’s already set the course for their family’s destruction), and it will tear them apart unless they cannot learn how to overcome it.

  Only Thomas, a childhood friend, whom she soon discovers has a secret of his own, has it in his power to pull them from ruin. As Izzy finds herself falling for him, it's apparent that their difference in class, now caused by her slip in status, thanks to the repercussions of her father's secret, may prevent them from finding the happiness they were meant to have.

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