by CORY CYR
I could see his jaw tick with anger. “My brother kept me apprised when I was a kid. He always knew how into you I was. It’s very much a coincidence you and I ended up here.”
My lips twitched with amusement. “Umm… yeah, I do believe carefully calculated by your brother.”
He nodded with a grin. “The best thing he ever did for me. I gather you’re a patient?” he asked.
“I don’t want to talk about that now.”
“Okay, fine. The shower it is,” he said, easing me off the sofa.
I stood, my dress pooling at my feet. I was now as naked as he was. I shivered as I guided both of us to his bathroom. I turned on a steady stream of hot water.
“God, this feels amazing,” he announced, standing under the spray. He pulled my body against his. “Actually, this is better than amazing. I feel inspired. I haven’t been able to write a word since you left.” His hands lingered on my hips and trailed upward, past my chest to my face. “Jensyn, you’re my muse. I suffer lack of creativity without you. Don’t run from me ever again,” he begged, spitting out water.
His hands left my face, searching for the shampoo. “This is shampoo, right?” he asked chuckling.
“Yes, I would tell you if you planned to clean your hair with body soap.”
He poured the shampoo into his hand, dividing it between our heads. He gingerly washed my hair, then his. His hands would occasionally skim my body, but there was nothing sexual in his examination. He always traveled back to my face as though he were trying to understand my anguish. I could feel his chest move in and out as his fingers studied every flaw. His hands trembled in response, as though he were reliving my pain. Sadness poured from him.
I gripped his wrist. “I appreciate you trying to understand, but your expression is destroying me. I don’t want you to be with me out of pity, as though you would be a bad person if you left. I really get it. You are a beautiful man, and you deserve someone by your side that reflects that. That isn’t me, Lincoln.”
He grabbed the buff puff, soaping it up. He began washing my chest, completely ignoring my previous words.
“You can’t pretend it won’t matter,” I said, stopping him as he bathed me.
He dropped the puff and stared. “I loved you before I knew who you really were. I told you before I don’t see you with my eyes, but with my heart. Maybe even my soul. Don’t drive a wedge between us or set us up for failure before you’ve even given us a chance. I don’t give up that easy. You of all people must know that. I’m an adventurer, a risk taker and adrenaline junkie. Stop making this about your face. I don’t care.”
But you will once you get your sight back. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. You’ve earned the right to have mistrust. I can only imagine what you’ve endured, and if Kami’s outburst is an example, that alone destroys me. Now let’s rinse off and go to bed. You didn’t think once would satisfy me. Were you satiated?”
I shook my head as he pushed me forward out the door. I grabbed towels off the vanity, handing him one as I wrapped another around myself. I began combing out my hair, watching his face carefully. I undid my towel and leaned my body against his, cocooning us together.
“This really isn’t going to work. There’s no way I can detangle my wet hair when your dick is directing this show.” I peeked down to see his towel tenting.
I left him in the bathroom as I padded across the room to close the blinds. I no longer trusted the fact that some acrobatic gossipmonger wouldn’t take a picture.
Lincoln traced his steps carefully, making his way to the bed. He had dropped his towel along the way and was fully erect. I kneeled by the bed as he sat on the edge, covering his cock with my mouth.
An unexpected cry came from his lips. “So warm. Jesus, it feels good. Touch my sack.”
I licked my way down his marbled length, then curled my tongue around his sack. I moved upward to suckle the tip, laving the slit. His hands were now in my wet hair, tugging with a sense of urgency. Pre-cum dripped from the crown as I sucked him in, gliding along the roof of my mouth with his engorged flesh.
“Please…” he begged, tilting my head, pushing himself deeper into my mouth. My fingers circled his width as I stroked him, feeding his shaft through my lips. I heard an animalistic cry of release as the grip on my hair became strained. He struggled to gain composure as his dick drove in deeper. I pulled back slightly to keep from gagging as he erupted. I swallowed continuously, his rhythm slowing.
My sex was slick with arousal as I broke his hold on my hair, standing on shaky legs. I wiped my mouth immediately with the back of my hand. It was almost a reflex from previous times.
“I’d say you’re stellar at that. I’ve never had any woman affect me like you do. Your mouth is an amazing asset.”
“Yeah, it’s too bad it’s attached to such a hideous face,” I stated.
He stood immediately, nostrils flaring, teeth gritted, and eyes narrowed. “I can’t have you talking that way about yourself, especially to me. I’m in love with you, and that declaration means all of you. Don’t make it so hard for me to care about you. Give us a chance before you push away. And it will have to be you, because I won’t be the one to give up. If we don’t work, it’s because you walked. And right now, I feel as though you’ve already given up. Don’t do that. Allow yourself some happiness.”
I sat down with my head in my hands. My hair was still damp, hanging in my face as I began to sob.
His hand reached out to me. “Please don’t cry. I can’t bear to think those tears are because of me.”
I wiped my eyes. “Lucas was right. You are a nice guy. I don’t want you to be that man because you think it’s the right thing to do. I was prepared to be broken. I only came back to explain. I wasn’t expecting you—”
He cut me off. “What? You weren’t expecting me to love you. I told you before I had feelings for you. Finding out who you were didn’t change that; it only cleared up a few things. I finally knew why you wouldn’t let me kiss you or touch your face. Why you were so secretive about your past. Finding out you were the Jensyn, my dream woman since I was in sixth grade—”
My turn to cut him off. “Stop. Oh God, you were fucking eleven. Good grief, I’m a child corrupter.”
He laughed. “Not eleven anymore. Nope, not in sixth grade. Know how I know? Never had this big of a cock,” he uttered, placing my hand on his crotch.
I sighed, snapping my hand back. “This is serious, Lincoln.”
“I tried being decisive, and that didn’t appear to work. So many people have hurt you in the past that you’ve confused me with one of them. So I guess what I need to know is do you love me? I get it if you don’t, but I’ve professed it for over two hours, so maybe our feelings aren't the same. I can wait, you know. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll give you all the time you need until you know. And if my words aren’t enough, then I’ll just have to propose.”
“Are you insane?” I blurted out, scarcely aware of my own voice. I could hardly believe what he’d just said.
“If marrying you will prove I mean everything I say, then so be it.”
“Are you listening to yourself? We hardly know each other. You just found out who I am. I would truly be a ball and chain, weighing you down, destroying your career.”
“Are you hearing me, Jensyn? Because what you’re saying is irrational. I am clearly of sound mind. But maybe this comes down to one question, the one you haven’t answered yet. If you tell me you don’t love me, then that’s it. I won’t pursue a relationship. I’ll just wait until you come around. I want to make you happy, and that can only happen if you truly trust me. Now tell me how you feel.”
All I could manage was a hoarse whisper. “After Kami, when I left… I ached. I’ve been alone for years, but when I thought I lost you, it felt like my demise. In that moment, my world was spinning as it had in my accident. It took a lifetime to find you and less than a month to develop feelings for y
ou. But only one moment to lose you.”
He kneeled on the carpet beside the bed, placing his hands on my bare thighs. “You never lost me and you never will. I’m all in if you’ll have me.”
“But what about your editor?”
“I didn’t even know she was here. She parked up the hill and insidiously made her way into the house. I was asleep. I didn’t know jack shit until she woke me up and unloaded her commentary after you’d gone. She told me about the photo and the article but said you were a ‘mystery’ woman. But somehow she found out who you were, and she couldn’t wait to tell me my childhood dream girl was none other than you. That I’d been played, that you were… You know what? It doesn’t matter because I want another editor. I’ve already started by having my management solicit other publishing houses. You do realize I am highly requested. All the big houses want a piece of Bass. Lucky you got the first bite.” He chuckled, pulling himself up, lying beside me.
“Lincoln, I don’t want to disrupt your livelihood. You can’t just get a new publisher because Kami’s a mean girl. I dealt with her kind even before my accident. I’m used to it.”
“Well, I’m not. I’m a commodity; the other houses will bid just to get me. I’m not worried. And I certainly will not be in business with such a cunt. After I heard what she said to you, let’s just say she’s one lucky bitch I’m passive and blind,” he seethed. “I want you to be comfortable. To feel safe. I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I don’t want you to be afraid anymore, not with me. Now tell me everything. I want all the details. No holding back. Be honest.”
“It is what it is. I can’t change it. I will never be the ‘Perfect 10’ again. You would’ve thought, after all these years, I could live with that fact. But acceptance has never come easy. I came to Hawaii to have anonymity. After losing my job, my friends, and almost my life, I chose to live in seclusion. I used to fantasize about normal, but I never thought I’d achieve it or even get close enough to touch it. Then I met you, and for the first time, I could live an average life, or at least pretend to. Not having to be concerned I’d be judged was a dream come true.
“But when we started having sex, everything changed. I was developing feelings for you. And I knew that couldn’t happen.” I bowed my head in guilt. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m not as sympathetic as I portray. My wishes became all about you staying blind.” Lincoln blanched at my confession. “I knew the only reason we were sleeping together was because you couldn’t see my face. Amid my own horrible thoughts, the possibility of your sight returning scared the hell out of me because I knew I’d lose you. Then when I saw Kami, she said everything I anticipated you would say. You say you love me, but I’m not sure that will be enough if you ever truly see me.”
He struggled to find my hand. “Okay, I’ll admit you threw me for a loop with the revelation that you preferred me blind. I’m not sure I’d feel any different if I were in your shoes. I saw your face through my touch. And Kami made sure to give me a full description.
“I can choose to tell you over and over again I don’t care, but until you believe it, it won’t matter. All I can tell you is beauty is so much more than skin, and considering I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, it would have eventually faded anyway, for both of us. Would you love me less when I’m sixty? We can have a good life. You can have that normalcy you’ve always thirsted for, regardless of whether my sight returns or not. I can’t help but think my freak accident is the reason we’re together. And I’ll gladly give up my sight if it means keeping you.”
I recoiled in shock. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do. I always wanted what Maxwell and Suzanne had. Well, minus the guns, death, and mayhem.” He chuckled. “I just assumed I was young and eventually I’d find someone. Well, that happened, and I’m not throwing away this opportunity. We can make this work. Now, will you lie back so I can make kinky monkey love to you?”
“Monkey love?” I asked.
“A phrase for the last chapter I’ve been working on, or maybe the next book,” he whispered, palming my mound. “God, I love your pussy, always so ready and willing to accept my cock.”
I giggled. “So romantic.”
“I can be romantic. Spread your legs and I’ll show you.”
My pussy was drumming as he inserted two fingers, crooking one to rub my tender clit. “Put your knees up.”
“So demanding, Mr. Bass.”
“Hmm… I like that better than God or master,” he teased, sliding along my body, then possessively kissing my mouth. His fingers stayed inside me as he peppered kisses on my neck and breasts. “You taste so good. I may have to eat you later, but right now, I need to bury myself inside that pretty cunt of yours.”
Removing his fingers, he guided himself inside me. His body swiveled as he began thrusting, balancing his hands on my knees. I pushed upward, meeting his strokes, whimpering as he ground into me, licking his chest. My skin tingled. I heard groans as I writhed beneath him. His pupils dilated. His swollen flesh was soaked in my arousal. I could hear the wet sounds of him pulling back, then aggressively pushing into me. His body became slick with perspiration, both of us straining to keep back our orgasm. My pussy convulsed around his dick as a feeling of fullness overcame me. His dick throbbed and tightened, signaling my body to release. I locked onto his biceps as he rocked into me with fury. As my climax met his, I went boneless, my knees relaxing as he lay with his full weight on top.
“Christ, that felt good. I love you,” he said, rolling off to one side, his hand resting on my breasts.
“I may need another shower. We’re sweaty now.”
He snorted. “Yeah, maybe later, but right now I’m starving. Aren’t you hungry?” His hand patted my belly.
“So what you really want is me to make us food, right?”
He placed a hand on each side of my head. “Honestly. Yes. I should replenish my sperm count. Three times in two hours, I’m sure it’s depleted.”
“You’re twenty-five. I’m sure you’re fine. A walking, talking man bursting with virility. But I do agree on the food. I’m rather hungry, too. A blowjob doesn’t make a meal. Maybe a snack,” I taunted.
He sat up. “Okay, you just wrecked my masculinity. This is not a snack,” he declared, fisting his cock. “Well, unless we’re talking those super-sized ones. I can live with that.”
“All right, behemoth dick, let me get dressed and make some grilled cheese.”
“I like that. Behemoth. And don’t get dressed on my account.”
“Yeah, I’ll just run around sans clothing, and if Kami should pop by, that’ll be fun times.”
“You needn’t worry. She’s not coming back anytime soon. In six years, she’s rarely seen me lose my shit—until I heard her gloating about what she said to you. And I’m positive she was floored when I revealed I loved you. It’s the first time I can remember her going mute about anything. I only wish I’d been able to see her fucking face.”
“What about the press? I couldn’t bear for them to find out about me.”
“Fine, then you’ll be the mystery woman. That alone should keep them occupied, but you have to know we can’t suppress the information forever. I think eventually, both you and I will have to face the music. For reasons I can’t seem to fathom, I’m not so preoccupied with that, maybe because this is no longer about me, but now us. I’m much more accepting of the consequences because I have you. I do have you, right?”
I sat up, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Yes, you have me. Now let me throw my dress back on and make us food. You know I’m mad at you. You tore my new panties. Those were expensive, forty dollars.”
He looked appalled. “For underwear? That settles it. You need to go without. Forty dollars, that’s insane.”
I laughed, crawling over him and strutting into the living room to find my dress. I shrugged into it and headed for the kitchen. Lincoln strolled in wearing only gray briefs. Damn, but he was a sight. Lean and mu
scular. He padded to the sounds I was making in the refrigerator, grabbing me by the waist.
He suddenly let go, staggering backward. “Fuck,” he cried, falling to his knees. Panic erupted inside me as I watched his face twist in pain.
“What is it? Should I call 9-1-1?” I asked in alarm.
He shook his head. “No, just wait. This will pass,” he uttered quietly, closing his eyes.
“Is it those flashes? Do I need to call your ophthalmologist?” I asked, squatting beside him. I wanted to touch him, but I didn’t know if I should.
He brushed his hair away from his face, blinking rapidly, his breathing erratic as he leaned against me. “That was a bad one. Thank God it didn’t last long. Would it make sense if I said the light was blinding? It’s so bright it hurts in my head.”
“You need to make an appointment with the doctor. At least get something for the pain,” I stated, helping him up. Were his eyes getting worse? Was this a precursor to some other thing?
“I see him next week, and he did give me pills, but I can’t function. They make me tired, sometimes too tired to even sleep. I don’t want to spend our time crashed out in a coma… again.”
“Ha-ha, very funny,” I remarked as he grinned. I hadn’t even known him then, but the thought scared me. “Why don’t you sit on the sofa and I’ll bring you lunch when it’s ready?” I led him to the sofa and fluffed pillows before he sat.
“Okay, listen. I’m blind, not an invalid. I’ll be fine. I just need a minute to adjust. I think those fuckers are happening more often. I can deal with the dark, but not those goddamn flashes of light. It feels like my skull is exploding… How about that grilled cheese?”
I squeezed his thigh, then walked back to the kitchen. Those bizarre occurrences weren’t accompanied by headaches, not really. The discomfort quit when the episode ended. He was going to see the doctor next week, even if I had to drag him myself. Going out with him in public wasn’t anything I’d considered, but I would put up with the stares. I was worried, and I couldn’t lose him.