Dad followed her, giving me a pointed look as he moved. He had discreetly disappeared when it was time for us to say goodbye.
Cole gave me a big hug, squeezing me tightly. “Thanks for putting up with me for a week. You have no idea how much I needed it.”
“I loved having you stay with us. You know I’m always here for you, whether that is in person or on the phone,” I replied. “You’re never really alone.”
“I know.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“We’ll all get together and see if Scott managed to get all the legal stuff sorted out. If we’ve still got a record label, we’ll start working on the new album. We need to prove that we’re still the same band without Luke.”
“It’s his loss, okay? Not yours.”
Cole nodded. “Yeah. I’m just going to miss him, you know? He was one of my best friends.”
I gave him another hug, trying to convey everything I couldn’t with words alone. “Will you text me when you land?”
“The moment we touch down.”
“I’m going to miss you so much.” Tears were starting to prickle my eyes and I tried to blink them away. It was just so difficult always saying goodbye and never knowing when we would be able to see each other again.
“We’ll see each other again soon, I’ll make sure of it. Okay?” Cole planted a kiss on my lips and I tried to lock it into my memory so I could remember how his lips felt against mine.
His town car pulled up and it was time he left. Cole’s eyes were tearing up. I saw them even though he quickly wiped them away.
I watched him leave from the window while the media surrounded the car and took a million pictures. The car left and took the boy I loved with it.
Goodbyes were difficult and I was tired of having them. Cole, my mother, the memories of them leaving crowded my mind and tried to block out any of the good memories I had of them.
It was about time I started saying hello to them. I found Dad and Jemma in her bedroom, sitting on the floor and reading through a book together. My father wasn’t normally home so much, it was nice having him around more often.
“Dad,” I started, wondering how I was going to get the rest of my words past my lips.
They both looked up at me. “Yes, honey?”
I swallowed down all my fear and replaced it with courage. I could do this. It was time. “I want to talk to Mom.”
Perhaps I was crazy, or perhaps I was just star crossed.
Stardust
Chapter One
I thought school exams were scary.
I was wrong, they were a piece of cake compared to sitting in the cafe and waiting to speak to my mother. My leg was shaking, trying to get rid of the nervous energy flying around my bloodstream.
I had been younger than Jemma when I last saw my mother. She made her position very clear when she walked out on us. She left my father, my little sister, and me like it was no big deal.
Like we didn’t matter.
And now she expected us to take her back and accept her as our mother? She was crazy. The only reason I’d agreed to this meeting was because I was curious about her reasons for doing what she did. Plus, I wanted to protect Jemma. There was no way she was going to meet with our so-called mother without me getting the lowdown first.
My cellphone beeped with a text message. My first thought was that my mother was cancelling, that she’d changed her mind about being a mother again.
I picked up my phone and saw the message was from Cole. I sighed with relief. A text from my boyfriend was definitely more welcome than my suspicions.
Hope it all goes well. I’m here to talk if you need me. Love, C xxooxxoo
My lips quirked into a smile as I finished reading. Cole Newton may be one of the biggest singers of our time, but he still remembered my meeting. He was probably in a limo or on a private plane, doing something fabulous.
But I was the one on his mind.
I had to love him for that.
Before I could text back a reply, a woman stood next to me. I saw her red sandals first, then her white dress that cut just below the knee. Finally, my eyes reached her face.
My mother.
I don’t know what exactly I expected, but it wasn’t this. She was older than I remembered, which made sense considering so much time had passed. But there was something else different about her, too. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“Hello, Melrose,” she said, kindly, like she hadn’t abandoned me when I most needed her. She stood there next to the table, as if I was supposed to stand up and give her a hug.
She was going to be waiting for a long time.
“You should probably sit down if we’re going to talk,” I replied, with no hint of emotion in my voice. It was taking all my self-control not to cry and get emotional about seeing her again. I needed to keep a hold of myself, otherwise I was going to get hurt all over again.
She finally sat. “Have you ordered something? I could get us some coffees. Do you drink coffee?”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay, then.” Her fingers twined together on the table, instantly making me remember how she used to do that all the time. Whenever she was nervous or after having a fight with my dad, her fingers would link together like she was holding her own hand for reassurance. “You’re looking so beautiful, you’ve grown up into such a gorgeous young woman.”
Compliments were not going to reel me back in. “No thanks to you.”
Hurt flickered in her eyes and guilt crept into mine. I didn’t want to make her suffer, but I also kind of did. The mental scars she had inflicted on me when I was a kid were too deep to forget so easily. This woman had walked out on us, surely she couldn’t expect us to welcome her back so readily.
She shifted in her seat. “I will remember to tell your father what a good job he did in raising you and Jemma.”
“Don’t talk about her. You don’t get that privilege.”
“I’ve never stopped loving you both. Not a day has passed that I haven’t thought about you.” She cocked her head to one side, her eyes pleading with me to believe her.
I wanted to.
God, I wanted to.
But those scars ran so deep. I owed it to Jemma to find out what she really wanted from us. I couldn’t let her off the hook so easily. Even if it cost me a piece of my heart being so cold. “Why are you here? After so long, what’s the point? Are you back just so you can mess with us again?”
“I’d like to get to know you,” Mom replied. “I promise there is nothing more. I have no intention of making your life any more difficult than I have already.”
“Why’d you do it then?” The question slipped from my lips earlier than I had planned. I was going to let her do all the talking, yet I couldn’t keep myself under control.
Emotions were a pest.
Chapter Two
My mother gave a small smile, one that I would have thought comforting when I was little. “I was suffering with depression. Back then, it wasn’t so accepted as it is now. There wasn’t the help around that I needed. In my mind, you were all much better off without me. I left, and it was quite a number of years later that I got the help I needed.”
“You could have told Dad, at least given us something so we didn’t think you hated us.” Tears were starting to sting my eyes and I angrily wiped them away. I needed to stay calm so I could say to her everything I wanted to.
“I tried to, I really did. But how do you explain to your husband and daughters that you feel like poison to them? I was the dark cloud hanging over you and I could see nothing that would make the situation better except to remove myself.” Her eyes were starting to water too, but she made no attempt to hide it. “I never meant to hurt anyone. I just wanted to make everything better, the only way I knew how.”
I remembered back to the few months and days before she disappeared. I must have thought about those days a million different times already, trying to work ou
t if there was anything I could have said or done to make it all better.
No matter how many times I relived those days, I always came up empty. Maybe I was too young to see the signs, maybe I never wanted to see the bad in the situation because I wanted to believe my mother was perfect, or maybe it was just that the signals weren’t there.
We’d been educated at school in Health class about depression. I was now trained to look for the signs. Back then I was only a kid, the word depressed didn’t exist in my vocabulary. I certainly wouldn’t have known to look for it in my parents.
“Melrose, I need you to say something,” my mother said, her pleading eyes adding to her begging. If she was Dad or Jemma, I would tell her everything was okay, that I forgave her. But she was still the woman who I’d hated for many years.
Forgiveness wasn’t that easy.
It wasn’t about punishing her or trying to make her feel worse, it was just that I wasn’t able to pretend everything was instantly all right. Because it wasn’t all right. She could still disappear once more and then we would have to grieve for her all over again.
Time was what I needed. And I also needed her to prove that she wanted to be here. Pretty words were nothing, they could be lies all too easily. Actions spoke much louder.
“What do you want from me?” I asked. If she wanted me to talk, then I would. But she might not always like what I had to say.
“I want to be a part of your life. That’s all I want, honey, nothing more.”
“We can talk, Mom. But on one condition.”
Her face brightened with hope. “Anything. I’ll agree to anything if I can be here for you.”
“Jemma stays out of it,” I said. “You can only talk to me and she doesn’t know anything about it. You have to leave her alone. She suffered so much the first time you left, I will not put her through that again.”
I was older, I could handle it better if Mom decided to leave again. I wouldn’t get my hopes up like my little sister would. It would take her a whole five seconds to forgive her and pretend we were one big, happy family again. Jemma would only set herself up for a fall and I wouldn’t let that happen.
The hope in Mom’s eyes died. “She’s my daughter too, Melrose. I need to mend my relationship with her too.”
“That’s my condition. You either accept it or you don’t see me at all.”
She hesitated, trying to think of a way she could change my mind. If she really knew me, she would know that was impossible. Something she would have known if she hadn’t abandoned me in the first place.
“Okay,” she finally replied. “We’ll take this one step at a time. Maybe one day you’ll let me see Jemma too.”
Once she had proven herself, yes.
But that was a very big if.
We swapped phone numbers and our meeting was over. When I left the café, my hands were still shaking. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be able to have a conversation with the woman who had given birth to me.
Miracles officially happened.
I called Cole as soon I got home, needing to hear his reassurances that I was doing the right thing. A part of me suspected I was crazy, I needed confirmation that I wasn’t.
His phone went straight to voice mail. I left a message, telling him I was looking forward to seeing him next weekend. Maybe it was a conversation best left until we were face to face, anyway.
Jemma wanted to know where I’d been all morning so I made up a lie about hanging out with Dallas. She wouldn’t have suspected I was actually gabbing with our estranged mother. Watching her play with her Barbies reminded me that I was doing the right thing by keeping it from her. She was too young and innocent to know how to protect her own heart.
I knew how.
My mother had taught me that when she left.
I could not wait until I saw Cole again. One more week to go and I would be in his arms.
Just a mere seven days.
Chapter Three
Flying in a private jet never got old. Every time I boarded it was bittersweet. I loved the luxury, the way the attendant showered me with attention, and just how awesome it was getting to fly in my own jet.
On the other hand, I hated flying. It was something I could not get used to no matter how many times I had to go meet Cole while he was away working. I both dreaded it and highly anticipated it.
The jet took me to Miami where it was beautiful and warm. The beaches were long, white, and sandy, the water was crystal blue and inviting. If Two Dimension had to record an album somewhere, Miami was a good choice.
I thanked everyone before I took the stairs down to the tarmac. Someone was holding a big sign up:
I am your biggest fan, Melrose!
I laughed as I recognized the legs. My feet couldn’t get me to him fast enough. I pulled away the sign and planted my lips firmly on Cole’s.
He wrapped me up in a hug, one warmer than the lava from an active volcano. I hated saying goodbye to Cole, but I absolutely loved saying hello to him.
“I think you’re my only fan,” I joked when I could breathe again. Cole had a way of taking my breath away whenever he looked at me with those gorgeous eyes.
“I’m sure you’ve got way more,” he said, kissing me again. “But I will always be your biggest fan.”
I wasn’t going to argue with him, not when my stomach was going crazy with butterflies. He always had that effect on me, no matter how long we’d been together.
Goodbyes were always difficult but the hellos were incredibly amazing. Sometimes the only thing that got me through saying goodbye to Cole was the little voice in the back of my head already anticipating the next hello.
It was official, I was completely, madly, truly in love with Cole Newton.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
When he released me from his wonderful hug, and he kept his lips to himself for a moment, I was finally able to think again. “You said you were too busy to pick me up today.”
A cheeky smile spread over his mouth. “I thought I’d surprise you.”
And there went the butterflies once more.
We linked our hands, threading our fingers together so we couldn’t be separated. At least not for a while, anyway. The downside to the hellos was knowing there would also be a goodbye. The anticipation went both ways.
We climbed into the waiting car and the driver took off without having to be told our destination. The boys of Two Dimension were in the recording studio, making their next hit record. We pulled up outside the studio in no time.
“I hope you don’t mind hanging around while we record,” Cole said. I knew what I signed up for. The downside of dating a member of the biggest selling boy band in history was that he worked a lot. Wherever he was, I would spend time with him.
Even if that meant hanging out with his three closest friends.
“Of course I don’t mind,” I replied. “I can’t wait to hear your new songs.”
“I hope you like them.”
I wouldn’t just like them, I would love them. Besides being Cole’s girlfriend, I was also a huge fan of the band. I looked forward to their new songs like every other teenager on the planet.
And I got a sneak peek.
The recording studio was just like I’d pictured it. Large glass booths surrounded a central hub with about a bazillion buttons on the table. A middle-aged guy with a hipster beard sat in the middle of it all, controlling all those buttons.
I leaned in to Cole so I could whisper, “How does he know what all the buttons do?”
Cole flashed me a smile. “He doesn’t. It’s just a lucky guess every time.” He nudged me, sharing the joke with just me.
The other guys, Dylan, Reed, and Nick were already in the recording booth with earphones on. They each gave me a wave in greeting, which I returned.
It still felt weird not seeing Luke with the others. He was taking a break and nobody in the band had heard from him since his departure. As much as all the fa
ns unfairly blamed me for the breakup, I had nothing to do with it. I missed Luke just as much as they did.
Cole missed him too. He said it just wasn’t the same without Luke. He was one of his best friends, the way he left still stung him. He didn’t mind so much that he wasn’t part of the band anymore, it really hurt that he’d lost a best friend.
“Try not to judge until you hear the final version,” Cole said as he pulled over a chair so I could sit next to Hipster Beard. “I hope you like it.”
He hurried to join the others in the booth and Hipster Beard spoke into a microphone, telling them that they could begin on three. He counted them down and then the boys sang.
I listened with rapt attention, immersing myself in the lyrics and music. Just like always, their voices were perfectly in harmony. They weren’t just gorgeous, they were supremely talented too. If there were any doubts that they deserved their stellar career, listening to them sing live completely wiped them away.
I could have easily listened to them sing all day and into the night. It was impossible to get tired of hearing them do their thing. The new songs were a mixture of bright, happy ones and slower, sadder ballads.
There was a song called ‘Moving On’ which almost brought tears to my eyes. It was clearly about how much they missed Luke and how much his absence was felt. They didn’t harp on about the way he left, instead they were trying to find a way to move on without him. It was obviously written from the heart.
They say guys don’t express their feelings very well. That may be true for others, but the boys of Two Dimension put their feelings into song lyrics so well there was no doubt I could look into their hearts and know what was going on.
The boys finished up and Hipster Beard told them they were done for the day. It was still only four o’clock in the afternoon, they usually worked well into the night most days.
Star Crossed Collection Page 5