by J. R Fox
As guilt from not being honest with Deacon settled in his stomach, he added, “I’ve been with two alphas before you and I hated just about every second of it. I didn’t realize that could be anything other than painful and awkward. I’m still processing.”
“Oh,” Deacon said softly. “Well, on behalf of all of us, I’m sorry most of us are assholes. And I’d be happy to do this again, if you need. Or want.”
Jonas swallowed thickly. He did want to do this again. He wanted to do it again regularly and raise his child with Deacon and live happily ever after, but it just wasn’t that simple. “I’ll let you know. What are friends for, right?”
“Right,” Deacon said, though Jonas didn’t miss the note of sadness in his voice.
***
Halfway through his workday, Deacon recognized the growing unease he’d been feeling since he left the house for what it was—he’d left his pregnant mate at home, alone. The realization was intensely uncomfortable, and Deacon looked for a better explanation, but none made themselves apparent.
His dragon side had completely taken to the idea that Jonas was his mate, and short of Jonas dropping dead—which was the last thing Deacon wanted—it wasn’t going to be convinced otherwise.
More importantly, if he was suffering from their separation, then Jonas was suffering too. Probably more severely than Deacon was, since he was the one who was actually pregnant.
Deacon excused himself as needing to see to a family emergency, and got up to head home.
He found Jonas curled up on the couch, asleep, but with tear tracks running down his face. Without missing a beat, he sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug, trying to make as much contact with him as possible. Jonas made a tiny, sad noise as he woke, but sighed with relief when he realized Deacon was there, and snuggled close.
They sat like that for a handful of minutes without talking, just basking in each other’s presence and calming down. Eventually, Jonas shifted so he was sitting on top of Deacon, a clear indication that Deacon wasn’t allowed to move in the near future.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Jonas said softly. They both knew what he was talking about. Their fake mating had become as real as any genuine, intentional one would be, and that was something they were both going to have to deal with now.
“I know.” Deacon sighed, unsure of what he should say next. “But… we’ll figure this out, okay? I…”
Deacon hesitated. He wanted to tell Jonas the whole truth, to let him know that he wasn’t upset about this at all, but he didn’t know if Jonas would take it well. On the other hand, surely he deserved that level of honesty? If they were going to be mated, they could hardly keep secrets from each other.
“I’m not exactly devastated about this,” he admitted, hoping Jonas wouldn’t be too taken aback. “I never took a mate because no one ever compared to you. I wanted to ask you a hundred times, but I knew you weren’t interested, so…”
Jonas was silent for a few moments, then he sat back to look Deacon in the eyes. “Is that true?”
“One hundred percent. And I know this isn’t what you want, I know you weren’t looking for a mate, but I promise to be good to you. I’ll even work on being worthy of you, one day. And I will protect you and the baby from everything that could possibly hurt you, you’ve gotta know I care you and your kid more than anything in the world.” Deacon watched Jonas’ face carefully, hoping against hope that he’d at least be given a chance to prove what a good mate he could be.
“Our kid,” Jonas said softly. “She’s yours, too. I never intended to take that away from you, I just never thought… I mean, I’m no one. There are better omegas from better families who are much easier to get along with. I can’t imagine why you’d want me.”
“I like a challenge.” Deacon laughed. “And you were always that. In the entire time I’ve known you, you haven’t treated me like an alpha once. Or, I guess you have, but you’ve never just… given in to me. I always loved that. I always loved you.”
Jonas took a deep breath and let it out slowly, moving forward to lean his head against Deacon’s, so that they were touching forehead-to-forehead, nose-to-nose. “You would make such an amazing mate. And an excellent father. There’s no one else in the whole world I’d trust with my baby. Not like I’d trust you.”
“So…” Deacon trailed off, hope blossoming in his chest. Was Jonas saying what he thought he was saying?
“So I’d be honored to be your mate, but I’m not about to start giving in to you now.” Jonas tilted his head to peck Deacon on the lips. “I’m not quitting my job, but I am going to cut back so I’ll have time for the baby. I’m having another baby after this one and I’m considering it your responsibility to get me pregnant again. I am going to learn to cook things more exciting than pasta with sauce from a jar, but only in the interest of equality and personal development. I’m not ironing. I don’t own any clothes that require ironing, the ironing is your problem.”
Deacon laughed delightedly, relief and affection washing over him in equal measures. “No ironing. That’s totally fair. I’ll keep cooking until you’re confident you’ve got stuff figured out. I will also get up for midnight feeds and diaper changes and general baby issues.”
“Yeah, you will. But I knew that. I’ve got you well-trained.” Jonas grinned. “You know what would make me really, really happy right now?”
“What?” Deacon asked, willing to do anything Jonas cared to name.
“Getting in some practice for that next baby.” Jonas’ eyes sparkled. Deacon felt a wave of pride wash over him, remembering Jonas’ confession from yesterday that he’d never enjoyed sex before. As far as Deacon was concerned, they were both going to enjoy it for the rest of their lives.
“Then I’ll race you to the bedroom.” He wiggled his eyebrows, waiting for Jonas to scramble off him before chasing him through the apartment, both of them laughing delightedly all the way.
Chapter Five
Jonas had woken up uncomfortable, and nothing Deacon could say or do made any difference. He’d tried resting, he’d tried working to take his mind off it, and neither had helped.
When his waters finally broke, over a week early, it was one part relief, one part sheer terror. As Deacon herded him into the car, Jonas thought he was dealing with this much better than his mate, who kept telling him not to panic, but wasn’t doing a great job of not panicking himself.
In Deacon’s defense, he was as new at this as Jonas was. He just wasn’t the one who was about to have to give birth.
To his surprise, once they got to the hospital, Deacon calmed down and went into full alpha mode, stating clearly and with a great deal of authority why they were there, what was happening, and who needed to be called to deal with it.
The trick with being a dragon was that whenever you ended up in a human hospital—which was practically the only kind available, except in small dragon-only communities—you had to state that clearly and to as many people as possible, before they started trying to treat you as though you were completely human.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Jonas grabbed Deacon’s hand when he got a chance to, among the flurry of activity going on around them. He was also grateful for the private room Deacon had convinced him to go for, because he wasn’t sure how well he’d deal with having to do this in front of a lot of people.
“I’m glad I’m here, too.” Deacon leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You lie down, I’m gonna see how they’re doing with getting your doctor over here.”
Jonas followed instructions and tried not to focus on the growing, sharp pains in his stomach. This was all going to be over soon, and then he’d have a beautiful baby to show for it. It was fine. There was no need to panic.
It was probably okay to panic a little, though, since this was a scary, painful thing to go to, and he really needed Deacon right beside him for this if at all possible. Thankfully, Deacon returned with Jonas’ doctor in tow and took his hand again.
>
“You’re doing great. Just talk to me while the doc checks things out, okay?”
“We never talked about names.” Jonas said, suddenly worried that they’d forgotten this relatively important step.
“Well, we can talk about them now,” Deacon suggested. “What’ve you got in mind?”
Jonas made a soft, pained noise as a contraction hit him, and held Deacon’s hand a little tighter. “I have no idea,” Jonas admitted. He hadn’t thought about names at all. “Esme, maybe, for a girl? It’s pretty.”
“Esme is a really pretty name, but since it’s definitely going to be a boy, you gotta come up with a boy’s name,” Deacon teased. Jonas appreciated that he was trying to keep his mind off what was going on further down the bed, especially since it was working.
“Deacon if it’s a boy. No question. Named after the single most important person in my life, and the person I’d like him to be like,” Jonas said, with more sincerity than he expected to. Being mated to Deacon was still so new to him that sometimes, the realization of how incredibly in love with him he was hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest.
“Oh,” Deacon blushed to the tips of his ears. “Well. I guess… that’d be okay. You don’t have to, though.”
“Well, no, because it’s going to be a girl,” Jonas said. He was positive it was.
Deacon was about to answer when the doctor tapped him on the shoulder to interrupt.
“There is a small complication in that the baby has its wings out in the womb. The danger is that the sharp edges might do quite a lot of internal damage if we try a natural birth, so I’m going to strongly advise a C-section instead. I know it’s not what you wanted, Jonas.”
Jonas swallowed. The thought of major surgery was terrifying, but it sounded like a better option. He’d heard of births like this, and how dangerous—or potentially fatal—they were. “It’s fine. No one could have prevented this.”
“We can still do the procedure with a local anesthetic, so you’ll be awake for the birth. If that’s what you want,” the doctor offered.
“No. Nuh-uh, no way in hell am I letting you cut me open while I’m awake,” Jonas responded. Surgery was bad enough, but having to be aware of it happening wasn’t something he was ready to deal with. “Knock me out and wake me up when she’s here.”
“Okay.” The doctor nodded, clearly satisfied that a decision had been made. She was a serious woman, but extremely good at her job and highly recommended for dragon pre-and antenatal care. “Then we’ll get you prepped in a few minutes. You might want to give Deacon any last orders.” She winked.
“Did you grab my overnight bag on the way out? I forget.”
“Got it in the car. If it’s all the same I’ll go get it while you’re in recovery rather than, y’know, before.”
“My understanding is that it’s not a terribly lengthy procedure. And extremely safe. I’ll be fine,” Jonas reassured him.
“You’d better be. I’ll be seriously pissed if you die on me,” Deacon said, worry obvious in his tone.
“Won’t happen. I promise.” Jonas reached out to take his hand again. “I will be giving you hell for the next hundred years, at least. And you promised me another baby, remember?”
“You still up for that?” Deacon raised an eyebrow.
Jonas gasped as another contraction hit him, as if on cue. “Still up for it. A little pain isn’t nearly enough to scare me off.”
“Yeah, well. I love you, okay? So come back in one piece.”
“Deal.” Jonas smiled up at Deacon, and kept hold of his hand while nurses began to prep him for surgery, until he was wheeled away. The few minutes between his room and the operating room were the most terrifying of his life to date, but he kept telling himself that it’d all be worth it when it was over.
When Jonas came to again, he was back in the room he’d started in, and intensely sore across his stomach.
“I owe you fifty bucks.” Deacon said from the armchair off to the side, where he was holding a tiny wrapped bundle, wing tips sticking out of the top of the blanket covering her.
“I told you so.” Jonas held his arms out for the baby even as Deacon was getting up to hand her over. His face split into a grin as he took her weight and looked down at her peacefully-sleeping face, complete with a tiny horn on the end of her nose that would fall off in a few days when her ability to shift between forms faded.
It was lucky baby dragons didn’t get that back until they were toddlers, or they would have been impossible to manage in human circles. Although, many dragon parents said it was a shame they got it back at all before they were adults, because a toddler who could fly was possibly the fastest, most difficult to watch creature on Earth.
“She’s so perfect,” Jonas said softly.
“Duh. She’s your baby. Of course she’s perfect.”
“Our baby,” Jonas corrected.
“You know you don’t have to be my mate anymore, right? You can break the tie between us.”
Deacon was right. The best time—the only time, really—to break a mating bond was immediately after the birth of a baby, a biological safeguard to prevent an omega being stuck with an alpha who produced unhealthy children. If he wanted to be free of Deacon, this was his chance.
“I told you, I’m here to give you hell for at least the next hundred years. You’re not getting rid of me.” Jonas smiled up at him. “Besides, look at her.”
“Yeah.” Deacon beamed down at the baby. “She’s pretty great. Just like her dads.”
“You hear that?” Jonas cooed at Esme, who was still fast asleep. “Everyone thinks you’re great. You’re going to be so loved.”
Deacon kissed his head, then reached out to touch the tip of one of Esme’s wings, wrapped around her tiny body. They were a deep, jewel purple, somewhere midway between the color of Deacon’s and Jonas’, as expected. She’d become a beautiful dragon when she was older, and Jonas couldn’t wait to watch her grow.
***
One year later.
Deacon’s life, as far as he was concerned, was pretty great. He had a gorgeous, loving mate who, though occasionally sullen and abrasive, was also thoughtful, and kind, and warm. He had a beautiful daughter who was getting smarter and stronger by the day, and was going to be one hell of a handful once she got walking figured out, which was, thankfully, a while away yet.
He’d had a few more victories for dragon rights, and every one of them seemed sweeter when he thought about how they’d affect Jonas or Esme, and not just the population in general. They were on the verge of getting some real social change through, and it was an exciting time to be in politics—even if he’d had to lie about his relationship with Jonas to stay there. He could work on that later, too, so no one else would have to do it.
He wouldn’t have had it any other way, though. Deacon couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without Jonas, but he knew it wouldn’t be anywhere near as good.
But the best thing in his new life, by far, was that when he’d woken up this morning, Jonas’ scent had changed. They’d been trying for a new baby for a few months, and while the trying was fun, having succeeded was a whole lot better. Deacon made breakfast as calmly as he could while Jonas was in the shower, fighting to stop himself from running into the bathroom to tell him.
He supposed it was the wrong way around, but Deacon wanted to time the surprise perfectly.
Jonas came out into the kitchen wrapped in a towel with his hair still wet, and leaned over into Esme’s crib to play with her for a few moments before settling down at the table.
Deacon put a plate of choc-chip pancakes—Jonas’ favorite—in front of him, and sat down opposite, trying not to grin too broadly at him and give himself away.
“You seem to be in a good mood,” Jonas said. “I mean, not that I’m surprised. I’m told by an extremely reliable source that I’m great in bed.”
“You are,” Deacon agreed. It wasn’t even close to the first time he’d agreed
with that. “That has definitely contributed to my mood,” he said cryptically.
“So what’re you up to today?” Jonas asked, already starting in on his pancakes. Even in a towel and with his mouth full, Deacon was struck by how beautiful Jonas was when he looked up. Over a year later, he could barely convince himself that this was all real, that he was mated to the person he’d wanted most in the world, and that that person was happy with him.
Happy with him, and pregnant with their second child. It was so exciting that Deacon was surprised he hadn’t burst yet.
“I thought I’d take today off, actually. Stay home for once.”
“Oh?” Jonas looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “I mean, not that you’re not extremely welcome to do that. I’ll even admit to being a little clingy today, so I would be very into you being around here all day, but… there isn’t anything wrong, is there?”
“No, nothing wrong.” Deacon shook his head. “I was actually thinking we should celebrate.”
“Celebrate?” Jonas asked. Deacon forced himself not to grin.
“Uh huh. But first, you should probably take a pregnancy test.”
Deacon finally allowed himself to smile as he watched realization wash over Jonas’ features. Jonas swallowed his current bite of pancake and set his fork down.
“Are you saying…?”
“That you smell pregnant? Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”
Jonas made a sound that could only be described as pure joy and pushed his seat away from the table, scrambling his way around it to drop himself in Deacon’s lap and hug him tightly.
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty positive. I still remember what you smelled like with Esme,” Deacon said. He didn’t mention that it made him want to keep Jonas safe at home until he gave birth—it was only an unnecessary protective instinct, and Jonas would never, ever allow it—but he was sure of what he was feeling, and therefore, sure of what he was smelling. They were going to have another baby.