by J. R Fox
“All right,” Wolfric agreed. “I’ll move in here.”
“Tonight?” Edhel asked.
“Tonight.” Wolfric snuggled a little closer to Edhel and let himself relax. He’d quit if he had to—he’d have to quit once he had a child to care for, anyway. Nothing was more important than that.
***
Edhel had spent much of his life content, and not wanting for anything more than he already had. He was good at his job and happy doing it, his life was quiet and mostly free from external stress, and though he had few friends, he never really felt lonely. It was a pleasant existence.
Wolfric moving in with him, and their baby growing inside him, was the first time he realized he hadn’t been truly happy. His life was suddenly about something outside of himself, and though he’d often thought sharing it would make him miserable, the opposite was true.
He’d fallen in love with Wolfric, hard and fast, and he was looking forward to raising a child with him.
A child which, by all indications, would be here sooner than either of them had expected. Within a month, Wolfric was beginning to show.
“I should have expected this,” Edhel said, running the palm of his hand over Wolfric’s belly. He couldn’t help smiling. Though he was still recording everything for research purposes, it was about more than that to him, now. “It makes sense that we would have needed to develop faster before we had reliable access to food and shelter. Does it hurt at all?”
“It doesn’t hurt, but I can feel it. I feel stretched. Tight.”
Edhel hummed thoughtfully, but ultimately decided this sounded normal enough. He laid his hand flat against Wolfric’s stomach to perform a small spell that was known to help expectant mothers with the discomfort of pregnancy. Medical magic was far from his area of expertise, but simple things were easy enough to grasp. Anyone could clean a wound or massage a strained muscle, and some magic was like that, too.
“That’s a little better.” Wolfric smiled. “Thank you.”
“I want you to be happy.” Edhel smiled, leaning in slowly to kiss Wolfric’s lips. The closer he was to a happy, comfortable Wolfric, the happier he was himself, these days. Thankfully the near-constant need for the closeness of sex had subsided somewhat, but Edhel liked to be close enough to Wolfric to touch him as often as possible.
He still left his rooms occasionally, to teach a class or meet a student who’d made an appointment, but he’d informed the university that he was attending to personal matters and his time for unscheduled hours was, as of now, zero. They hadn’t been thrilled, but they’d accepted it. Edhel wasn’t quite irreplaceable, but he would have been difficult enough to replace that it was worth it to them to go along with his requests.
“I am happy,” Wolfric smiled a tiny, shy smile at him, blushing high on his cheeks. “I didn’t know I could be this happy,” he added, echoing Edhel’s earlier thoughts.
Edhel opened his mouth to say I love you, but decided against it. Things were good now. There was no need to make Wolfric feel as though there was a rush on them developing further.
“Me neither,” Edhel said instead, and kissed Wolfric gently again. They had plenty of time to figure out their feelings for each other, and they needed to do so as the spell’s influence faded. Edhel couldn’t imagine ever feeling differently about Wolfric, but it was still a better idea to wait.
Until then, he could still enjoy Wolfric’s company and hope that he’d want Edhel’s help to raise his child once he’d given birth to it. Edhel was looking forward to having a family of his own, and that day couldn’t come soon enough for him.
Chapter Four
Two months into his pregnancy, Wolfric didn’t like leaving Edhel’s rooms at all anymore, which he realized would quickly become a problem. The four walls of the tower rooms were comforting, but also confining, and he knew it probably wasn’t good for him or the baby to stay inside all day.
What he couldn’t handle, though, was the way people looked at him in the street. Perhaps it was his imagination, but he got the feeling they all knew he wasn’t simply carrying extra weight. As time went on, he felt less and less safe outside, until he could only bring himself to leave when Edhel was with him.
Now, he was beginning to feel like he couldn’t leave at all.
“I want you to be happy,” Edhel said to him when he explained this. “If that means not leaving these rooms, that’s okay. I’ll bring you everything you need.”
Wolfric was still unsure. He felt as though Edhel would grow tired of his neediness and eventually throw him out if he couldn’t be at least a little self-sufficient. The prospect of that was a hundred times worse than the way people looked at him outside.
“That would be unfair on you.” Wolfric looked down at his feet. “You’ve taken such good care of me.”
“Wolfric…” Edhel hesitated, then took a deep breath. “I’m doing this because I care very deeply for you. I know we haven’t really discussed it, but I’m hoping to be a part of your life, and the baby’s, long after you’ve given birth. There’s no effort too great for me when it comes to either of you.”
“You want… you want…” Wolfric’s head spun. Edhel wanted this to go on after the baby had been born. Wolfric had never even considered the possibility, still thinking himself a burden to the other man. Perhaps everything he’d imagined was wrong. “I thought this was just an experiment for you?”
Edhel’s expression changed to one of apprehension. “It was, and then it wasn’t. I mean, it started out that way, but my feelings have changed.” Edhel swallowed. “I care very, very deeply about you and your baby, Wolfric.”
As far as Wolfric was concerned, this was all new information. He wasn’t sure what to think about any of it, but Edhel was standing there, waiting for an answer.
Wolfric wanted to have a family. A baby was an important part of that, but he wanted a partner, as well. He’d just given up on finding one.
Edhel, as far as he was concerned, was perfect. Caring and kind, educated, sensible if a tad eccentric, and very handsome. There was a time in his life when Wolfric would have pursued someone like Edhel to the edge of the Earth, and jumped over after him if he’d fallen.
Now he was being offered the chance to keep him, no need to chase. It was enough to make him feel faint, and he had to sit down suddenly.
“Wolfric?” Edhel was by his side immediately, as if he hadn’t just held his heart out for the other man to take and gotten what was at best an ambiguous reaction.
“I didn’t realize,” Wolfric said softly. “But of course I want you in the baby’s life. In my life.”
Edhel breathed a sigh of relief and sat down next to Wolfric, reaching out to take his hand. “I know this probably isn’t what you were planning on, but a baby has to be easier with two, doesn’t it?”
“Of course.” Wolfric laughed at the idea of the two of them fumbling their way through fatherhood, neither really knowing what they needed to do. “And I suppose a magic child would benefit from having someone who understands them around.”
“I think so.” Edhel settled his hand on Wolfric’s belly. Though he knew the secret behind it, he was the one person who Wolfric never felt uncomfortable around. He’d never felt as comfortable around another person in his life, before now. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear before that I don’t view this as a hardship at all. I’m very excited about it.”
“Then I think I’d like to stay in here, for the time being,” Wolfric said, relief washing over him. The last thing he wanted to do was make Edhel worry more about him, but he was beginning to think Edhel understood. Wizards tended not to go out into the city proper unless it was truly necessary for much the same reason. They stood out, and standing out was uncomfortable at the best of times.
Edhel squeezed Wolfric’s hand gently. “Anything you need, don’t be afraid to ask. I want to take the best possible care of you. And for the sake of getting fresh air, we can walk the grounds of a night, when no one w
ill disturb us.”
Wolfric nodded, beginning to come to terms with the idea that Edhel didn’t view him as a burden. He’d make it up to him tenfold once the baby arrived, but for now, he could handle being looked after, since Edhel was so clearly willing.
This wasn’t at all what Wolfric had expected, but he wasn’t about to object to the turn of events.
***
Edhel read the letter he’d been handed that morning over half a dozen times before deciding that it did say what he’d thought it said. The message was couched in complicated, vague and ambiguous language, but once he was done teasing all the meaning out of it, Edhel realized it might as well have said we know what you did in large, ominous letters.
He had not intended for the university to find out about Wolfric. He’d known keeping him in his rooms was risky in terms of that particular goal, but he’d imagined that, as usual, anything that was right under the noses of the wizards higher up the academic chain would go completely unnoticed.
Wizards were not renowned, in general, for their observation skills.
Edhel thought it was more likely that Wolfric had been informed on by a fellow guardsman, perhaps jealous that he was getting on with his life and had found happiness that escorting wizards back and forth across the sprawling, but quiet university grounds was unlikely to produce in most people, especially someone ambitious enough to tell on their former colleagues.
Not that what Edhel had done was in any way illegal—he and Wolfric were both consenting adults, and what consenting adults did to their own bodies was, for the most part, no one’s business but their own, under the law. However, university rules were not the law.
The university was claiming Edhel was guilty of performing unauthorized experiments—guilty despite the fact that at best, the evidence they had was someone’s say-so. That was the downside to working in the halls of learning, of course. They made the rules, and they could enforce or ignore them at will, depending on their particular mood at the time.
Edhel considered not telling Wolfric about the letter, not wanting to cause him any unnecessary stress, but if it came out later—and it surely would—then Wolfric would be angry with him for keeping it a secret. He would prefer that Wolfric heard all the details from him than through a third party, who would not be as likely to take his feelings into account.
By the time he left his desk to go back to his rooms, Edhel had already decided that if the university wanted rid of him, and couldn’t be swayed on the matter, he would leave. Wolfric and the baby were more important to him than any position he held there, and while it wasn’t the most respectable of jobs, there was no reason Edhel couldn’t make a comfortable living selling his services to those in need.
Edhel moved silently into the bedroom to find Wolfric napping, by now looking like he was ready to give birth within perhaps a week, if Edhel’s calculations about the sped up growth of the baby were anything to go by. He’d been more uncomfortable lately, and restless, so Edhel was loathe to wake him.
Instead, he climbed into the bed beside him and snuggled close, smiling to himself when Wolfric made a pleased sound in his sleep. Edhel expected that the effect of the spell that made it his first priority to protect Wolfric and the baby at any cost would wear off once he’d given birth, but he couldn’t imagine truly ceasing to be protective of him.
Though he would never have expected to find it in the stocky, sweet guardsman he’d been a casual friend of for years, Edhel knew he’d found something precious in his relationship with Wolfric, and their baby. Wizards often failed to marry at all, and those who took an academic path even more seldom, but Edhel would have liked to marry Wolfric.
In terms of common law, he supposed they already were married. The thought made him smile, and eased the guilt he felt when Wolfric stirred from his nap.
“What time is it?” Wolfric mumbled, blinking at Edhel’s face.
“I haven’t been gone an hour,” Edhel assured him. “I had to come back to tell you something, but I don’t want you to get upset about it.”
Wolfric narrowed his eyes. “For some reason, that makes it sound like something I should get upset about.”
Edhel smiled wryly. “It’s nothing you need to worry about, all right? But I have to tell you, because it’s likely that they’ll try to involve you in it, and I want you to know that you don’t need to be involved.”
“This is not comforting, Edhel.”
“I know.” Edhel could smell the distress on Wolfric. “The university knows—or thinks they know—what we’re doing. Now, it’s not illegal, but they’re trying to say I’ve broken their rules by performing unauthorized experiments. Since this was done on my own time, I don’t think they should really be able to do much about it, but if they decide it offends them in some way, they’ll kick me out.”
Wolfric’s eyes widened, and the smell of fear hit Edhel straight on. This was what he’d wanted to avoid, but Wolfric was smart and would listen to reason. He just had to push past the scary part and explain that it wasn’t all bad.
“Listen to me: if they do decide to throw me out, that’s okay. I can still support you and the baby out there.” Edhel indicated the general direction of the city beyond the university grounds, and tried to hide his own fear at the idea. He’d been here since he’d left home as a student and never had to live outside before in his adult life. The thought was terrifying, but Wolfric had managed to live all of his life in the city, and would be there to help him navigate it if worst came to worst.
“But this is your life. And I’ve ruined it for you.” Wolfric was beginning to panic, which was the last thing either of them needed. Not sure what else to do, Edhel rolled him onto his back gently but firmly and climbed on top of him to sit on his hips, leaning over so that their bodies were pressed together and Wolfric’s was trapped under his.
With Wolfric’s pregnant belly in the way, it was an awkward position, but it had always worked to calm him before, and this time was no exception. Within a few moments, Wolfric began to take deep breaths again, and some of the scent of distress faded. That was the best Edhel could hope for, under the circumstances.
“You haven’t ruined anything. Aside from the fact that you and the baby are my life now, I made this decision knowing that when I was found out, I’d make some people angry. You and I may be tolerated, allowed to be together because of the good work of others in gaining us some acceptance, but that doesn’t mean places like old universities like it. What we’re doing could mean people like us could have families of their own for the first time. A lot of people won’t be happy about that.”
“I don’t want to get you in trouble.” Wolfric swallowed. “I could leave? If that would help?”
“No,” Edhel growled, and Wolfric flinched at the sound. He hadn’t meant to growl at Wolfric, but Wolfric leaving was out of the question. They were staying together no matter what.
“No,” he repeated more gently. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but I’m not giving you up over this. Not even for a little while. I mean to prove that I’ve made the breakthrough of the age, and if that won’t be accepted here, then it will be accepted elsewhere. There are other cities, if you’ll come with me.”
Wolfric looked unsure for a moment, then something in his face changed. “I’d follow you to the end of the Earth, and off the edge if you fell,” he said. Edhel smiled, relieved that they seemed to have come to a point of calm acceptance, at least for now.
“I’m not proposing to go that far.” Edhel leaned down to kiss Wolfric gently. “Perhaps I’ll take you back to my homeland. We could be farmers.”
“I don’t know if I’m cut out for farming,” Wolfric said, but he didn’t seem to hate the idea.
“Well, we’ll see. But whatever happens, I want you to know that I don’t blame you for a second, and that you’re my first concern. You and the baby. Everything else is in service of taking care of you both.”
Wolfric made a soft noise and rea
ched out for Edhel, at first not sure where to put his hands, but eventually settling on curling them into Edhel’s robes. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
Edhel chuckled and leaned in to kiss Wolfric softly, thinking to himself that it was the other way around. Every day he got to spend with Wolfric was one to be thankful for.
Chapter Five
Three months and two days to the day he’d fallen pregnant, Wolfric went into labor. He didn’t recognize it as such at first, thinking the pain was coming from the fact that his belly was now so huge as to be difficult to support, and then wondering if he was ill.
It wasn’t until he told Edhel about it, after Edhel expressed concern over his obvious discomfort, that they both realized what was going on.
Edhel had dithered between running for a wizard skilled with this kind of thing and not wanting to leave Wolfric, but had eventually been forced to admit that he was in over his head, and would need assistance.
Wolfric was left to lie in agony for what felt like hours—though was likely no more than a few minutes—while Edhel left to seek help.
He’d known he must be coming up on the time when he’d deliver the baby, but Wolfric hadn’t thought about what that would mean. He’d imagined Edhel would know what to do when the time came, but Edhel obviously hadn’t thought too much about it, either.
Fear gripped Wolfric every second Edhel was away; fear that the birth would go wrong, fear that the baby wouldn’t be okay, fear that he’d be a terrible father and his child would come to resent him, as well as the general, all-over fear that being in serious pain brought with it.
When Edhel finally came back with a much older wizard in tow—this one with the long, white beard that had been in fashion for older wizards for as long as Wolfric could remember, and the kind eyes of a man who’d dedicated his life to easing the suffering of others.
“Well,” the new wizard said. “This is a first for me.”
“I have notes.” Edhel grabbed the research he’d been doing, dropping half of the papers in his hurry. Wolfric tried to keep his uncomfortable shifting and occasional gasps of pain to a minimum, but he could see Edhel wincing with every contraction anyway. As time had gone on, they’d become more and more closely connected, so that Edhel could feel the slightest twinge Wolfric did, and Wolfric could do the same for Edhel.