by Bellus, HJ
“Clover.” Merek nods to her as he gets his horse out and goes about saddling it.
“Um.” She pulls back on my hand, stopping me. “What exactly are we doing here?”
“Going for a ride.” I wink down at her as I see her nurse game face come on. “Settle down, Nurse Nancy.”
“Don’t call me that, ass.”
“Well, then quit trying to be a nurse right now.”
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
I answer her with full honesty. “My body isn’t, but my heart and soul needs this right now, and I want you here with me.”
I let go of her hand and grab a brush. Working my horse is therapeutic, and I easily fall into an old rhythm as I comb out his tail and watch Maverik saddle him. I do know my limits and know there’s no way in hell the scar healing on my chest would allow me to throw up the saddle and cinch it down.
“Isn’t he going to kick you in the nuts?” I look over to Clover, who’s gone pale white. Her hands tremble as she bounces back from foot to foot.
“No, my family jewels are completely safe.”
“Have you never been around horses?” Maverik asks her, looking over the back of Arsine.
Clover points to the logo on sweatshirt. “City girl through and through.”
I go grab a biscuit for Arsine and hand it to her. “Here.”
“What in the hell do I do with this?” Her eyes grow in size.
“Feed it to him.” I chuckle at her innocence.
“No, he’ll eat my hand off,” she yells with fear lacing each of the syllables that roll off her tongue.
I don’t have the chance to respond to her since Merek and Maverik’s roars of laughter fill the barn and spook Arsine, causing him to pull back on the lead rope and shake his head. Clover scrambles back, leaping up on a bale of straw and screaming for what seems her life, causing all the horses to spook more. It’s a circus freak show right in front of my own eyes and I can’t help but laugh even though she’s scared to death.
In two steps, I’m standing in front of her and wrapping my arms around her ass, lifting her down to ground level. I try to reassure her and quiet her down. After several seconds I finally get Clover’s attention.
“Horses will eat your hand off. I’ve seen videos of people feeding them carrots.”
I try not to smile, but my brothers’ roars of laughter in the background don’t help the situation at all. “Clover, that’s just a myth. I mean, horses can bite.”
“See. You just said it.”
“C’mon, give it a chance.”
“My mom showed me the video when I was little, talking me out of going to a county fair.”
“Trust me.” I hold my hand out. “See, I have all fingers and both hands and have been around Arsine for years.”
She’s hesitant but finally takes my hand, and I feel her nerves as she quivers nearly out of control.
“See, all you have to do is talk to him as you get closer. He’ll learn your voice soon. You never want to scream or spook a horse.”
I want to point out like she just did.
“Marvel, I’m not holding the treat.”
“Horses only bite people’s hands off when they’re holding a carrot, so you’re good there, Annie Oakley.”
I glare over my shoulder to my smartass brother Merek, but Maverik takes care of him for me, knocking him in the back of the head, causing his straw hat to tumble to the ground.
I do my best to keep talking to Clover and holding her close as we get closer to the horse. “See, if you just move slowly and with confidence he’ll respect you. His name is Arsine and I’ve had him for over six years. He’s a good horse.”
“Marvel,” Clover whispers into my ear. I slowly reach out my free hand with the treat in it, letting Arsine take a second to sniff it. I feel her nails dig into the top of my shoulder as the soft pad of Arsine’s nose rubs around in my palm until he finds his treat. In slow motion he opens his mouth and gobbles up the treat.
“See, babe, he’s a good boy.”
I take her hand off the top of my shoulder and stretch it out until her palm is merely inches away from Arsine’s front shoulder. The closer she gets to him the more she shakes.
“No disrespect to your mother, but no one should instill fear in their children.”
“She’s a bitch.” Clover lets go of my hand and slaps it over her mouth. Arsine flinches at the swift reaction.
“See, he’s just startled like one of us would be. He’s not here to hurt you, and I won’t tell anyone you just called your mom a bitch.”
“Well, she is.” Clover squeezes closer to my side as I inch us closer to the horse. “I just don’t ever want to become evil and mean spirited like her.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
I lay her hand on his shoulder and feel her smile spread across her face as she buries her face in my neck.
“Look up, babe.”
She slowly moves and then begins petting him.
“I’m going to let go.”
“No, Marvel, no. Don’t ever let go.”
I turn to her and only nod, understanding each of her words. We’ve both leapt and now no turning back.
“I’ll never ever let go, Clover, just keep hanging on to me.”
I cover her lips with mine, letting my tongue sweep the length of her lips until she opens up to me. Her mouth works just as furious as mine as we devour each other. Several moments float by as we embrace until Arsine stomps his foot, causing Clover to jump up and bite down on my lip.
“Sorry, shit, so sorry.” Her fingers run along the length of my lower lip where her teeth just sank in, and I can only grin back at her.
“I think I need to buy a helmet with you around.”
“Probably.” She laughs lightly while still petting Arsine. I move behind her, holding her by the waist but allowing her room as she becomes comfortable.
“He’s gorgeous.”
“Won’t lie, I feel like the king of the world with you two standing in front of me.”
“You’re silly, Marvel.”
“I’m not lying, Clover. I’m going to make you believe you’re gorgeous and worth loving.”
She goes to make a comment but Maverik interrupts us before she has the chance to finish.
“Okay, kids, time to ride.” Maverik unties Arsine and hands me the reins.
“You ready?” I ask Clover, leaving a kiss behind on the skin of her neck as I walk out of the barn into the sunlight.
“Oh, I’m not riding that thing. I maxed out on my daily fun meter with large ass flesh-eating animals.”
I don’t know her mother, but I instantly feel hatred for the woman who could scare the shit out of Clover and beat her down to a place of no confidence.
“C’mon, sexy.” I nod with my hat, trying to coax her out.
I watch Merek walk up behind her, leading his own horse and draping his free arm over her shoulder. “We’ll take care of you, lil’ sis.”
She stalls a bit, causing him and his horse to stop dead in their tracks.
“You ride the buckers. I’m not trusting you.”
“Well, get to walking or my horse will take a chunk out of that ass cheek of yours.”
In slow motion, Clover peers over her shoulder and comes face to face with Merek’s brown and white paint horse sniffing her ass cheek. The laughter that flows from him is uncontrollable as Clover kicks up gravel and clouds of dust sprinting from the barn toward me. I try to wave her down to slow her pace, but nothing calms her until she jumps up into my arms.
A sharp slap lands across the back of my head. “You boys behaving?”
I look over to Granddad who is saddled up to his walker with his nurse at his side.
“You better not be harassing her or I’ll beat your asses.”
“I’d like to see that, Old Man.” Merek steps up to him and throws out a couple play punches with his reins in one hand. He jumps back and forth, hopping around l
ike an everyday damn boxer. In one quick swoop Granddad lifts his walker and whacks Merek right in the lower shin. And from the sound it makes and the howls from Merek, I’d guess he made direct contact with him.
I start to laugh, until I feel an elbow in my rib and come in contact with the stern look from my granddad. I shut my mouth real fast.
“You okay, darling?”
“I’m fine,” Clover answers him.
I set her down on her feet, sliding her down my chest and fighting back the urge to wince in pain. She must catch the pain on my face as she mouths the word sorry to me and then goes to raise my shirt.
“No.”
Clover moves her hand quickly back down to her sides.
“Should you be out here?” Maverik asks Granddad.
“Just getting some vitamin D and seeing what you dickweeds are up to.”
“We are going back to the corner pasture to check the fence and count calves. Marvel’s going to ride along,” Merek explains to Granddad as he remains bent over rubbing the front of his leg.
“You think you can handle that?” He looks over to me.
“I need it, please, my heart is hungry to ride again.”
I can tell he has reservations about the whole idea but only nods to me.
“And you’re riding with him, Clover?” He looks to her.
She looks up at me instead of answering him.
“I guess,” she barely gets out.
I feel horrible how scared she is and had no intentions of scaring the ever-loving piss out of her. I just thought this would be a memorable experience together—my first time on the back of a horse with Clover and creating something symbolic with my new view on life and saving this place. She’s made me strong enough to get Silver Star back.
“You’ll be fine. They are the finest cowboys in the state. They’re also shitheads, but they are good riders.” Granddad adjusts his walker around in the gravel and hollers over his shoulder. “Have fun, assholes and Clover.”
That gets a chuckle from Clover, who’s still tucked under my arm.
“See? If Granddad approves, then you’re fine.” I kiss the top of her head.
“I’m shitting scared but will ride with you and only you.” She looks up to me and I kiss her gently on the lips again.
“Jesus, get a room, you two,” Merek shouts while he mounts his horse with one easy leap from the ground.
“Ignore him,” I whisper into her lips.
“Trust me, I know he’s the jokester of the family.” She kisses me quickly. “I think you forget that I was with your family from the night your granddad had a heart attack.”
“Lucky you.”
“Yep, lucky me, it’s when I started falling for you.”
Thundering hoof prints invade our conversation as Challis and lil’ Mav come storming in on their horses. I guarantee they’re racing, and by the looks of it lil’ Mav’s horse has Challis’ by a nose. They both reach down at the same time, pulling back on their reins to bring their horses to a stop right in front of us. A cloud of dust engulfs all of us.
“I am not getting on that horse now.”
I laugh through the dirt storm and try to wave in some clean air. “We won’t be riding like wild hellions. Challis has a need for speed.”
“God dammit, Challis, you little shit.” Merek coughs and sputters out each word as he inhales dirt.
“What? A little dirt going to hurt my tough world champ?”
I can’t see either of them through the dust storm but know a fight is pending between them.
“That’s you, shit.”
I hear two horses take off and the squeal of Challis’ laughter.
“We won’t follow those two,” Maverik says from atop his horse. “I’ve caught those two one too many times.”
“Doing what, Dad?”
All eyes go to Mav, who’s still settled in his saddle.
“Nothing, Mav, we need another hand now. Want to follow us out to the pasture?”
“Roping involved?”
“If we find any sick calves.”
“I’m in.”
Clover weasels from my grasp and begins to tiptoe in the opposite direction.
“Where do you think you’re going, missy?”
“Just going to hold down that bale over there.” She points and tries to get away, but I’m able to grab her wrist before she does.
“I don’t think so.” I lean down to her ear so she’s the only one who can hear me. “I need this ride with you.”
“I’m scared.”
“Don’t be.”
I know that I’ll stand here and talk in circles with her. It’s clear her fear is overriding anything else in this moment. So, I throw one boot up in the stirrup and feel the raw pain rip through my body. Before the realization of just how much pain I’m in sinks in, I leap with my other foot, throwing it over the saddle and hooking my boot in the stirrup. A ripping pain throbs in my chest. I begin breathing slowly, and then try to rub the pain away with the palm of my hand.
“Marvel, give me your hand.”
I look down to Clover staring up at me with her hand extended. I scoot my boot out of the stirrup and extend my hand down to her. Clover hoists herself up using mainly the horn of the saddle with her other hand and the stirrup.
She settles in behind me and then laces her arms around my waist, squeezing to high hell.
“You good, babe?”
“Meh, my butthole is puckered up.”
“Good hell, Clover,” I say through laughter. “I’m just going to start out in a slow walk.”
“We are only going to walk, or I’ll punch your nuts from back here.”
“Release your grip a bit there, Rambo, I’m about to pass out from your death hold.”
“Sorry.” I feel her hold release a bit and her palms splay out across my stomach. “Will we go any faster?”
“Just enjoy the ride.”
“I’m trying.” I feel her lay her head down on my shoulder, and if I was a betting man, I’d bet her eyes are squeezed shut.
I take in the silence of the land, absorbing all the positive energy floating about. It’s air that my lungs have longed for, and the sense of belonging where my roots are laid. The memories from that dreaded night flash through my mind, causing direct pain to every part of my being.
I do my best to fight them and try to focus in on something else. Saint’s laughing face is the next to flash through my mind. I struggle to escape from the downhill slope.
“Doing okay?”
I look over to Maverik and only offer him a nod. He knows me too well to take that nod to heart. He stays close to me as we both walk our horses out to the pasture. Normally, he’d be off in the lead surveying the scene. Our family has changed since Saint and his evil. It’s tainted us and the ranch, and my mind goes straight back to the darkness until I feel her squeeze my middle.
“This is kind of fun, cowboy.”
I look over my shoulder as far as I can and barely make out her profile. She’s nothing but teeth and a big ass grin.
“You like it?” I pat her leg as I ask the question.
“Whoa.” Her hand grabs mine, tossing it back into my lap. “Two hands on the wheel at all times.”
“Oh, Clover.” I try to muffle my laugh. “Have you ever been to a rodeo or anything?”
“No, just saw the stuff on TV that’s animated.”
I only nod and don’t correct her but slowly put my hand back on her thigh, and this time she doesn’t move it but lays her head on my shoulder. The further we ride the more I feel settled and at home. It’s been a feeling that’s been missing since my father left and everything else spiraled out of control.
I feel her hand on top of mine and steady myself for her to toss right back up to the steering wheel as she called it, but instead I feel her slowly guide my arm back up to the top of her head. She stops there, and I cradle her even further into me. It tugs on my chest, but I don’t say a word to her, because I
think I just discovered the new meaning of home.
17
Clover
Nursing has never been mundane until now. The moment the real Marvel Slatter entered my world, he ruined everything else. It’s the best type of ruining I’ve ever experienced. It’s like he’s brought me out of my shell piece by piece and loves the awkwardness in me.
Seventy-two hour shifts suck ass, but the days off after them are like heaven in a bottle.
I rub my thighs together just imagining the tone of his voice whispering in my ear and then his touch burning my skin. I try to tell myself I’m not a love-smitten fool, but I know it’s all a lie. A big fat lie. Marvel Slatter has won my heart over again and again.
“More pink roses?”
I look up to see Sterling leaning on the counter of the nurses’ station. It still feels odd to see him and even hold a conversation with him, but I’ve been forced to since he’s practically the fourth Slatter brother. The night Marvel broke it to him after lil’ Mav’s party was severely nerve-racking, but he seemed to take it really well, which if I stop to think about it too long is kind of a shot to my self-esteem.
I shrug in response to his question and then tip my chin back down to my paperwork. I don’t ask why he’s here tonight, because it seems Sterling shows up in the oddest of places, and I’m done trying to guess with him. I’m just over the moon elated nothing is weird between us and he’s genuinely happy for Marvel and me.
“Ahhh puppy love, the honeymoon phase…enjoy it, because it’s the sweetest of all of them.”
I finally look up to him, wondering what in the hell he meant with that last phrase.
“Is something wrong, Sterling?”
“Naw.” He just shakes his head from side to side. “Just checking in on you.”
“Visiting someone here?”
“No, just you.”
My stomach sinks as his deep brown eyes stare back at me. It’s as if I can see the concern and something else he’s wanting to tell me. I raise an eyebrow, trying to open the gate for him to talk.