by A. C. Wilson
That thought might have been ungracious, but right now, it irritated the hell out of him!
“I guess I’d better go over and introduce myself.” His words were completely fine, but the tone that came with them caused Rayne and Andy to jump up in response.
“She’s buzzed, Randy.” Rayne stepped around the table in front of him and took Andy’s hand.
“Yeah she is, but we’ll go get her.” Andy stumbled over the words in defense of her friend and sister-in-law. Randy wondered if seeing Nora with another man was as shocking to them as it was to him. From Andy’s response earlier, he thought it might be likely. Randy watched the women move in the direction of Nora and the singer from the band. Matt turned to watch their progress also.
“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Matt tucked his fingers into his front pockets and straightened to his full height. Randy could still feel Matt and Garrett’s inquisitive stares on his back. Randy couldn’t seem to turn away though. It was like watching a train wreck and wondering how the heck anyone was going to survive. He swallowed the bile that bubbled up into his throat.
“Are you?” The words escaped Randy’s lips and Matt turned his head to look at him. Matt gave a short affirmative nod. Randy hardened his jaw. “You’re the only one.”
***
Nora felt exhilaration sweep through her as the dance ended and they clapped for the band. It had been quite some time since she’d been spun around the dance floor and it felt great!
One more thing Randy doesn’t do. She’d grimaced and pushed the catty thought aside. Her husband was a good man in so many ways. There was just a huge possibility that he was never meant for her. The further they got in this relationship, the more obvious it became that they weren’t a good match.
The man heading in her direction could be though. His dark hair confined under his black Resistol hat and the six-foot, medium build fashionably defined in Wrangler jeans, button-up western shirt and boots. Colt Cavanaugh was the older version of the boy she remembered. Lifting her gaze to meet his, Nora knew for certain that those piercing silvery gray eyes were the same ones that haunted her dreams. It was much like looking over a moonlit lake seeing the soft light reflected over the surface. Nora honestly thought they were the most beautiful and captivating eyes she’d ever encountered.
Colt stopped in front of her and touched his fingers to his hat brim before smiling an achingly familiar smile. Her heart felt like it was going to explode from her chest and all the blood had rushed to her head.
Perhaps it had rushed away from her head. She couldn’t be sure, but it had definitely affected her vocal chords. Her normal, even-toned voice was more of a raspy whisper.
“Colt.” A name she had long wanted to say, but feared the repercussions that might have followed it. It wasn’t like he was an unknown person to the people of Hot Springs.
“Nora.” Her name from his lips sounded like a reverent prayer. She was transfixed like a furry creature in the gaze of a cobra and it was not unlike that deadly situation. This man before her could decimate everything she’d ever built since the summer she’d spent with him.
It’s not like it isn’t falling apart anyway! Blow it up! The she-devil on her shoulder was a ruthless survivor with very little regard as to who expired from the blast.
“I can’t believe you are here.” Nora couldn’t help the starry-eyed, fan girl routine. It sounded stupid and she’d kick herself later for it, but it was all that would come out of her mouth. Colt chuckled in that husky voice she could feel.
“Here I am.” He lifted his arms out from his body and smiled brilliantly at her.
God, he is gorgeous! Certainly cowboys had always been a staple in her life, but Colt was something far and away more appealing. Nora couldn’t quite pin it down as to one exact thing though.
“Nora?” She heard her name from behind her and only then was she aware of the younger girls crowding in on their conversation. Colt merely smiled and acted like the entourage wasn’t there. A couple of bar security men kept the pushing and touching in check, but every word of their conversation was heard.
“Nora?” The voice was closer now and looking around her, she saw Rayne and Andy pushing their way through the crowd. She couldn’t pretend that she hadn’t seen them. Nora swung her eyes back to Colt’s face. He wore a welcoming grin, but his eyes were not as warm as they were moments ago.
“Who are these beautiful ladies, Nora?” Colt asked, turning on the cavalier charm he was known for. His smile was brilliant and both Andy and Rayne responded to the playboy singer. Nora couldn’t deny she was irritated by their presence.
“This is my sister-in-law Andy and my soon-to-be sister-in-law Rayne.” Nora made sure the titles were out there in the open. Andy didn’t blink at the introduction, but Rayne sent a half-smirk in her direction. Nora couldn’t quite tame the jealousy that coursed unbidden through her veins. It wasn’t like she had any claim on Colt Cavanaugh.
Don’t you? That evil she-devil on her shoulder hissed.
“Pleasure to meet you, ladies. You certainly eclipse the younger versions of your gender tonight.” Colt took each of Rayne and Andy’s hands to press a feather-light kiss to their knuckles. Nora had to look away for a moment. These ladies had always had her back, but right now, their attention was causing some extreme tension inside her.
“Your band is wonderful, Mr. Cavanaugh.” Andy smiled at Colt. He grinned at her compliment.
“Colt, please, and thank you for coming tonight. It’s nice not having to play for a half empty bar.” Colt chuckled and switched his silver gaze to Rayne. Nora held her breath as he took in the dark haired beauty. Rayne smiled and tilted her head slightly. Nora was interrupted by Andy’s hand on her arm and the whispered voice in her ear.
“We need to leave. Randy has some suspicions about you and Colt.” Andy’s soft words made Nora blink in disbelief.
“What? Why?” Nora kept her voice down as the other girls vying for Colt’s attention were still too close.
“Something about the way you two look at each other. I saw it too, Nora. I’d never judge, but right now, your husband is about to spit nails.” Andy’s whisper became more urgent as she cast glances behind them towards the table where the guys were sitting.
“Really?” Nora couldn’t quite believe what Andy was telling her. Randy had never caused a scene anywhere and he certainly was never angry, jealous, or any other combination of the two. It was a bit much to believe that he’d change now.
“So you’re engaged to Nora’s brother?” Colt’s voice brought everything else to screeching halt as Nora’s green-eyed monster took over again. Rayne’s chuckle made Nora’s insecurities rise to the surface.
“Garrett is my boyfriend and no, we’re not engaged yet.” Rayne’s words made Nora see red. She opened her mouth to speak when Garrett pulled Rayne into his chest. Her brother’s hands spanned Rayne’s waist and even though he was smiling, a clearly possessive claim was made.
“Hey gorgeous!” Garrett said loud enough for everyone to hear, but it was directed into Rayne’s neck. Colt’s smile widened and he held out his hand to shake Garrett’s. Nora’s brother only hesitated a second where an understanding passed between them and Garrett shook Colt’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Colt turned his head to see Matt put his arm around Andy’s shoulders. “You must be Nora’s other brother.” He and Matt shook hands as well. Nora felt a moment of relief and annoyance now that her brothers had joined the party.
“You really put on a great show, Colt.” Matt smiled amiably and continued on as the peacemaker he’d always been. “Are you planning on sticking around Hot Springs for a few days?” Colt’s face gave nothing away. Nora couldn’t remember if she’d taken a breath or not. She was too busy wondering what Colt was going to say.
“We’re only staying a day at the most. My manager doesn’t believe in rest and he’s booked us in Deadwood for a couple of shows.” Colt scanned them all as he spoke and su
ddenly a wall had formed where there hadn’t been one before. Nora felt it. It was like he was stepping back behind the performer screen. She wondered at its presence now.
“Oh, Deadwood! That should be fun!” Rayne said enthusiastically while Garrett maintained his hold on her waist. Nora rolled her eyes at her brother’s insecurity. Rayne wasn’t going anywhere and they all knew it.
“I hope so. It’s been years since I was up there.” Colt’s grin was infectious. The atmosphere was conducive to a good time. There was alcohol, music, pretty girls and guys looking for a good time.
Why shouldn’t it be fun? Nora felt rather than heard his presence. Closing her eyes and clamping her mouth down on the groan, she felt the tiny hairs stand up on her neck. As difficult as it was to admit, she was always aware of Randy. They were husband and wife after all! It wasn’t like she wasn’t attracted to him, because she was. It was all a matter of wanting something more than what they had.
“I think we need to talk.” Randy’s voice was so low she nearly missed what he said. A cold shiver went up her spine, but he never touched her. He was just as close as he could possibly get. Nora’s blue eyes snapped at Randy’s as she turned slightly toward him.
“I’m pretty sure whatever you have to say can wait.” Nora’s flippant reply tasted sour in her mouth. Nothing about this standoff was right, but she stood her ground anyway. She wasn’t going to be bullied or scolded for talking to someone.
Moments ago you were thinking about more than talking to Colt! Her heart sped up and she watched Randy raise a brow in response.
“You don’t want a scene and I don’t want to make one.” His tone was more exasperated than threatening. If he’d been all fired angry, Nora was sure she’d have turned her back on him. Her hands clenched into fists and her nails bit into her palms. Andy made her presence known by brushing Nora’s arm in support. It actually irritated Nora more than reassured her.
Andy started the suspicion in Randy and now, I’m going to have to explain things to him. It was the things she’d kept hidden and silent for seven years. It might as well have been a lifetime ago.
“Is everything okay, Nora?” Colt asked as he stepped closer to her. It was the protective mode that wiped all thought from her brain. With both of her brothers present, she wouldn’t have thought Colt would feel the need to champion her.
“Fine.” Nora’s breath came out on a sigh as she offered a tight smile. The trouble it took to discern both men near her body was only doubled when Randy stepped into the back of her. She could feel his chest lightly brushing her back. The most distracting part was his jean-clad thighs brushing her bottom.
“We need to be leaving.” Randy stated firmly as his breath brushed over her ear. “We’re going to pick up Drew.”
Drew. Nora’s stomach dropped to her feet and her heart plummeted to the region previous occupied by her stomach. Randy had really just mentioned her son. He’s said the boy’s name right there in a crowded bar in front of Colt Cavanaugh. Her eyes closed in preparation for questions.
“I’m Colt and you are?” Colt’s voice had hardened a bit as he extended his hand. The other four people standing beside them said nothing, but each one watched and waited with unhealthy interest.
“Randy. I’m Nora’s husband.” The reply was terse and Randy didn’t shake Colt’s hand.
That’s not like Randy at all! Nora’s brain was buzzing and she couldn’t grasp one sturdy thought. She watched Colt’s face as the words settled and his silver eyes turned darker. Whatever flame ignited in those shiny depths had been doused without fanfare.
“It’s nice to meet you. I should probably get back onstage.” Colt turned to leave and Nora wanted to explain.
Explain what? That he has a son? That he was the love of your life? The thoughts almost brought tears and to combat tears, Nora clutched onto anger.
“It was nice to see you again, Nora.” Colt met her eyes and she saw the sincerity there. She swallowed hard. Colt pulled out his wallet from his back pocket of his jeans and lifted out a small black card. “My business card with my contact numbers. Just in case you’d like to come see the show in Deadwood.” He looked over the group of them there as he’d said that last. Nora took the card from his hand and gave him a half nod. Colt turned and pushed through the group of girls still standing next to the stage. The other band members were already up there waiting for their lead.
Nora swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Garrett and Rayne turned away from the energy building. Andy went to speak, but Matt shook his head. They too left them alone. Nora turned to look at Randy and raised her gaze to see the storm clouds brewing in his ever expressive eyes. His lips were pressed into a hard line, his jaw tight, but his hands remained open at his side. All Nora could do was shake her head in disbelief and anger.
It’s time to get this all out into the open. She brushed by him as she went towards the door. She couldn’t look back to the stage where the music had started again, but she knew Colt watched her. It was the same way she knew Randy was right behind her. Using both palms flat against the bar door, Nora shoved it open and walked out into the chilly spring night.
Chapter 7
Nora had no idea how they managed to make it almost home before either of them spoke. She should be glad they didn’t have it out right there in the parking lot of The Well. The whole town would have known far more than they should at any rate. There were enough gossips to create a whole bunch of mud to coat this crumbling relationship for months, if not years. That thought alone made her feel sorry for the mistake that this marriage was and for taking Randy down with it.
Randy pressed his palms into the steering wheel and leaned his head back against the head rest. Her gut knotted and she felt sick. Never had she seen a man look so defeated and the blame could be firmly laid on her doorstep.
Ignorance is bliss. It wasn’t all that encouraging, but hadn’t he been happy not knowing what was going on in her head? He’d pursued her for five years before they’d married. Randy seemed so damn sure of them and she wanted to be. Nora let out a sigh and felt her world deflate even more.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Nora noted that her voice wavered in the silence of the truck cab. She held her hands in her lap. Her eyes looked for anything outside of the truck to focus on.
“Do what? You can’t do this marriage anymore? You can’t respect me anymore? You can’t pretend anymore?” Randy’s voice rose an octave with each question from a quiet whisper to a dull roar. “What exactly can’t you do, Nora?” The storm in his blue grey eyes raged and Nora swore she could see the faint shimmer of tears. He should have just punched her in the chest, because knowing that she was hurting him this much was the same.
“Anything I say is going to sound so stupid to you, but I can’t help how I feel, Randy.” Nora lifted her hands to quickly wipe the traitorous tears away with her palms. She should be angry. She’d always hidden in the anger instead of the pain.
Why can’t I do that now? She knew why. She knew all she felt now was broken.
“Damn it, Nora! For once, would you stop dancing around the subject and just tell me what is going on? I deserve to know, don’t you think?” Randy’s voice had gotten so low, but the words felt like bombs going off in the cab of the truck. Nora hated how vulnerable and helpless she felt. She was so good at hiding the truth of her feelings.
Until now. Her ever present conscience needled her. She gritted her teeth so tightly her jaw began to ache. The tears obeyed gravity and slid down her cheeks anyway. Her palms felt sweaty and her heart wouldn’t stop thundering in her chest.
“I’m not in love with you, Randy.” Her broken gasps punctuated each syllable and it must have felt like a machine gun firing a bullet each time into his heart. Nora couldn’t be sure as she was fighting back a torrent of tears, but Randy looked pale. His chin wobbled and his head lowered until his chin nearly touched his chest.
You’ve done it now. The last nail in the coff
in. Nora squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could, because she couldn’t bear to see the grief, even in the darkness of the cab, on his face. Trying to muffle her sharp intake of breath, Nora covered her mouth. If at any one time in her life that she wanted to disappear, now would be that time. The world as she knew it was gone. There was no returning back to it to see if life existed after death.
“I…uh…think I’m going to need a bit.” Randy wouldn’t look at her, but opened up his truck door and stepped outside. Nora took a bracing gulp of the chilly evening air. She almost welcomed the heavy slam of the truck door as the silence once more cocooned her. Randy only stood at the front of the truck with his arm braced on the hood and his back to her.
Nora tried to calm herself by taking deep breaths and closing her eyes. There was no pretending the destruction didn’t just happen. She knew there was more to come. She owed Randy the truth and if it maimed her for life, she’d share it with him. She felt along the door until she gripped the latch. Taking a deep breath, she pushed it open and got down out of the cab. It all took on a surreal blur as Nora walked towards the house and opened the front door. There was no knowing if Randy would follow, but she left the door open anyway.
***
Randy wondered if anything would ever hurt like that again. There wasn’t a label for the kind of pain that reached inside a person’s heart and ripped it out while it was still beating. His hands were shaking and his palms were sweaty.
Coward. Failure. Idiot. Of course there were more labels to be shouted at himself when he managed to crawl out from underneath the rubble.
When? Yes, when, because he was going to crawl out! This would scar him for life it he let it. The part where Nora, his beautiful Nora, had said she wasn’t in love with him. He leaned against the hood of his truck in the pitch blackness of the night and shook his head. He wondered if it would have hurt just as much if he hadn’t seen it coming. The affirmation was cruel and he’d spent the good part of a year trying to convince himself that it wasn’t true. He’d managed to make every excuse for Nora’s distance and disinterest in their marriage and in him as a man.