We exit the building to come face-to-face with clusters of children and teenagers with concerned
looks on their faces. I spot Joshua, Ella and a few other Exodus faces standing behind the children.
I try to smile to reassure them somewhat but I can’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I raise my hand
to salute them and then quickly walk away toward the Administration Offices.
Finn follows me. We enter the building in silence.
“Your hair has grown back,” I say to Finn and immediately realize how insane my remark must
have sounded. It’s only been two weeks since I last saw him.
“How are you holding up?” he says.
“Don’t worry, Finn,” I say. “I’ve come to terms with what I must do.”
“You’re not going to hurt yourself,” he says. “Your death is not the answer, Freya.”
I look down, away from his piercing eyes. Finn taught me how to live and how to love. He
didn’t teach me how to die. But I feel dead inside anyway.
I notice that the knuckles on his right hand are bruised and swollen.
“Who did you punch?”
It takes him a moment to understand. “Not a who, a what,” he says.
“Let me guess, the wall?”
“Good guess.”
“There’s a lot of that going around,” I say lifting his fist gently.
“It’s been so hard, Freya,” he says. “I can’t forgive myself. I should have stayed and looked for
you.”
“We crashed,” I say. “We lived in a cave and then they had us.”
“At least you’re here now.”
“How did you and Nya manage to escape?” I say. “It didn’t look so good when Damian and I
took off.”
“Joshua,” Finn says. “Ella convinced him to shadow and follow us in case something went
wrong. Nya and I were the last ones fighting. He buzzed past us twice. The second time he dropped a
ladder and we grabbed onto it and soared up and away from those who needed us.”
“No one needed you to die, Finn,” I assure him. “That’s just survivor’s guilt talking. You being
here means the world of free humans, the world of Exodus is a better and a safer place.”
“We took Plantation-15 before,” he says. “We can do it again.”
“I have to go back, Finn. Without me, or more accurately, without the receptor you’ll just get
yourself and many others killed in a matter of minutes.”
“We can talk about it.”
“No, we can’t. They have everything they need now. My blood, my DNA, my experiment
sequence. They will never leave this planet. It will become their own.”
He pulls me closer again. “Right now I’m just happy you’re alive,” he says.
Ella finds us like that. She composes herself fast and walks up to me.
“Freya,” she says, “it’s true. You’ve made it back.” She puts her arms around me awkwardly
and hugs me.
“It’s good to see you, Ella,” I say.
She bats her eyelashes in confusion. “I am happy you are alive,” she says.
“Can you get a message to the commander?” I say.
“Of course,” she says.
I take her hand. “The aliens have a message for Exodus.”
“What message?” she says.
“Exodus must move, it can never be stationed near the plantation district again and all
monitoring must stop. The Empress will blow the station out of the sky if you do not comply.”
Ella turns pale. “I don’t understand. If she does that, Exodus will destroy the plantations.”
“They have my DNA. They will not need these plantations for long, but Exodus will also be
destroyed and none of you will survive.”
I have terrified her. She has not seen the world as Finn and I have. This type of living nightmares
take some time to process.
“I’ll let the council know,” she says.
Finn puts his arm around her. “I can go back with you.”
“Thanks,” she says still shaken. I let go of her hand as she turns to collect herself and
communicate with Exodus.
Finn and I watch her walk away.
He hugs me again and kisses my forehead. “I never thought I would see you again,” he says.
“Zolkon is at Plantation-15,” I say changing the subject. “He tried to convince me he wasn’t
involved in this.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I honestly don’t know, Finn. It could all be an elaborate scam. There’s nothing I would put past
him.”
“You’d better find Pip,” he says. “I don’t know if anybody thought of telling her of your return.
She usually takes Tobi out to the fields.”
I will see the sun on my sweet boy’s hair. I never thought I would. I throw my arms around Finn
and kiss his neck just below his ear.
“Thank you for everything,” I say.
*
PIP MEETS ME on my way to the fields. She’s been running and her cheeks are all blushed. She
falls into my arms with a deep sigh.
“You’re safe,” she says. “Don’t ever leave me again, Freya.”
“I missed you, too, Pip,” I say as I run my hand through her hair.
When I see Tilly coming to us holding Tobi in her arms all my defenses collapse. This is the
moment in which I have no defenses.
I lose control. I take Tobi from Tilly and squeeze him against my body. I try to hold back my
tears cause I don’t want to scare him. It’s good that he doesn’t understand me when I whisper in his
ear that his father is far away again. So far away and never to return.
I reach out for Tilly’s hand. “They have Biscuit, he hasn’t been hurt.”
Tilly gasps and covers her mouth. Then the tears begin to flow.
16
I first hear the drum and then Finn’s voice calling my name again and again. “Come and see what
I’ve found,” he says. “A white truffle. Have you ever seen one before?”
Something’s not right. Finn wouldn’t be out looking for mushrooms when there’s a meeting
scheduled. How could he have forgotten about it? I have to tell him about the meeting. I have to
remind him.
I follow his voice and find him in the woods bent over the delicacy he has discovered. He turns
to smile at me and I smile back until I realize he’s seven years old again.
My eyes shut heavily and suddenly light causes pain as I open them squinting. I fell asleep and
nobody woke me up. I only meant to rest my eyes for five minutes but gave in to exhaustion.
I check my surroundings to make sure I’m still in Spring Town and then jump out of bed. “I don’t
care how cute you looked when you were seven,” I say out loud. “You’re still going to hear it for
letting me sleep.”
The knock on the door startles me more than the dream. If it’s Finn, he couldn’t have picked a
worse time to show up. I’ll give him an earful.
But it’s not Finn. It’s Kroll. I instinctively reach for my receptor when I see him only to
remember I don’t have it anymore. The realization produces physical pain across my hand, arm and
shoulder.
“I was waiting for you to wake,” he says. “Finn said you wished to talk to me.”
I nod. “How long have you waited?” I say.
“Two hours.”
Two hours I slept. It could be worse. I sit back on the bed and ask Kroll to join me.
“What you’ve been through,” he says, “it was my fault.”
I stare at him trying to figure out what he mea
ns.
“I chose Torik,” he goes on. “I should have sensed he was compromised.”
I shrug. “Maybe he wasn’t when you chose him.”
He nods. “I will accept whatever punishment you have in mind.”
“Punishment? Kroll, we don’t have time for such luxuries. You know my sensory receptor was
taken from me. I have no special skills or powers to stop the aliens and the Empress. That’s all over now. All I can do is try and protect the lives of everyone that once depended on me. And for that to
happen you have to go back to Plantation-15.”
Rage takes over his face at the news. “I do not wish to return,” he says. “My place is by your
side.”
“It’s out of our hands now,” I say avoiding his eyes.
“If you send me back, I cannot guarantee I won’t turn against you,” he says. “It will be out of my hands. Do you understand that?”
“I understand,” I say. “But I am going back with you. If you don’t go back, I will be sentencing
my friends to death.”
Kroll springs to his feet. “Very well then. We will go back and I will kill her and free you,” he
says.
“That won’t work. She has a new legion. She calls them the Ghost Legion. Every single one of
them is as strong and powerful as you. She has stripped their senses of self. They are like ghosts.
They are as brutal as you, but nowhere near as smart.” I don’t know why I smile when I say this but I do. Maybe I have learned to appreciate irony.
“I cannot betray you,” Kroll says. “That day when you engraved my loyalty to you by touching
my heart has changed everything for me. I need to protect you and serve you. It is not something I can just stop feeling.”
“Which is why I’m going to release you,” I say. “Go back to her. You don’t owe me allegiance
anymore. I release you. You don’t have to suffer for me. You don’t have to force yourself to stay
loyal. Do what is expected of you. You are free.”
“You call that freedom?” Kroll says. His face goes white as he stares at the wall opposite him
in complete stillness. “It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is,” I say and grab his hand. I feel my energy pass through his body and then back to me.
I recite the code that once bonded us and now use it to release him.
Kroll’s body shakes uncontrollably. I let go of him and realize I might have made a horrible
mistake. Maybe that was the plan the Empress had in mind all along. Release Kroll and he will
become the beast he once was in an instant. What’s to stop him from killing me right now?
He calms. His head hangs low for a few seconds and when he raises it again, I see a blank
expression on his face.
“I will do as you say. I will go back,” he says without looking at me. “That is where I belong
now.”
He walks to the door slowly and puts his hand on the doorknob. He stops and turns back
possessing an almost tender expression. “Choose Sirku. I will not forget,” he says and walks out.
*
I SIT WITH FINN and Nya in Command Deck waiting for Eldritch to show up. There has barely
been a moment of peace for anyone since our return to the station. Every single person on Exodus, be
it civilian, military or in administration, is anxious and concerned about what’s to come.
Work on enhancing shields and defensive systems has been going on non-stop. The whole station
is bustling with activity and anxiety. Nobody says it but I know there’s plenty of people who blame us directly for what has happened since we set foot on the Exodus.
Eldritch shows up with Lainey helping him along.
“Excuse the delay,” Eldritch says. “We had a rather contentious meeting over in Sector Four
regarding our preparedness to fight.”
“That will not be necessary,” I say. “I must go back and you must depart this hemisphere.”
“That is for Exodus to decide,” Lainey steps in to speak for Eldritch.
“You’ve lost enough of your young men,” I remind them.
“That we have,” Eldritch says regretfully. “I have so many questions, Freya. What happened in
South America? Tell us of the Empress.”
“All due respect, Sir, none of that matters,” I say. “We need to make plans for a different path
for Exodus and the Saviors. Plans that do not include me.”
“We plan to fight, Freya, whether Exodus joins us or not,” Finn says.
“You are making plans?” Eldritch asks.
“We’ll attack Plantation-15,” Nya says.
That’s news to me. I turn to Finn looking for an explanation.
“I don’t think I can let you do that,” Eldritch says.
“I don’t see how you could stop us,” Finn says. “You will be far away from the plantations and
the battles. It is our choice to risk our lives. Sometimes the only thing that keeps us human is that we refuse to give up.”
Eldritch leans back on his chair. “Let’s consider more options,” he says. “But honestly, I hope it
will not come to that. The world is a better place with the Saviors alive.”
When we exit the deck, Joshua emerges from the shadows of a lab. He has lost some weight and
his hair is unkempt which is alarming to me.
“I’m at your call,” he says. “I will do anything I can to make sure we rescue those captured.”
“That’s good to hear,” I say. “There will be no battle.”
“You have a lot of influence on the council,” Finn says ignoring me. “What do you think their
decision will be?”
“My prediction is we will decide to make a stand,” he says. “But even if that doesn’t happen, I
will join you in whatever you decide to do.”
He lowers his eyes and takes a deep breath. Suddenly I know what’s going through his head. I
understand his heart.
“You want Zoe back,” I say. “More than anything else.”
“No one knows better than you how that feels,” he tells me.
“I know how that feels,” Nya cuts in.
I put my arm around her. I know how much she misses Theo.
“Guys, I appreciate the love and loyalty,” I say. “Those things are the most precious
commodities in this messed up world, but please stop preparing to be slaughtered on my account.”
“We will be slaughtered on our own account,” Finn says defiantly as if that was a good point.
“You go back if you have to, but keep your head down when we show up and start zapping all those
shriveled-up alien monsters.”
“Finn, you are no match for their receptors and you know it.”
Joshua shakes his head. “We must find a way to outthink the Empress.”
“She has won,” I say. “There are no more moves to make.”
*
THE OBSERVATORY IS QUIET. I can hear my thoughts whispering his name. Every cell and
molecule in my body misses him. Damian. There has always been so little time with him and so much
time to miss him.
Whenever Finn seeks my attention, I force a smile for him and nod at everything he says. The
possible solutions, the obstacles, the precautions, the options, the dangers. But I can’t stay focused.
I’m mad at myself for showing this kind of weakness at a moment when absolute strength and courage
are required. But I can’t help it. Even my unwashed, pathetic-looking hair yearns for Damian’s touch.
I push away my pain but it keeps pushing back. I keep telling myself that maybe Finn is right,
maybe we can find a way. We’ve beat the odds before, but back then I
had my trusted receptor. What
do I have now? A beaten down, apathetic, frightened spirit and a body that’s being savaged by
longing.
Even if I find Damian, who exactly will I find? Will I be able to pull him out of yet another
transformation and bring the man I love back to me? How many more times will I be able to wipe the
fog off his brain and heart?
Besides, there’s so much more at stake this time. It’s not just Damian who’s in danger but just
about everyone I love and care for. If it weren’t for Finn’s relentless dedication to the impossible, I would just stay in bed with Tobi one more day and then return.
“Freya,” Finn says. “Your touchpad.”
I look down at my hands holding my new buzzing touchpad.
“A text message,” I say.
“Who is it from?”
I search for the sender but the only thing I see is Unidentified.
“That’s strange,” I say. “The sender has been cloaked somehow.”
“What does it say?”
My fingers tremble as a little impulse of hope shoots through me.
The time has come, the message says, the blush of the seasons is changing. Take fate in your own hands, little girl. Your story must end for it to begin.
I glance at Finn who is as perplexed as I am.
“Do you understand anything?” he says.
I’m about to shake my head but then it all becomes clear. “It’s Zolkon,” I say. “He said
something similar to me before I left the plantation.”
“He’s urging you to take control. To go to war basically,” Finn says.
“He could be setting us up.”
“I don’t get the last part at all. I think it’s a riddle,” Finn says. “But I’m not good at riddles.”
“Who’s good at riddles?” I ask.
Finn smiles. “Ella might be. She’s always reading nursery rhymes and riddles to the children.”
“Nursery rhymes, Finn?”
“Well? Do you have a better idea?” he says and the truth is I don’t. In fact, I have no ideas and
why not let him have his hopes?
“Wait a little before you call her,” I say.
He considers my words for a while before he gets it. He touches a key on the console. The roof
slides away above giving way to a transparent crystal dome. Lonely stars and frail constellations fill up our eyes with silver light.
beyond the river of time Page 14