Mika cusses.
“His name isn’t Jasper. His name is Sam Clayton. He’s a very disturbed individual and is the same asshole that’s claiming to be Mikaela’s husband. The same piece of crap that has been dragging my name through the mud and accusing me of trying to murder my sister. I would have never let you anywhere near that place if I knew that piece of shit was even in a five-mile radius. When I saw you leaving with him on the security footage I thought I was going to lose my mind.”
Mika runs his hands through his hair.
“I don’t know how this even fucking happened. We couldn’t find out anything about that piece of shit at first but then we figured out he was using a fake name. He was obviously using a different name while working at Hillcrest. I have a detailed list of who works there.”
He sees the surprised look on my face and adds, “My sister and my girlfriend are in that building. I need to know who is in that building, Raeva. I won’t apologize for wanting to keep the both of you safe.”
Mika leans in and our eyes lock.
“Don’t you ever fucking do something like this to me again. You have taken twenty years off my life today. You have to promise me that you will not ditch Clark again. If you don’t like Clark we can get somebody else, but you will be protected at all times. I have come too close to losing you today. I can’t have that happen again.”
My first instinct is to tell him how sorry I am—because I am, I really am. But then I remember the pictures and that opens the door for so many questions that I need him to answer.
“There is something that you need to see,” I tell him.
I turn and head into the room that is plastered with our pictures. I was in this room only minutes ago but when I walk back in and see the walls that are covered with our images, the turmoil of emotions that overcomes me is like a punch to the gut. Mika follows me and I hear him cuss to himself when he sees the pictures.
“That sick son of a bitch has been stalking us,” Mika growls.
I raise my eyebrow.
“Sick son of a bitch?” I ask him. “Is that what you call somebody that is stalking you?”
He looks at me, bewildered.
“What the hell else would you call it?” he snaps at me.
I scoff.
“You have some nerve snapping at me,” I shoot back. “Talk about the pot calling the damn kettle black.”
I rip a picture of him walking into Heritage Memorial Hospital off the wall and hold it out in front of him. I drop the picture on the floor and walk over the wall that has the pictures of me on stage at the bar where Mika is staring at me and point.
“This was taken before we met. How do you explain that?”
The expression on Mika’s face turns from irritation into contrition.
“Are you a sick son of a bitch, too? Because it seems to me that Jasper isn’t the only one here proficient in stalking,” I bite out.
“Surely you can see that what he did and what I did are not the same thing.”
I frown.
“What exactly is different?” I snap. “You followed me around and watched my every move, just like he did to you. Do you know that he told me that he started to notice me because you were watching me?”
Mika cringes.
“It is not the same thing,” he says as he carefully takes a step toward me. “I just didn’t know how to approach you. When I first saw you I wanted to know more about you. I knew from the very first time I heard your voice that I had to meet you. But then when I saw you, and nearly fell over, I knew I had to find a way to get to know you. I wasn’t trying to stalk you but I was keeping tabs on you. When I discovered you were out and celebrating, I had to see you.”
Not for the first time I feel my resolve weaken. I can feel the sincerity of his words and it touches me.
“That still doesn’t make it okay or not creepy. Why didn’t you just approach me that night?”
“I didn’t want to be just some guy you met at a bar. I wanted us to—”
“You wanted to control how we met, so you could control my opinion of you before I found out about your shady past with women,” I interrupt. “Mika, you were trying to manipulate me into having a relationship with you. Why the hell would you think that was necessary? You clearly had no faith in me or in us at all.”
Mika looks as me, frustration clear on his face, but he doesn’t say a word so I continue.
“And what about my job? Do you know that Mrs. Sims has made my life miserable since day one because of you? What else have you manipulated to fit your needs?”
“Do you want to know why? I was scared, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”
“If that’s the truth, then yes.”
“Having faith in you or in us has nothing to do with anything. Don’t you see that I was trying to get you to like me before you found out that I am not, and never will be, good enough for you? You are everything that I never knew I wanted and everything that I never thought I deserved.”
Mika takes another step closer and I take a step back. I need to remain at a small distance to keep my head clear. Mika sighs.
“As for your job, I didn’t want just anyone taking care of one of the most important people in my life. I had seen you in action at the hospital, caring for a total stranger in your damn spare time. I knew that Mikaela would be in good hands and that you would love to work there. I did my research, and found that you had already submitted an application; all I did was select the best possible candidate to take care of Mikaela.”
Although I definitely do not agree with his methods, I can’t help but be flattered by his reasoning for doing what he did. But I also cannot accept this kind of behavior and set the wrong kind of expectation.
“You can’t control everyone and everything in your life. And I do not want or need to be controlled, Mika. I am not one of your employees who jumps at your every command. I need you to understand that.”
“I do understand that, Sweet Pea. I would never dream of trying to stifle the amazing person that you are or try and control you. But you in turn will have to understand that I am going to stop at nothing when it comes to your safety. I am a very wealthy man, and unfortunately that comes with many envious people. I can’t say that I don’t have any enemies. I need to know that you are safe at all times and I will go through any lengths necessary.”
“Keeping me safe and stalking me are two entirely different things, Mika. How am I supposed to just forget that you basically stalked me and manipulated me into falling for you?”
“I know what it looks like and I am sorry. I should have just manned up and approached you the first day. Honestly, I think I was just freaked out by the fact that I actually wanted to get to know you and I had to come to terms with that before I met you.”
I sigh and I cradle my head in my hands. When I look up after a moment I see Mika has inched a bit closer. I hold up my hand.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I am beyond grateful that you got here when you did, but explain to me how the hell you knew where I was.”
“I tracked your phone.”
“You tracked my phone?”
“Fuck yes I tracked your phone. I watched you leave the building with that crazy son of a bitch, I needed to get to you fast. Like I said, when it comes to your safety there isn’t a line I won’t cross.”
Mika closes the distance between us with purposeful strides and pulls me into his arms. He leans in and our gazes meet.
“No Mika, stop,” I sigh. “I don’t think that I can do this, Mika,” I say, my voice breaking on the last syllable. “I’m sorry. I am not sure if I can ever learn to trust you, or anything that you tell me for that matter.”
I push myself away from him.
“After seeing all this,” I say, gesturing around the room, “After everything that has happened today…I need some space.”
“Some space? What does that mean?”
I take a couple steps back, creating the distanc
e I desperately need in order to proceed with this.
“Exactly what I said. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t want you following me around.”
The look on his face almost sways me. He looks broken, destroyed, but I tell myself to be strong.
“Raeva, please,” he breathes.
Tears are streaming freely down my face.
“No, Mika,” I choke out. “No.”
I don’t even bother to wipe the waterfall of tears because I already know there’s no use.
“At least let Sean take you home, please. So I will know that you are safe,” he pleads.
A woman with a camera walks in and panic starts to boil inside of me. I immediately grab hold of Mika. Then I notice the police logo on her jacket. She is just taking crime scene photos. I relax some. Good Lord, I don’t think I will ever feel comfortable having my picture taken ever again. The officer that comments on Jasper’s handiwork on the walls asks us to come into the station and give our statements.
“She has been through enough for one day, don’t you think?” Mika tells the man, voice irate.
Even now, after I clearly hurt him, his first instinct is to protect me. The officer apologizes and agrees to let me come to the station in the morning. I let go of Mika, who I now realize I have been clinging to. I once more take a few steps to create some distance between us—knowing I need this distance from him so that I can be strong.
“Will Jill be home when you get there?” he asks, voice on edge.
I have not even thought of that and the prospect of being alone tonight is not a welcome thought. Mika seems to understand that my silence means that I don’t know. He pulls out his phone and punches in a text. After a moment, he looks up from his phone.
“She’s on her way home. Sean will take you.”
I am too exhausted to argue and all I want is to get out of here. Mika takes a step toward me but stops when he sees me take a step back in reaction.
“I’ll give you space, Raeva. But I won’t give up on us. I need you,” he says.
It looks like wants to say more but he slams his lips shut, takes a few steps toward me, and gently kisses my temple. I hear him breathe in my scent as he steps away from me.
“Sean!” he snaps.
Sean immediately appears out of nowhere. The man seriously needs a damn bell.
“Sir?”
“Take Ms. Ray home, please.”
“The apartment, sir?”
Mika is silent for a moment. I can clearly read the hurt on his face but he recovers quickly, his facial expression as stoic as ever.
“No, her house,” he says as he avoids eye contact. “Make sure Ms. Baldwin is present before you leave her,” he adds before he turns on his heel and leaves. I watch Mika Kingsley walk out of my life but I know he lives in the million pieces that now make up my heart.
It has been thirteen days, fifteen hours, and twenty-seven minutes since I have last seen his face, felt his touch, or heard his voice. These past 19,647 minutes of my life have been nothing short of pure hell. The bruises on my neck have pretty much faded away now, but the bruises on my heart are still very much present. I try and pretend that I am okay during the day but the second my head hits the pillow at night, I lay there thinking about him, missing his touch and his warmth. Missing him. I cry myself to sleep every single night.
Food tastes bland and really, I only eat because Jill is practically force-feeding me. My person has been amazing, even postponing the opening of Serenity to be here to take care of me. But it is now time to put my big girl panties back on. This morning I am headed back to work for the first time since…the incident. Surprisingly, Mrs. Sims let me have time off work to gather myself a bit. Part of me is pretty sure she thinks I might implicate the clinic, but mostly I suspect that Mika has somehow forced her hand again. I walk into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and see that Jill is already up and cooking.
“Morning, sunshine!” she says brightly. “Get in the shower, Rae. I’m making you breakfast and then I am taking you to work.”
I force a smile.
“Sounds great. Thanks, Jillybean.”
Although the affection in my voice is genuine, the smile on my face isn’t. I adore my person and I appreciate her trying to make me feel better, but my heart is aching. I don’t know any other way to distract myself from constantly thinking about how much I miss Mika besides throwing myself into what I love more than anything, which is taking care of others. Going back to work is the best thing for me right now. I head to the shower and make quick work of it. I am scrubbed up and ready to go in less than twenty-five minutes. As promised, Jill is dropping me off and even though I convinced myself that I was ready to be here, the reality of the situation hits me hard. This is the first time I have been back and the memories of the last time I was here are fresher on my mind than I thought they would be. My breath hitches in my throat and my heart rate accelerates as I make my way through the hallway to the staff room. I overhear some people talking as I get to the door.
“She doesn’t remember a huge chunk of her life! Like years of her life are just poof—gone.”
I open the door and am almost knocked over when Tammy runs over to me and basically jumps me.
“Rae!” she exclaims, smiling wide. “I am so glad you are back, we’ve missed you.”
I smile at her, and although I can’t deny that what she said was nice to hear, I know that the smile hasn’t reached my eyes.
“It is good to be back,” I lie smoothly.
“Isn’t it incredible news about Ms. Kingsley? Sara was telling me that she has made strides already.” She beams. “And Dr. Samson says that if she keeps improving at this rate she’ll be home in no time.”
I blink a couple of times.
“Mikaela is awake?” I ask Tammy. “When did she wake up?”
Tammy frowns at me.
“Like a little over a week ago. you didn’t know?”
I shake my head.
“Oh,” Tammy says.
I smile at her.
“This is wonderful news. I am very happy to hear that she is doing so much better.”
I walk over to the wall, look at the schedule, and see that I am once again assigned to Mikaela. I swallow hard. I don’t know if I can stomach seeing Mika. You’d think that Mrs. Sims would have at least given me some heads up. Damn him. I told him I needed space and here he goes manipulating the situation, proving to me once again that this will never work out. I sigh and take a moment to collect myself. I can do this, I am just doing my job and that is it, I tell myself. I tell Tammy to have a good day and make my way to the nurse’s station by Mikaela’s suite. After I get the report from the night shift nurse I make my way over to the suite. I reach up to knock on the door when it opens. It startles me and I stumble backwards. I am grabbed by my wrists and when I look up I don’t see the face I dreaded to see. I almost sigh in relief.
“Easy there, Rae,” he says, smiling.
I feel my cheeks heat up.
“Hello, Mr. Hardwick.”
“Hey, my father is Mr. Hardwick. Please, call me Eric.”
I manage another fake smile—damn, I am starting to get good at this.
“Hello, Eric.”
“I was just on my way out, but I will be back in a few hours,” he says.
I nod.
“Okay, see you later,” I say pleasantly.
I continue to walk into the room. Mikaela is eating breakfast at the dining table.
“Good morning, Ms. Kingsley,” I say.
Mikaela looks up from her breakfast and the brightest smile appears on her face. Within seconds she has lifted herself out of her seat.
“You are Raeva Ray,” she says.
I answer her even though she stated that it was my name instead of questioning if it was.
“Yes, that’s me.”
Mikaela takes a few more steps toward me.
“I know this will sound strang
e, but I remember you,” she says, almost whispering. “Or rather…I remember your voice. You sang to me and you read to me,” she muses.
I nod and smile at her and that’s when I register that this is the first genuine smile I have given in weeks. Mikaela closes the distance between us and pulls me into a hug.
“I am happy to see that you are doing so well,” I tell her as she lets me go.
“I would be doing a whole lot better if I could actually remember the last five years of my life,” Mikaela says as she rolls her eyes. “I can’t remember the last five years but I remember things from when I was in a coma. How weird is that?”
“Give it time,” I say gently. “Focus on healing your body and then we will work on your memories.”
Mikaela smiles at me.
“I can see why you knocked Mika on his ass.”
The mention of his name makes my heart ache.
“He misses you…” Mikaela searches my eyes. “He needs you, Raeva. I have never seen him like this.”
I shake my head.
“I’m sorry, Mikaela. But it just can’t work between us.” I sigh. “I specifically asked him for some space and to not interfere with my job. But it seems he went behind my back again and had me reassigned to you again. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing you but it just proves to me that he is unable to help himself. It doesn’t matter how much I care about him…I refuse to be manipulated.”
Mikaela reaches for my hand.
“I am not really sure what happened between you and Mika and I am not trying to get in the middle of what is going on.” She squeezes my hand. “But please believe me when I tell you that my brother has nothing to do with that, he doesn’t even know. I specifically asked for you. I made Eric take care of the switch. I was the one that got you switched over, I promise.”
I am once again embarrassed, jumping to conclusions without even considering any other explanation. To top it off, I am giving myself whiplash because a moment ago I was upset with him for orchestrating this, but now I am upset because he didn’t. What the heck?
Tomorrow: Kingsley series book 1 Page 18