Baseball and Other Lessons (Devil's Ranch Book 2)
Page 19
She looked up at him. “Why would I be mad?”
“One, that Heather’s trying to claim I was dancing with her rather than you and two, that I’m trying to disassociate myself from being in Del Rio and in April’s that night.”
“I’m not going to be mad about you trying to disassociate yourself from being in Del Rio. You’ve gotten lucky so far that the media hasn’t tracked you down. As for Heather? That bitch doesn’t even deserve a thought much less my anger.”
He kissed her on the top of her head, grateful she’d been so understanding. “So what do you have planned for today?”
Her stomach rumbled and she laughed. “Apparently my stomach wants me to feed it. After that I figured I would work on finalizing some lesson plans since this is my last free week before my summer break is over.”
“Sounds exciting.”
She picked at her thumb nail. “Actually, I was going to ask you something I’ve been thinking about for a couple of weeks, but haven’t known how.”
He stilled briefly before continuing to wrap her hair around his finger. Kind of like how she has you wrapped around hers. “Shoot.”
“So there’s this book I’m teaching this year to my students, called Curveball: The Year I Lost My Grip. It’s a young adult novel about an all-star pitcher who injures his arm just before his freshman year of high school and he finds himself trying to figure out who he is without baseball. I was wondering—if you’re still around when I have the kids read the book—if you would be willing to come in and talk to one or two of my classes about baseball and other lessons and stuff,” she said in a rush.
Matt shook his head. “What makes you think I would be a good person to talk to a bunch of seventh graders?”
She shot him a look that clearly said please. “Because you’re a great speaker. You’re engaging, you don’t lay on the bullshit and it would be great for my kids to hear from someone they look up to as a role model.”
“I’m nobody’s role model.”
Jenn sat up and turned so she was facing him. “Like it or not, Matt, you are. Kids look up to you. Boys want to be you when they grow up. You’re our hometown boy done good, and you’ve mostly done it the right way.”
“Mostly?”
Her mouth quirked up. “Well, there was that one-night stand in San Antonio.”
He laced his fingers through hers. “You know you were more than that, right?”
“I know.” She squeezed his hand. “But that’s not the subject at hand. I understand if you don’t want to do it, and I understand if you can’t. It was just an idea I had that I thought would be a really cool bonus for one or two of my classes.”
“Can I think about it?”
She nodded. “Absolutely. And I mean it, Matt, no pressure. Don’t feel like you have to out of some misguided sense of honor or because of whatever this is going on between us right now.”
Apparently now that they’d addressed the elephant in the past Jenn wasn’t holding back on addressing the elephants in the present. “Fair enough. I’ll think about it. As to the rest of your statement…”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s okay, too, Matt. I’m good with just going with the flow right now. To be honest, I’m enjoying this truce and not feeling any pressure. Besides, with so much in the air what good does it do us to try to define anything?”
Her statement left him feeling slightly unsettled because, in a weird sort of twist, he did want to define whatever this was between them. If Jenn was okay with going with the flow, though, he could try to do the same for her sake.
Definitions could always come later.
Jenn’s stomach growled again, and Matt pushed aside his unease and uncertainty and smiled at her. “Come on, pretty lady, let’s go get some lunch.”
She smiled back at him. “Sounds good to me. Let me throw on some clothes first, though.”
“Don’t get dressed on my account.” He really did like seeing her in these tiny tank tops and even tinier boxer shorts she seemed to enjoy wearing.
She unfolded her long legs and got up from the couch. “More like on account of public decency. Be right back.”
She disappeared down the hall and into her bedroom, and Matt rested his head against the back of the couch cushions. He blew out a long, slow breath and closed his eyes against the swirling, falling sensation in his gut.
This woman. This woman was either going to be the life or death of him, he wasn’t sure which just yet.
Chapter Seventeen
“Well there you are, stranger,” Sarah said as Matt stepped into his parents’ kitchen later that afternoon. His mom quickly came to him and wrapped flour-covered arms around him, enveloping him with the scent of vanilla and sugar.
He glanced hopefully towards the mixer on the countertop. “Chocolate chip?”
“With walnuts.”
He squeezed his mom and bussed her on the cheek. “Best. Mom. Ever.”
She swatted him once he let her go, and then turned back to her cookie dough. “What’s got you in such a good mood?”
He shrugged and fought the smile that wanted to spread across his face. “Just been a good day is all.”
She looked over her shoulder at him, her salt and pepper hair held back by a thin silver headband. “Even with the rumors that girl tried to get started about the YouTube video?”
Matt’s happiness faltered and stumbled just a little bit. “Even with the rumors.”
Sarah spooned dough onto a baking sheet and Matt leaned against the kitchen island, his mouth watering. His mom made the best chocolate chip cookies.
“You and Jenn sure did look cozy in that video.”
Matt choked on air and coughed to cover it up. And this was what he’d been afraid of. Sarah didn’t look back at him, but he could only imagine the expression on her face. She was probably ready to kill him, or at least leave the walnuts out of his cookies. His parents loved Jenn like the daughter they’d never had, and he could only imagine what they would think—or do—if they found out about him and a certain sexy seventh grade teacher.
He schooled his features and tried to make sure his voice was calm and even. “We’re friends who were just dancing with each other.”
“Oh, please. Don’t try to B.S. me Matthew Roberts. I saw the way you were looking at each other in that video. You don’t dance together like that if you’re just friends.”
She didn’t sound angry. Instead, she sounded weirdly pleased. Thrown for a loop yet a little curious, Matt cautiously said, “Would you have a problem if we were more than friends?”
“I love that girl like a daughter. I obviously love you like a son. I’ve been waiting for both of you—and Chase—to settle down and give me babies to cuddle. It looks like Chase and Jo are finally getting their acts together, so I was hoping either you or Jenn would be next. If you and Jenn get your acts together, well, together, that’s even better as far as I’m concerned. Just don’t break her heart—that girl’s got some secret pain, and try as I might I’ve never been able to get it out of her.”
Matt swallowed the lump of guilt lodged in his throat. Before he could say anything, though, Sarah continued. “And she better not break your heart, either. I know you think you’ve got this tough guy image but I know you—I did give birth to you, after all—and you’ve always been a bit sensitive.”
Matt rubbed at his chest as Sarah opened the oven and slid the cookie sheet onto a rack. “I’m not sensitive.”
Sarah wiped off her hands with a dish towel and stepped towards him. She cupped his cheek with her palm—a sign of affection he hadn’t realized until now he’d picked up from her——and smiled. “Oh, my sweet boy, yes you are. You may have the arm and body of a serious athlete, but inside you have a poet’s soul.” She turned away and pulled another cookie sheet out of a cupboard. “Do you remember when you were a boy, before the first time you picked up a baseball? You used to sit with me and have me read fairy tales to you. As you got older your favorite boo
ks were always escapist tales of adventure and romance. Do you not remember how many times you watched The Princess Bride?”
It was probably well over a hundred at this point. The movie was a classic, for crying out loud. “All those stories had danger and intrigue, too, and there’s humor and sword fighting in The Princess Bride, not to mention Andre the freaking Giant.”
Sarah swatted him with the end of a cup towel. “Oh, please. Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes young man.”
He held up his hands in surrender. “Fine. I have a thing for fairy tales and The Princess Bride. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
It sure didn’t make him less of a man. Right?
Right?
“No, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Sarah turned towards the oven, opened the door and pulled out a sheet full of perfectly baked walnut chocolate chip cookies.
Matt’s mouth began to water, so he walked over to the refrigerator, grabbed a gallon of milk and poured himself a glass. Before Sarah could catch him he grabbed a still-hot cookie off the sheet, bounced it between his hands briefly before setting it down on a saucer his mom handed him. He bit in, closing his eyes as the flavors danced over his tongue, savoring the semi-sweet chocolate mingled with walnuts and vanilla. He chased his bite of cookie with a drink of his milk.
“You’re using protection, right?”
He spit milk everywhere. Sarah simply handed him her cup towel.
“Jesus, Mom. What the hell kind of question is that? And with whom?”
“With Jenn, obviously. And it’s an important one.”
He mopped up the milk and prayed for patience. “Jenn and I aren’t…we’re not…we’re just friends, Mom.”
Friends who make out and have really hot fooling around sessions.
He set the towel aside and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“But you want to be more than friends.”
“What am I, in high school?”
Sarah laughed. “No. You’re definitely not in high school. I just like to know what’s going on with my boys.”
Matt broke another piece off his cookie, popped it into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. It was kind of weirding him out that his mom seemed to be encouraging him and Jenn dating, not to mention her sudden interest in his love life. On the flipside, the fact that his mom wasn’t freaking out at the thought of him and Jenn dating made him feel slightly less nervous about the situation. If he had Mom in his corner, that would go a long way towards getting Chase in his corner, and if he were being completely honest with himself his brother’s reaction was the one he worried about the most.
He took a sip of milk and swallowed before choosing his next words carefully. “That secret hurt you mentioned Jenn having? Part of that is my fault.”
Sarah continued to calmly spoon cookie dough onto the baking sheet on the counter, her back towards Matt. “I don’t know that I want details, but I’m willing to listen if you need to talk.”
He contemplated the final piece of his cookie, the lumps and bumps of disparate ingredients that combined to form something so good, and said, “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much the past ten years. I always thought I was living without regrets, but being home this summer and, well, almost dying have kind of shown me that that was bullshit.”
“I always knew you would come back to us completely, Matthew. You had to go your own way and live your own life, and Dad and I understood that.”
His mom’s words, spoken with affection rather than anger, soothed a place in his soul he hadn’t realized was hurting. “It’s just…I hurt Jenn and I was embarrassed and honestly a little scared to be around her, and I knew that if I came home too often, spent too much time with y’all or Chase that odds are Jenn and I would bump into each other. It was just easier to avoid everyone rather than confront my own mistakes.”
Sarah moved to the oven and removed the second cookie sheet, setting it on top of a trivet before placing the next one in the oven. Once that was done, she propped her elbows on the island across from him, her eyes filled with understanding. “Oh, honey, we’ve all made mistakes. Some of us never own up to them, while others simply take time to find their way. While a part of me wants to ground you for hurting Jenn, the other part of me is proud you’re facing those things now—whatever those things may be.”
A small smile played at his lips. “Mom, you can’t ground me anymore. I’m thirty-five.”
“No, but I can take away all of the cookies.”
He held a hand to his heart. “Ouch. Way to hit a man where it hurts.”
“Judging from that video I saw last night, you’re doing a good job making up for whatever it is you did.”
Matt shook his head. “Believe it or not, at that point she still wanted to rip my head off.”
Sarah arched an eyebrow. “Matthew, honey, who ever said love has to make any sense?”
“Love? Who said anything about love? She just decided she likes me two days ago.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, sweetie, you have so much to learn about women—and yourself, still.”
Love? That’s just crazy talk. Jenn doesn’t love me. I don’t love Jenn.
Or does she?
Do I?
Oh fuck this. I’m just gonna have another cookie.
#
Later that night, Matt lay in the bed in Chase’s guest room and replayed the conversation with his mom in his mind.
What if Jenn was in love with him?
He dismissed the thought almost as soon as it entered his head.
There was no way Jenn was in love with him. Like he’d told Sarah, Jenn had just decided two nights ago that she could get along with him.
Now, if they were talking about lust, Matt had no doubt that Jenn wanted him. But wanting someone physically and wanting someone emotionally were two completely different things. Jenn seemed to finally be getting comfortable with the attraction that burned hot between them—if this morning was any indication—but he seriously doubted she was in love with him.
His phone dinged beside him. He picked it up. Another freaking Twitter alert. He set the phone back face down on the bed.
He was so fucking tired of Twitter.
Sighing, he returned to his conundrum.
He was pretty sure there was no way Jenn felt anything beyond lust and a budding friendship towards him. He tried not to let that thought hurt, but it kind of did. Dammit.
Was Mom kind of right? Is love involved here?
Honestly, he didn’t know. He’d never been in love before, had always managed to stay emotionally detached from the women he’d casually dated. The only woman he’d ever been with who’d made him feel anything was Jenn.
And it scared you so bad you ran from her hotel room like a fucking pussy.
But had it been love that night, or just an unexpected attraction that he blew up to something bigger in his mind because of their shared history? Besides, who fell in love after one night of sex?
No one. That’s who.
So, no, he couldn’t be in love with Jenn.
But if he wasn’t, what was this feeling, this burning need to be near her, to see her smile and hear her voice? Why did he crave her touch and her scent?
Why the hell couldn’t he get her out of his head?
His phone dinged again. He picked it back up, read the latest tweet and barely resisted throwing the phone across the room.
Chapter Eighteen
@Deadspin: Throw hard. Party hard. Matt Roberts livin’ it up while on DL deadsp.in/lO1VeRs
@ESPN: Where’s Matt Roberts? Club says pitcher in DFW. Mystery video says elsewhere. es.pn/0danC1E
@BR_MLB: Per sources, @MattRoberts not in Dallas but Del Rio, dancing it up ble.ac/2LIgit2
Jenn sighed as she read the latest tweets coming in tonight. Trepidation slogging through her veins she clicked on the link to open up the Deadspin article, half afraid of what she would see. Considering the source, she never knew if she was
going to get a legitimate sports news story or pictures of some random athlete’s dick.
As much as she’d enjoyed seeing Matt’s penis earlier, she wasn’t sure she wanted to see photos of it plastered all over the internet.
The article loaded and she found herself staring a gif of her and Matt dancing at April’s that night. Shit.
“The internet really is forever,” she murmured to herself.
Jenn scrolled past the gif to the story. Or, rather, the one paragraph and couple of lines of text that passed for an article.
That right there is a gif of a man loving being on the DL, folks. Just a month after taking a line drive to the head that almost killed him, Wranglers’ ace Matt Roberts was seen living it up at a bar. Somewhere. Professional athlete stalker Heather Smith claims the woman in the video is her, but Smith is a blonde with artificial breasts, which this woman obviously is not.
So, folks, who’s the mystery lady? And where’s Waldo—erm, Matt Roberts?
Ugh. Apparently Deadspin hadn’t received Darrin’s statement yet, or they were ignoring it for the sake of celebrity gossip.
Which she was suddenly a part of.
Her life had taken a really strange turn over the past few weeks, that was for sure.
Jenn closed out the tab with the Deadspin article and clicked on the ESPN article next.
As Matt Roberts was carted off the field on a stretcher a month ago, baseball fans around the country held their collective breaths. It was the image of baseball nightmares—a quick comebacker straight to the mound, and the pitcher’s head.
Over the course of any given season close to a million pitches are thrown. 99.9% of those pitches will not result in a line drive that comes back to the mound—and the pitcher’s head. Roberts, unfortunately, became a part of that less than .10% of a chance and suffered a fractured skull and brain bleed. Fans sighed in relief when the Wranglers’ released a statement about Roberts’ health just a few days later. Their ace would be okay and was recovering in a local hospital which he would be released from most likely within the week.