by Melissa Haag
She nodded and stood. Her fingers gently slipped from mine.
“Save me some food if there’s enough,” I said as she walked toward the door.
I reached up and touched my ear to make sure Grey had sewn it straight. Would the stitches just fall out the next time I shifted? I hoped not. I didn’t want him to stitch it a second time. He had too much fun doing it the first time.
Before she closed the door, Charlene promised to set some food aside.
Alone, I stood and picked up the bowl of cold rinse water, not bothering to wait for the warm stuff. It felt good on my bruised ribs and cuts, but nowhere else. Resisting the urge to shake off, I stepped from the tub and grabbed a towel. Then I took a new pair of pants from the pile stacked in the corner.
When I stepped out, Charlene was at the pump. I went to fetch the bucket for emptying the tub, but she told me they’d do that after they finished the dishes. Then she nodded toward the single plate on the table, and I dutifully sat and ate.
They are lining up out here, Gregory sent me.
How many?
Six so far.
Sighing, I finished my last bite and brought my plate to the sink. Grey watched me closely.
It’s time we go back out, I sent him. I want you to guard the door.
You’re not seriously going to accept more, are you? he silently asked me.
I think I am. I hold eight willing and loyal members. My link to each of you is solid and steady. The link to Ash is solid enough and his resistance like a vibration. It’s annoying, but nothing I can’t handle.
I started for the door and he followed.
But the more you –
This is the best way, Grey. As I add members, everyone will see my steady control. Those who are only following Ash’s lead to join will give up his cause and ask to leave. If I do not except them, they will find another more aggressive way to tear Charlene from this place. I do not want a pack war.
Stepping through the door, I was met with the sight of over fifteen males. Six stood apart from the rest, right beside Ash who smirked at me.
“Thomas,” he said. “I’ve found a few more who would like to make your pack stronger.”
By protecting us, you endanger yourself.
That is the way of a leader, I silently said to Grey.
I knew better than to welcome all of them at once. Yet, any hesitation on my part would make me look weak and give them more cause to resist. Walking up to the first one, I asked his name and why he thought he would be a good addition to my pack. I didn’t care about his answer. I only wanted to spend a few minutes with him before I accepted him.
“I welcome you to the pack,” I said formally. As his link settled into place, I turned to the next and asked the same type of questions. With the first link firmly in my hold, I welcomed the second and moved to the third.
Ash’s impatience grew visibly. When I moved to stand in front of the forth, he stepped forward.
“Why are you wasting time?” he demanded.
I turned to him, very willing to give the last link an extra moment to settle into place.
“What is a pack?” I asked.
He stared at me for a moment, angry and puzzled by my question.
“A group of wolves holding a territory.”
I shook my head.
“Traditionally, a pack is family. Family knows where you’ve been and where you’re headed. Family knows what you’re capable of and how much they can depend on you. And, family knows your name. This pack may not be family by blood, but we still need to know each other.”
By the time I finished speaking, the link had settled into place. With four of them tugging, it took more concentration, but it wasn’t unmanageable.
Ash didn’t question me again as I continued to speak with the remaining members. Before I accepted the last, another stepped forward. Ash watched me closely, waiting for any sign I was close to my limit. I kept myself still and steady, giving him nothing. However, my head felt tight and achy when I finished. They pulled back on the links, resisting my hold on them.
The squeal of the pump from inside the building echoed in the clearing.
“Tonight, we can eat as a pack,” Ash said with a grin.
Charlene’s wondering what kind of meat we’ll have. Mary’s well-timed, silent interruption sparked an idea.
“If you want to eat as a pack, you need to hunt as a pack. Go bring down something bigger. Something to feed all of us.”
I stared at the six new members as I implanted my first command. I played a dangerous game. Most packs were family because no wolf was willing to take a command from a stranger. The feel of someone’s will overriding their own might be enough to force a few of these males to leave. However, it only made them rebel against our connection that much harder. Anger flushed the faces of many.
“We won’t be gone long,” Ash said, turning and running for the trees. The rest of his loyal pack mates ran with him.
The new members will bring back something big. We’ll need to feed at least twenty tonight.
I walked toward the building. Grey didn’t say anything, just watched me. I hoped that meant I was successfully hiding the strain of so many protesting members.
When we entered, Charlene looked up from her place at the stove and watched me cross to the table. I sat carefully, still sore from the challenges.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Everything’s fine. I sent all of the new members out to find bigger game since they feel it is now their right to eat at a table.” I rubbed my head, pushing at the ache in an effort to relieve the discomfort. It felt as if the last link hadn’t settled into place because there wasn’t a room for it. I hoped, as with the others, it would settle with time.
“Headache?” she said, watching me with concern. “I’m not sure if medicine will work the same on you, but there is some pain reliever left.” She moved toward the cabinet by the pump, but I stopped her.
“It won’t help.”
“What will help?” she asked.
“Cooperation.”
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“Eight more have joined my pack...eight angry men with the single purpose of pulling my pack apart.”
“Why let them join, then?” she asked, leaning back against the trough.
She looked cute and at ease with her attention focused on me. I wanted her to wrap her arms around me and run her fingers through my hair like she’d done before. Knowing how unlikely it was that I would get my way, I settled for conversation.
“Several reasons. As a member of my pack, there is little any of them can hide from me; and when I command them, they must obey. That means more protection for us from those who still want to cause trouble. But it also means resistance because the new members are doing things they don’t want to do.”
“Like what?”
“Leaving these buildings to hunt for food to feed the pack. They would rather stay and make nuisances of themselves, in hopes of making you leave. Their resistance to my command...” I rubbed my head again and tried to think of a way to explain it to her. “Imagine I’m holding one end of a rope, and the other end is held by a member of my pack. We are both pulling to keep the rope taut. When the member cooperates in holding their end steady, it requires very little effort on my part to keep the right tension in the rope. However, if the member pulls, I need to use more force to pull back to keep the member from pulling away completely.
“Now imagine sixteen ropes. I hold the end of all those ropes in one hand, and each member holds their own end. If one of those members pulls hard enough to jerk their rope from my grasp, I lose hold on all the ropes. The pack will fall apart. A leader can only hold so many ropes here.” I tapped my head. “And the more ropes he holds that resist him, the harder it becomes to maintain control.”
“So you need their cooperation.”
“Yes.”
She looked down at the floor for a moment, a fr
own pulling at her face.
“Do you want me to leave?” she asked finally, meeting my gaze again.
Without her, there would be no point to anything I was doing.
“No,” I said, then decided to be honest. “I want to know how I can Claim you. As my Mate, they are less likely to resist you. As my Mate, you could help me hold the pack together.” She didn’t look convinced. “I want to keep trying, Charlene. I promise I won’t hurt you again.”
She crossed her arms and gazed at me.
“Does your neck hurt?” she asked.
“A bit.”
“Good,” she said. When I laughed, she put her hands on her hips and glared at me. “It’s not fun being bitten, is it?”
“If you were doing the biting, I’d think it very fun.”
She blushed but didn’t back down.
“I’m tempted to bite you just to prove it wouldn’t be.”
The idea of her mouth on my neck brought me to my feet and carried me across the room before she could blink. Crowding her, I breathed in her scent. She might try to hide it, but a part of her had liked the idea, too.
Charlene’s gaze flicked to Grey as he and Mary quietly left the room.
“Do it,” I said, reclaiming her attention.
I tilted my head to the side and set my hands on the dry sink to stop their shaking.
“Perhaps when your neck doesn’t look like raw meatloaf,” she said.
I wanted to growl in frustration. Stubborn. Instead of growling, I played on her compassion.
“My neck hurts. My ribs hurt. My head hurts.” I sighed heavily and leaned down until my forehead rested on hers. “May I sleep in your room tonight?”
She pulled back and looked at me. Her gaze softened and her pulse kicked up.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
“That you’re too old and too wise for me.”
“Too old?” I snorted. “I’m no more than four years older.”
“I like how you didn’t try to defend your wisdom,” she said with a grin.
“You’re much wiser than me,” I said. “Even if you’re four years younger. May I sleep in your room tonight?”
“Yes, Thomas. You may.”
I leaned forward and rested my forehead on hers again. Her scent wrapped around me, comforting and distracting me from the ache in my head. Whether the resisting males realized it or not, Charlene’s presence had already changed us for the better. We were finally working together to survive.
“If I’m the hand that holds this pack together, you’ll be the heart.”
Her fingers feathered through my hair. I lifted my hand to hold her, but Grey interrupted me.
Can I talk to you?
His timing couldn’t be worse, but I knew he wouldn’t ask unless it was important. I brushed my lips against Charlene’s cheek and slipped from her half-embrace.
“I have to go. But I’ll send Mary back in.”
She nodded.
Leaving her was hard, but I knew Grey waited. I found him just outside the door with Mary. She slipped back inside.
“I checked with Winifred and Jean. Those three who showed up were the only ones to respond to their call for a new Elder.”
“If that was all our race had to offer for leadership and protection, we have no hope.”
He agreed.
“We need another Elder. Jean needs to stay in Europe to protect the few who still remain over there. Winifred is needed here and strongly believes she best serves us by continuing to integrate herself into the human world. We need an Elder here, at sanctuary, if we plan to stay.”
“You’re right. Do you have recommendations?”
“Yes,” he said, suddenly more serious than I’d ever seen him. “Me.”
Grey’s words cut deep. But, he gripped me tight and hugged me like he hadn’t done since I was a cub.
I’m not leaving you when you need me most. I’m becoming strong enough to help you. Will you release me from your pack?
I wrapped my arms around him, a farewell to the life we’d known together.
It won’t be the same without you in my head, I sent him.
It won’t be forever. I’ll be back in there some day.
Maybe. If everything went well. But it would never be the same.
I release you. Carefully, I freed his link. The spot felt bare and unnatural as he slipped away from me. How many times had I used our connection to speak to him? Years of private conversations. Gone. No more.
Relaxing my hold, I stepped back.
His gaze held mine for a long moment, then he nodded and took off at a run. I stayed there until he disappeared from sight then turned away.
Needing to distract myself, I helped Hem build more window covers until the rest of the pack returned with a large deer. They skinned it in the clearing, then Gregory brought the meat inside. Ash’s comments, meant to provoke me, fell on deaf ears.
The weight of leadership rested on my shoulders, and I wouldn’t let him take away Grey’s sacrifice. So I continued to work and command the resistant ones to help. During that time, Ash found two more to recruit. They weren’t as objectionable as the others, but without Grey’s link to steady me, I felt the weight of them.
Using the need to check on the females as a reason to leave, I went inside.
“Two more,” I said to Charlene and Mary, hoping there would be enough food.
“I think you should start saying no,” Charlene said.
“If I do, it will only make those already in the pack more resistant.” I sat at the table and watched Mary cut up the remaining hunks of meat.
Charlene moved to sit across from me.
“I thought the leader of the pack could give any command and it would have to be obeyed. Can’t you just command them to stop struggling against you and cooperate?”
“I can’t command them to give up their freedom of will. I can remove certain choices, but ultimately, they have to be willing to obey and concede to my command. If they aren’t, they can ask to leave the pack and become Forlorn.”
“Wait. I thought you said if they didn’t obey, they could shake the pack apart.”
“A voluntary and agreed upon leaving doesn’t hurt the whole pack. It’s the willful resistance of many that can break a pack.”
“Wini says it’s nature’s way of ensuring it’s possible to mutiny against a bad leader,” Mary said.
“Could Winifred ask them to obey?” Charlene asked.
I shook my head.
“Elders can make rules and laws to bind the will of all of our kind, but only when they are in our best interest.”
Talking about Elders made my heart heavy, and I wondered how far Grey had already traveled.
“Who decides what’s in your best interest?” Charlene asked.
“The Elders.”
“So two people decide the fate of your race?” she said.
“Yes,” I said. For now. Grey would make three if he succeeded.
“Winifred wants me to point out they are trying to find more,” Mary said, showing she was still communicating everything with Winifred.
But they weren’t having luck. Grey was giving up a chance at ever finding a Mate to protect me.
“You have to keep saying yes until the pack shakes apart, then,” Charlene said.
“I’m hoping they run out of recruits before it becomes more than I can manage.” But it was already close.
Charlene tapped her fingers on the table thoughtfully and then stilled. Her gaze met mine, and I saw worry there before she carefully masked it.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
“Yes. Fine. Dinner will be ready in a few hours.” She stood and went back to the stove. However, her shoulders were tense and her scent sour. I got up and followed her. She knew I stood behind her but didn’t turn. Setting my hands on her shoulders, I leaned in so my mouth was near her ear.
“Did you know we can sense lies?” I said softly.
“Yes
, I believe that was mentioned already.”
“Then why do you keep lying to me?”
“Telling you I’m fine won’t always mean I’m fine. Sometimes it might mean I’m not fine but don’t want to talk about it,” she said.
Mary started giggling behind us.
“Wini says you might want to take notes, Thomas. This wisdom is universal for females of all races. She also says ‘It’s fine’ has several meanings. If you’ve done something for us, and we say, ‘It’s fine’ that means you should go away so we can just do it the right way ourselves.”
I heaved a sigh.
“Must you share everything with Winifred?”
“She likes me keeping her up to date. I get cookies,” Mary said.
Thomas, Gregory sent me. You’re needed. Ash managed to find another recruit.
* * * *
I sat in the dark and leaned back against the door. The ache in my head hadn’t gotten better as I’d hoped. The mutts were still awake and jerking at the connection.
The soft sounds of Charlene breathing kept me company as I waited for them to grow tired of their game and wander off to find a place in the woods to sleep.
A scuffle of noise came from the roof. I stared up, listening. Three were up there. I heard a wooden crack.
Any damage made to the building must be repaired by the one causing the damage. I sent the command out to the whole pack and felt the sting of their immediate resistance.
Charlene sat up, and I looked at her. She shook her head and held out her hand, beckoning me.
“Leave it,” she said.
Was she inviting me to lay with her?
Mary stirred slightly in her bed, reminding me we weren’t alone.
Forgetting the pain in my head, I stood and went to Charlene. I touched her warm hand and she squeezed my fingers gently. Then, she moved over and patted the mattress. My heart started to race. Her pale blue eyes lit with humor as a slow smiled stretched her lips.
She arched her brow and patted the mattress again. Open invitation lit her eyes. Afraid she would change her mind, I quickly lay beside her. She stared down at me, her pale hair cascading over her shoulder. The sight tempted me but not as much as the way her gaze skimmed over my chest.
With Mary in the room, I knew Charlene wasn’t inviting more than my presence.