Thaddeus padded towards the chicken coops.
‘I still don’t like it.’ Virginia prowled anxiously backwards and forwards by the gate. ‘It feels like a trap.’
Thaddeus ignored her. A string of drool hung from his mouth. He could smell chicken. They were here! It was simply a matter of choosing which coop to start on.
Just then the door of one of the coops opened. Thaddeus swung round.
SPLAT! Something soggy hit him in the eye. Egg yolk dripped down his whiskers onto his waistcoat. He wiped it off with a paw and licked it. If the chickens thought they could stop him by throwing a few soggy eggs at him they were very much mistaken.
Another door opened. Thaddeus just had time to glimpse a young chicken take aim at him with another missile before it banged shut again. He dodged.
SPLAT! The second soggy egg landed harmlessly at his feet.
‘Is that all you’ve got?’ he guffawed.
‘Nope,’ a voice said. A third door opened. And a fourth. And a fifth. All of a sudden doors were opening and closing everywhere. Thaddeus felt confused. He didn’t know where to look. Soggy eggs rained down on him. SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! Very soon his fur and waistcoat were covered in sticky egg yolk. It was up his nose. It was in his whiskers. It was in his fur. He felt like he’d been bathed in glue.
‘Prepare nettle egg bombs,’ shouted a second voice.
Nettle egg bombs?! What on earth were they?
‘Fire!’
Thaddeus found himself facing a second wave of missiles.
‘Ow!’ he yelped as the first one hit. ‘Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!’ He twitched and jumped as the nettle egg bombs hit him. The pain couldn’t have been worse if he’d lain down in a bed of stinging nettles and rolled around in it for an hour.
There was a brief pause.
‘You had enough?’ another voice yelled.
‘No!’ Thaddeus yelped. ‘It barely hurts, so there.’ He dragged himself towards the nearest coop.
‘Okay then, you asked for it. Commence operation brick-egg bomb!’
From out of the orchard flew three chickens wearing flight-booster engines. Beneath them trailed three backpacks.
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
The brick egg bombs rained down. One hit Thaddeus on the snout, making him go cross-eyed. Another hit him on the tail, giving him a nasty bruise. Several more hit him on the head, making him see stars.
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
The brick egg bombs pelted down thick and fast.
‘We’re under attack!’ Virginia Fox Diamond shouted. ‘I’m out of here!’ She wriggled back under the gate and disappeared at a smart pace in the direction of Cluckbridge.
‘Coward!’ Thaddeus shouted after her. ‘I never fancied you anyway!’
The three airborne chickens landed in the yard.
‘You!’ Thaddeus snarled. It was Professor Rooster’s elite chicken squad.
‘Do you give up yet?’ Amy asked.
‘I’ll never give up!’ Thaddeus snarled. ‘Never, ever, ever, ever!’
‘Okay,’ Amy said, ‘if you’re sure.’
‘Ant egg bombs to the ready!’ Ruth commanded.
‘Follow it up with the flies!’ ordered Boo.
The three chickens took off again.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
Thaddeus ducked and dodged. Eggs were exploding all around him. And they were full of horrible creepy crawlies. ‘Nooooo!’ he screamed. Hundreds of flies buzzed in his ears. Thousands of ants crawled into his fur. They were after the sticky yolk from the soggy eggs. Thaddeus felt like a bear that had been bathed in honey and was being pursued by bees. He had to find some water to immerse himself in. He had to!
‘I need water!’ he shrieked.
‘The river’s that way,’ Amy said, pointing him across the orchard.
‘And don’t think about coming back,’ Ruth threatened, ‘unless you want us to do it all again.’
‘Aarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.’ Thaddeus raced off.
The chickens waited until his cries faded into the distance.
‘Okay everyone, you can come out now!’ Amy said.
The doors to the chicken coops opened. The chickens flocked out, rejoicing.
‘That was so cool!’ Amy’s friends punched the air.
Amy hugged them. ‘You were amazing.’ She glanced at Boo and Ruth. ‘We’d better fill the professor in. He’ll be wondering what’s going on.’
The chickens crowded into the barn. Amy’s dad had rigged up an old laptop so that they could watch repeats on the Bird Broadcasting Corporation. But this time when the screen fizzled into life it was Professor Rooster who came on the monitor. ‘I just heard from Poultry Patrol about the battery farm plot,’ he said. ‘Is everything under control?’
‘Yes, Professor,’ Amy reassured him. ‘Everything’s fine. Cleopatra and all her eggs are on their way back to the City Zoo. And I don’t think we’ll be seeing any more of those foxes for a while thanks to my friends here.’
Everyone cheered.
Professor Rooster smiled. His elite chicken squad had pulled it off after all. He would try to have more faith in them next time. ‘Well done, everyone,’ he said. ‘Chicken mission accomplished. Maybe you do deserve a holiday after all.’
Three days later at Cluckbridge City Zoo the head zookeeper was in his office reading the newspaper.
Following Cleopatra’s surprise return to the City Zoo in a rocket-propelled suitcase two days ago, police have confirmed that thirty-six eggs have since been returned. The eggs were contained in individual padded egg boxes and sent to the City Zoo by post. Police are appealing for witnesses to help trace the persons responsible but so far no one has come forward.
There was a knock at the door.
The head zookeeper put down the newspaper. ‘Come in,’ he said.
A woman entered dressed in a keeper’s uniform. She was carrying a cardboard box.
‘Ah, Cynthia, it’s you.’ Cynthia was the name of Cleopatra’s keeper. ‘Sit down.’
‘Thanks, sir.’ Cynthia took a seat.
‘How’s Cleopatra?’ asked the head zookeeper.
‘Moody,’ said Cynthia. ‘She had another pop at me this morning. Sunk her fangs right into my glove.’
The head zookeeper shivered. He didn’t know how Cynthia could be so cheerful about it. ‘What were you doing putting your hand anywhere near her anyway? I’ll have Health and Safety on to me next,’ he said.
‘Because she shed her skin last night and I thought I’d better show it to you,’ Cynthia replied. She opened the box, withdrew the skin and laid it on the desk.
‘It’s full of tacks,’ the head zookeeper observed.
‘I know and that’s not all,’ Cynthia said. ‘She regurgitated these. We found them in the suitcase.’ She took out a very small umbrella and a soggy cardboard carton.
‘Goodness!’ said the head zookeeper. ‘Burt’s Burp Powder! What was she eating that for?’
Cynthia giggled. ‘Maybe she didn’t read the label.’
The head zoo-keeper regarded her sternly.
‘Stop it, Cynthia. There’s no need to be facetious. Was there anything else?’
‘The suitcase had wing marks on it,’ Cynthia said. ‘And it also contained a large magnet and some brown and grey chicken feathers.’
‘What does that tell us?’
‘I have absolutely no idea. Unless Cleopatra was tricked by some very clever chickens.’ Cynthia giggled again.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ the head zookeeper snapped. ‘This is no laughing matter.’
‘Sorry, sir.’
‘What about Cleopatra’s eggs? Do you know how many she was supposed to lay?’
‘Thirty-six,’ Cynthia said. ‘We X-rayed her before she escaped.’
‘So they’re all accounted for.’ The head zookeeper let out a sigh of relief.
‘No, sir,’
Cynthia corrected him. ‘We’re one short.’
‘What do you mean we’re one short?’ the head zookeeper exploded. ‘It says in the paper thirty-six eggs have been returned.’
‘Thirty-six eggs have been returned,’ said Cynthia. ‘But one of them isn’t a cobra egg.’
‘What is it then?’
‘A chicken egg.’
‘You mean …?’
Cynthia nodded. ‘I’m afraid so, sir. One of Cleopatra’s eggs is still missing.’
The head zookeeper put his head in his hands. ‘I’m finished!’ he sobbed.
Cynthia patted his shoulder. ‘Don’t worry, sir, it’s not as bad as you think. The egg won’t hatch unless it’s incubated. So unless someone deliberately switched it for the chicken egg, everything’s fine!’
‘And what are the chances of that happening, do you think?’ the zookeeper asked anxiously.
‘About the same as a chicken tricking a queen cobra snake,’ Cynthia reassured him. She packed up the bits and pieces and left the room.
Phew! Thought the head zookeeper. That’s a relief! There was absolutely nothing to worry about. He picked up his paper and turned to the Sudoku.
About the Author
Jennifer Gray lives in London and Scotland with her husband, four children and a friendly but enigmatic cat. Her other work includes the Atticus Claw series and the Guinea Pigs Online books, co-written with Amanda Swift. The first book in the Atticus series, Atticus Claw Breaks the Law, was shortlisted for the Waterstone’s Children’s Book Prize and won the 2014 Red House Children’s Book Award – Younger Readers category.
By the Same Author
Atticus Claw Breaks the Law
Atticus Claw Settles a Score
Atticus Claw Lends a Paw
Atticus Claw Goes Ashore
Atticus Claw Learns to Draw
Atiticus Claw on the Misty Moor
Atticus Claw Hears a Roar
Chicken Mission: Danger in the Deep Dark Wood
Chicken Mission: Curse of Fogsham Farm
Chicken Mission: Chaos in Cluckbridge
To Peter, David, Paul and John
With special thanks to all at Faber
Copyright
First published in 2016
by Faber & Faber Limited
Bloomsbury House
74–77 Great Russell Street
London WC1B 3DA
This ebook edition first published in 2016
Typeset by Crow Books
All rights reserved
Text © Jennifer Gray, 2016
Cover and internal illustrations © Hannah George, 2016
The right of Jennifer Gray to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly
A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library
978–0571–29832-7
Chicken Mission: Chaos in Cluckbridge Page 9