© 2020 Dacia M Arnold
daciamarnold.com
All Rights Reserved.
ISBN: 9781732587069 (paperback)
ISBN: 9781732587076 (ebook)
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Cover Art by Christian Bentulan
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Edited by Lindsay Flanagan
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Proofread by Jamie Kassik
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This is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and situations
within its pages and places or persons, living or dead, is unintentional and
coincidental.
ALSO BY DACIA M ARNOLD
REACTANCEAugust 2018
Apparent Power December 2018
Shifting PowerNovember 2019
Subject Alpha 1February 2020
Taking PowerNovember 2020
Other Works by Dacia M Arnold:
The Brightest FireflyMay 2019
To my badass hard-working self.
You don’t give yourself enough credit for your hustle.
Stop second guessing yourself and keep on building this dream!
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Preview: Subject 1 Alpha
About the Author
Acknowledgments
Valerie never wanted to be a world leader. She wanted to be a mom, a wife, a nurse.
She would hand over the Facility and the entire Central United States Rebellion to August in a second if she trusted he would leave her alone, but she did not. She hardly trusted anyone. Valerie was a symbol of hope worldwide, yet all she wanted to do was save her son and what family she had left. Four months did little to heal the wounds of her situation. And during those four months, a baby girl continued to grow in her womb, threatening her life and sanity. Four months since the Denver Massacre and the loss of her husband.
Most days, Valerie went on, feeling far beyond the point of no return. Other days, she played with thoughts of running away. Four more months of pregnancy and she would no longer rely on August’s magnetic compatibility to survive the polar rejection of her daughter’s same positive charge, the inherited effects the DiaZem gene she passed to her little girl.
Valerie sat at the kitchenette table staring at nothing. As long as these kids are safe, she thought, my happiness can wait.
“How’d you sleep? You look like crap.” Hyka said, letting herself into the hotel suite Valerie was assigned upon her arrival to the Facility earlier in the year. An accommodation she never intended to be permanent.
“You know, I mostly just lay there as still as I can, trying not to breathe or think. Try not to exist at all.” She waited for Hyka’s reaction and was pleasantly met with none. Had she truly anticipated any outward judgments from her, she would have lied and said she slept fine. “I don’t want to die. I just want to float into a place where I am numb. I don’t want to be so broken or torn. I used to love being challenged, but at this point, I think the universe has overdone it.”
The master bedroom door slammed. Valerie jumped. Hyka did little more than turn her head to the sound.
“Who’s here?” Hyka asked, making short work of the distance to the room. The handle turned, but the door didn’t open. She then tried a shoulder, but she couldn’t get the thing to budge.
“Is there a master key? Should I try?” Valerie offered, knowing Hyka was more capable than herself.
“Knock yourself out. Not literally, but you’re welcome to fail.” Hyka made way and held her arms to present the obstacle to her boss.
Valerie reached for the knob. Electricity erupted from the metal handle, and the door flung open. A force burst from the room, knocking Hyka on her backside. Then the room was silent. Still.
“The duck was that?” Hyka said, recovering to her feet.
“The f-word is completely appropriate in this instance, but thank you for minding your language,” Valerie said, making jokes to calm her nerves. “I’m fine. Are you okay? Must have been a power surge? I haven’t had anything like this happen since the beginning. Oh my goodness, Hyka. What if there is another Awakening?”
“Doubtful. I don’t know what would be left to awaken. I’ll check with the control room to see if they picked anything up on surveillance while you’re with Dr. Dominguez checking on that baby.”
“Ugh,” Valerie forgot about her now-weekly appointments with the resident obstetrician.
“I can’t help but notice you’ve done nothing to prep this place. Shouldn’t you be cleaning everything like a madwoman? Planning a baby shower?”
“I’m as excited for this baby as I would be for a bilateral leg amputation.” This was an easy admittance.
Hyka was silent, undoubtedly making sense of the statement. “You should just pour yourself into your job then and not think about her getting here at all. Sounds like a very healthy coping mechanism, Val.”
“I hate my job just as much. I was never meant to do any of this.”
“Walk and talk. You’ll be late,” Hyka ordered and held the door open for Valerie. “Go back to your old job then.”
“My nursing career was a lifetime ago,” Valerie laughed, knowing Hyka wasn’t serious. The mental image of her managing the moving parts of multiple medical teams working together to save lives was vivid. Knowing everyone’s role in the department and trusting each person to perform under pressure gave her a rush. The emergency room was like a machine, and she had been the heart of the engine.
“Is being a charge nurse much different from the sound decisions demanded of a government leader? You’re just keeping a larger group of people alive. You’re a natural.”
“We’re on the brink of war. Neither side understands their own capabilities, much less the others’ weapons. I’m not a military general; I’m a mom and a terrible one at that.”
“Shut up. Caleb loves it here. You’ve remodeled the hotel into a kid’s dream home. You’re cra
zy to think you haven’t done everything you could for him. Making the most of a shitty situation doesn't make you a horrible mother. Ditching your husband and kid and disappearing without a trace makes you a horrible mother. My mom sucks. Compared to her, you’re a saint.”
“I wasn’t referring to Caleb.” Valerie took a deep breath and wrung her hands together, trying to gather herself as she walked. The undesirable effects of the DiaZem gene were still difficult to articulate. “I hate the thoughts I have. . . I don’t want this baby,” she whispered, throat dry with fear. There was a risk with speaking the words out loud. Valerie stared straight, knowing Hyka’s unchanging expression would give no hint of judgment.
When Hyka nodded with understanding, Valerie continued. “I’m the worst person. She’s my sweet baby girl, but I hate her. If she wasn’t the last physical piece of Scott, I know I would’ve ended the pregnancy months ago. I am a monster. I don’t deserve to be a mom.”
Hyka stopped walking. “You can differentiate what these feelings are because of the DiaZem gene and not because you’re a horrible person. Your head and your body might be at odds, but you’ve been making the right choices despite how you feel about them. Even General Population women struggle with pregnancy without the complications of your situation. Your magnetic charges repel each other. Not your fault. Making the choice to continue with the pregnancy and keeping yourself healthy means that somewhere you can recognize those thoughts don’t reflect who you are as a mom. And in no way do they reflect your ability to lead.”
Valerie nodded and wiped the tears streaming down her face.
“Stop crying. Someone will see you.”
A harsh command to anyone else, but Valerie laughed.
“How are you and August getting along outside of business hours? You going to tell him about putting your baby up for adoption? Or about whatever the hell happened this morning with the exploding door? Might want to start somehow working on this Queen/ King relationship.”
“Oh, are you offering to adopt her then? Though, right now that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Besides, August and I don’t have anything remotely approaching a relationship. I hide from him every time I sense him coming close to me. You know how I all of the sudden have to pee? Well, sometimes I do have to pee, but most of the time it’s because I know he’s coming and I’m just avoiding him.” Valerie giggled, admitting her childish tactics. “I still don’t trust what I feel for him is genuine. It’s not fair to Caleb or the memory of Scott to give in and fall in love with someone else. This whole dreadful situation is pushing me to be with him, and deep down, I don’t accept I can love him. It’s torture to consider I’m forced to be with a man I don’t love. I loved Scott. I want Scott.”
“A fling could be a good distraction, though.” Hyka shrugged. “Even if you have no intention of keeping him around, he’s the one man who could offer a safe diversion from all your official responsibilities. Maybe he can counteract what you have going on with your baby.”
“Seems like being with August is an official responsibility.”
“What do you think will happen if you keep this up?”
Valerie shrugged. “I’m waiting for him to change his mind, get tired of sticking around, and take off.”
“You’re scared he’ll leave you, and so you drive him away to reinforce what you think is inevitable? Also, if it never occurs, then what? At what moment would you work to be content with where you are and who you’re with?”
“My hormones and the relentless desire to rip this child from my womb are keeping me from ever wanting to be happy.” The words sounded exaggerated, but she felt them to her core. “It’s easier to concentrate on my obligations. I immerse myself in working out the regional problems and avoid obsessing about how I’m failing at everything. I could volunteer for the Pacific DiaZem Fleet and use my DiaZem magic to secure international trade routes for the rebellion without people assuming I abandoned them. My choices are to be here and live in the public eye or banish myself to a boat in the middle of the ocean. I want none of this, and being pregnant just drives me to hate everyone.”
“Remind yourself those emotions are not real.”
“Just like the feelings I have for August aren’t real.”
“But those feelings don’t threaten to destroy you.”
“Don’t they? Have you ever been forced into a relationship? It does something to your mind. Imagine not loving someone but having no choice but to stay. It will kill me to leave, but I’m a hostage to this relationship and couldn’t leave if I wanted to. Courtney—thank goodness she found me after the incident at the checkpoint—and her PR department paint this beautiful picture of August and me leading together, but there are so many rumors already flying around about the relationship. I know people think this is his kid. I know what they say when I’m not around.”
“They say you’re the matriarch of our time.”
“A matriarch who hates her own child.”
There was a silence between the women. The weight of having her deepest secrets let out of her body was a relief for Valerie. Hyka was far more than her personal assistant. She was Valerie’s best friend and sounding board. She wondered why it took months for her to gather the courage to let Hyka know how hard she was struggling. There was a palpable shift in the air. Something was on the brink of changing. Valerie could feel it in the space around her.
“Pregnancy depression is common. Throw relationship issues, loss, and all kinds of life changes on top of rebuilding a life, and it’s remarkable how strong you are to make it this far. I’m not just saying that. Things are calming down, and threats from the Council have gone to about once a month. You can relax a little. Give yourself some grace to laugh. Try not to let the past haunt you. Now walk. You’re going to be late. I don’t get paid if you’re late.”
“Do I even pay you?” Valerie laughed.
Jack McGuire met them in the hotel common area, having already picked up Caleb for breakfast. A covered plate awaited Valerie, and a single black cup of coffee sat across the table for Hyka. Hyka gave Jack a curt nod, and Valerie covered a smile. Her closest confidantes kept their romantic relationship discreet, despite their association being common knowledge around the Facility. Jack winked at Hyka and clicked his tongue. Hyka was much better in the ways of discretion.
“Looks like you’re storing more energy than usual today,” Eric “Duke” Earl snickered as Valerie scooted her chair back twice before fitting her still-small pregnant belly to the table.
“A DiaZem fat joke? And ‘storing more energy’ is what you come up with?” Jack answered his old friend.
The Awakening of the DiaZem gene kept any suggestion of additional baby weight from sticking around. She was not fat, and the growing baby girl inside her only gave a slight hint beneath the long blouse she smoothed out with a tug. If her glare was a knife, Duke would be thoroughly flayed.
Hate was a strong word Valerie reserved for the man who killed her husband, though the man mocking was a walking reminder of why Scott was not there. Each person in the Facility had their own means of surviving the wake of Lucas Jarrett’s destruction. The former dictator had assigned Duke to be August’s personal assistant. August kept him around after his previous boss’ demise. She imagined the two men had a similar relationship as she and Hyka, but Valerie felt she was a better judge of character. He was a family friend before the Awakening—a family who betrayed her—and Duke knew well his standing with the Queen DiaZem.
“Where is August?” Valerie ignored the stab at her physique.
“He’s sleeping. Said he’d be down after lunch.” Duke did not look up from buttering his toast.
Valerie had converted the hotel lobby at the Denver International Airport into a large common area for the residents who remained. The hotel tenants were limited to her closest trusted friends, Dr. August Wilkes—her DiaZem partner—and Duke. August's suite was in the opposite wing as Valerie's. It was as far away as he could be within the
hotel. As long as they both stayed within the Facility, the circuit technology running throughout the five-square-mile underground city would keep their energies connected. Valerie relied on the constant flow of energy for survival.
“I put in your breakfast order.” Jack spoke from the other side of the table, cleaning up spilled milk around Caleb’s breakfast bowl. “The kitchen refused to make your eggs over-easy. They’re on strict orders from Dr. Dominguez with your diet. She says raw eggs are bad for the baby.”
“Thank you for advocating.” Valerie rolled her eyes as she lifted the silver lid from the plate of hard scrambled eggs with a side cup of deep red cherries. “I would put money on the fact my immune system would fight off any kind of potential food poisoning before I even knew anything was the matter.” She forced a few bites but was not hungry.
There were no other reported cases of a DiaZem pregnancy since the Awakening. Her particular genetics allowed her to heal and regenerate from injury, but Dr. Dominguez urged her to not partake in behavior deemed risky to traditional pregnancy. Valerie’s lack of emotional attachment to the baby was a careful consideration. She often over-compensated in the ways of safety, but never compromised on her one-allowed coffee per day. Valerie did, however, find it frustrating the way everyone treated her. Leaving a middle-class suburban life, she became a worldwide celebrity overnight. The small community within the Facility doted over her every move. The only one who treated her like a normal person was Hyka because Hyka lacked the ability to dote on anyone.
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