An Earl For Hire

by Bethany M. Sefchick

  "Lady Colchester." He bowed stiffly. "Delightful to see you again." Actually, it was anything but delightful though he could not say such a thing while they were in public.

  "Lord Blackthorne," she tittered and he wondered if she knew how much she looked a fool. He also wondered if she had somehow tracked him down. Knowing her, that was extremely likely. "Charming as ever I see. I had not heard from you in quite some time. I had hoped we might renew our acquaintance soon." There was no question what she meant.

  Taking a step backward, Will did his best to put some distance between the two of them. "I think not, my lady. I am about to become betrothed. Though the news is not public knowledge yet, it will be by tomorrow." He doubted that news of his pending marriage would be enough to put off such a harpy, but he had to at least try. Though if she had no respect for her own marriage vows, Will had no idea why he thought she would respect his impending ones.

  "Pish. That is nothing. Just because a gentleman takes a bride that does not end his need for cash. If anything, it increases it. Wives are expensive, you know." She graced him with a saucy wink and all but shoved her breasts in his face. Will suddenly felt the need to cast up his accounts.

  "I think not, my lady." Another step backwards and he almost tripped over a small, tasseled ottoman. Where the devil had that thing come from? And where was Madame LaVallier? "I would not cheat on my wife. Ever. There will be no mistresses or any other flirtations. I will be faithful to her and her alone."

  "You can't be serious? You? A strong, virile man faithful to a mouse like Miri Bexley? You are meant for better." She eyed him lasciviously just as she had the night in the library. "You were meant for my bedchambers. And for Marcel. He might be a molly, but he has a rather impressive cock and isn't afraid to use it wherever he might find pleasure. I think you would come to...enjoy his attentions him in time."

  Will glowered at the woman, wishing that someone - anyone - would appear and remove this horrible creature from his sight. "I said no. I will not. I am not that man. I never was."

  The lady laughed as if she hadn't heard a word he had said. Likely, she hadn't. "Of course you are, darling! Men like you never change your spots. Not really. You might think you do, but you don't. Still, to salvage your pride, I shall double my initial offer. No, make that triple. I have spent weeks describing you in great detail to Marcel and he is eager to meet you."

  "Lady Colchester, I will ask you to leave now." This time, it was Will who took a step forward. He had never hit a woman but he supposed there was always a first time for everything. "I am not what you think I am and never will be."

  "Yes, you are, pet. You are a whore desperate for money." She patted his hand in what he believed she viewed as a comforting manner, even though it came across as rather condescending. He needed to get her out of her and shut her up now. Before word of this leaked out. Before Miri arrived. "Just as you were weeks ago. Nothing has changed, of course, not even the fact that you believe you will wed that mouse. Oh, you might, certainly, but that will not change who you are at your core." She narrowed her eyes. "You are an impoverished earl who several weeks ago was ready to all but beg me to allow him into my bed in exchange for coin. Nothing has changed, my lord. Not really. You are only fooling yourself if you believe that something has."

  "No," Will tried again but this time, the woman pushed away from him, cutting him off before he could speak

  "Still, I suppose if we are going to do this, it must be before your wedding then, hadn't it?" She dug into her reticule as if she hadn't been listening to him at all. She hadn't been. Her mind was clearly already made up. "My calling card. There is a short saying written on the back. Give this to my butler. He will take care of the rest when you come to attend to Marcel and me." Lady Colchester sniffed and then batted her eyes at his in a rather disgusting display. "Don't be late, lover. This is your last chance." Then she turned and prepared to depart the salon only to run directly into Miri.

  When Miri stumbled backwards, Will reached for her, but she managed to catch herself on a table before shaking off his touch and sending him a murderous glance.

  "This is how you paid for my telescope?" Miri demanded, her face flushed with anger. "You whored yourself out to this...this...harlot and her friends? You would take a man to bed as well? Are you that desperate for funds? I thought we were beyond that! I thought you loved me!"

  "Miri, no!" Will protested, but he could tell from the expression in her eyes that it was too late to explain. He had no idea how much she had heard of his exchange with Lady Colchester, but she had clearly heard enough of the wrong things to become all mixed up. Especially as Sarah had likely been whispering in her ear again. Over time, it would wear anyone down. "Miri, I love you, and I did not and would not do this. I swear to you. You know that I would not."

  From her position near the door, Lady Colchester smirked nastily. "Has he bedded you yet, sweetheart? If he hasn't, pay him double your offer so that he will. He really is fabulous. And worth every penny. Especially if he can get you with child like he did my friend's daughter." To Will's horror, the woman winked. Then she turned and sauntered off, leaving a stunned Will and a furious Miri behind.

  "Is this why you didn't need my money, Will?" Miri turned on him the moment Lady Colchester was gone, anger and pain flaring in her eyes. "You didn't need it because you were whoring yourself? Did you lie to me? Was Sarah right all along? I didn't believe her but maybe she saw something I couldn't. After all, she has experience in these matters, and I don't. Did you take pity on me, Will? Was that it? Was any of it true? Or was this all a game to you, trying to make me feel, to fall in love with you before you broke me?"

  Reaching for her, Will managed to grasp Miri's shoulders before she slipped away from him. He had to make her see reason. Her old fears were blinding her to the truth, and if he could not change her mind, she would be lost to him. "Miri, again, no. You know me. You love me. I thought you trusted me. Lady Colchester is lying! I have never been with her and I have certainly never whored myself to her or her friends! I said I would die before I hurt you and I meant that. Please. Believe me. Once I fell in love with you, I could have never betrayed you like that!"

  However, Miri, clearly already doubting him for some reason, refused to be swayed. "Then where did the money to buy the Euler come from, Will?" she demanded. "Or did I buy my own gift like some pathetic little wallflower that you took pity on? How many women were you bedding while you were professing your love to me?"

  Unable to help himself and anger now blinding him, Will pushed Miri away from him, though not hard enough to make her fall. Despite the fact that he was furious with her for her lack of trust in him, he still loved her. He would never hurt her, even when she was slicing his heart to ribbons with her words. Did she truly think so little of him? Obviously she did.

  "Is that what you truly think of me, Miri?" Will felt icy fingers clawing at his heart as he listened to the woman he adored hurtle insults at him. He felt sick inside and even worse when he looked at Miri, her face a twisted mask of hurt and pain. And anger. So much anger. "Do you trust me so little that you think I would stick my cock in the likes of her? If you do think that, then perhaps you don't trust me at all!"

  He was out of control now and he knew it. When he turned back to Miri, she blanched and shied away from him, as if fearful he would strike her. He wouldn't and she knew that, but then he was so much bigger than she was. Miri had not enjoyed pleasant experiences with men before. It would not surprise him to learn that one or more of the bastards had struck her.

  "Don't you trust me, love?" he asked again, quieter now, the fight draining out of him as he watched her lower lip tremble in fear - of him. God. The last thing he wanted was for her to be afraid of him. The very notion took his anger and turned the emotion into gut-wrenching pain and anguish. "Please, Miri. You know I would never betray you like that. I love you. You know me. You know more of me than any other woman every has. I have bared my soul and my body
to you. I would never betray you. I would rather die myself than do that. You know this."

  "Perhaps I don't." Miri was crying now as she wobbled against her cane. Will wanted to reach for her but he didn't dare. She wouldn't welcome his touch at the moment. "I loved you, Will, and you do this to me? How could you?" She raised a hand in the air. "The money for the Euler? You being here this morning when I suspect from Madame's note that Anna is ordering more gowns than she should? All of Sarah's warnings? The little voice in my head asking me if what we shared was even real? How a strong, virile, handsome man like you could fall in love with cold, frigid, unlovely me? Unless, of course, you simply wanted my fortune. And then I come in here to see you agreeing to Lady Colchester's disgusting proposal? What am I to think? What else can I think other than that you really are the prostitute you once told me you were going to become?"

  Will's heart was shattered. He closed his eyes in a vain attempt to shut out the sight of Miri's tear-streaked face and mitigate the pain that ripped through his body just then. Her words struck deep into his soul, breaking him completely. If she could believe these lies, could believe him capable of such treachery and deception, then perhaps she never really knew him at all. Never understood him. Never trusted him. Never loved him. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps this had all been a lie. But on her part. Not his.

  He sighed brokenly, knowing that he was on the verge of losing her forever. Miri was hurt and she was accusing him of things that, deep inside, she knew he would never actually do. She was attempting to hurt him before he hurt her. And he had no idea how to reach her or make her see reason. He didn't think he even could. So he did not bother to try.

  "Whatever you wish to think, Miri. You are the scientist, not I. And if that is what you believe you saw here just now, then it was." He could tell she would not listen to a word he said at the moment. Maybe later when she had calmed down, if she allowed him to even get close to her again. But not now. She was so accustomed to being let down and used, so fearful of a man caring for her only because of her fortune that she was using any excuse to flee rather than be happy. Once more, she was afraid and she was allowing that fear - coupled with Sarah's intense dislike of him - to rule her.

  Will was desperate to reach Miri's heart somehow, to make her understand. But she wouldn't listen. Not without some sort of proof otherwise, which he didn't have at the moment. No, the cold, emotionless Miri was taking over again and the warm, loving woman he had come to know over the last few weeks was disappearing behind that frigid facade once again.

  "So you don't deny it then?" Miri crossed her arms over her breasts as if in an effort to ward him off even though she likely knew if he wanted to harm her, he could easily overpower her. Not that he ever would. Though at the moment, she didn't seem as if she understood that either.

  With a weary sigh, Will leaned against a table, the weight of the betrothal ring in his pocket now feeling more like a boulder than an emerald. "Would it make a difference if I did?" He wasn't certain he wanted to hear her answer.

  A look of what he could only describe as pure sadness mixed with a healthy dose of misery crossed her face. "I know what I heard."

  "Very well, love. As you like." At this moment, there was nothing more Will could say to change her mind. She wasn't listening, shutting out the world just as she had so often in the past so that nothing could hurt her.

  Just as she had the night in the library, she lifted her head then and pinned him with her emerald stare. "So this is the end then?"

  "As you like, Miri. The choice was always yours, even when you believed it wasn't, so as you like. There is nothing I can say to convince you otherwise. Like your brother, you always have to be right." Will felt his heart breaking in his chest but he could do nothing to stop it. Miri was walking out of his life and there was nothing he could do to bring her back. Her mind, so poisoned by Sarah and her heart so afraid of being hurt again or of allowing herself to truly admit she was in love, would also not allow her to listen to reason. He doubted that she ever would again. If she walked away from him now, unless something profoundly moved her, she would never come back to him.

  Will had gambled and he had lost. In that way, he was really no different than his father before him. Only this time, he hadn't gambled away money. Instead, he had gambled away his very soul. And this time, there was no way to get it back.

  "Do not call upon me again, Will," Miri whispered. She was clearly trying for a crisp tone and failing miserably. "I shall refuse you."

  Will hung his head, feeling as if he wished to die, the blackness he had known in the days before her slowly creeping back inside of him and clawing at his soul. "I know." There were so very many things he wished to say, so many things left unspoken between them. Now they never would be spoken. There was no point because Miri would not listen.

  She turned to go then, but before she left, she paused in the doorway. "You can keep the money," she said softly. "For in that, Lady Colchester was right. You were fabulous. And you were worth every penny."

  Then she was gone, leaving only a bead from her gown lying on the floor behind her.

  Never once in all of the time that he had been with Miri had Will ever felt like a prostitute - at least not until that moment.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Miri was uncertain exactly how long she had her coachman drive her aimlessly about London, for just when she thought she had brought her wayward emotions under control, she thought of Will and began crying anew. How could he have done this to her? How could he have broken her heart like this? She had loved and trusted him, only for her to enter and find him with Lady Colchester? It boggled the mind.

  He knew how difficult it had been for her to emerge from her safe little world and to trust him with the truths of her past - everything from Mrs. Witherson's to her precious telescopes. No one entered her world. No one.

  Yet she had allowed Will in - and he had betrayed her in the worst possible way. Was this not more proof that she was right to dislike and distrust people? Or was she not seeing things clearly? If she was not, why hadn't Will fought for her or begged her to listen? Or had he? Miri could no longer quite remember. In fact, the entire incident was now actually something of a muddle.

  She desperately wished for someone to confide in over the matter, someone who might help her sort out her thoughts and apply the logic she so loved to what was a very emotional problem. In the past, she would have turned to Sarah, but she doubted she would find a sympathetic ear there - for reasons that Miri still could not discern. Nor could she turn to her mother, not that the older woman would have likely been of much help anyway. After all, this did not involve a party of any sort. Nor was she even in town any longer.

  Miri's mother Ophelia had decided to leave town for Bath a few days after Miri and Will had begun seriously courting. Her mother had been here in London one day and then gone the next without anything more than a note. It happened so often that Miri hadn't really even noticed her mother was gone at all. Even if she had been in London, there would have been little good advice coming from that corner either. As long as Miri wed, her mother likely didn't care to whom. In fact, Miri could wed Napoleon himself and Ophelia Bexley wouldn't utter a peep so long as her daughter was wed, scandal was avoided, and she could go on her merry way attending and hosting parties until her heart was content.

  That left only one person Miri felt as if she could confide in and at some point in her coach's wanderings she came close to the section of Mayfair where Aunt Beanie resided on occasion. Now that the Season was well underway, the old woman would leave London for the country. In fact, she would have been gone long before now except for the delay in choosing the recipient of The Letter coupled with Aunt Beanie's sudden and peculiar desire to see just how well Lady Anna did for herself now that she had the funds and the sponsorship to launch a successful season.

  For the last several Seasons, Aunt Beanie had been involved in The Letter in name only, leaving all of the details to
Miri. Why the old woman cared now was something of a mystery, but Miri wasn't about to question her remaining in London. It was simply Miri's good fortune that at least one rational and sympathetic ear remained.

  By the time she was ushered into Aunt Beanie's understated drawing room, Miri was cold and hungry even though the sun blazed high in the sky and she had broken her fast not long ago. She also felt empty and used, and it took all of her strength not to burst into tears the moment she saw Aunt Beanie who was sitting in her usual chair beside a roaring fire reading an old Gothic novel in the center of her drawing room.

  When the old woman looked up, Miri felt her lower lip begin to tremble and it took everything Miri had left within her to stand there and wait to be announced. Thankfully, Wilson, her aunt's aged but steadfast butler did not hesitate in his duties.

  "Lady Miri Bexley to see you, my lady," Wilson intoned as Aunt Beanie quickly waved the man away and instructed him to close the doors so that they might have some privacy.

  "Come here, child. Why the tears?" Her aunt's voice was gentle but there was something strong beneath it that indicated the old woman would not put up with any foolishness from her niece. She patted the arm of the chair next to her. "This is not like you, Miri, my darling. You do not fall apart. This is why I trust you to guide The Letter now that I cannot. You are hardly the emotional sort, so I can only assume something is gravely wrong."

  As Miri slowly made her way across the room, feeling as if she would rather be dead, she took in the elderly woman's increasingly frail frame. Where her aunt had once been a force of nature, now she was small and hunched, almost dwarfed by the afghan she had wrapped around her shoulders. Her aunt's once golden blonde hair was now snowy white and was so thin in places that patches of pink scalp showed through. Eyes that had once been a deep brown had paled to the color of whiskey, and her skin was fine and thin like the cheap foolscap that Miri occasionally used to make notes on when she was busy.