by A. J. Pryor
“Yep, We got really drunk, and she jumped me, begged me to take her to bed. And I did.”
“Oh Fuck, man. You really know how to pick ‘em. Hop up, let’s go grab a beer and you can tell me all about it.” Reed stands up and reaches his hand down to mine. I grab it and let him help me to my feet.
“So now what?”
I shrug. “Hell if I know. She slipped out early this morning and the moment I saw her she couldn’t wait to tell me how big of a mistake it was.”
“And you?”
“Reed, I have scratch marks a foot down my back, a raging hard on when my mind so much as drifts in her direction and a pain in my heart the size of Texas. That was no mistake.”
“A little too much information, Dude.” He flinches and takes a swig from his bottle. “Why don’t you tell her?” He looks at me like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
“Like you said, she doesn’t know what she wants. It’s not going to matter what I say.” I take a few gulps of my beer.
Reed nods in acknowledgment. He sighs and takes a sip of his beer, as he sets the bottle down he looks at me.
“If you’re sure she’s your girl, don’t give up on her.”
I give him a curious look. An hour ago he was telling me to run the hell away.
He looks to the side, then back at me. “Remember when I disappeared last year for a few days and you had no idea where I went or why?”
I nod. He’d scared the crap out of me. Fell off the face of the earth for an entire weekend. When he finally surfaced, he looked at me as if it was no big deal he’d simply disappeared. I asked once where he’d been, and he wouldn’t tell me. I hadn’t pushed the issue, he was back, safe and I could once again sleep at night.
“I was chasing a chick. Leslie Sutton. Do you remember her?”
“Blond hair, big blue eyes, and a Texan twang?”
He nods, his eyes going somewhere else for a minute remembering exactly what this girl looks like. “The day before I skipped town she and I spent the whole night together. I was sure it was love, she was sure it wasn’t.”
He suddenly has my full and complete attention. I had never heard this story and had no idea how he’d kept it from me for so long.
“She left the next day for San Diego, had just accepted a job at a small pharmaceutical company. I followed her. Found her in downtown San Diego and begged her to give us a chance. Even long distance. I’d been pining for this girl for so long and every dream I’d ever had about her came to life in the six hours we’d spent together.”
“So what happened, why aren’t you with her?”
He shrugs, “She said no.”
“That’s it? She said no and you just let it go?”
“And that, Damian, is my point exactly. Sometimes I want to kick my own ass. Don’t make me kick yours.” He takes another swig of his beer then fixes his eyes on mine. “I know I’m skeptical of Addison, but I was the one who had to pick your ass up off the ground three years ago. I don’t want to do that again.”
I sit there silently taking in what he just said. “I’m not that same person Reed.”
He nods in understanding. “Fix things with Addison, make her see that sometimes two wrongs make a right.”
I should call in sick today. I’m still not feeling great, but my boss would not be happy. We’ve had a ton of cases lately. I have to go in.
I think about heading in early, avoiding the coffee morning routine that has become our neighborly thing. But, if I do that, the tension that’s already building will become tighter, and it will make it harder to move forward with whatever relationship we can salvage.
I slept for twelve straight hours last night. Falling into bed the minute I knew he was home from the track. I’d heard his shower turn on and finally relaxed under my comforter, content that he was home.
The evidence of our night still marks my skin and I’d be lying to myself if my heart hadn’t been slightly marked as well. It feels as though I left a piece of it behind when I snuck out, and I need to figure out how to get it back. I’m not ready to hand it out just yet.
Opening my cupboard, I carefully look over all the mugs. I pick a plain white ceramic one that says, “I’m a douche” on the bottom. It’s a way of apologizing without having to admit that I was wrong, because at this point, drunk sex with my neighbor wasn’t a good idea, even if it was the best sex I’ve ever experienced.
I’m stirring my milk into my coffee when I hear his front door slam closed. He’s either coming or going and I’m not sure which scenario I’d rather have.
Only one way to find out. Taking a deep slow breath, I calm my racing heart and head out to the balcony, sliding the door to the side and carefully stepping outside. Sitting down in one of my white chairs, I slowly sip my coffee. It’s eerily quiet, and I’m sure he’s ditched me, when his door slides open. I close my eyes and tell my heart to chill; it’s going to be fine.
Opening one eye at a time I find is a big mistake. His hair seems extra messy, his shirt is off and the track shorts he’s wearing are pulled down low on his hips, causing my breath to hitch and my fingers and toes to curl. I know what that skin feels like, I can practically still taste him on my tongue and the desire that’s been here for weeks hasn’t vanished, if anything, it’s stronger.
He’s playing with something in his hand—his coffee cup, that plain black boring one he sometimes uses is abandoned on the table. I can’t see what he’s holding, but suddenly he straightens and turns, his dark eyes intense as they take me in.
“Addison.” It’s an acknowledgement that I’m here. There’s no emotion in his voice, no kind eyes to wish me good morning, no teasing joke about my white mug.
He advances towards me, his hands still busy with whatever he’s holding. I’m cemented in place, slightly afraid, slightly curious but mostly mesmerized by a man who looks the same as Damian, but strangely, seems to be someone else.
Reaching his hand in my direction, I break my eyes away to see what he’s holding. “Can you please put this on my back.”
A deep burning blush crawls over my cheeks as I take the Neosporin from his fingers. “Sure.”
He turns and the angry welts from my nails are healing but look red and painful. A stark reminder that I can call it a mistake all I want, but the cold facts say something different.
The tip of my index finger touches the top of the largest and deepest cut and he stiffens.
“Sorry.”
His back is expanding with each breath he takes, his muscles flexing and relaxing under his smooth olive skin. Gently I slide a lubricated finger down the first mark, the tip of my finger the only part of me touching his skin. He shivers slightly on a large exhale, and I leave my finger at the bottom of that scratch, my hand beginning to shake with the urge to touch him more. To rub my hands over his shoulders and down to his fingers that only days ago made my body tremble and my insides shake.
Standing perfectly erect, he’s barely breathing, as my finger stays put, not in control enough to move on to the other marks.
Inhaling sharply, I remove my finger. The slightest release of his shoulders tells me this is as painful for him as it is for me. I can’t help but wonder if he now considers that night a mistake as well. If it were possible, would he want to erase it from his memory? I continue my first aide on each of the subsequent scratches, his shoulders tense again, and he’s barely breathing, his body wound tightly until I get to the final one. When I’m finished he turns, his eyes softer, his lips slightly parted as he takes the tube from my hand.
“Thanks.” Then he’s gone, and I’m left outside, unease creeping all over my skin.
Work sucks. I can’t concentrate, I have a slight headache, and I’m checking my phone constantly for any text from Damian. I am hoping for an apology for the distant behavior this morning, an invite to the track or a run this afternoon. Anything to let me know we are going to be okay. But my phone stays deafeningly silent. The only incoming messages I’m receiving are from
Paige wanting to know exactly what went down with the sexy neighbor.
Paige: You can’t ignore me forever. I want details.
Me: I’m not ready to talk.
Paige: Mia started talking multiples.
Me: Don’t remind me.
I should have expected this. Damian couldn’t have been clearer that he wasn’t looking for anything easy. He knew I wasn’t ready, told me hours before I begged him that I’d better be prepared for a lot more than just one night. This is entirely my fault.
“Hey, Addison.” I look up to see Veronica Allen in my doorway. She’s the only other female associate in this office and while we’re not exactly friends, we do have each other’s backs. “How was your weekend?” she asks.
“Good, busy. Yours?” I say too quickly hoping she’ll move on from this topic. My weekend is the last thing I want to discuss.
“Fine.” She looks over her shoulder, her red hair falling into her face. “Wanted to warn you Thomas is on a war path this morning and your name was mentioned.”
My shoulders fall forward. I really don’t want to deal with him today.
“Sorry to deliver the bad news.” Her nose scrunches up in genuine sympathy. “I think he wants you to start working on that pro bono case.”
“Ugh, Thanks for the warning.”
“Addison!” Thomas begins shouting through my intercom and I jump.
“Here we go,” I say to Veronica as she nods and takes off.
“I need you in my office.”
Gathering a notepad and pen I make my way down the hall. It’s a small office. Five attorneys in total and two of them are partners. For the most part, I keep to myself, do my job, then go home and have my other life. The one that was pretty pathetic and boring until recently.
I walk in to find Thomas sitting behind his desk, reading some sort of legal brief.
“I need you to go to Children’s hospital today and check on a little girl named Emily Jones. Get a firsthand account on how she’s doing.”
“Sure. Why is she there? Anything I should be aware of before I go?”
He looks back down at his paperwork. “She has cancer and as if her life isn’t shitty enough, she’s also an orphan.”
I gasp, “That’s awful. Is she the case everyone has been working on around here?”
“Yes Addison, of course she’s the case. Now get going, time is money and you’re wasting mine.”
Sometimes I really hate that man.
Pushing Thomas to the back of my mind, I get in my car, knowing this assignment is going to break my heart. Seeing my dad suffer from a terrible disease was crushing, having to visit a child fighting something similar is going to be the end of me.
Starting up my Jeep and hating every second of the drive to Children’s Hospital, I’m sick to my stomach. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to have to see a child in so much pain. I’m not strong enough to deal with it.
Finding the nurse’s station and asking about a little girl named Emily, I’m ushered down a corridor by Susie Springer, a bright-eyed nurse with curly blonde hair who looks like she’s been working here a long time.
She’s leading me to a room at the end of the hall, and the entire two-minute walk down the white corridor feels like it takes an hour.
I hear giggling and my dark mood lifts slightly. “Her room is in the far corner. She has a visitor right now, but he’s set to leave in five minutes. You can go in when he comes out.”
I nod and lean against the wall, waiting my turn as Susie leaves me alone. I’m taken off guard when a deep male voice talking in a gentle tone ripples out of that room.
“Would you rather swim with sharks or killer whales?” he asks.
“That’s too easy. Of course I’d rather swim with the whales. Who wants to swim with a big fish that tries to eat you?”
I smile to myself then peer into the room to see who has this orphaned girl in uncontrollable giggles. It’s impossible to miss the sight of Damian, sitting next to the bed of a little girl who can’t be older than eight. She’s lost her hair and her big blue eyes are round with wonder as his attention is focused solely on her. His feet are propped up on her bed, his shoes off and he looks relaxed and content.
His face lights up in amusement and he belts out a laugh. “Your turn.”
“Would you rather eat a chewed up piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a desk, or lick a dirty diaper?”
“Emily, that’s disgusting.” Damian’s forehead wrinkles with a horrified look, and I stifle a giggle.
Emily. He was going to meet an Emily the first day I’d met him.
“I never said this game was pretty, answer the question.”
“I’d have to say the gum.” The girl coughs and Damian is instantly on his feet, his voice laced with concern. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I just choked on a little of my spit.” His shoulders shake in silent laughter at her honesty. “Can I have another turn?”
Rubbing her back gently, he sits down. “Go for it.”
I’m holding my hand over my mouth trying not to laugh. Damian looks so big compared to this little girl and she’s got him completely wrapped around her tiny finger. Why has he never told me about her before?
“Would you rather walk around with no pants or no shirt?” the girl asks.
His lips turn up in a knowing grin. “No shirt. It seems to catch the attention of a pretty woman who lives next door to me.”
“That’s weird. Why would she want to look at you without a shirt?”
Ha! How is he going to get out of this one?
“No clue. She’s a difficult woman to figure out.”
“Well please don’t come in here without a shirt. That would be highly inappropriate.”
He straightens her pillow for her. “Don’t worry Sweet Pea, I will always have a shirt on when I visit you.”
She wipes the back of her hand across her forehead and sighs out a big, “Phew. I was worried for a second.”
They both giggle and my insides melt. Flooded with emotions for this man and immersed in a feeling of warmth that’s running through my veins. Clearly there’s been a physical attraction, but I’m mesmerized at his awesomeness. He . . . he’s magnificent in every way. “Excuse me ma’am, I need to get into the room.” A nurse says from behind.
“Of course. I’m so sorry.”
As I turn to leave them in private, Damian’s calm voice stops me. “Well, what do you know? Emily, this is my neighbor.”
Emily’s eyes grow wide. “Hi,” she says with a giggle.
I hesitantly step towards her, wondering if I should be wearing a facemask or protective gear so I don’t spread any germs to this sweet girl. But the nurse waves me in.
“Hi, I’m Addison.” I walk towards Emily and hold out my hand, she shakes it softly, her small fingers weak, her bones noticeable through her slight frame.
“Emily and I were just playing a round of Would You Rather? Do you want to join us?”
“I’d love to, but I have to get back to work. Can I take a rain check?” I can’t be here. I didn’t get any of the information Thomas wanted except that this girl is so lovely and she doesn’t need a family to adopt her when she has Damian to take care of her.
“What’s a rain check?” Emily asks innocently.
“It means she has to come back or something evil will happen to her.” Damian’s face is scrunched up and his teeth are bared like a villain. We both laugh at his silly face.
“Bye Addison. I’ll see you soon and you can tell me why you like Damian shirtless.”
The nurse covers her laugh with a cough and Damian sends a wink my way.
“I promise I’ll come back as soon as I can.” With a slight wave in Damian’s direction, I head towards the exit.
“Sweet Pea, let Nurse Mary do her thing. I’m going to talk to Addison for a minute.” Emily yawns and snuggles into her bed as the nurse takes her temperature.
Damian ushers me out of the room, his hand pl
aced firmly on the small of my back.
His smile vanishes the minute we are out of sight. “What are you doing here?” His voice is cold and hard and I want to throw myself at his feet and beg for forgiveness, but not here. This isn’t the right place for that.
“My boss asked me to visit an Emily Jones. I had no idea you’d be here.” I stop and study him. “Why are you here?”
“Your boss is an asshole.” He runs his hands over his face. “I’m here because that little girl needs someone to love her, and right now, I’m it. Tell your boss to go to hell, he has no idea who he’s messing with.”
He talks like he knows Thomas, has known him for a while, and my brain starts to scatter in a million different directions, until it lands on one very important fact.
“Wait a second. How long have you known I work for Thomas Feeley?”
His blank stare and deep breathing does the talking for him.
“Is that why you moved next door to me? To get an inside track on her case?”
He shakes his head and begins to speak, but I don’t hear much of what he says. I’m so angry my pulse is beating between my ears. I make out words like after, no clue, bad situation, but this only confirms my gut reaction as to what a monumental mistake sleeping with Damian really was.
“You do know I could get fired right? That you, me and my job have just become a huge conflict of interest.” I can’t see straight I’m so angry. He had to have known this and yet he still tried to pursue a relationship with me. What a selfish bastard. “I’ve already lost enough in my life Damian, did you want me to lose my job too, the only other part of my life that’s all mine?”
I’m seeing red, furious that he would put me in this position. If Thomas found out I had some sort of connection with Damian, let alone started dating him, he’d fire me on the spot.
“You could have had me.”
“What?” I spit out.
“I could have been something that was all yours, but if you choose your job over a little girl who needs someone on her side, then you’re just as bad as he is. I didn’t know you worked for Thomas when I moved in. I didn’t know you were on the case until five minutes ago, but go ahead and assume the worst. You seem to be good at that.”