by A. J. Pryor
“Can you pick me up from work tonight?” Megan’s soft voice asks over the phone.
“Sure, what time?”
“Two.”
“In the morning?”
She laughs. “Yes, that’s the time the restaurant closes.” Feeling a sense of protection, I agree to meet her and begin to formulate a plan as to how I can get her a better living situation without clueing my family in on her existence.
“I want you to quit your job,” I say when she slides into the passenger seat. “I’ll pay for you to go to college, our dad won’t know anything about you, but my trust fund should be yours as well.”
“Damian—”
“You can give me every excuse in the book, Megan, but my money is your money so start looking at colleges you want to apply to. I don’t want you working until two in the morning.”
“Damian.”
I look over at her, startled by the grave tone in her voice.
“I can’t go to college.”
“You’re smart, Megan. I’ll help you apply, stick by your side every step of the way.”
She doesn’t say anything and I begin to shift lanes wondering why she’s suddenly so quiet.
She begins to cry and I’m trying to figure out what just happened. I offered her a chance at a better life and it broke her down. “Megan, what’s going on? Is there something you’re not telling me?” I reach over and place a hand on her knee. She takes it and squeezes. “You can tell me, Megan. I am your big brother, you know.”
Wiping at her eyes, she gently chuckles. “Damian,” I quickly look over at her, the panic rising inside my stomach, the acute need to find out what has her so upset. “I can’t go to college because there’s something . . . someone . . .” She’s stuttering, and I take my eyes off the road hoping some sort of eye contact will help her move forward and tell me what she needs to.
“It’s okay, Megan. Tell me what it is.”
“There’s someone – Damian watch out!”
Deafening metal on metal blasts through my ears. A blinding light clouding my vision and a throbbing pain throughout my entire body. A horn is blaring, and all I feel is total confusion.
I think my leg is split in two and my breath is coming in short gasps. I never realized how loud pain was before. But it pulses in your ears, vibrates through your entire body. I look down to my right and my heart moves up my throat. “Megan!” I manage to croak out. “Shit! Megan!” She’s not moving, her hair is fanned in all directions and she’s face down, her body at an unnatural angle, blood soaking her blonde hair.
My last thought before I pass out is that I would take her secret to the grave. My father will never know she existed. He doesn’t deserve to know.
Tears are streaming down Addison’s face. “She was going to tell you about Emily.”
“Probably, but she never got the chance. It took me another three years to discover Emily existed.”
“How did you find her?”
“Reed found her.”
“You said that before.”
I stay silent, playing back the story I’d told her in the hospital so many weeks ago. Trying to stick as close to the truth then as I possibly could. “I needed a wake-up call. And finding out a little girl was orphaned in that accident was more of a rebirth than a wake up. The minute I knew she existed, my entire world changed.”
“You’re her uncle.”
I nod.
“It took me two years to clean up my act, start my business and feel confident that I could go after her and get custody. But by the time my attorneys had an argument in place, she was diagnosed with bone cancer and Thomas took over her case. When my attorneys applied for custody, he outright denied them.”
“Thomas was an orphan too.”
I sit up surprised by her sudden revelation. “How do you know that?”
“Veronica, the only other female attorney in the office, told me the day I got fired. So, since he blames you for Megan’s death, there’s no way he’d ever agree to give her to you, but Damian, you’re her family. You can take custody.”
“No, I can’t. Without bringing my dad into it, there’s no proof.”
Addison wraps her arms around me, her face buried in my chest. “I’m so sorry, Damian.”
I hold her as she cries and for the millionth time, try to think of something I could have done differently that night. But I always get to the same conclusion, I can only perfect the life I have now, the life that feels like it’s falling apart. I need to find a way to piece it back together. I let Addison in, gave her everything I had, my heart, my soul, my past. I can only hope it’s enough to convince her to choose us.
“Don’t leave tomorrow, Addison.”
I wake with a start. It’s dark in Damian’s bedroom, the sun still asleep for the night. He is peaceful beside me, his hand cupping my breast, his breathing deep and rhythmic.
My fingers trace the outline of his, and he holds me tighter, his sleep-induced mind grasping firmer onto me. Settling back into his warm embrace, I replay Megan’s tragic story . . . Damian’s story, and my heart hurts for both of them . . . for Emily. So many ‘what if’ scenarios could have changed the course of that doomed night, but life happens for a reason, and Damian’s right, we need to love the life we have—be grateful for the good and the bad.
He asked me to stay. His last words a plea, begging me not to do this to us. I don’t want to leave. I’m in love with him, it’s as simple as that, but I don’t know how to fix us. We somehow need to find each other again. But that’s not going to happen if I stay. He needs to focus on Emily and I need to focus on me, as selfish as that is.
Turning in his heavy sleep leaden arms I wrap myself around him one last time and place my lips right below his ear. The scruff on his cheek brushes against mine and I close my eyes, capturing this moment and willing my mind to hold onto it until I can see him again. “I love you,” I whisper. “I’ve loved you for a long time. Please wait for me. I promise, this isn’t goodbye, but a chance for us to start again. Better next time, with nothing holding us back.” Gently I kiss his warm skin, my nose brushing against the underside of his jaw. He twitches, his arms tightening around me, but his breathing stays deep and steady, his eyes still closed.
Quietly sliding out of his embrace, I gather my clothes and leave his apartment for the last time, effectively breaking both our hearts.
My apartment is cold and eerily silent as I enter. Boxes piled high, walls void of any decoration and all my memories securely packed away. An empty feeling settles deep in my gut, and it feels as if I’ve already left, like I’m a stranger in the place I’ve always called home.
Stripping the bed bare, I roll up the sheets, packing them away and lie down on the mattress.
I must have fallen asleep, as I’m startled awake by my front door slamming shut. Jumping off the bed, I race into the living room and see Damian storming towards me. He doesn’t stop, but wraps his arms around my body and presses me up against the nearest wall. His lips find mine, his tongue glides against my own, and a groan releases from deep in his chest.
Wrapping my legs around his hips, I kiss him back, as he keeps me pinned to the wall. “I will come for you,” he says through labored breaths. “As soon as Emily is healthy, I will come for you.”
I nod and rest my forehead against his, not sure I can find the words to tell him exactly how I feel.
“I get it. We need a restart. But so help me God, Addison Peacock, when that day comes, you better be ready for forever, because I’m not going to let you go again.”
I bury my face in his neck and hold onto him tight, memorizing his scent, the feel of his skin. “I love you, Damian.”
“I know Green Eyes, I know.
She’s been gone three months. Ninety-two days and sixteen hours to be exact. I kept her on that wall for at least twenty minutes, making sure her lips felt my presence for days after she left. I didn’t want to let her go, but she was right, we needed a fresh start, with nothing standin
g in our way.
Emily’s words play on repeat in my mind. “She didn’t mean to hurt you, Damian. You have to forgive someone when it’s an accident.” How such a little girl could be so knowledgeable about the human heart is mind blowing, but we are talking about Emily.
“Go see her.” I look at her sweet face and take her all in. Wisps of blonde hair are beginning to grow back, gracing her perfect round skull.
“Chill out Sweat Pea. These things take time.”
“It’s been three months.”
The longest three months of my life. Watching Emily battle that damn disease, sitting by her bedside more times than I’d like to count. When I wasn’t at the hospital I was fighting Thomas, finding ways the court would listen to my attorneys instead of whatever Thomas had to say.
“And only one month since you’ve been officially cleared of any cancer cells. I’ve been busy,” I say.
She tilts her head and crosses her arms over her chest. Women must be born with that innate ability to stare a man down.
“Don’t put the blame on me. I’m happily settled into my new home. You could have gone to her weeks ago.”
I look around the house she now calls home. It used to be my home, as well. After raising eight of her own children, my attorneys convinced the courts to give guardianship of Emily to my mother. The way Thomas was fighting me tooth and nail, this scenario was the best I could do, and I’m happy at the way it turned out. My mom knows I’m Emily’s uncle and at some point, I’ll tell Emily that truth as well, but for right now, I’m letting her enjoy her happily ever after. I’ve kept my dad in the dark. If Emily chooses to tell him one day, that’s her decision, and I’ll support whatever choice she makes.
The adoption isn’t complete, but within the next six months, Emily should be a full-fledged Walker. It’s the end of August, and she’s enjoying the final remaining weeks until school starts. I’m hoping she can live as normal a life as possible from here on forward.
Thomas has backed off, conceding this isn’t such a bad outcome for a little girl who was left homeless by an awful accident. An accident that no matter how hard he tries to pin on me, wasn’t my fault.
It feels right seeing her here where I grew up, surrounded by everything that made me who I am today. She will want for nothing, including an abundance of love from eight brothers and sisters who will spoil her rotten. And I can visit and spend as much time with her as I want or as she needs.
Having her settled, healthy and happy, I can now focus on getting my own life back on track. I haven’t spoken to Addison in three months. A few text messages here and there, but for the most part, I’ve given her the space she needed. And ultimately the time our relationship needed to heal. Now that Emily is settled, I can focus on us. I only hope Addison’s ready for me, and that we can keep the past where it belongs and move forward.
“I’m taking Emily to get her nails done, Damian.”
I’m startled by my mother’s voice, but she looks so much like Emily it’s hard to imagine they aren’t related.
“Nothing too bright.”
She waves me off. “Go do something, Damian. I don’t want to see you when we get home.”
My mom has never kicked me out before. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means stop being such a man and go see that woman.”
Shaking my head, I ignore her and look out at the ocean. She makes it sound so easy.
“It is that easy.” I turn wondering if I spoke out loud. “Go to her. Work it out. I’ve never seen you like this before. Not even after your accident.” I flinch and my mom takes my hands and squeezes. “Nothing comes easy in life, Damian. You should know that by now. The same is true for love.” Releasing my hands, she reaches for Emily’s tiny fingers and walks her out the front door.
The fog that rolls in every night along the coast is beginning to burn off and I take a deep breath, weighing my options.
My phone dings a new text and I look at the screen.
Reed: You go find Addison yet?
Me: No.
Reed: Stop being such a pussy.
Fuck. He’s right. Why is he always right? It’s time to act and hope like hell she hasn’t forgotten about me.
“Go! Don’t stop. You can make it!” I’ve resorted back to yelling at the television. I can’t help it, watching my favorite teams duke it out to see who can race around the world fastest is familiar to me, and for the past three months, nothing has felt familiar.
I moved to find myself, and I have. I’ve learned that I do know how to cook when I take the time to read a recipe all the way through, that not only does coffee taste good out of my dad’s mugs, but wine works as well and that reading erotic romance novels pales in comparison to the real deal.
I miss Damian. Emily’s story was all over the news and photos of Damian and his family were plastered everywhere. He won. Emily will be in his family forever, and he didn’t have to break his promise to Megan to make it happen. I wanted to drive up and congratulate him in person, tell him I miss him, and see if it was time to finally move forward, but I couldn’t make myself do it. Sending him a four word text instead “I’m proud of you.” His response, “I love you.” Those three words made me smile for the first time in two months and my fingers moved over the screen on my phone, quickly texting him back. “I love you too.”
“I know. I’ll see you soon.” he instantly responded. The texts stopped there, and now four weeks later, I haven’t heard a peep. Emily is living with his parents in Malibu, and I can only assume Damian is a short twenty-minute drive away, as well.
Mia and Paige haven’t bumped into him, and they refuse to drive by my old apartment. Something I’m both thankful for and hating at the same time. I want to know what he’s doing, where he’s going and if he ever stops to think about me, or if he’s moved on.
My life has fallen into a comfortable routine, and this move proved one thing. I’m stronger than I thought. Leaving Santa Barbara was the best decision I’ve ever made. Being away from memories that remind me how lonely I was at times has given me a fresh look on life, but I miss Damian. He’s my one missing link and I need him in my life.
Voices in the hallway grab my attention. The apartment next door has been vacant since I moved in, but it sounds like that’s not going to be the case anymore.
“Hey, don’t drop that.”
I open my door to spy on the new neighbor. Santa Monica is a city on the beach. Anyone from a writer to a teacher, a single parent, or an attorney could be moving in. Any and all walks of life live here, and even though I’m only a two-hour drive from where I grew up, I feel like I’m experiencing life for the first time.
Movers are traipsing up and down the stairs, furniture, paintings, and boxes in their hands. Jeez, how big can that apartment be to need four Damian-sized men to move everything in?
Something red is wedged between a mover’s arm and body, and I squint my eyes to make it out, trying to get an idea of who is moving into apartment 2B. Whatever it is, it looks familiar. The mover pulls it out of his arm and places it on top of the mattress he and another man are carrying into the doorway.
My heart thumps and my mouth dries. It can’t be.
The men make it all the way through the door jam leaving the hallway wide open.
Except for Damian.
Tall and broad, he is taking up all the air in the place. His arms are crossed over his chest, his biceps bulging under his short-sleeved black T-shirt. That grin, it’s lopsided, the left side of his mouth quirked up adding a light to that dark and intense gaze.
It hurts to breathe. I’ve lived without this view for three months, pouring over news broadcasts and magazine articles to get a glimpse of the man I walked away from. Nothing could have prepared me for seeing him in the flesh.
“You brought the pillow.” I finally spit out.
His grin widens. “I can’t sleep without it.”
“We’re neighbors.” I say, pointing out
the obvious.
He nods, his eyes never leaving mine. “Yep. I’ll be living right next door.”
Uncrossing his arms, he takes a slow and steady step towards me. “I missed your mugs.”
The backs of my eyes are burning, tears threatening to fall at any moment. My breath is coming up short and I’m sure I’m going to pass out. He continues to advance, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, his eyes studying my reaction to his presence.
“I missed your abs.”
His body stills, and he stands a mere two feet from my grasp. He begins to gently laugh, the line of tension slipping away. Removing his hands from his pockets, he grabs the back of his shirt and swiftly pulls it over his head.
My reaction to the view in front of me hasn’t changed. If anything, it’s intensified. His eight-pack is just as prominent, a small amount of dark hair is still scattered on his chest. He’s thinner, but it doesn’t take away from the impressive mold of his body.
Taking another step in my direction, the air around us shifts, as he gets within reaching distance.
I throw my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. He’s warm and solid and I can’t believe he’s here. “Damian,” I whisper.
He takes my face between his large hands and kisses me. His lips gently caressing mine, his breath warm and familiar. “Love me Addison, forever, because, I can’t stop loving you. I don’t even want to try.”
Pulling away, I look deep into his eyes. “Can forever start now?”
His lids lower, and he pulls me tight to him. Sighing, he lifts me in his arms and carries me inside my apartment, shutting the door behind him. He finds my bedroom, and gently places me on the bed, his body hovering above me. “We have a lot of making up to do.”
“Maybe I should take the week off of work,” I suggest.
“Or the entire month.” His hands slide under the hem of my shirt, his fingers trailing up my skin as he removes it from my body. A slow ache begins between my legs as his eyes pool in desire.