She eased from his embrace and took a step back. “I believe you, Adam, about all of this, but I can’t marry you.”
Confusion, disbelief, hurt flooded his eyes as he gazed down at her. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Rebecca.”
“I’m saying that I don’t remember you, Adam. All these things you tell me we’ve done are truly touching, but in my mind they are things that never happened.”
“But they did happen. You and me... we did those things and dreamed those dreams together.” He captured her hands in his own. “We’ve always loved each other. We’ve always planned to marry. You’ll realize all of this when your memory comes back.”
“What if it doesn’t?” She shook her head, feeling sick inside. “You, and everyone around me, are strangers. I’m a stranger to myself. I can’t sleep. Sometimes my thoughts churn like a storm-filled creek and I can’t see the bottom of a single thought. I can’t think clearly. You can’t know how that feels. You can’t know how lost and frightened I feel right now.”
“Then don’t turn away from someone who cares about you, who can help you through this. Let me take you to another doctor,” he said. “There is a wonderful doctor at Crane Landing. I’ve seen him help many people through very difficult injuries. Doc Samuel can help you, Rebecca. I’m sure of it.”
His words intrigued her and gave her hope. “Is this the Crane Landing you mentioned the other day?”
“Yes,” he said. “It’s the place we planned to go after our nuptials. We planned to take a holiday there for a few weeks until our furniture arrived for our home here.”
“We have a home?” she asked, feeling guilty and sad that she couldn’t go through with their marriage.
He nodded. “Uncle Kyle owns a small house near his mother-in-law’s home. It has been vacant a few months. You and I are setting up house there. I plan to buy it from him now that I’m back to work the mill. We just ordered our furniture.”
“Oh, Adam...” She sighed and shook her head, heartbroken for both of them. “I’m sorry. You seem like a good man who deserves everything you’ve planned and worked for. I wish I didn’t have to disappoint you, but I must.”
“Rebecca... please just... just wait. Don’t break our engagement. Come to Crane Landing with me and see Doc Samuel. If he can’t help you, then... we’ll talk about things at that time.”
She should end this now. She shouldn’t give him hope when she was unable to promise anything. But she liked Adam, and if he thought this doctor could help her, she was going to Crane Landing. “All right,” she said. “We will wait and see what Doctor Samuel thinks.”
He pulled her to his chest in a desperate sort of hug. “Thank you,” he said, his voice hoarse.
She tensed, and he released her and stepped back. “We’ll need to talk with my father about making the trip.”
Adam nodded. “We should go to Crane Landing soon, Rebecca.”
“I can be ready in the morning.”
A sad smile tilted his lips. “Then I guess you’re going to finally get that train ride I promised you years ago.”
She glanced through the hanging branches and looked down the creek. “We still have to convince my father that this is a good idea.”
“Then we’d better pay a visit to Grandma Grayson.”
Rebecca sat on the sofa with her father. He seemed eager and excited for her to see the doctor that Adam held in such high esteem, but he wanted to bring the doctor to Fredonia, fearing the trip would be too much for Rebecca.
“Grandma will be with us,” Rebecca argued, casting a look of gratitude to the take-charge woman sitting in a wingback chair in their parlor.
“That’s not the point, sprite. I don’t want to jeopardize your health by having you travel,” he said. “I’ll hire the doctor to come here.”
“What if he won’t come?” her grandmother asked.
“I’ll make the trip worth his while,” Radford said. “Every man has his price.”
“I’m not sure the doctor does,” Adam interjected, clenching his laced fingers together. He sat in a Windsor chair, elbows braced on his thighs, his hands hanging between his knees. “He comes from money and the Cranes pay him well. Money won’t convince him to make a trip he doesn’t want to take.”
“He doesn’t need to come here, Daddy. A visit to Crane Landing will be good for me,” Rebecca argued. She wanted to see this place Adam had told her about—and she wanted to escape being surrounded by well-meaning strangers. She couldn’t bear another episode like she’d experienced outside church. And in all honesty her loving family was just as oppressive and overbearing at times. At least at Crane Landing she would also be a stranger to those folks she met. They wouldn’t expect her to know them, to remember events and moments she couldn’t recall.
She needed to go.
Reaching out, she touched her father’s clenched hand. “Please take me there, Daddy. If this doctor can help me, I want to see him right away.”
He lowered his gaze to where her hand covered the knuckles of his clenched fist. Emotion flooded his expression and he swallowed hard. It was the first time she had returned his affection or willingly touched him. He seemed to be holding back feelings and words he dare not express. Finally, he nodded. “All right,” he said, his misty gaze meeting her own. “We’ll leave on the morning train.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, and she gave her father the hug he seemed to need.
He crushed her to him for an instant, kissed the side of her head, then set her away. “You certainly remember how to get your way with me.”
His words made her smile. Perhaps she remembered. Perhaps it was just his loving heart that she couldn’t resist.
Rebecca gave Adam and her grandmother a wobbly smile. “I hope we won’t make a trip for nothing.”
Adam nodded as if he understood her concern and that she may be beyond even the good doctor’s ability to help.
But her grandmother stood to her full height of barely five feet and tsk-tsked at Rebecca’s comment. “Don’t let it be for nothing,” she said. “Come on now, we have to get you packed, and Adam has a telegram to send to that good doctor.”
Chapter Ten
The rocking rhythmic motion of the drawing-room car on the express run of the Boston & Albany Railroad lulled Rebecca into a dreamy state. With her gaze on the lush hills and woodlands outside her window, and one ear taking in the conversation between Adam and her father, she silently enjoyed the passing landscape. Now and then her grandmother would snore softly, causing the three of them to exchange a look and a grin. That Adam and her father loved and respected this woman was apparent, and understandable. She had easily won Rebecca’s admiration.
But it was the other woman across from her that captured Rebecca’s attention. Estimating her to be a few years older than her parents, Rebecca found the woman quite lovely with her properly pinned reddish hair topped with a stylish plumed brown hat. With merry cheekbones and full lips, she was a pretty lady with kind eyes. She traveled alone yet seemed so confident and relaxed, as if she thoroughly enjoyed her travel, that Rebecca couldn’t resist the urge to talk with her.
The lady lifted her face and greeted Rebecca with an open smile. “Are you enjoying the trip?” the woman asked, moving aside a small valise at her feet.
“It’s spectacular.” Rebecca told the woman she was heading to Crane Landing by way of Fredonia.
“I’m traveling to Buffalo to see my sister,” the woman offered. “I haven’t been to see her in nearly a year.”
“Are you afraid to travel alone?” Rebecca asked, pressing one hand to her stomach and imagining how frightening her own journey would be without Adam and her family traveling with her.
The lady smiled. “I’m not alone. My granddaughter is with me.”
Rebecca scanned the area, but saw no child.
“When my husband was alive we took our children to Buffalo four or five times a year. I’m sad to say that I don’t journey as often n
ow that he’s gone.”
“I’m terribly sorry,” Rebecca said, wondering if the lady might be loath to admit she was traveling alone. “I hadn’t meant to be intrusive.”
The lady gave a gentle wave of her hand. “It pleases me that you are interested. What takes you to Crane Landing?”
“I’m visiting a doctor with the hope of regaining my memory.” Rebecca felt an odd connection and liberty with the woman that she hadn’t experienced with anyone else.
Rather than commenting, the woman tilted her head. “You seem to be afraid.”
Rebecca lowered her lashes and nodded because she couldn’t talk past the sudden lump in her throat. That a complete stranger could perceive so much unnerved Rebecca and yet made her feel less alone.
“Have courage child. Hard journeys are often the most rewarding,” the woman said. “Times like these reveal what we are made of and what matters most.”
Rebecca lifted her lashes and found herself looking straight into the lady’s warm gaze. Instead of seeing pity in the woman’s eyes, Rebecca saw certainty. This lady knew great loss and yet her eyes were filled with compassion and contentment.
“Thank you,” Rebecca said. “I’m sure I will think of your wise words often during this journey.”
The woman released a light laugh. “Those are my husband’s words, but his philosophy has served me well. Now tell me about the place called Crane Landing.”
“Well, I... I know very little about it,” Rebecca said, jolted by the sudden change in topic. “My... fiancé has spent the last eighteen months there. He tells me it’s a beautiful town built around a sparkling bay with two meandering rivers that run from mountain top to the ocean. Adam helped build ships there.”
“It sounds lovely,” the woman said. “I should go there one day, I think.”
“Adam says the river walk is quite a sight in the spring when the crabapples and dogwoods are flowering.”
And so went their conversation until the lady reached her stop in Buffalo. She clasped Rebecca’s fingers in her warm hands. “Remember that your journey is ahead of you, not behind you.”
She departed the train, and the big black locomotive departed the station minutes later. Rebecca promptly fell asleep. She woke with her head resting against Adam’s shoulder and her father watching with an odd look in his eyes.
Sitting upright, Rebecca rubbed her aching neck and looked out the window.
“Are you in pain?” her father asked, his concern evident.
She shook her head. “Just surprisingly sleepy.”
“The train rocks me to sleep every time I travel,” he said, his voice a bit sheepish. She could only see his eyes behind his newspaper, but it sounded as if he was smiling. A smile made him seem more approachable, but the tension between her father and Adam was obvious.
Both men seemed uncomfortable, which told Rebecca they weren’t used to the tension—and made her wonder what had happened to cause the obvious rift.
“Are you in need of anything?” Adam asked.
“A nap,” she said.
A soft chuckle rolled up his throat. “You’ve been sleeping since five minutes out of Fredonia. We have a long way to go. May as well get some rest.”
“I haven’t been asleep more than a few minutes,” she said, surprised by his comment.
Adam and her father exchanged a look that suggested she was wrong.
“I sat right there and conversed with the pretty lady in the next seat nearly the whole way to Buffalo.”
Her comment apparently piqued her father’s curiosity because he lowered the newspaper he’d been perusing.
Adam smiled as if he found her comment cute. “I suspect you and the lady conversed in your dream.”
“What are you talking about, Adam? She sat directly across from us until she left our car at Buffalo. Her sister lives there and she is visiting her. I told her about Crane Landing and how you work on the ships,” Rebecca said. “You must have heard our conversation.”
Another look passed between Adam and her father, only this one carried concern.
Her father put down his paper. “You’ve been sleeping and dreaming, sprite.”
Rebecca shook her head. “I heard you two talking about the mill at Crane Landing. I saw the porter query you about some gentleman’s missing valise. You and Adam helped him search our car.”
The stunned expressions on their faces explained their lack of comment.
“Grandmother’s been sleeping since just after we left the station, but I didn’t drift off until after we left the station at Buffalo.”
“Honey, it was a dream,” her father gently insisted. “Perhaps you were just daydreaming, but there was no woman, sprite.”
Rebecca’s breath slid out as she sank back on the seat. The woman and their conversation had been so real. She’d touched the woman’s hand. Was it possible to dream something so vivid and real like?
As if Adam sensed her concern, he slipped his warm palm over her clenched fist and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’re tired, love. Why not rest while you can?”
She nodded and turned her face to the window.
The clacking wheels and jolting cars competed with the conversation Adam and her father began about the Crane’s latest shipbuilding practices. Rebecca closed her eyes, wondering what was happening to her.
They changed trains in Boston, and headed to Maine. By the time the train whistle blew, heralding their final stop, Rebecca was beyond eager to get off the train.
Located at the southern end of the state of Maine, Crane Landing welcomed Rebecca with a dazzling display of sun-drenched boardwalks, verdant green trees and a vast blue sky.
From the red and white train depot, Adam directed Rebecca’s gaze down Main Street where she could see all the way to the bay and the ocean beyond. Businesses lined both sides of the bricked street, making her want to take a long leisurely stroll along the boardwalks and clear her mind.
“Main Street ends at Bay Street,” Adam said, pointing toward the water sparkling in the distance. “Bay Street follows the bay and connects with River Road, which climbs right up the mountain alongside the Crane River. I hope we can stay long enough for you to see it,” he said, casting a speculative look at her.
Rebecca’s breath slipped out on a sigh of appreciation. “I hope so, too. What a lovely place.”
“Is that a lighthouse, Adam?” his grandmother asked, pointing to a tall spire far off in the distance.
“Yes,” he said. “Ships can see it from several miles out, I’m told.”
“Have you been out on the ships yet?” her father asked Adam.
“Only on a schooner, sir, but I hope to one day experience a launch from the deck of a Crane & Grayson ship.”
Her father eyed the town. “Each time I come here I’m amazed at this thriving community,” he said. “I’ll show you ladies more of it tomorrow.”
“That would be wonderful,” Rebecca said, excitement thrumming in her veins. Knowing this was all new to her grandmother as well, and that she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know the place, lightened Rebecca’s mood. She was here to see Doc Samuel, but she would enjoy exploring the locale with Adam and her family.
Although the inn was located just down the street, Adam hired a hack to take their bags to the Beacon Inn while they stretched their legs and took in the ocean scented air of Maine.
When they reached the Inn, Rebecca and her grandmother were taken to a suite with high arched windows overlooking Main Street. Light blue tapestries the color of the ocean draped the windows. Bright floral quilts covered their beds and were topped by thick feather pillows. A massive gas fireplace bracketed by two carved rosewood parlor chairs with mahogany end tables decorated a small parlor off their sleeping quarters. A large water closet with a deep cast iron tub and plenty of thick linens made Rebecca want to soak her aching body, sleep for ten hours, and spend the next day exploring the beauty of Crane Landing.
But she only had time to freshe
n up before her father called at their door to escort them to supper in the main dining hall where they were to meet Adam.
Agitated by his inability to have a private word with Rebecca, Adam struggled to stay abreast of their supper conversation. He excused his silence by claiming he’d talked himself out on the train. The truth was that he didn’t care about the luscious flavor of the game hen nor the restaurant décor that so impressed the others. He ate because his body needed nourishment, not because he was enjoying his meal. He didn’t want to eat the food or talk about it. Nothing mattered to him at the moment but his relationship with Rebecca.
She didn’t want to marry him.
The thought alone turned everything in his stomach liquid.
How could she not know him? After all the hours and dreams and special moments they’d shared, how could she not know him?
Her accident had been bad. He knew that. But had it happened to him, he would still know her. No matter what transpired, as long as he was breathing he would know Rebecca. She was as much a part of him as his own hands.
That she didn’t know anyone else, including her own family, was no consolation. It just made him feel worse. If only he could wind back the clock to the evening they met beneath the willow. He would persuade her not to bring him lunch, to stay home where she’d be safe and whole and remain his beautiful, loving Rebecca.
She wasn’t his Rebecca any longer. Their conversations that used to flow like a river were now as stagnant as a still pond. And that business about conversing with a lady on the train was downright odd—and deeply concerning if she thought it real rather than a dream.
“Adam.” Rebecca jiggled his hand where it rested beside his plate, fork forgotten in his fingers.
Shaken from his reverie, he glanced at her, as surprised by her touch as by how far away his mind had carried him. She hadn’t touched him since before her accident three weeks earlier.
My Forever Love Page 10