“I’m pretty sure Brennan is busy enough with his own stuff,” she said, thinking of Molly with a pang. Molly, who probably knew by now that Bren hadn’t been faithful.
The next enemy vampire who crossed her path got a little extra aggression when she faced off against him.
Damn it. She should have been there for Molly.
They cleared out the house, then moved out onto the grounds. Ronan and the guards stationed outside of the guest house were fighting back a few, and when Shanti’s group joined them, they made short work of it. Rayna went to her brother, checked him over.
“I’m fine,” he said in irritation. “Fucking Dermott got away. That weasel. I saw that this was under attack and I had to let him go.”
Shanti turned to the rest of the group. “Sweep the grounds and the surrounding area. See if you can spot him. He’s probably gone, but we need to check.”
They all nodded, moved out.
Shanti, Ronan, and Rayna went to work dragging all of the enemy bodies out into the back yard, then mopping pools of blood and gore out of the house.
“Really, I just don’t want to wake up to a mess,” Rayna said.
“We need a maid,” Ronan grumbled, an argument that Shanti had already heard at least half a dozen times. “Does the Demon have a maid?”
Shanti shook her head. “Though his house doesn’t usually get trashed, so we don’t see messes like this.”
“Someday, they’ll be afraid to come after us, too,” Ronan said. They finished cleaning in silence, and Shanti lost hope that she’d be able to get out to see Molly before dawn. By the time the blood had been cleaned up and the furniture righted or either tossed out, the broken windows boarded up, Shanti could feel herself getting tired, the way she always did when dawn neared.
The groups she’d sent out to check for Dermott returned. “He’s long gone,” one of them said, and she thanked him, then glanced at Ronan.
“We’ll get him,” she said, and he nodded.
Rayna came over to her, folded her into a hug. “Good job tonight, Shanti,” she said softly, and Shanti hugged her back.
“I have earned a night off, don’t you think? I have somewhere I need to be tomorrow,” Shanti said, and Rayna smiled.
“That you have. Enjoy. And thank you.”
Shanti nodded, then went up to her chambers and showered as quickly as she could, barely finishing before the dawn finally pulled her under.
Shanti didn’t even need her alarm clock to wake her up that night. She glanced at it and saw it was just after eight. She grabbed her phone and dialed Levitt. He answered on the second ring.
“Hey. Can you talk?” she asked him.
“Yeah.”
“So she’s really back?”
“She really is,” he answered, and she could hear the smile in his voice. “When you texted me last night I was like, is she seriously not coming? But then we heard about what happened at Rayna’s. You’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” She paused. “How is she?”
The line was silent for several long moments. “She’s different, Shanti. Whatever happened to her there, man. It was bad. And she can do all this crazy shit now. She broke Nain and Jones out of jail.”
Shanti’s jaw dropped. “No. Way.”
“Seriously. She just kind of disappeared, and a few minutes later she reappeared with Jones, then with Nain. Fucking crazy.” He paused. “But something’s up. She was in pain after she used her powers last night. Whatever happened to her fucked her up bad.”
Shanti dropped her face into her hand. “And Brennan’s spawn?”
“Yeah. That was… you know she’s terrible at hiding her feelings.”
“Yeah.”
“It looked like she took a fucking arrow through the heart. She knew it, the second she walked into the loft and looked at that kid. I swear I wanted to kill Brennan, and I actually like the son of a bitch.”
“So what happened?” She asked, kind of not wanting to know.
“She stared at the kid for a few seconds, and then she held him. She’s definitely not talking to Brennan much. She spent most of the day out. She’s home now though.”
“I’ll be there in like an hour. Can you tell her that?”
“I will.”
Shanti hung up, then texted Zero that she wouldn’t be able to come over that night like she’d planned. She got into the shower, dressed and did her hair. Molly was on her mind the entire time.
Her stomach was in knots. And her mind kept turning to Zero. Look at Molly and Brennan. They loved and trusted one another. Knew each other. And Brennan had still managed to screw around on Molly when her crazy life took her away from him.
What chance she have with Zero? They barely knew one another, and her life wasn’t as crazy as Molly’s, but it wasn’t normal either.
And it bothered her that she wanted him as much as she did. That she kind of needed him, based on how miserable she’d been when they were apart. And someday, he’d realize that her life was just too insane, and he’d walk.
And she’d have the rest of her long life to miss him.
Or he’d end up dead because of her, and she’d have the rest of her life to mourn him and be buried under the guilt. The only thing for sure was that no matter what, she’d likely end up losing him.
She shook her head, left her chambers and headed out to her car. There were workmen all over the place, repairing windows and doors, installing new locks and stuff like that. Extra security cameras. They’d apparently been surprised the night before, and Ronan wasn’t taking any chances now.
Shanti drove her usual route to the loft, pulled into the parking garage. Her stomach was still turning as she took the elevator up to the living area.
The doors opened and she rushed to the loft door, let herself in with her key. A quick glance around was all it took.
There she was, standing near the kitchen island.
Shanti let out a shout and ran to Molly, wrapped her in a hug. She knew she was crying. She knew she was probably crushing Molly. She didn’t even care.
Her hero was back.
Molly laughed a little and hugged her back. And when Shanti couldn’t stop crying, Molly held her, ran her hand over her hair, soothing her.
“It’s okay, kiddo. It’s okay,” Molly murmured.
Shanti pulled back. “You gotta stop doing shit like that. You’re killing me.”
Molly laughed, and it was like the old Molly, but not. The way she held herself, as if she was getting ready to defend herself, even among people who loved her. The way her eyes darted everywhere, as if she was watching for an enemy. The way she kept rubbing her hands, her arms. Uncomfortable in her own skin.
Shanti felt more tears welling up.
“I thought you had to work tonight,” Molly said, glancing at the patrol schedule, which showed her on at Rayna’s. “Brennan thought you would probably be off tomorrow night.”
At that moment, Brennan walked into the kitchen carrying Sean. Shanti barely suppressed the snarl that bubbled up inside her, the desire to hit him as hard as she could.
“Come on. Let’s sit,” she said, taking Molly’s arm and ignoring Brennan’s greeting. They settled themselves in the living room, and she told Molly a little bit about what she did for the queen. When Brennan brought Molly a cup of coffee, just like it was the old days, she couldn’t hold back the eye roll. Asshole.
“I hear that you’re good at your job,” Molly said, smiling a little as she took a sip of her coffee. It killed Shanti. Here she was, as always, doing what Molly does. Focusing on everyone else, even when Shanti could see that she was broken inside.
“Yeah, well. I was trained by the best,” Shanti answered.
Molly nodded. “Brennan.”
Shanti stared at her. “Fuck Brennan. I learned from you. How to stand up for those who need it. How to fight even when you’re afraid. That’s what I learned.”
Molly raised her eyebrows. “Fuck Brennan, huh?”
>
“Yeah.”
“Care to elaborate?” Molly asked, watching her closely.
Shanti shook her head in disbelief. “Did you not notice the baby who isn’t yours?”
“This isn’t your fight,” Molly answered, and the soft way she said it, her determination to keep peace between everyone, even when she was hurting, made Shanti want to kill Brennan even more.
It also made her want to never, ever let herself fall as hard for Zero as she was starting to. If Molly couldn’t trust Brennan, she and Zero didn’t stand a chance in hell.
They sat a little while longer, Shanti watching the emotions run over Molly’s face as she tried to make everything okay. It wasn’t working.
They decided to head out to Slows to eat. The fact that Molly even suggested it told Shanti all she needed to know: Molly wanted to get out of the loft. She wasn’t much of an eater, just in general. They drove, and talked more about the queen, and Molly tried reassuring Shanti, telling her she was more together than Molly had been at her age.
They talked all the way through dinner. Shanti spilled her guts about Levitt, about how it had ended between them. She couldn’t make herself talk about Zero, even though she wanted to.
Even though, just then, whatever was between them confused the hell out of her. Instead, she joked about how good demons were in bed, noted a blush rise to Molly’s face.
Well. Wasn’t that interesting?
“Someone will live up to that eventually,” Molly said, looking away.
“Well, I’ll have fun finding him then,” Shanti said, even as a little voice told her she’d already found him, and he had golden eyes and could kiss in a way that made her pretty sure that heaven was right here on Earth. She forced the thought away. “I don’t really think I’m the relationship type. Is that bad?” she asked, messing with the paper napkin in front of her. If it was just a physical thing, she could find anyone to satisfy that, right? It didn’t have to be Zero with his eyes and his soft smooth voice and that way he had of holding her as if she was the most precious, beautiful thing in existence.
Brennan had treated Molly the same way. As if she was a treasure.
What a bunch of bullshit.
“There’s no wrong way to be, as long as you’re true to you. That’s all that matters,” Molly said softly.
Shanti just nodded. She pushed Zero and all of the fears she had about him to the back of her mind. She had time to obsess over that mess later. “Do you want to talk about what happened to you while you were gone?” she asked quietly, watching her friend.
Molly had started, hesitantly, in that quiet voice of hers, the one she used when she was saying something that was important. And the longer she talked, the more okay she seemed to be with the idea of talking.
Christ. The things the woman had gone through.
Shanti felt like she was going to be sick. Captured, tortured. Killed over and over again.
Resurrected.
Fighting for her life against beings who called themselves gods. Her own family.
Shanti sat and listened, and stared. She wanted to cry.
But even more, she wanted to hunt down the bastards who had hurt Molly and beat the hell out of them. Yeah, they could probably kill her in like two seconds, but at least she’d go out hurting them.
And a thought kept coming to Shanti: if these were really gods, what about the god she believed in? The one she’d never seen, yet prayed to every single day?
“Do you believe they’re gods?” Shanti asked quietly.
“Not really. The only thing I know for sure is that there is no fucking way I’m a god,” Molly said, looking up at Shanti and rolling her eyes. And then they both erupted in laugher, and it felt like the old days, when they’d sit around on the roof or in Shanti’s room, and she would talk and Molly would listen.
“Want to patrol?” Molly asked as they left the restaurant.
Shanti grinned. “You really know how to show a girl a good time,” she said. But she knew Molly didn’t want to go back home. She understood now, more than ever, how even when everything else was a mess, the fact that they could go out and cause pain to those who deserved it, or save those who needed saving, was as much a blessing to them as it was to those they saved. It kept them sane, gave them a sense of control when everything was falling apart.
So they patrolled, Molly’s imps running through the shadows. And they ended up in the same neighborhood Nain was in, and he’d gotten to their lost girl first.
Except that they’d been too late. She stood and watched as Molly and Nain talked, as he put his huge hands on her thin shoulders tried to save her from having to see the carnage.
She watched the way they looked at each other. The intensity in every single glance, the quiet way Nain spoke to Molly, unlike the way he talked to anyone else. The almost-hungry way he looked at Molly. And the way Molly seemed to be hyper-aware of everything about him.
Very, very interesting.
Molly pulled Shanti away, still glancing back at her former husband. As they walked down the street, Shanti noticed Molly throw one glance back at him.
“Well, that wasn’t a whole bunch of sexual tension or anything. Damn,” Shanti said, laughing a little and fanning herself.
“It wasn’t,” Molly answered, glancing back again.
“Right.”
Molly just shook her head in irritation, and Shanti dropped the subject. They made their way back to the loft. Shanti considered staying the night, but she didn’t feel okay about leaving he vampires after what had happened the night before. Everyone was still on edge.
She hugged Molly and promised she’d talk to her soon, and yes, she’d be careful. And then she drove off, heading toward Rayna’s.
When she got home it was a little after three. She guzzled a bottle of blood, greeted Sam, then went up to her room. She sat on her bed and texted Zero.
Are u still up?
A few seconds later he replied. Yes. Everything ok?
Just checking to see if you were ok.
Her phone rang then, and she saw it was him.
“I’m okay. Is everything okay with you?” he asked, and her stomach flipped at the sound of his voice.
“Fine.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The Angel is back,” she said.
“That’s a good thing, right?”
“It is. It’s just… the things she went through while she was gone…” and then she found herself filling him in on the Brennan situation. “So she fights her way back only to have her heart broken by the man who swore he loved her. And I know that part of it was that he was pissed off at her for being gone. Because our life is freaking insane and relationships aren’t the first thing on our minds.”
“Shanti,” Zero said.
“What?”
“Don’t even think it.”
“What?”
“You’re thinking it’s best to stop before I break your heart.”
“Didn’t know you were a telepath, Zero,” she muttered.
“I’m not. I know you.”
“You don’t know me,” she said. “We barely know each other.”
“And you’re determined to keep it that way, aren’t you?”
“It’s probably for the best.”
She heard him let out an irritated breath. “So the assumption is that I’m also going to be a selfish asshole who’s going to cheat or take off on you when things get nuts? Is that what we’re saying?”
She didn’t answer.
“Setting aside that I should probably be pissed that you have such a low opinion of me, I’ll just say that, yeah, there’s shit we don’t know about each other. You don’t know much about my past, because I don’t talk about that. But I still feel like I know you, gamila.”
“I don’t have a low opinion of you. I’m just saying… they were perfect, Zero. He worshipped her, and she loved him and look what happened,” she finished quietly.
He was silent for
a few moments. “Maybe they weren’t as perfect as it looked,” he finally said. “Things can look a certain way, but only people in the relationship actually know how things are. And that’s not just romantic relationships. Same with families. My parents looked like the perfect husband and wife, the perfect mom and dad. But they hated one another and they despised my sister and me just as much. What you see on the outside is rarely accurate.”
“I didn’t know you have a sister.”
“Had. She died while I was deployed.”
“I’m sorry. What happened?”
“Overdose.”
“I’m so sorry, babe.”
“Thanks.” They were silent. “We can slow down. We can take a break from one another or whatever you need to make yourself feel better. And maybe you’ll decide you don’t want me. But at least promise me you’ll think about us, gamila. We are not Brennan and Molly. We’re us, and I can feel what is between us. Don’t write it off so fast.”
“I think I need a little time. And work stuff is crazy right now anyway,” she said, even as she wanted to tell him she was coming over. She knew the feel of his lips on hers would soothe her even as it drove her insane.
“Okay.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow night, okay?” she asked.
“Okay. Good night, Shanti.”
“Night, Zero,” she murmured, then she hung up and laid back on her bed, staring at the celling.
She was gone. She knew it already. She loved him, and it seemed stupid and impossible and like something you only see in Disney movies, that love at first sight thing. And no matter how often she told herself it was lust or infatuation or whatever, she knew better.
She was in love with him. Hard. And it scared the hell out of her, for so many reasons. And the thought of ending up the way Brennan and Molly were right now was just depressing.
Why did everything have to be so damn confusing?
Chapter Seven
The next night, Shanti hunted with Ronan. They’d decided to start trying to find Dermott, neither of them okay with the fact that he had escaped his fate when he’d clearly been the one who’d organized the attack on their home. They hunted for several hours, Dermott still evading them, though they did manage to bring in a new vampire who was causing trouble near the Grosse Pointe border. Shanti was helping Sam get the new vampire settled when her phone rang. She hoped it was Zero, saw it was Levitt.
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