Emily chuckled.
“Oh, that does sound like him. For a man who usually knows what you’re even thinking, he really screwed up.”
Leigh shook her head.
“I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if he really knows me, because I feel like a different person here. He doesn’t know who I am here. I can’t let him in here, because you know him. There’s something about him that makes every situation he’s in all about him. He doesn’t even do it on purpose.”
“People around him just respond to him without his trying. I know what you’re saying. Well, he screwed up, and you broke up with him?”
Leigh shrugged.
“I said we needed a break and ran away. Literally, I ran away. He tried to call me a couple of times, but I wouldn’t answer. I sent him a text, asking him to please respect my wishes – that I need a break from him and our relationship, and to focus on my life here.”
Emily sighed.
“That explains why you didn’t see my emails. You haven’t wanted to log in and see an email from him. Or not see one.”
She should’ve known that Emily would understand, thought Leigh. She always did.
“That’s about it. So… So, I broke up with Harrison.”
“Did you tell your parents?”
Leigh shook her head.
“They’re off on a vacation. There was some unpleasantness with some reporter who got a little too eager to get a story. I think they both need some distance. Em, this entire thing screwed up all our lives and now I’ve just left it all open like this.”
Emily shook her head.
“You can only make your decisions based on the information available to you. Some things are unpredictable, so your decisions have to change. It was the right thing to do then. Maybe this is the right thing to do now, and if that’s so, you should make up your mind and stick with it. Until and unless something unpredictable happens again.”
Leigh frowned.
“That’s basically just telling me that plans never work.”
Emily shrugged.
“Hey, it’s the wisdom I gained from the orcas. But if you broke up with Harrison so you can focus on school, you should do yourself a favor and actually focus on school instead of curling up in bed and barely getting by. Besides, you should be taking care of yourself better, too. You’ve lost weight, Leigh. You should take care of yourself.”
Leigh nodded.
Emily had a way of saying things as they were without fussing. If Emily was concerned, she must look a fright.
“Things have gotten on top of me a bit, but you’re right. You’re right, I should just focus on school and get it all under control. I have to let everything else go for now. Do you know the weird thing? I had just about convinced myself that I could handle it all when Harrison popped the question and made me realize that I couldn’t, because Harrison has never been somebody you could handle. He handles himself, always.”
Emily shrugged.
“He’s a strong man with a very forceful personality. And now you’ve got to move on and do what you promised yourself you would do. You can begin by showing me around campus, and telling me what life has been like here. I’ve got the day for you. After that, I’ve got to go and meet a few people about some promising research into this algae…”
Emily went off on one of her complicated explanations that Leigh had never been able to understand. Emily knew that, too. Leigh was aware that the little lecture on marine biology was mainly so Leigh could get herself under control and not fall apart, because Leigh hated falling apart.
Harrison wasn’t the only one who had issues with control.
But by that evening, Emily’s steadying presence had had the effect it always did. As Emily said goodbye, Leigh grabbed her in a bear hug and held on for as long as she could.
“I’m not going to go out of the country for a while. But if I do, I like your roommate. Hana seems to have a sensible head on her shoulders, and she’s got just enough nonsensical humor in her to make it palatable. I approve, so listen to her when you’re not sure if you can listen to me.”
Leigh grinned.
“I will. Now, drive carefully, and remember, you can stay at my place until you find something. It’s just empty now. It was a pain in the ass to move my garden, but I managed, so it doesn’t look nearly as nice anymore. Still…”
“No worse than many places where I’ve slept and lived. Now, take care of yourself, Leigh. I’m just a couple of hours away.”
Another hug that promised support and comfort, and Emily was gone.
Leigh watched her drive away and made her way back to her room.
Emily was right. Now that she had decided on her priorities, it was time to stick to those.
Enough of dithering. Enough of self-pity.
And there was one thing she hadn’t told Emily.
Leigh was guilty about that, too. She had always told Emily everything, but she hadn’t told Emily about Roger.
The mere fact that she had hidden something from Emily said a lot.
It said too much, and Leigh didn’t like any of it.
But she had made her choice now, and the choice didn’t include a man.
Not even if the man made her feel that flutter in her belly that she shouldn’t feel.
Especially not then.
But avoiding Roger Hutton was also not a solution. She needed his help, obviously, because that paper was stalled, and she needed to work on it. So, as a student – the role she was supposed to be focused on playing – she would approach her professor and seek his help.
There would be nothing more to it than that.
Leigh wasn’t sure if she had convinced herself, but she did feel better as she cooked dinner for herself and Hana and settled down to sort out her schedule for the next week.
Then she steeled herself and made herself check her emails and her text messages.
There was nothing from Harrison.
Leigh told herself that she was relieved about that, but the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, and the weight that seemed to settle into her heart – neither felt like relief.
They felt like loss – the kind of loss she wasn’t ready to think about, or process.
So Leigh didn’t, and was blessed by a distraction – a letter from Carl.
“Well, now,” said Leigh, and Hana looked up.
“Prince Charming?”
Leigh chuckled.
“Nope. My ex from before that. He’s a bit of a jerk. Went off to discover himself in Southeast Asia and Central America. Those poor souls, what did they ever do to deserve it?”
“Sounds like a gem. What’s up with him?”
Leigh skimmed the email quickly.
“He’s back and wants to reconnect.”
“Struck out with all the lovely ladies he hoped to bang and is back and ready to charm your pants off. Literally, if he picked up any spells,” translated Hana.
Hana had no patience for men who tried to find themselves anywhere in East or Southeast Asia. She considered it an insult to her ancestors, and to the women she considered her kin and sisters.
“Accurate. And he has now been,” said Leigh, slowly, tapping keys quickly and precisely, “told exactly where he can get off. There, that makes me feel a lot better. I don’t care if it’s petty.”
Hana grinned.
“You are better. I like Emily. Now, shall we get some work done?”
Leigh nodded.
“Emily likes you, too. And yes, let’s get some work done. Moping is over. Now we work,” declared Leigh, and she meant it.
She really did.
It wasn’t her fault if life had other plans, was it?
Leigh took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
Roger – no, thought Leigh, Professor Hutton – opened the door, wearing his usual outfit, plus mismatched socks and no shoes.
Leigh looked at his feet and tried to keep a straight face, but the stress of the last week seeme
d to catch up with her and bubble out as nearly hysterical giggles.
Roger looked at her, completely bewildered, until he finally glanced down at his feet and smiled ruefully.
“This might not put me in much of a favorable light, but I knew they were mismatched.”
Leigh just looked at him and grinned.
“I can’t find the pair for either of them, so I wear them together. I believe it makes me look quite dashing, in fact. I expect I’ll set a trend that will catch on across campus. Now, do come in. I’m being inhospitable – and after all the help you’ve given me.”
Leigh smiled as she walked in, and closed the door behind her.
She looked around. The quarters did look different now. There were new bookshelves, and books were slowly going up on them, though there were still quite a few stacks of books on the floor.
“It’s still a mess,” said Roger, apologetically.
But Leigh shook her head.
“It looks nice, actually. Comforting. You do need a few plants, though. Plants give life to a space. Makes it a real living space. I’ve almost brought that little plant back to life.”
Roger gave an exaggerated shudder.
“You do know that I have at least a shelf’s worth of horror books. I don’t think I want them to get any ideas that they’re alive.”
Leigh smiled again, feeling lighter than she had in ages.
“I brought fruits. And my paper. I’m afraid I need some more help with it. Not the kind you can’t give without unduly affecting the grade, but just some direction. And a few explanations. I’ve been reading and a few precedents, to me, seem to contradict each other. I’m beginning to realize that Criminal Law is very different from the kind of corporate fraud and so on that I was used to.”
Roger grinned, his whole face lighting up, as if she had brought up his most favorite topic in the world. He ushered her to the table, which was already covered in notepads and reference books – he had apparently been doing some research for a book – and Leigh was soon, despite herself, both charmed and intrigued.
Finally, she sat back and nodded.
“So, basically, you’re saying that none of it is ever going to make sense because while it’s all supposed to be objective, the very notion of precedents carrying such legal weight makes it subjective because precedents are set by people.”
Roger sat back, following suit, and grinned as if she were his favorite pupil.
“That’s right. You’ve got it, exactly. Now do you understand?”
“Not in the slightest,” Leigh told him, making him laugh again.
“Oh, I don’t understand why so many people told me that teaching was so taxing. It’s great fun.”
Leigh chuckled.
“It’s no trouble for you because all the girls have decided that you’re the hunk of the year.”
She could’ve bitten her tongue off.
What on earth was she thinking?
“I am?”
He looked genuinely bewildered.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I overstepped, in many ways. I shouldn’t have come to your quarters at all, I suppose. I’m intruding in so many… I’m so sorry.”
Roger looked even more bewildered. He ran his fingers through his hair, and the urge she felt to do the same caught her by surprise. How would his hair feel?
She had absolutely no business even thinking that.
“Well, if you overstepped, so did I. I’ve been treating you as a colleague and friend, I suppose. I’m new to this. Teaching isn’t what I do. I don’t think it’s all that inappropriate for you to be here, though, is it? It can’t be. Lots of professors tutor their students. I don’t think it’s anything wrong. Is it?”
He looked so cute and ruffled that Leigh wanted to run her hands through his hair again, and ruffle it.
“I guess it’s not, as long as you don’t give me any preferential treatment. Though,” went on Leigh, “some ice cream wouldn’t go amiss. There should be some in your freezer, if I know anything of your eating habits. And I do know a little bit.”
Roger chuckled.
“There is. Of course there is. Cookies and cream, obviously, because that is the king of blended flavors. Though vanilla is right up there.”
As Leigh enjoyed her ice cream with Roger, Harrison paced his condo.
The plants were withering. Were they really, or was it his imagination? Had they realized, too, that Leigh was gone?
She was gone.
Because he had pushed her too much, too far. And he hadn’t understood her.
How could it be?
How could it be that he didn’t understand Leigh? His Leigh! He had always understood her. They had always understood each other.
How had they lost each other so thoroughly?
Pacing wasn’t helping. Everything in the condo reminded him of her.
Maybe he should get a new place.
What made it even worse was that Martha and Samuel were back home. He would have to see them.
Things had been difficult of late.
He had no idea what he was supposed to do.
Harrison was not used to being at a loss, but at a loss he was.
Without Leigh, it felt like he forever would be. Leigh had left him.
She was gone.
Chapter 6
“Leigh.”
Harrison sounded surprised, because he was. He hadn’t expected Leigh to call him again. After all, Leigh had needed time away from him. How could she have time away from him if she talked to him?
“Harrison, how are you?”
Harrison bit back the harsh words that had risen to his lips.
How did she think he was?
She had promised him everything and then left him.
But with effort, he managed to rein in the frustration and the anger and replied civilly.
Politely.
Distantly.
“I’m well, Leigh. And you?”
There was a pause before he heard her voice again. Harrison realized that he was gripping his phone hard enough to make his fingers ache, and made himself relax.
“I’m doing well in school. I’m in the top ten percent now. So that’s improvement.”
“I’m glad it’s working out well for you.”
He knew he was being formal, but that was all he could manage at the moment. Warmth was simply out of the question.
“Well… How’s work?”
Harrison sighed. He had no time or patience for this. It was bad enough to have to dream of Leigh every night, think of her every day, wish he had known what to do. But at the root of it all, there was one thought.
She had given up.
Whatever was wrong, giving up was not what you did, not after you made a decision. Sure, he might have been wrong, but that didn’t mean that demanding a break was the answer!
She hadn’t even talked about it. She had just declared it, and run away, without giving him the chance to explain.
Though what he might have done even if she had given him the chance to explain, he wasn’t too sure. Still… He’d never know now, because she hadn’t given him the chance.
“Did you really call to talk about work, Leigh?”
There was another pause. This time, he could feel the hurt in what she didn’t say. Well, fumed Harrison, she couldn’t exactly blame him for that.
“I guess I thought we could be friends. Like we used to be.”
Oh, the words hurt like a bitch. Harrison took a deep breath.
“Perhaps in time we can be, Leigh. But since you decided we needed a break, I must also have some say in the terms of the break.”
“So, you don’t want to talk to me at all?”
“I have to do what’s best for myself in this case. Thinking about you when you’re not mine is difficult for me. I’ll have to pretend that everything is fine when we meet Martha and Samuel. I think I’ll save all my energy for that. I’m sure you have no complaints.”
This ti
me the hurt seemed like a real punch to the gut.
“All right, if that’s what you want, Harrison. Of course. I’m sorry I imposed on you by calling you.”
Now she sounded as stiff and formal as he had, and he had an inkling of how much it must’ve hurt to hear it.
Her choice, he reminded himself.
“Will you be here for dinner this Friday night?”
“I don’t think so. I must focus on school.”
“Of course. I hope you do well,” said Harrison, and without waiting to say goodbye, he hung up.
He hadn’t meant to be rude. But listening to her voice, and the hurt in her voice as if he had done her some grievous harm, was so hard. It hurt him.
She had hurt him.
What right did she have to expect friendship from him?
But Leigh had always been his friend. She had been there for him, no matter what, when he’d needed somebody so desperately. And when they had first gotten together – he had been the one who pushed it. Leigh had had doubts, precisely because she had wanted to be sure that it would last – because it would’ve broken up the family if it didn’t.
Well, he wouldn’t let that happen, of course. He would show her that she was wrong.
In that, as well as in her desire to leave him.
He would show her that he could go on without her just fine – even if Harrison had no idea if he could. It felt like he couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think without her.
But she could.
She could do well in college, and sound happy. Uncertain, perhaps, but happy.
She could move on, and Harrison knew that he should be happy for her, but he wasn’t.
He was allowed a little bit of pettiness, he decided.
Frustrated, he grabbed his keys. He was feeling suffocated in the penthouse. It had become as much Leigh’s as his own.
Maybe it was time to put it on the market and move someplace else. Maybe what he wanted was a nice cottage, with a nice little garden.
No, no garden. Leigh loved gardens.
Maybe what he needed was one of those smart, modern, streamlined places that needed absolutely no maintenance. Or maybe he should just move into a suite at one of the hotels in which he had stake.
Being Harrison Bloom's Girl (That Forbidden Love Book 2) Page 6