“Leigh,” he said, and this time, it was all he said.
Leigh unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off him, quickly and urgently. She touched him, stroking his chest, and the familiar feel of him, the heat of his skin, the sprinkling of hair, made her feel like her body was on fire.
She needed him.
That would never change.
“I missed you. I missed touching you, like this. I missed touching and kissing you. I need to be inside you. I need to know how hot and wet you are for me, how much you need me.”
Leigh shuddered at his words, which aroused her even more. She trembled as his hands cupped her breasts and stroked them, as he nipped at her lower lip and tugged at it, his tongue stroking and soothing it.
She wanted that tongue on her breasts. She wanted him to…
“Harrison, please. Touch me.”
“I will. Tell me you’re mine, Leigh. Tell me.”
Something in her rebelled against that, but then his thumbs stroked over her hard, taut nipples, and she couldn’t think at all. She would’ve told him anything he needed to hear then – anything at all.
“I’m yours! Harrison, please, please, I need you. I need you.”
She tasted triumph on his lips as he kissed her, hard and passionate, his tongue insisting on finding all her secrets. His fingers closed on her nipples and pulled, gently, enough to make her feel that tug all the way through her, between her legs, where she knew she was so hot and wet for him.
“Bed, please.”
It was a plea this time, and Harrison swept her up into his arms, carrying her as if she weighed nothing. He laid her down on the bed and slowly, deliberately, peeled the jeans off her.
“I love your legs, Leigh. I love everything about you. You’re so beautiful. I love your body so much, I missed it so much. I missed touching you.”
Leigh made herself stop thinking, made her mind silence all of those terrible questions, and she let herself feel as he touched her, stroked her legs, his fingers circling her ankles after pulling her jeans off. He stroked her up her legs, pausing at her knees to stroke her behind her knees with his thumbs. When she shivered, he kissed her there, licked her, and she moaned his name.
“Harrison…”
“I will. I will take you. You’re mine, Leigh. I’ll make you mine again.”
Leigh couldn’t help the way her body responded to the possessiveness so evident in his voice. It made her feel so needed, so powerful. She could make him feel like that. She was the only one who could make him feel like that.
He stroked her thighs, and she looked down to see his tanned hands on her dark skin, the contrast so erotic and powerful to her eyes.
She gasped as he spread her legs and stroked her inner thighs, up and down, steadily and slowly. His eyes were on her, where she was parted for him, exposed to him, wet and ready for him.
“I love your body. You’re so wet, baby. I missed you, I missed touching you. I missed knowing how I could make you feel.”
And he touched her, his fingertips stroking over her center where she needed his touch so desperately, and Leigh gasped, her back arching off the bed.
“So responsive. You’ve always been so responsive, Leigh,” he whispered, and he parted her wet, slick lips to find the little nub of flesh that she needed him to touch, that she needed him to stroke and caress until she could lose herself in the pleasure only he could give her.
“Harrison, please…”
He touched it, pressed it lightly, and watched as Leigh’s fingers tried to find purchase in the sheets, clenching and reaching. He stroked her again, and again, until finally, he slipped two fingers deep inside her, and stroked her with his thumb.
“Harrison…”
“I want to see you. I want to know I can make you scream in pleasure. I want to watch you come, Leigh. Then you can have me inside you.”
His fingers were relentless, driving her on, and Leigh closed her eyes tight, threw her head back, and embraced the pleasure that he insisted she take. The climax rippled through her in nearly endless waves, and before she had recovered, she felt the hard length of Harrison’s body over her.
He pushed her legs up, hooking his arms around her knees, and she felt his hard, thick, long shaft between her legs. He moved, stroking her so intimately with his male hardness, and Leigh knew she wasn’t done.
“Harrison…”
“Mine, Leigh. You’re mine,” he said, and she felt his thick head probing, finding her tight, wet entrance, and she was held prisoner by him as he took his time, entering her slowly, drawing back, entering her again, until she was nearly sobbing for him to take her.
Finally, he could take no more teasing, either. His need for release was so great that he didn’t know how he had managed to hold on for so long. He drove into Leigh, in one strong thrust, and she cried out, pulling him to her to kiss him long and hard.
“Leigh… I don’t know how long…”
“I want you. I want you to come inside me.”
Leigh didn’t know where the words had come from. She wasn’t sure if she could question them.
But his thrusts became harder, faster, more and more desperate, and she knew she needed it. Whatever happened in the future, she needed that night.
She screamed his name again as everything inside her clenched, coiled, and shattered. This time, she held him close and felt his body tense, go rigid, and she felt the warmth of his seed filling her.
He whispered her name, over and over again, as his body jerked and shuddered over hers.
They held on to each other as if they were both afraid of what would happen if they let go. They couldn’t let go.
But then, Leigh felt the cold breeze, and she felt her body begin to cool, and she wondered what she had done. She wondered why she had done it.
And she wondered what difference she’d thought it could possibly make.
Harrison didn’t seem to notice her misgivings now that the frenzy was over and cold, hard sense was returning to her.
“Leigh, I’m so glad you came back to me. I’m so glad you thought about it and decided that we’re better together. I’m so glad.”
“Harrison…”
“I don’t have the ring on me right now, but I can get it when we get up. It might take me a little while, though. You really pushed me hard tonight, my demanding little darling.”
Leigh’s heart started beating faster. She went completely still, but inside her, there was a storm. But not the one that had been raging when she’d come in, looking for Harrison.
No, that had settled.
“Harrison… This doesn’t mean that I want to get engaged.”
There, the words were out. They needed to be said, and now they’d been said.
“Leigh, what do you mean? You came here. You came back to me.”
Slowly, Leigh pulled away, and for once, she felt uncomfortable with her nudity in front of Harrison. She grabbed a sheet and pulled it up to cover herself.
Sitting up, pushing her hair out of the way, Leigh sighed.
“I know. I came because I missed you. Because I needed you. I was confused and needed to know how I felt. And I do love you, Harrison, but I can’t get engaged now. Please, don’t you understand?”
Harrison frowned, and comfortable with his nakedness unlike her, he sat up without making any effort to cover himself up.
“No, I don’t see why getting engaged would be such a big problem, Leigh. I’m not saying that we must hold a wedding now. We can wait for that. But you are committed to me, aren’t you? We made a commitment to each other. That’s what this always was. It was never just an affair. I love you.”
Leigh nodded, praying that he would be reasonable.
“Yes, it’s a commitment. Why do you need a ring to make the commitment real? Isn’t it real enough now?”
Harrison shook his head slowly.
“You’re trying to turn it around on me, Leigh. It’s not like that. You have so many other pressures, a
nd I understand. Being engaged, having that to hold on to, it would make a difference. I know it would make a difference to me. I don’t see why you cannot understand that it might make a difference to you, too.”
Leigh moved away a little and shook her head again.
“It’s too much, Harrison. Being engaged is… It comes with more responsibilities. I need you to be there for me, without making those demands. I know it’s not fair, but I need that right now. Won’t you please try to understand? Please?”
She knew she was begging, and she hated it, but what else could she do?
What option did she have?
“Leigh,” said Harrison, carefully, “why did you come here tonight?”
Leigh tried to find the right words.
But the only words she had were the truth.
“Because I love you, Harrison. Because I don’t want to lose you.”
“But you wanted a break. Do you still want a break?”
Leigh took a deep, shaky breath, trying to find something to calm her down.
But he looked so intent, as if he were entirely focused on what she had to say, and she had a feeling that he might not like what she had to say. What would she do if he turned her down?
What would she do if he refused to hear what she had to say, if he couldn’t understand why she couldn’t give him what he wanted?
“I don’t want a break, Harrison, but I don’t want to get engaged now, either.”
Harrison’s eyes still had that look she had seen a few times before. He looked at antagonists that way. Leigh had never been his antagonist, not in any way that mattered, ever before. It broke her heart that he looked at her as if she was.
“Why not?”
Leigh closed her eyes for a moment, and turned away.
How could she make him understand, when she couldn’t find the words to herself, either? All the warmth and heat between them had dissipated. Now it felt like a cold business negotiation.
“It’s too much pressure,” Leigh whispered, finally.
“How is it pressure to make a commitment, a public and firm commitment, to me? To us? How is that pressure, Leigh?”
Leigh looked around wildly as if she could find a way out somewhere. But there was no way out.
“Because it would be public, and it would be irrevocable, as an engagement is meant to be!”
Harrison’s face hardened, and Leigh’s heart trembled.
This was going wrong.
It was all going wrong. She should never have come. It had all been a huge mistake.
“So, you want to be able to revoke it, Leigh? Is this a game to you? Because I assure you, I’ve been serious all along – deadly serious. I made a commitment to you when I told you that I loved you. I chose to deal with all problems that might arise from it, and I knew there would be problems. I knew there would be a lot of work to do, trying to convince Martha and Samuel that this wasn’t wrong. I knew there would be intrusions from the press, and that tabloids would have a field day. I even knew that you would find life difficult in that more public life, because you haven’t been used to it. I thought you would deal with it because this mattered to you. Because you loved me. I didn’t realize that your love was revocable.”
Leigh shook her head frantically. This was really going wrong.
“You don’t understand, Harrison! It’s just a lot to have hanging over my head. You don’t know what it’s like to be recognized as your girlfriend first, and be judged for it before I can present myself on my merits. I can never escape preconceived notions about myself because I am known as your girlfriend. If we get engaged, that will blow up. I will never be able to stand or fall on my merits. Some will want to know me because I’m your fiancé. Some will never take me seriously because I am. Either way, it will change perceptions of me, when I really need to make my own name. I can’t do that if I’m engaged to you.”
But Harrison didn’t soften. In vain, Leigh looked for anything to show that he understood why this was important to her. But there was nothing. He looked so cold and remote that Leigh tugged the sheet tighter around herself.
“So, I’m an impediment to your plans,” said Harrison, and the velvety softness of his voice was a warning.
Leigh heard it, and her heart fluttered.
Was there no way out of this?
“Harrison, please…”
“What about after you graduate, Leigh? When will you deem yourself ready to be a part of my life? When will who I am stop being a problem for you?”
Leigh shook her head again.
“Harrison, please, you’re distorting this. That’s not what I meant. I just meant…”
“I know exactly what you meant,” said Harrison, cutting her off, his voice whip sharp enough to make her flinch.
“Harrison…”
“No, Leigh. I believe I’ve had enough of this. If I’m a problem to you, then I’m sorry. But that will not change. If you’re a part of my life, then I will be a part of your identity. If you find that too difficult to navigate, then we can go nowhere. None of this can go anywhere.”
Leigh shook her head again, in denial of what she was hearing. This could not be true.
This could not be happening.
She had driven there, in the middle of the night, because she needed him. He had needed her, too. They loved each other.
But now, Harrison looked as if that love had died and turned to ashes. He looked at her with something close to contempt, and Leigh could feel her heart beginning to break.
This couldn’t be happening, she told herself again, but she knew it was. It was all too real.
“I think you were right, Leigh. I think we do need a break from each other.”
The finality in his words and his voice told Leigh the real truth – he wanted that break to be permanent, because he was closing his heart to her.
“Harrison, please, just give me some time to find my feet. That’s all I’m asking. All of this has been a huge change for me. I just need to find my balance before trying to balance more. That’s all I’m asking from you.”
Harrison nodded.
“I do understand, Leigh. That’s why the break, that you suggested, is a good idea. I didn’t see it then, but now I do. I, too, need some time to evaluate where this is going, and how much I can invest in a revocable commitment.”
Leigh’s lips trembled, and she knew the tears would come soon. She managed to hold them off, ruthlessly cutting them off, and made sure that her voice was steady.
But her fingers tightened until the blood seemed to leave her knuckles, and her nails dug into the palms of her hands. Later, she would find the small half-moon marks, with the broken skin, but at that moment, Leigh didn’t even feel that hurt.
All she knew was that she had to hold on, somehow, and not break down, even if she felt like her world was crumbling.
“I don’t mean that it’s a revocable commitment, Harrison. You know I don’t. I know I’ve hurt you, but I’m not saying no. Or that I’ll never say yes. I’m guaranteeing you that I will say yes, but after I find my balance. I feel like I’m juggling so much already. I’m just beginning to get the hang of it. Everything will tilt and shift if something so big changes.”
Harrison nodded.
“I’m agreeing with you, Leigh, and apparently that doesn’t make you happy, either. That makes me wonder if there’s any way I can get it right at all. If everything I say or do makes you unhappy, what’s the point of it at all?”
Leigh squeezed her eyes shut, telling herself, fiercely, that she would not cry. She would not.
She would not let this be the end.
“I know you. I know how you feel about commitments. I know how you feel about what you consider giving ground. I don’t want you to see this as a business negotiation. Harrison, I love you. Can’t you see that? I love you!”
Harrison nodded.
“I know. You’ve told me that before. You love me. But you need a break from me.”
; “I just need…”
Leigh trailed off, knowing that there was no point. She wouldn’t be able to find the words to make him understand, because he didn’t want to understand. Harrison was bullheaded. She had always known that, of course.
They had butted heads often growing up, even if they’d gotten along so well.
“I can’t explain any better. You’re right. We do need a break. I’ve made you unhappy. I never meant to do that, Harrison. I never meant to give you anything but happiness. Maybe with some distance, we can get past the resentment.”
Harrison nodded again, politely.
Oh, so politely. Leigh knew that her chance of reaching him had slipped away.
She was losing him.
“I’m sure we can try. Now, Leigh, I’m sure you’ll need to get up early and go back to campus. I’ll sleep in the guest room. Good night.”
Leigh could only watch as he got up and walked away, still completely at ease with his nakedness. Leigh could only watch, knowing he might be walking away from her.
Chapter 8
It was the longest drive of Leigh’s life, even if technically it was only a couple of hours. She’d made that drive so many times now, but this time, knowing that it might be the last, was more difficult than she could’ve imagined.
Maybe she was being a bit dramatic. She still had friends, and family, in the city. She just wouldn’t be driving back from Harrison’s condo.
It was strange to think of how that place had become home. It had become their place – where they could be with each other, forget the world outside. She had never felt unwelcome there until late that night.
Which was why Leigh had found herself getting out of bed at four in the morning and leaving, trying to choke back tears, because she hadn’t been able to sleep. She had felt like she was intruding into Harrison’s very private and personal space.
So, she had packed herself, and her bruised and battered heart, and made her way back to campus, which, she tried to tell herself, was home, too. It was home.
Being Harrison Bloom's Girl (That Forbidden Love Book 2) Page 8