Her gaze lingered on the bullet scars on his chest. “Why don’t you ever try to protect him? Zach, I mean? You’re his brother. Shouldn’t you jump to his defense?”
“I love Zach.” Patton’s voice was low, thoughtful. “But he’s had a lot of girlfriends.”
“Like how many?”
Patton shook his head. “A lot... And some not so long ago.”
“Did he ever bring these girls home?” Cady asked.
Patton shook his head.
“Did he ever say he loved them?”
Patton shook his head again. “I’m not saying he doesn’t care about Bianca. I think he does. But marriage? No.”
Cady watched Patton’s face, hesitating before she asked, “Is this because of your engagement? That you’re not a fan of the whole weddings and marriage thing?”
He lifted an eyebrow. “No.”
She waited but he just looked at her. “O-okay.” They didn’t need to bond over their thoughts and opinions on marriage, they just needed to work toward the common goal. “So, the shower. It can’t be too overt. I don’t want this to all fall apart and lose my best friend in the process. And I’m pretty sure you want to piss off as few people as possible.”
He nodded. “Will your parents come?” he asked.
Where did that come from? “I hope not.” She shook her head. “They’re not invited.”
There was no denying the surprise on his face. “They’re not?”
“I haven’t seen my parents in a few years...” She thought about it. “They stopped in Dallas for a layover and we had dinner.”
“You had dinner? A few years ago?” he asked. “I have dinner with my entire family once a week. And when I mean entire I mean anyone who can claim any distant sort of relation gets fed.”
Cady believed him. “We’re more the drop-me-a-postcard-when-you’re-coming-to-town type.” She shrugged.
His gaze searched her face, the scrutiny a little too intense for her liking.
“We’re different,” she added. “Not all families like to get together, Patton.”
His gaze didn’t waver, and he still didn’t say anything.
“I had unlimited funds and a great boarding school education, but I never had parents. They were always off, having great adventures, together or with whoever they were seeing at the moment.”
Patton frowned. “Why not divorce?”
“Why bother? An open marriage suited them. They live their lives the way they want to. My grandparents have lived separately for years, and they claim to be happy. It seems to be working for my parents, too. The real question is why get married? Ever?” She forced a smile, trying not to feel hollow inside.
Patton stared at her, his expression unreadable.
“Bianca was the first person to notice when I stayed out all night or had a bad day. She was—is—my family. Her family may not have had much money, but they gave generously of their time and affection.” She paused. She’d never really told anyone that before, except Bianca. And she didn’t know why she was telling him. She drew in a deep breath, quickly adding, “You know how that is, I guess. I went with Bianca to pick up your mother’s wedding dress, which is gorgeous by the way, and saw all the pictures. It’s obvious you grew up in a happy home with parents who are proud of you.”
“I guess I did. Dad wasn’t exactly the warm-fuzzy type—”
“Huh, go figure,” she interrupted, grinning at him.
His foot poked out from under the blanket and nudged her. “But there was never a doubt that we were loved.”
“It must have been hard on them.” She nodded at his scars.
“It was.” He stiffened, his expression shuttering before her eyes. “Not because of this.” He tapped the two scars. “But because this happened when Russ was killed.”
“I’m sorry, Patton. I’m so sorry.” She threaded her fingers with his, not sure what to do or say.
He glanced at her hand, then his gaze met hers. She’d never seen so much grief. Listening to him, she felt his pain and sadness. “I won’t lie, it was the worst damn day of my life. Russ worked narcotics with me. He was undercover, a real natural...” He shook his head. “I was in charge of the operation—a sting, nothing unusual. We had it covered, we knew what to expect—how many we were up against. But our intel was wrong and Russ was there... He shouldn’t have been there.” He paused. “Someone got jumpy and bullets started flying. Russ bled out on the way to the hospital. Another officer died at the scene. Everyone kept telling me how lucky I was. All I could think about was my brother...and my parents crying.”
She didn’t think as she dropped the sheet to hold him close. “It’s not your fault. You know that, right? I mean...” She stopped. She had no idea what she was talking about. She stroked the side of his face, murmuring, “You are lucky.”
“To be alive? I know.” His hands clasped her upper arms, pulling her tight against him. “Right now, I’m feeling pretty damn lucky.” His voice was a low growl. His mouth latched on to her bottom lip. “You make me feel alive, Cady.”
She knew exactly how he felt. Her body reacted instantly to him. She wanted him, again—still. Which meant she wasn’t cured of her Patton addiction. But was he cured? That strange nervousness made her heart thump like crazy. “So this didn’t work?” she asked between kisses.
“What?”
“You’re not...tired of me?” she asked.
He barked out a laugh. “Tired?” he asked, rolling her under him. He rested on his elbow and pulled the blanket back. His gaze traveled slowly from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. When he was done, he shook his head and flopped onto his back—his breathing accelerated again.
She turned onto her side, running her fingernails along his side, hip and thigh. His instant arousal impressed her. Especially considering the last few hours. But she understood. She wanted him again, too, badly. “We can’t keep doing this.”
“I know,” he agreed. “It’s a distraction. One we don’t need.”
How could she ache for him when he was right beside her? It was time to be done, to cut off this addiction they had for each other. “No more.”
He nodded, his attention fixed on her lips. “One last time,” he said, meeting her gaze.
She couldn’t stand it then. “One last time,” she murmured, kissing him with a desperation she’d never felt before. His arms caught her, pressing her tightly to him. She slid on top of him, groaning as her body enveloped him. His hands gripped her hips, arching into her until there was no space between them.
“You’re going to kill me,” he ground out.
“Die happy,” she sighed, rolling her hips.
His broken “Cady” pushed her higher. His hands and mouth roved over her body. His hands tangled in her hair, pulling her down. When she moved, his tongue pushed into her mouth, mimicking the actions of their bodies.
Their lovemaking was hard and fast, both of them shouting their releases before collapsing into a heap on the bed. But Patton caught her to him, cradling her against his chest in a way that clutched at her core. The beating of his heart beneath her ear, the way he breathed deep in her hair... She was entering foreign territory here, and it scared the crap out her.
She drew in a deep breath, hoping to relax, when he asked quietly, “Work from home often?”
“Sometimes,” she murmured. “No more than a couple of days a week.”
“I’m guessing you spend more of your time in here,” he continued.
How did he know? “Why?” she asked.
“The apartment. This is the only room that’s...you.” His hand stroked her back. “The rest is impersonal, neutral—like you don’t want to let people see the real you.” He pointed around the room. “This. Colorful, welcoming, comfortable and not nearly as together as
you’d like the world to think,” he finished.
She swallowed. “Um, is there a compliment in there somewhere? ’Cause I think I missed it.”
“It wasn’t meant as an insult. I guess I’m wondering why you let me in?” he asked, staring down at her.
“I don’t know.” She frowned, realization hitting her hard. “Other than Bianca, no one else has ever been in this room.” She regretted the words as soon as she said them. She didn’t know why it mattered, but it did.
His gaze was heavy, unwavering...piercing.
Panic set in. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want emotions getting in the way, dammit. But, right now, her emotions were freaking her out. Yes, he’d done things to her body, made her feel things that no one else ever had. Somehow, it was more than that. For the first time in her life, her heart was involved, and it scared the shit out of her. She’d spent her whole life guarding herself, preventing herself from feeling any misguided and sentimental crap for a man. But none of that seemed to matter now. Because even though she’d never fallen in love before, she was pretty sure falling in love with a man she had nothing in common with was a very bad idea.
Wait... Love? With Patton? No. No way in hell she was going to let that happen. She was doing just fine on her own. Hell, she liked being on her own. She ignored the sharp pain in her chest and pushed out of his arms. She didn’t need him. Without a backward glance, she hurried into the bathroom. “Shower,” she called out before closing the door and having a panic attack.
* * *
PATTON STOOD OVER the grill, flipping the hot dogs and hamburgers while his brother and cousins debated the same old things—whose truck was better, which football team was better, what beer was better and what his mother had made for dessert. She never told anyone, just to see what they came up with.
He’d always been the big brother to them—too big to be part of the group and too mature to want to be. Zach and Spence had always been supercompetitive. His cousins, Dean and Jared, were about the same age. They’d grown up three blocks over and, ever since they could ride bikes, the four of them had been getting into trouble. Five when Russ was around. Russ had always been good at finding trouble. When Spence and Russ joined the force, Jared and Dean joined with them. Every task, every test and every certification had been a contest. But when Spence and Russ went into narcotics, Jared and Dean had followed their father into homicide.
“Don’t forget about my meatless patties,” Lucy said, putting a plate beside him.
“Like you’d let that happen?” he asked, smiling at his cousin.
Lucy was Dean and Jared’s little sister. She was a character—strong willed and vocal. But that was probably because she was the only girl amongst very loud, very rambunctious male cousins. Even outnumbered, she almost always got her way. She smiled broadly. “Thanks for cooking. I brought an extra in case you want to try one?”
“No, thanks. It’s not a burger without meat,” he argued. “Even Mikey would know that.”
Mikey raised his head off his paws to look at his master, his tail thumping.
“No food,” Patton said. “Not yet, Mikey.”
Mikey yawned and rested his head on his paws again, looking bored.
“I bet Mikey would think they’re yummy,” Lucy cooed at the dog, going to sit by the large yellow lab that was, truly, Patton’s best friend.
Mikey rolled over, offering Lucy his stomach.
“He has a real eye for the ladies.” Patton laughed at his dog’s antics.
“Don’t burn those,” his mother called out as she walked by, carrying a bowl with a mountain of potato salad.
“Yes, ma’am.” No point in arguing with her. He knew what he was doing. He’d been the grill master since his father’s death, and he’d yet to burn a piece of meat.
“Don’t you sass me,” his mother shot back.
He smiled. He needed this—the normalcy and routine. He needed a few hours of no drama, no work and no distractions—
“Bianca’s here,” Zach called as he hurtled out the back gate and headed toward the street.
Patton looked through the gate to see Cady’s little gray sports car parking along the curb. His hand tightened on the spatula, and his chest felt heavy.
“Is that Cady’s car?” his mother asked. “Spence, go get her. We need to put some meat on that girl’s bones.” She walked over to Patton, watching Spence head toward the gate. “I think Cady might just hit it off with your brother. What do you think?”
It was a good thing his mother was staring after Spence, otherwise she’d pick up on his disposition. He’d been in decent spirits—almost chipper. But now that he was thinking about Spence and Cady, his mood took a nosedive. He speared one of the hot dogs with too much force, knocking it off the grill and onto the grass. Mikey snapped it up in a heartbeat.
“Who’s Cady?” Lucy perked up.
Patton glanced at her. Great, she’d seen his little outburst. He had no doubt his cousin, the psychiatrist for Greyson Police Department, was analyzing the shit out of him. He glared at her as she hopped up and headed to the fence to join his mother. He sighed.
“What’s up?” Dean asked.
“The hot chick is here,” Jared informed his brother. “The one I danced with at the engagement party.”
Dean snorted. “I danced with her, too.”
Patton flipped a burger and took a long swig of his beer.
“Is she dating anyone?” Dean asked him.
“Why would I know?” he asked.
“You’ve spent a hell of a lot of time with them the last couple of weeks. If she was seeing someone, that would have come up by now,” Jared jumped in.
He’d seen a lot of her—he’d seen all of her. “Not that I know of,” Patton muttered, lifting some burgers from the grill and putting them on a platter. “Why don’t you make yourself useful?” He offered the tray to Jared.
Jared took it, eyebrows high. “Sure, no problem.”
He heard Dean’s whispered “What’s eating him?” but ignored it. He didn’t like being moody any more than his cousins did. When the garden gate squeaked, he tried not to look up. Maybe it was only Zach and Bianca. Cady could have turned down Spence. He really hoped she had. Hopefully, she was just dropping Bianca off and was heading to her apartment.
He glanced up to find Cady shaking hands with his cousin Jared. Jared, who was making a fool of himself over Cady.
Seeing her shouldn’t make him feel this way. Happy, relieved and excited. He slapped the spatula against a burger. He had no right to feel any of those things. He’d seen the panic on her face when they crossed the line from playful to...intimate. Not intimate as in sex, but intimate as in baring their scars and thoughts to each other. She didn’t want to go there with him. Her confession, words that had shaken him to the core, had her practically running into her bathroom. He’d sat there, happier than he’d been in years, waiting for her to come out. But her shower had lasted forever, and he knew what she was doing. She wanted him to go. He’d tugged on his clothes and left, hoping he’d get used to the hole in his chest and the pain twisting his stomach. Whatever feelings he was having, they’d go away in time. For now he should be happy she wasn’t out and about, being available.
Then again, his mom was assessing Cady, clearly sizing her up for one of the Ryan men. And Spence... Well he couldn’t exactly blame his little brother for appreciating just how appealing Cady was. She was all woman, her navy sundress with big white polka dots showing off just how feminine and pretty she was. He admired her ankles, her bright red shoes and the creamy skin of her calves.
He blew out a long, slow breath and turned his attention back to the grill. He had to keep it together. His family would bombard him with questions if he let on that he was...interested in Cady. He slapped Lucy’s burgers on the gri
ll and patted the nonmeat into place with vigor.
“Patton, you okay?” his mother asked.
“Great. Jared took the burgers to the table,” he spoke without looking up. “Hot dogs are ready.” He handed her the pan with hot dogs.
His mother took the pan but stared at him. “What’s eating you?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Patton Joshua Ryan, I know when something’s weighing on you—”
“I’m fine, Mom,” he said, holding up both hands—and his spatula. “No need to use the middle name.”
But his mother stood her ground, her brow furrowed and her mouth in a small, tight frown.
“You’re in trouble,” Zach said as he, Bianca, Spence and Cady approached. “Middle names are like curse words—you hear them, you better start running.”
“And whose middle name did we hear most often?” Patton asked, glancing at his brother.
“Yeah, Zachary David?” Spence asked.
“Oh, really, we’re going to go there, Spencer Lee?” Zach bit back.
Their mother was laughing now. “All right, all right.” She shook her head. “You’re too young to act so serious, Patton.” She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Don’t be such a bear all the time.”
He knew she meant well, but he also knew that if he wasn’t serious—if he wasn’t the head of the family—things would fall apart. It had nothing to do with ego and everything to do with responsibility. His father had relied on him as a man, not a boy. And his brothers had always looked up to him as a role model, not a friend.
“How are you, Patton?” Bianca hugged him.
“Good. Probably smell like barbecue,” he said as he hugged her awkwardly with one arm. He shot a questioning glance at Zach. He wasn’t exactly a hugger by nature—something his brother knew well. Zach just smiled.
“Looks good.” Bianca stood there, looking uncomfortable. “Can I do anything?”
“Nope,” he answered. “Got this down to an art.”
Bianca nodded, glancing at Zach, who shrugged.
Seducing the Best Man (Wild Wedding Nights #1) Page 11