by Erin Wright
He held it out of her reach with a teasing smile. “I do believe that I deserve a hello kiss for this,” he said, and swept her into his arms. She looked up at him, her deep blue eyes glowing.
“That’s an offer I wouldn’t dare refuse,” she whispered, and then he was lowering his mouth to hers and she tasted so damn good. So damn delicious. Like apples and sunshine and life, all wrapped up into one. He began nibbling his way down her throat.
“You know,” he murmured, swirling his tongue against the hollow of her throat where her pulse beat fast, “we could just stay here and eat each other for dinner…”
She giggled and pulled away. “No getting out of dinner that easily,” she said scoldingly. “And, you better come all the way in before you let all the heat out, and the outside cats in.” There was a calico cat winding its way around Declan’s feet, obviously hoping for a little attention. Declan patted it on the head and then went inside, closing the door against the nippy fall air. It was going to be winter soon. There was that feel in the air that hadn’t been there just days earlier.
Iris sat down in a rocking chair close to the door, her braided gold and reddish brown hair spilling in a fat braid over her shoulder. Declan handed the present over to her and then held his breath. Hopefully she loved it just as much as he thought she would. Women’s clothing was always so hard to buy.
“Ohhhhh…” she breathed softly as she pulled the cashmere sweater out of the box. “Declan, it’s so beautiful!”
He grinned in relief. “I thought it matched your eyes,” he said proudly. The cashmere was exactly the color of her eyes when she was happy and laughing. He looked closer at her as she held it up against herself, and noticed that there were dark circles underneath those eyes. Despite the brilliance of her smile, she looked…exhausted?
Why was she exhausted?
“You doin’ okay, Cookie?” he asked, kneeling down next to her. Suddenly, he felt uncomfortable looming over her while she was resting in her rocking chair. “You seem a little tired or somethin’.”
“I’m fine,” she said with a wave of her hand. He stared at her doubtfully and in complete silence. Finally, she couldn’t stand it any longer and blurted out, “I’m just not used to sitting all the time, is all. As an RN, I hardly ever sat while on shift. Now, that’s all I do. My legs and back are tired of sitting, but I can’t exactly buy a standing or a walking desk, now can I?”
“A what or a what?” he asked, confused.
“A standing desk. You stand at it. A walking desk has a treadmill that goes real slow and you walk as you work. They’re both much better for you than just sitting all day.” She waved her hand in the air again dismissively. “Obviously neither of those work for me. I just have to get used to it. It’ll be fine. Let me go put on this sweater so we can go eat.” She struggled to her feet, ignoring his offer to help her up, and strode from the room as quickly as her legs and brain injury and cane would allow her.
He sat back on his hindquarters, staring sightlessly down at Milk as she wound her way around his body, begging for some pettings. To see someone as amazing as Iris McLain get beat by something like that…
It just didn’t sit right with him. Surely there had to be something they could do.
He stood up, putting his shoulders back. It was time for him to swallow his pride and ask Jennifer for help. She was busy, what with the baby and the accounting firm, but he knew she was sweet enough to want to spend the time to help him anyway, if only because she’d know how much it’d mean to Iris.
He wouldn’t tell her the truth, of course, but he’d ask her for help doing searches on Google. She didn’t need to know that he ran a computer just fine…as long as it was numbers he was manipulating. Excel was his friend. But he’d pretend computer stupidity if it meant getting help for his Iris.
My Iris.
He petted Milk softly as he thought about that phrase. She was his. She’d been his for years…until he’d been so stupid as to give her up.
No, he needed to be truthful with himself – he forced her away. He told her he didn’t want her anymore. It was a miracle she’d agreed to go out on one date with him, let alone dozens. Let alone let him take her to bed. She shouldn’t have, not really, and to think that he’d thought himself so benevolent that he’d go out on a “pity date” with her…
Well, that was one secret he’d take to the grave with him. He was pretty sure that if she knew he’d had that thought, she’d find her father’s pistol and put him out of his misery. You didn’t pity Iris McLain. Not if you knew what was good for you.
She came back into the living room and struck a pose. “What do you think?” she asked, holding her arm out to the side to show off the soft cashmere fabric draping over her luscious body.
My Iris indeed. As long as I don’t screw this up.
Chapter 22
Iris
She eased into the kitchen chair, trying to stretch out the muscles in her legs and jiggle some life back into them. It was break time from coding, and she needed to do something that didn’t involve a computer screen. Which meant, of course, that she was working on a cane.
She picked up the long piece of pine that her dad had brought back from his last hunt; he’d gone out for an elk hunt but had picked up some branches for her, too. After curing and straightening them for her, it was then up to her to make something beautiful out of them.
This particular stick was turning out exceptionally well, with the pattern of the wood showing through nicely. The warm honey glow of the pine made it feel like a warm lap blanket you could snuggle down with…a lap blanket that happened to be made out of pine, of course.
She looked up from her carving to peer out the kitchen window into the white expanse outside. Winter had hit, and with a vengeance. It’d been snowing most of the day, which was both so peaceful to watch as the snowflakes slowly drifted down, and depressing as hell.
Because this meant that it would be the big sledding party over at the Miller’s house today. Her eyes flicked to her phone and then back out the window again. It was white and peaceful and beautiful as far as the eye could see. The old Iris, the six-months-ago Iris, would’ve been throwing on snow pants and boots, going outside into the white world with her sled, heading over to the Miller place so she could join the throngs of people enjoying the best sledding hill in the county.
The Iris of six months ago was damn spoiled, and hadn’t even realized it.
Her willpower broke, and she snatched up her phone, opening the Facebook app and scrolling through for the event invitation. Sure enough, on the Long Valley Facebook page, Jennifer had posted an open invitation to anyone in Long Valley to come sled in their backyard. Iris hadn’t been home for one of the Miller sledding parties in years, but she could still remember how amazing Carmelita’s hot cocoa was, and how much fun that hill was.
She closed her eyes, ignoring the hot prick of…water in her eyes. They were just tired from trying to concentrate on a computer screen for hours on end. And anyway, what was she thinking, looking at her phone while on her break? The whole point of her break was not to look at a computer. She couldn’t give into temptation like that again. She had to just keep going. No point in looking back.
No point in wishing for what she couldn’t have. She turned back to the walking-stick-in-the-making in front of her. She could make beautiful canes and walking sticks. This was something she could do. And she loved doing it.
And that would just have to be good enough.
She swallowed hard.
Ugh.
Things she loved…like Declan Miller.
Even now, after a month and a half of being with him (this time around, anyway), she couldn’t understand what he saw in her. Didn’t he look at her and wish for his old Iris back? Didn’t he wonder what life could’ve been like, if she hadn’t been so tired one night?
And what did he think was going to happen? Where was their relationship going? She’d still never gathered up the coura
ge to force him to tell her why he’d broken up with her to begin with. The real reason. She didn’t believe, not for one second, that he suddenly felt a burning desire to attend the U of I because they had a better ag program. That was total bullshit, and she knew it.
But even if she somehow found her backbone at some point – and a large part of her knew she needed to, and pronto – and the reason he gave was rational – although she couldn’t begin to guess what a rational reason could be, and she’d had a lot of years to spend guessing – they still couldn’t get married. He couldn’t marry Iris. Maybe he just hadn’t thought about it. Maybe this was just some sort of fun fling until he found someone he could really marry and have kids with.
Because God only knew, she wasn’t that person. She couldn’t climb into his pickup truck without him helping her in, and every time he did, she was still afraid she was going to fall on her head and get a second brain injury on the console.
And that was just his truck! She couldn’t grow a garden. She couldn’t can green beans. She couldn’t go help him stack hay bales in preparation for winter. She couldn’t even bake cookies without practically setting the house on fire.
She couldn’t be a farmer’s wife. And someday, Declan was going to wise up and figure that out.
And she was gonna be in a world of hurt when he did.
And yet somehow, she couldn’t make herself break up with him. Even though she knew, absolutely knew without a doubt, that it’d be the smart thing to do.
For someone who prided herself on being intelligent, she sure was acting dumb.
Chapter 23
Declan
He pulled up to Iris’ house, his stomach in knots. He hadn’t been this nervous since he’d first asked Iris out on a date all those weeks ago. Their pity date. He rolled his eyes at himself. How dumb he’d been back then.
But now…he had something he really thought Iris would love. It was going to be awesome. He was excited and nervous and happy and wound up tighter than an eight-day clock. If he knew his Iris – and he really thought he did – she was going to love this. Then, after he surprised her with the present, they could have a nice evening of watching movies and eating popcorn and snuggling on the couch.
Yup, tonight was gonna be a great night.
He grabbed the present off the passenger-side seat, this time wrapped by Jennifer. She’d helped him with this project, for which he was eternally grateful. If he’d been stuck on his own trying to figure it out…well, he wouldn’t have, plain and simple.
One of the outside cats came winding over, rubbing up against Declan’s legs, and he leaned down and petted it for a moment. For being an outside cat, it was in pretty good shape. The extra calories from Iris’ feedings must be helping.
He crunched through the snow, the package tucked under his arm. He raised his hand to knock on the door when it flew open and Iris sent him a huge grin. “Hey, darlin’,” she said, kissing him as he passed her and into the house. Dropping the package into her rocking chair, he pulled her up against the closed front door and snuggled her between his thighs.
He looked down at her and smiled. “Hi there, Cookie,” he breathed, and then took his sweet time kissing her. She tasted like chocolate and coffee, and when he pulled back, he asked her teasingly, “Enjoying your new chocolate-flavored coffee creamer?”
“You know it,” she said with a laugh. “You know, you really should stop buying me presents. I’m going to get spoiled.”
“Well, that’s just the way I like my girls.” He held his breath, wondering if she’d object to the term “my girls” but she didn’t bat an eyelash, instead sinking into the rocking chair and tugging on the gold, shimmery ribbon enclosing the package.
“It’s heavy,” she said absentmindedly, biting her lower lip in concentration as she worked to undo the wrapping.
“Thankfully the online store had free shipping, or it would’ve cost an arm and a leg to get it here,” he admitted cheerfully. In his humble opinion, online shopping was one of the best things to hit small rural communities. No more driving 90 minutes to Boise to buy obscure items.
And this was definitely an obscure item.
She pulled the box out and stared at it for a moment in bewilderment. “Hovr?” she asked. She tilted her head to the side, trying to figure out what she was holding. “What is this?” she finally asked, giving up and looking up at him.
“Jennifer helped me find it,” he said, pulling the strap and metal out of the box. “See this strap? It connects to the bottom side of your desk. It hangs down,” he held the strap up in the air to demonstrate, “and this metal bar with round pads on it? You put your feet on the pads and you can move them around. Basically, you’re walking without ever standing up from your desk!”
Horrifyingly, she burst into tears and threw herself into his arms. He patted her back awkwardly. Oh God, oh God, what do I do?
“I didn’t mean to upset you!” he said, patting her back furiously. Oreo was head-butting her leg, obviously upset that she was upset. “You said that you’re struggling with sitting all the time, and I thought this way, you could be sitting, but still moving. We first found those walking desks you’d talked about, but obviously that wasn’t going to work, and then we found this and we thought it’d be great and…please don’t cry!”
He was just contemplating getting down on his hands and knees and begging her to stop crying when she lifted her tear-stained face and looked at him.
“These are happy tears,” she informed him, laughing as she said it. She quickly sobered back up and said softly, “I can’t believe you did this – that you found this. Declan, it means so much to me.”
He leaned over and kissed her again, just lightly this time, and then wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “You know, you could warn a guy sometime that you’re spilling happy tears,” he grumped, but he couldn’t pretend to be upset for long. Her dazzling smile wouldn’t let him.
“C’mon,” she said, pulling away a little and tugging at his hand. “Are you going to install it for me?” But she must’ve moved too quickly without thinking about it, because she toppled over…and landed face first against his groin.
He had to admit, if only to himself, that this had to be the first time that her screwy balance was 100% a wonderful thing, in his humble opinion.
She pushed herself back up, breathless and red in the face. He was happy to note that her face quite brilliantly matched her hair.
All thoughts of installing the Hovr, of watching a movie or snuggling with Iris on the couch, flew right out of his head. Impulsively, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom.
It was time to show Iris McLain just how much he loved her.
Chapter 24
Iris
Once he’d carried her into her bedroom, he let her slide down the front of him, slowly, achingly, torturously. She could feel him, his erection straining against his jeans, and she grinned to herself. She’d never cop to it out loud, of course, but she had to admit that at least this one time, losing her balance had worked out quite nicely. If she’d known what Declan’s reaction was going to be, she might’ve managed to “accidentally” fall over onto his groin before now.
Well, better late than never.
She leaned in towards him and he mirrored her movements, obviously expecting a kiss. In a cheeky mood, though, Iris intentionally avoided his lips and instead landed her kiss on the side of his neck, just below his jawline. Declan chuckled and then immediately tilted his head to the side, opening his neck up further to her affections. He was obviously happy to receive kisses, no matter where they landed.
As she worked along his jawline with her lips and tongue, her hands worked equally hard to release the buttons of his shirt. One by one, the dastardly enclosures keeping him encased in his shirt popped free. She continued her kissing exploration as she tugged his shirt out of his Wranglers, and then worked her way over to the small dip at the base of his throat formed by
his collarbone, as she pulled the sleeves of his shirt down his thick arms.
“You like your girls spoiled,” she breathed, finally pulling her lips far enough away from his warm skin to speak. “Well, I like my boys equally as spoiled.”
Declan chuckled at her words as she resumed her downward progression of kisses. Her lips surrounded one of his flat nipples and she drew the sensitive flesh lightly into her mouth, letting her tongue play over the hardened bump, much like he loved to do to her. She heard him suck in a sharp breath and mentally patted herself on the back. It may’ve been years, but she still remembered how sensitive his nipples were.
“I think…I…could stand…to be spoiled…a little…” he managed to say, his breath short and ragged.
She moved downward, kissing along his bare chest. She slipped her fingers behind his belt, using the broad leather strap for support as she lowered herself uncertainly to her knees. She held tight to him for a moment, making sure she could support herself in the position she hadn’t been in since her accident.
When she managed to stay upright without feeling even a little tipsy, she felt pride spread through her veins. She really was getting better.
She continued to lay kisses on his skin, moving along the line of denim formed by his jeans, as her hands made quick work of his belt and then the fly.
Just as the top button slipped out, releasing the tension of the fabric, she felt his hand come to rest on top of her head. For just a moment, her body tensed at the touch, but she quickly realized that he wasn’t directing or forcing her, but instead was simply excited. Her shoulders relaxed and she felt a thrill run through her at the idea that despite all that was wrong with her body, he still wanted her.
Her lips explored lower, following the new v-shaped line of his open fly as she dug her fingers into his muscular ass. She groaned appreciatively against his skin; she didn’t know what he did to stay in such good shape, but whatever it was, she was in heaven.