“Mom,” I said, turning back to face her. “Do you think I made the right choice? When I decided to keep her?”
My mom’s eyes widened slightly at my words. We’d never discussed my change of heart that day in the hospital. I never knew how she felt about it.
“Honey,” she began slowly. “I think what really matters is whether you believe it was the right thing.”
“Most of the time, I do,” I said. “But there are times when I wonder if Audra would have been better for Lili. There are times when I question whether I was meant to be a mother at all.”
“You love your daughter,” she said.
“More than anything.”
“Then, you’re doing alright,” she smiled. “What makes a good mom isn’t living in the right place or providing a traditional family. It’s loving your child and doing everything you can to help them succeed. From what I can see, you’re doing that.”
“Thank you.”
My mom’s words filled me with warmth. I sat back in my chair and checked the time on the kitchen stove. It was almost nine which meant I had to meet Logan in an hour. Lillianna would be in bed by nine thirty, I hoped. I didn’t want to tell her where I was going.
“That’s the third time you’ve checked the clock,” my mom said.
“I’m meeting someone,” I explained. “After I put Lili to bed.”
“Someone?” Her eyebrows arched upward.
“Logan.”
“Ah.”
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she shrugged. “I’m just not surprised.”
“And why not?” I asked.
“You two never could stay away from each other.”
Twenty
Piper
At the bar, I considered which booth to sit in. Our usual table was just past the bar, up against the side wall, but the idea of sitting there made my skin crawl. That was where he told me he was leaving all those years ago. I didn’t want to relive that moment.
Instead, I chose a small table in the back. Only two chairs sat around it and there was no one in the vicinity. The closest patron was sitting at the end of the bar, a good twenty feet away. I pulled out a chair and sat down, wiping the sweat off my palms. I was more nervous than I’d been the night before.
Kellan’s felt different than Martello’s. At Martello’s we were just two old friends catching up. Sure, there was chemistry and tension, but nothing I couldn’t easily ignore. At Kellan’s, though? I knew I wouldn’t be able to deny my connection with Logan. Especially not after what happened the night before. The pub held too many implications, too many reminders of our time together.
When Logan walked inside, he spotted me immediately. The way he moved was enough to make my face flush. As he smiled, I couldn’t look away from his lips. I had to shake myself to stop remembering the way those lips felt against my skin. I gulped. It was going to be an interesting night.
“You made it,” he said as he sat down across from me.
“Of course, I did,” I smiled. “You didn’t think I’d show?”
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure,” he admitted. “I was worried you might regret last night.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I probably should, but I don’t.”
“I’ll get us some drinks,” he offered. “Usual?”
“Sure.”
He came back to the table less than two minutes later with our drinks in hand. He set mine down in front of me and I immediately picked it up to take a sip. I needed something to help relax me. The alcohol burned slightly as it slid down my throat and landed in my stomach. I took another gulp. Then another.
“Whoa,” Logan laughed. “Thirsty?”
“Nervous,” I admitted shyly.
“All of this is still so new, yet…”
“Really familiar?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he said.
“I know,” I nodded. “I keep thinking I have to speed off to class in the morning.”
Logan laughed and said. “Or that I have to run off to PT before we even make it to bed. Feels like a million years ago, doesn’t it?”
“Sometimes,” I said. “Other times, I think it all just happened. Like I never even left Bradberry.”
“Sometimes, I wish I didn’t.”
Logan’s voice was low and his face fell slightly. I knew something serious had crossed his mind, but I also knew he didn’t want to talk about it. I smiled and leaned against the table. Logan’s eyes flickered down to my chest for a fraction of a second. I grinned wider.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked him playfully.
“Well, I was thinking about something else, but now I have no idea what it was. All I can think about is how amazing you look right now,” he said.
“I do, don’t I?” I said, tucking my hair behind my ears.
“You have no idea.” Logan’s voice was rough and his eyes were boring holes in mine. I had forgotten just how much we could say without speaking.
I moved my foot slowly across the floor until it touched his. When I slid it gently up his leg, he closed his eyes and exhaled sharply.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he warned.
I smiled and leaned back. I finished my drink and got up to order another round. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked away. When I sat back down, he looked ready to pounce.
“What?” I asked innocently. Logan just smiled at me and drank his beer. We went through three more rounds, flirting and touching each other innocently. We talked about everything from the past to the future, all the while trying to control our urges.
After the fifth drink, I knew it was no use. We’d been in this situation before. I glanced around us to make sure no one was paying attention before I reached down and took Logan’s hand. I lifted it to my lips and slowly slide his middle finger inside my mouth.
“I want you,” he growled. “Now.”
I stood up and led the way to the back hallway where the bathrooms were. I glanced around again, making sure no one saw us slip away from the table. When we reached the bathrooms, I held my finger up telling him to wait while I pushed the door to the women’s room open. I looked in every stall to make sure they were empty. When I knew they were, I opened the door again and let Logan inside.
He didn’t wait until he was fully inside before his lips were on mine. I could taste the alcohol on his tongue and it made me feel even more intoxicated. Logan pushed me against the door and I slid my hand behind me to lock it quickly. Even drunk, I wanted to make sure we weren’t interrupted.
“Just like old times,” he whispered as he tore at the buttons on my blouse.
“Only better,” I moaned. He didn’t bother unhooking my bra. He just shoved the cups aside and took my nipple in his mouth. My hands were already frantically pulling at his pants. I had to feel him inside of me. I couldn’t want a second longer.
Once I pulled his cock free, he pulled me forward and pushed me gently against the sink. His hand reached under my skirt and pulled my panties down. They fell to my ankles. He pulled my unbuttoned blouse down so he could kiss my shoulders roughly.
He was inside me in an instant. I bit my lip to keep from screaming as my entire body rocked with pleasure. His kisses turned to bites as he thrusted harder. I could feel every inch of him. He pushed my skirt farther up so he could wrap his hand around my bare skin. God he felt so good. I had nearly forgotten how good sex with Logan was. Now I could hardly remember why I had left him that day.
He held onto me tightly with one hand while his other slid down to play with my clit. I couldn’t hold my moans in any longer.
I held onto the sink for dear life and moaned openly. Logan was breathing heavily behind me and I knew he was close. I pushed myself closer to him, wanting the moment to last forever. The slight shift in position coupled with Logan wildly stroking my sensitive skin made everything more intense. My skin was burning and my legs were shaking wildly. Logan was the only thing holding me up. My grip on the sink went s
lack as he pounded against me harder and harder.
I screamed as my orgasm washed over me, but Logan quickly covered my mouth and held onto me, both of us sweating profusely and breathing like we just ran a marathon. I leaned back against his chest while he raked his nails up and down my thighs. He lowered his head to lick the sweat off my body making me shiver.
He turned me around and pulled his pants up with one hand while he kissed me again. He kissed me hard and fast, his tongue desperately tasting mine. His hands gripped my breasts roughly and he growled into my mouth. He took a step forward, forcing my back against the sink. I could still feel the effects of my orgasm working their way through my body.
I pulled away quickly, pushing him backward with one hand. I exhaled sharply and pushed my sweaty curls out of my face with one hand while I held him away from me with the other.
“Stop,” I said weakly. “If you keep doing that, well never leave this bathroom. So, unless you want to go again…”
Logan laughed and yanked me back to him. He kissed me again, but stopped quickly. I moaned and grabbed the back of his head, pulling his lips back to mine. He pulled away gently, but I bit his lip and pulled him right back.
“Didn’t you just say we should stop?” he asked.
“I just can’t control myself when you’re around,” I said.
“I know the feeling,” he told me as I pulled my panties up and rebuttoned my shirt.
“I didn’t expect that to happen,” I laughed softly.
“Why not?” he asked. “It’s not like this bathroom hasn’t seen it before. Many, many times before.”
“Trust me,” I said. “I remember. I couldn’t forget if I tried.”
I was ninety-nine percent sure our daughter had been conceived in the bathroom at Kellan’s.
Twenty- One
Logan
Piper’s face changed in an instant. I frowned and wrapped my arms around her waist. Something was troubling her, but I was too drunk and exhausted to wonder what it was. I held her closer and waited for my breathing to return to normal. When it did, I took her hand and pulled her gently toward the door.
“Maybe another drink or two?” I asked. “Then I’ll walk you home?”
“Give me a minute,” she said. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I want to clean up a little before I head back out.”
“I’ll wait for you,” I said.
“No,” she shook her head. “No need. I’ll be quick. You go order us some drinks and I’ll meet you at the table.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. I searched her face for a clue as to what was bothering her so much, but I found mothing.
“Positive.”
Part of me wanted to stay put, but I could tell she needed space. I turned and unlocked the bathroom door. With a glance back at her, I pushed it open and let myself out into the hallway. When the door swung shut behind me, I stared at it for a fraction of a second. It wouldn’t do any good to wait outside the door, I told myself. With a sigh, I left the hallway and walked slowly up to the bar.
“Two more,” I said to the bartender. He nodded and went to work pouring our drinks. All around me people were getting rowdier. It was almost midnight and even in Bradberry, things always began to heat up around this time.
I glanced around me and noticed the people in the pub. There were a lot more people than before Piper and I disappeared into the bathroom. Most of the tables were packed and there were even a few guys standing over by the jukebox. As I watched, I noticed that one of the guys was someone I recognized. I looked away quickly, my heart beginning to race.
“Alexander!” A voice called from behind me. Shit. The last thing I needed was a run in with McCullers. I pretended like I didn’t hear him until he was standing directly behind me. “Hey, Logan!”
I turned around slowly and plastered a smile on my face.
“McCullers,” I said. “What the hell are you doing here man?”
“Just making the rounds,” he shrugged. “Visiting some friends up in New Haven. Thought we’d take a little road trip. I didn’t know you lived around here!”
“Yeah man,” I said. “Bradberry is home.”
“Where?” McCullers asked. His eyes looked glazed over and I knew he was already drunk. I couldn’t blame him; I wasn’t exactly sober myself.
“Here,” I explained. “This town. Bradberry.”
“Right,” McCullers nodded. “Well, let me buy you a drink! Man, it has been way too long.”
“Just a few months,” I said softly. The last time I saw McCullers was at Young’s funeral. The memory made the alcohol in my stomach churn.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “Look man, it would be great to catch up with you, but I’m actually here with someone. She’s in the bathroom right now, but she’ll be out in a minute.”
“Oh!” McCullers yelled with a grin. “A lady? Well, I should meet her! Tell her what she’s getting herself into with the likes of you.”
McCullers bumped me good-naturedly. I tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. He didn’t notice.
“That would be great,” I said. “But maybe another night, okay? It’s kind of a date, you know? Just us.”
“I see,” McCullers said, his face changing in an instant. “Don’t have time for an old buddy.”
“It’s not that, man…”
“No, forget it,” he snapped. “I don’t know what I expected. You haven’t kept in touch with any of us since we all left the SEALs. Too good for us now?”
“It’s not that,” I said again. “Things have just been hard.”
“Hard?” McCullers laughed. “Yeah, I bet they have. Carrying around all that guilt can’t be easy.”
“Guilt?” I felt my face flush.
“We all know what really happened that night,” McCullers spat.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I turned away, my head spinning with anger and intoxication. I couldn’t believe McCullers would dare talk about that op.
“Yes, you do,” McCullers said. He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face him. He got in my face, spit flying in my eyes as he spoke. “We all know why Young died, Alexander. You should have been there. You were the closest and you let him die. You just let him…”
Fuck him.
When my fist hit his face, I barely knew what happened. I connected with his jaw and his head jerked to the side. I didn’t wait for him to fight back. I tackled him to the ground, knocking a chair over as we went. We landed hard. McCullers rolled us over and pinned me down. He punched me twice before I kicked him off me and threw him to the ground. My foot connected with his stomach and I felt him curl inward. The satisfaction I felt was so great that I kicked him again. And again. Until someone I didn’t know pulled me away from him.
I struggled against the arms that held me, kicking wildly.
“Get out of here!” the bartender yelled. “Both of you!”
I was carried out into the parking lot and thrown onto the ground. It wasn’t long before McCullers was thrown next to me. I scrambled to my feet and immediately put some distance between us. The fight was over. We didn’t need to throw anymore punches.
McCullers glared at me while his buddies patted him on the back and led him away. I watched as they disappeared across the parking lot. I glanced down at my hand and saw that it was bleeding. I cursed and wrapped it tightly in my shirt. When I looked back up, Piper was standing in front of me with a look of fury on her face.
“Piper,” I began. I had almost forgotten about her completely. “I can explain.”
“Save it,” she spat. She stormed past me. I turned and ran after her.
“Stop!” I said. “Please, just listen. You don’t understand.”
“Oh, I understand perfectly, Logan,” she yelled. She turned on me and took a step forward. Her eyes were on fire with rage and alcohol. “This is just who you are! Right when things start to get good again, you sc
rew it up! You start throwing punches in bars! Beating the crap out of random strangers and…”
“He wasn’t random!” I screamed. “You have no idea what you’re talking about!”
“The hell he wasn’t!” she screamed back. “I can’t believe I fell for your crap again!”
“Will you just listen to me?” I begged. “Please. I can explain. I know that guy, okay? We were in the SEALS together. On the same team and…”
“So, you were fighting with someone you served with?!” Piper demanded. “What the hell is wrong with you?! What kind of person have you become?”
“I don’t know!”
I felt my entire body shake. My blood was boiling as I remembered the things McCullers said inside Kellan’s. His words hit me harder than anything ever had. He finally put into words exactly how I’d felt since the night Young died. No one knew how much that night tore me apart. Even my own team members thought I was responsible. I always thought it was my fault, but after my confrontation with McCullers, I knew I was right.
“I’m going home,” Piper announced. She looked at me with disgust and shook her head. “Don’t follow me. Don’t ever speak to me again.”
“Piper!” I called after her as she hurried down the street. I moved to follow her, but my legs weren’t strong enough to hold me. After everything that happened that night, I couldn’t stand for another second. I collapsed on the asphalt and rolled onto my back.
As I stared up at the stars, the world around me spun and my stomach heaved uncomfortably. I rolled over and vomited. When I was done, I laid my head back down and closed my eyes.
“Alexander, you look like shit, man.”
I heard Young’s voice in my head as clearly as if he was laying right beside me. The tears began to flow.
“Get up,” he said. “You’re already pathetic enough without passing out in front of a bar. Just get up.”
“I can’t,” I said out loud. “I can’t do it anymore, Young.”
“You have to,” his voice whispered.
“Why?” I asked. My voice cracked with emotion.
“Because you lived, man,” he told me. “You lived.
Twins Make Four: A Mistaken Identity Secret Baby Romance Page 22