“Please, help yourself,” the woman said. I was so distracted looking around, that I momentarily forgot my hunger. She excused herself to clean up the muddy child while I had breakfast.
I just nodded and helped myself to some coffee. There was a nice spread on the table. Eggs, sausages and the biscuits from last night. I wasn’t shy with the jam. The biscuits were delicious. They made me miss being back in the States. I was so ready to go back but then all this happened. Now, I wasn’t in as much of a hurry. I didn’t even care about the watch that we were going to London to retrieve. Now, I was just having fun spending time with Eddy.
She walked into the room as I was pouring my second cup of coffee. Again, it was a few seconds of her being lost in her thoughts before she noticed me.
“You-you’re here,” she said.
“Good morning to you too,” I said. She gave me a small smile and walked towards the table. Since it was the first thing in the morning, I wished I was seeing her in a robe and slippers with no makeup and her hair a mess from bed, but she was dressed.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” she asked, pouring herself some coffee. She added cream and sugar to hers.
“Better than I thought I would,” I said. “The mattress was pretty comfortable after all. Either that or I was too tired.” She sat down across the table from me.
“I’m glad you survived,” she said.
“What happened in here?” I asked.
“What?”
“Your sitting room is practically empty. What happened?”
“Oh, I’m just redecorating,” she said.
“Redecorating?”
“I wanted to change the place around a bit, you know, since Russell passed. I feel like this is a good time to change things. Time for a fresh start. He had a terrible eye. Most of the decorating decisions were made decades before I even arrived. You know how it is.”
“Is that why that’s missing?” I asked, pointing to the patch on the wall. She took a drink of her coffee.
“I wanted to get rid of some of the things that reminded me of Russell.”
“I suppose that’s almost everything in the house then, is it?”
She smiled wryly. “The house was his. I just moved into it. If I’m honest I won’t miss a single thing. I can be ready to leave for London soon.”
I nodded. She didn’t want to talk about it. That was fine. I was curious that she had taken down that picture and not the other two where Russell was not in the photos. It seemed she was getting rid of all traces of him. Kissing the past goodbye and who could blame her. I would hate to be him, having my wife scrub my very existence from my home after I passed but the man did it to himself. I was happy for her. “Can we take some biscuits for the road?”
She blushed, smiling. I would have killed an army of men to kiss her just then but of course, that wouldn’t have been appropriate. “Of course. Take as much as you want.”
“Why do you have a housekeeper when you can cook like that?”
“Oh, Prue? I need the help with Riley and she’s worked on the estate for decades now. I can’t let her go. She’s family. I like the outfit by the way.”
“It was the best I could do with what I was given.”
“You look right at home. Would you like the role of permanent caretaker here?”
“Are you hiring? No offense, I think you need the help out there.”
She laughed. “I don’t think I can afford you.”
“I think I’m cheaper than you think,” I said, winking.
“That makes sense. You probably haven’t done a day’s work in your life. I’d be getting what I pay for,” she said. I laughed. This was nice. This was the first time that we had spent time like this. It didn’t feel like a date. It wasn’t that. It felt more natural than that, more comfortable. It felt homey like I was part of the family. All we needed was the little boy with us and the picture would be complete.
I felt my pulse pick up. I had never experienced life in a family that felt like this. This was the way it was supposed to feel. This was the family experience that I always wanted. A group of people who loved each other unconditionally. I imagined that I hadn’t slept in the cottage, that I woke up with Eddy here in the house, in her bed. After that, we had breakfast together then took the little boy out to jump in all the puddles he wanted. We spent the day together, enjoying each other’s company, feeling love, companionship, everything I had missed out on all my life.
I had given some thought to having children but nothing too serious. Eddy’s boy, Riley, was it? He was adorable. It never hit me so hard that that was what I wanted. My reluctance in the past didn’t come from not wanting it, but not having anyone in my life that I wanted it with. I wanted this, all of it with Eddy.
Good job, I realized it on our last day together. After getting the watch back in London, what excuse did I have to see her anymore?
What about asking her to stay in London?
How was I going to do that? She was a widow now, but she didn’t seem torn up about it. She was free. She was still a young woman. Single for the first time in five years, why would she want to tie herself down again?
I needed this with her. I didn’t know that she didn’t want the same thing. I had to at least ask. I had to make sure before I counted myself out. I was doing it.
I was getting the girl.
18
Edwina
I peered out of the window, watching the world whizz by. Niall was in the driver’s seat absolutely flooring it. Could he drive any faster? He drove a sports car but this wasn’t the bloody Formula One.
“How long did you say it took to get to London again?” I asked.
“Hm? Oh, just about fourish hours. Less if I drive fast.”
“Oh, don’t do that. We aren’t in a hurry,” I said. The landscape was a blur outside the windows, he was driving so fast. We were still far enough outside the city that the roads were almost deserted. He was in violation of several traffic rules for sure. I wasn’t fearing for my life yet, more just nervous about what was waiting for us at our destination.
Niall was focused enough on driving that he didn't notice how stressed out I was. I was absolutely losing it. I had the money in my bag. As long as the plan worked out exactly the way I needed it to, then everything would be alright. That was easy enough to say right now, but once we actually got to London, I had to think on my feet. I was not going to the appraiser’s with him. I had to create some sort of diversion, tell him something so that he left me alone for as long as it took to exchange the ten thousand pounds for the watch.
“I never really get to test out this baby’s power, you know? Driving in the city all the time.” Oh, so that was it. He was living his James Bond fantasy right now and I was his prisoner.
“Riley would be having the time of his life,” I said under my breath.
“You should have let him tag along.”
Right. Absolutely. As if the amount of stress I was going through right now wasn't enough. I needed the additional stress of having my four-year-old with us as I was trying to exchange ten thousand pounds for a watch that I shouldn't have sold in the first place. Children had no filter. Riley would say something out of turn the first chance that he got, thinking nothing of it and not understanding when mummy got upset afterward. I was glad Riley wasn’t here, it was for the best. I didn’t want to risk Niall getting perceptive on me and figuring out that my son was actually his as well.
“Maybe next time,” I said. Not. There was not going to be a next time. I was not getting into another situation like this ever again. After this, Niall and I would never see each other again. This close call would be the last and I could finally sleep at night.
“He seemed in good spirits this morning,” he said.
“Sorry?”
“I saw him this morning. He was playing in the puddles in front of the house.”
It took a while for me to remember that I told him my son was sick yesterday.
“Oh, oh, of course, he was. As soon as there are puddles to play in, he is healthy as a horse,” I said.
“He’s an adorable little boy,” he said. I smiled at that. Riley had a legion of fans. He was lovable and smiley, it drew everyone in.
“He is. Thank you.”
“How did he cope with his father passing?” he asked.
“He was sad, of course, he was upset but… I told you about Russell. It wasn’t just me he ignored, it was his son too. He spent almost no time with him. I didn’t like it, but it wasn’t like I could force him to parent his son.”
“Sadly, I get it,” he said. He was ignored as a kid too but for a different reason than my son was. “I don’t know how any man could have a kid like that and not want to spend any time with him. See him grow up. Love him.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Wonderful. It wasn’t enough that I was working myself into a lather trying to figure out how to exchange the watch for cash again. No, I had to think about how my son’s biological father would have given him the love and attention that he deserved and needed growing up. How my staying quiet had meant my son had spent his most formative years thinking an absentee drunkard was his dad. I blinked back tears.
“Yeah. I tried but I couldn’t change him. He wasn’t in the marriage from the start. Why would that change when a baby showed up?”
“He deserves better too. Your son, I mean. Russell, no offense, is better off where he is right now.”
I agreed. It bothered me that I didn't feel as bad about Russell passing as maybe I should have. We were together for five years. It was a bad five years and he ignored me for most of it, but I developed an unhealthy enough attachment to stay the whole time. When he passed, there should have been more of a difference than when he was still around for me, so I never really had to mourn him.
“I didn't really care that he did it to me but doing it to the boy was completely unnecessary and cruel, no matter what he felt about me.”
“How was he around his son? Did things ever get out of hand?”
I turned my body slightly so Niall was totally out of my field of vision. “Sorry but I’d rather not spend any more time talking about Russell.”
“Sorry for crossing any lines.”
Talking about Russell wasn't the issue. He was interested in Russell, but he was interested in Riley too and I couldn't say more about Riley than had already been said. I didn't know how much I could reveal about him without getting to the fact that Niall was his real father.
We sat in silence for a while as the countryside morphed slowly into the city and the roads became steadily more congested. My mind that had been constantly churning had finally landed on a possible yet flimsy plan.
“Hey, since we're in London and it's going to be a little while before I come back again, I was thinking that maybe I could get some shopping done. Would that be ok with you?”
“That's no problem at all. Did you want to do that before or after handling the watch?”
“Before, I think it's going to take much less time than the shopping.”
“Where did you want to go?” he asked.
A mall was my best bet. There was one close to the pawnbroker’s where I sold the watch. After parking, we headed inside. I usually liked being back in London since life on the estate got lonely but I couldn’t enjoy it this time. We walked through the mall, me trying to make myself look like I actually intended to spend some money. I directed him to a boutique that I had been to before. Their price range was one I used to be able to afford but not so much anymore. I chose it because it was smaller and less crowded than the high street shops. I was betting on him getting bored looking at the racks of blouses and dresses and asking to leave while I finished up.
I picked a random rack and started flicking through the clothes, painfully aware of Niall behind me. Two separate shop attendants came and asked us whether we needed any assistance and I had to turn them both away, unwilling to waste their time when I had no intention of helping either earn a commission today. Niall hovered at my shoulder, silent and patient. My god, was it infuriating. I needed him to get bored and leave. I pulled a random dress off the rack.
“Is there any way I can get this in my size?” I asked an attendant.
“Definitely. I’ll take that for you. You can make your way to the change rooms,” she said. I turned to Niall and tried to look apologetic.
“Will you be okay waiting?” I asked. He shrugged, looking totally nonplussed.
“Take your time.”
“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”
“I don’t mind.”
I trudged over to the change rooms and closed the door. Perfect. He was patient and accommodating when I wanted him to be impatient and irritable. I never thought the day would come when I complained that a man was behaving gentlemanly towards me. The shop attendant came and handed me the dress. I felt sorry for wasting her time but the situation was dire.
“Excuse me,” I said, before she left. “The man I walked in with? Could you send him in here?” She said it was no problem. I looked around the room and sat down on the little bench. Shortly, I heard activity outside, then a knock on the door.
“Everything alright, Eddy?”
I shot up. “Everything’s fine. I just wanted to ask, could you get us some coffees while I’m here? We can meet when I’m done.”
“Oh, sure. No problem.”
He left. I waited a few minutes, and then I rushed out, apologizing to the attendant that I wasn’t going to get the dress after all. I practically ran out of the mall, down the road to the shop where I sold the watch. I was panting when I walked in. The pawnbroker was the fastest way I could think of at the time to get quick cash. Nothing was for free; what a time to remember that lesson. I walked over to the counter, to the man who served me before. He greeted me and I had to remember my manners, returning it before I got right to business.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes. I was here not that long ago. I sold you a watch. That was a mistake however and I’m here to see whether I can get it back. I have all the cash, ten thousand pounds.” I handed the man the ticket. He looked it over.
“Ah, the Patek piece,” he said.
“Yes. I have all the money. Can I buy it back?”
The man disappeared briefly and brought back the watch. He smiled, holding it in his hands like it was much heavier than it was.
“This piece is worth far more than ten thousand, love.”
“You gave me ten thousand for it.”
“I’ll need thirty throusand to give it back to you.”
My jaw dropped. “That’s ridiculous. You valued it and you gave me ten thousand.”
The man shrugged. “I can't lose money on this. Either you buy it for thirty, or you leave.”
“This is robbery,” I said.
“Madam!”
“No. This is unacceptable. You tricked me. You stole my watch.”
He raised a hand, looking over my shoulder. I turned and saw a security guard walking towards us.
“You buy the watch for my price or you can leave,” he said again.
I stood, dejected on the pavement. How did he get away with running a business like that? He was the one who valued the watch, how did he… it didn’t matter. I didn’t have thirty thousand pounds. My brains and my guts churned as I walked back into the mall. Niall was standing outside the boutique with two coffees when I came back. I shot him an apologetic smile.
“Hey. Where did you go?” he asked.
“Sorry. I just went to the restroom.” I took one of the coffees from him.
“Didn’t you buy anything?”
“The dress didn’t turn fit the way I liked. I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.”
He said it was fine. We went back to his car. “Straight to the appraiser, then?”
I swallowed, sitting in the passenger seat. “Actually. I called ahead and they aren’t open today.”
> “That’s odd. It’s a weekday. They should be.”
“I’m sorry for making you come here.”
“I was coming back to London anyway. It’s no loss.” I exhaled, feeling my chest release. His easy attitude was exactly what I needed, even though I didn’t deserve it, being the dirty, stinking, no-good liar that I was being.
“Look. How about this? Can you drop me off at my friend’s house in Mayfair? I’d feel strange heading straight back to Belshire like this.”
“I offered you my suite. How about you stay, use the spa, have some pampering before you leave?”
“I don’t feel like I can take that offer,” I said.
“It’s no problem, truly,” he said. I shook my head.
“Missy will kill me if she finds out I came to London and didn’t come to see her.”
“If you’re sure.” He started the car, giving up. I leaned back in my seat, telling myself it wasn’t hurt that I heard in his voice. This had been a total failure and a waste of his time. I couldn’t be around him anymore. He was hiding it well, but he was upset, and I didn’t want to make it worse. If he was this upset now, how bad would it be when he found out what I did to his watch? I gave him directions to Missy’s place then texted her.
Hey, are you home? Heading to yours right now.
She replied almost immediately.
Get over here right now.
I kept my eyes forward so I wasn’t looking at Niall. I needed to fix this. I had to bite the bullet and borrow the money that I needed to pay him back. Missy would give me anything I asked for but I still hated asking. If I got the twenty thousand from her, I could get the watch back and everything with Niall would be smoothed over. He wouldn’t know that I sold the watch and that I had lied to him. He could go his way still thinking I was a decent person and I could die of guilt at peace in my county home. I needed this to end. Anymore time together, and I was afraid of what would happen. I could see myself falling for him and that was impossible.
Admit You Love Me: A Secret Baby Romance (Irresistible Billionaires Book 2) Page 11