But…wait. Papá had put a flashlight in her nightstand in case the electricity went out, although he said her nightlights’d come on too. “It’s nice to know you have light, right, mija?”
A stab of guilt hit her. He was so nice. He acted like…like a real dad.
Another meow sounded. She pulled open the drawer, grabbed the flashlight, and ran down the hall into the garage. After shoving her feet into boots, she yanked on her puffy red jacket, and went out the garage’s side door, which was outside her bedroom window. It was a strange house, since the part that looked out on the road was boring. In cities, the street side was the pretty one. In the Hermitage, all the big windows and fancy stuff faced into the “compound” and toward the lake.
Stopping in the snow right outside the door, she scolded herself, because she forgot to check first. Bull said to never step outside without letting her eyes adjust to the dark and doing a quick look outside first. “Be able to see and know what you’re walking into.”
She squinted against the wind. In the dark and covered with snow, everything looked different.
“Kitty?” she whispered.
No meow. But as she walked farther, she saw tracks. Little paws kind of tracks. She checked them with her flashlight. Uncle Gabe had showed her and JJ and Audrey how to tell dog and cat tracks apart. Kitties didn’t have claw marks and the heel dent should look like a blobby “m”. She’d told Uncle Gabe the “m” looked like the fat lettering kids spray-painted on buildings in the city. He’d laughed.
It was easy to get her uncles and Papá to laugh.
She bit her lip and glanced at the cabin. The grownups wouldn’t laugh about her being outside in the dark. Even foster homes had rules about that.
But…the cat.
She’d hurry. Trudging forward, she followed the tracks and out onto the snow-covered flat road where her light shone off the tall reflectors. The road curved, but the tracks went straight and across the ditch and right into the forest.
Her hand was shaking, making the flashlight jump. It was so cold, and jammies weren’t as warm as jeans. She pulled her mittens out of the pockets and put them on, then broke into a half run. She went past trees and bushes, and everything was so dark.
There wasn’t as much snow under the trees, and sometimes she had to search for the tracks after a bare spot. “Kitty? Kitty, want to come home with me? There’s food.”
The tracks disappeared into a bunch of bushes, ones she couldn’t get through. Shivering, Regan called the cat again. “Kitty.” Only the wind was so loud, would it even hear her?
No tracks. No kitty. Giving up, she turned around and saw only trees. Trees everywhere. Okay, she’d follow her own tracks back home. But…her footprints got fainter. No, it was getting darker in the forest. The trees seemed to be moving closer.
With horror, she lifted the flashlight and turned it toward herself. The bulb was just a dim yellow.
And then it went out completely.
Having left the men talking on Mako’s deck, JJ had gone up to her rooms and changed into pajamas for bed. She grinned at herself in the bathroom mirror. Why did she have the feeling she’d be dreaming about being tossed out into a snowbank for fighting?
First Sergeant Mako had been quite a hardass.
A loud clanging made her jump. It came from the inner compound, and just the sound was urgent. Frightening. Still in her pajamas, she stepped out on the upstairs deck.
Caz stood at the patio grill, ringing the big bell that stood off to one side. Huh, she’d always thought it was just a kind of yard art.
“Yo, what’s wrong, bro?” Bull called, probably from his deck that she couldn’t see from her balcony.
“Regan isn’t in the house. The door in the garage is unlocked, her coat and boots are gone. She left tracks but they’re fading fast. We need to find her.”
JJ’s heart sank as she looked into the dark night. The wind-whipped snow was falling heavily, muffling sound, and decreasing visibility.
“You got it. Meet you outside your garage.” Bull disappeared.
Gabe was on his own deck, talking to Audrey and pointing to Caz’s house. Maybe asking Audrey to stay in Caz’s cabin in case Regan returned.
JJ yanked on a thermal shirt, a fleece overshirt, then cold weather clothing, grateful that Lillian had made her buy the serious stuff. She grabbed a flashlight as well as Mako’s small emergency pack. Gabe had given the backpack to her and explained everything in it.
Downstairs, she ran out through the garage. Someone had turned on floodlights outside, illuminating the thickly falling snow. Outside the pools of light, night reigned.
Two of the guys were already following tracks. Bull and Caz. Why hadn’t they waited for her?
Oh, duh, they wouldn’t know she was joining them. Stretching her legs, she moved faster. The powdery snow was piling up quickly. Deeply. A tremor ran through her. Regan was so little.
“Hey,” she called.
Both men turned.
Before they could speak, she said, “Tell me what you need me to do as we keep moving.”
“Thank you, JJ.” Caz touched her arm in a gesture of gratitude.
“Let’s go.” Bull surged forward, his flashlight pointing where small footprints had made a path. As Caz had said, snow had already partially filled in the tracks.
JJ followed the men, turning every now and then to look behind her, fixing markers in her head. It was frightening how quickly the lighted houses disappeared in the dark and the whipping snow.
When they reached the smoother road, they broke into a jog. On the other side of the snow-filled roadside ditch were pole-mounted solar lights that marked the edge of their private airplane runway. The glow from those lights was barely visible. Damn.
She glanced behind her again. “Gabe isn’t coming to search?”
Caz followed her gaze. “He’s getting his snow machine out of the outbuilding and gassed up. We should have been more prepared.”
“The sarge’d be pissed we got caught with our pants down,” Bull said.
As they reached the end of the cleared land, the road turned, and the tracks continued straight into the dense forest. Not good. In the trees, the patchy snow and bare ground made footprints difficult to see.
Bull roared, “Regan. Regan, shout if you can hear me!”
The wind whipped the sound of his voice away.
Caz led, stopping to snap branches at intervals to mark their trail. The tracks went deeper into the woods, on and on. JJ shivered and pulled her coat tighter. The thought of the child out here…alone…was appalling.
What had Regan been thinking?
At a wide, bare space of frozen ground, the tracks disappeared.
Face tight with worry, Caz snapped several more branches to mark the way back out. “Bull, check for tracks to the right, I’ll go straight, JJ, head left. As soon as you reach snow, circle clockwise and see if you can cross her trail. If you reach these broken branches, you’ve come full circle. Stop and wait. If you find tracks, shout and mark the spot with three branches in a teepee. Don’t forget to mark your back trail.”
He wrenched off three long branches, handed them to her, then hesitated. “You’re not used to snow…maybe—”
“I got this.” She slapped his shoulder and headed left…although his concern sent a sweet warmth through her.
She was out of sight of their flashlights, all too soon. Past the small circle of her light, the trees were ominous black sentinels. Bushes filled in gaps between the trees as she trudged through the snow, circling the windswept area. She stopped every few paces to run her flashlight over the snowy areas before moving on.
It was so cold. The air bit at her lungs, stung her cheeks, and she shivered. If she was cold, little Regan must be freezing. Fear washed over JJ. If they didn’t find Regan soon, the little girl might not survive. She’d helped search for children in the desert. Two hadn’t made it.
This was so much worse.
Urgency
bit at her tired feet. Move faster.
The high whine of a snowmobile sounded. Gabe was on the road.
Wait, what was that? She bent forward, and her light showed a shadow—a depression in the snow. A footprint. “Here!” she shouted. “Tracks are here.”
The way the sound of her voice echoed off the trees, even if the men heard her, they’d be unable to get a good direction.
She wouldn’t wait. Moving away from the footprint a couple of steps, she pushed the three branches into the snow and used the stringy smaller limbs to secure one to another. There was her teepee marker.
Grabbing a bunch of dead branches from the bushes, she returned to the trail and laid the branches on top of the snow in a straight line to mark the beginning of the path.
Then she followed the tracks, dragging one foot at intervals to deepen the path she was leaving behind her, snapping any branches close enough to reach. Hurrying and dragging and snapping. Her breath came hard, and she felt the trickle of sweat down her back.
“Regan!” She kept going, slowing to search for the small footsteps past bare patches. Leaving branches to mark those spots.
“Regan!”
A high-pitched shout made her stop. Hope rose. She almost abandoned the trail to follow the sound, but another shout changed her mind. The sound was bouncing off the tree trunks. Impossible to get a good direction. “Stay where you are, Regan. I’m coming. Stay put!”
Farther and farther. Don’t be stupid and get lost. Drag a foot in the snow. Break a branch.
God, she was tired. And so damn cold. No little girl should be out in this. How cold was Regan?
Her flashlight caught something—bright red. A jacket.
“Regan.” Tears filled JJ’s eyes, and she almost tripped.
“JJ!” Regan flew forward, wrapped one arm around JJ, and burrowed against her.
Putting the flashlight down, JJ hugged her back. “It’s okay. You’re found. It’s okay.”
“I was so scared. I’m so cold.”
A high meow sounded, and a brown furry head appeared in the neck of Regan’s coat. From inside the coat.
“That’s a cat.” Well, duh, JJ, state the obvious.
“I heard him, and I followed him so I could rescue him, but I couldn’t catch up. But when my flashlight went away, he came back for me.”
JJ could barely understand the words with Regan’s teeth chattering so hard. But…a cat. Of course, the child had gone after it. Caz would have a fit.
Except, how could he? He’d have done the very same thing.
Smiling, JJ knelt, opened her pack, and dug out the emergency blanket. The kid had on boots, mittens, and a jacket, but her pajama bottoms looked soaked through. “I’m going to wrap this around you. Can you walk? I’m not sure I can carry you and the cat and still juggle the flashlight.”
Regan’s pointed chin went up although JJ could feel the shivers coursing through her body. “I can walk.”
The child had a hood on her jacket. And the cat was probably keeping her core temperature up, which was good for both of them. “Can you feel your feet? Wiggle your toes?”
“Uh-huh. But my fingers are…”
Of course. JJ grabbed the small gel hand warmers and flexed the disc as Gabe had shown her. As they activated, she tucked one into each mitten. They were supposed to get warm in a couple of minutes. “That’ll help.”
Rising, JJ pulled in a breath. “Time to get out of here. Hang onto the cat, but if he gets too heavy, I’ll carry him. We’re going to walk side-by-side”—even though that would be harder—“so we don’t lose each other. Just tell me to stop if you need a break. Right?”
“’K.” Regan was shivering so hard that JJ’s heart broke. But shivering was better than not shivering.
JJ started off, gripping a fistful of the girl’s jacket in one hand, her flashlight in the other. She’d done a good job of dragging one foot. The track she’d left was clear—here, at least.
Was that a light? She froze, blinked the snow from her eyelashes. “Yes!”
A light bobbed in the forest. No, two lights, coming fast.
“Regan! JJ!” Caz’s shout was clear, followed by Bull’s booming yell.
Regan let out a squeak, then a loud, “Papá!”
“Here! We’re here!” JJ whipped her flashlight in a circle and forced herself to stay at a pace Regan could manage.
A flashlight blinded her for a second, and then the men were there.
“Dios, Regan!” Caz squeezed JJ’s shoulder in unspoken gratitude and scooped up his daughter.
“Don’t squish the cat,” JJ yelled, hoping he’d hear before one of them got scratched.
“Cat. You have a…” The torrent of Spanish that followed was incomprehensible.
Bull was laughing as he wrapped an arm around JJ for a quick hug. “Good job, JJ. Bro, let’s head back. I can hear the girl’s teeth chattering from here. We’ll take turns carrying her.”
“Lead on,” Caz said.
JJ was cold and exhausted…and couldn’t stop smiling.
His house was finally quiet. As his family made their way to their own homes, Caz closed the deck door and walked back into the living area.
Once out of the forest, Regan had gone with Gabe on the snow machine back to the house while Caz had stuffed the cat down his own jacket for the walk back. They’d arrived as Audrey was helping Regan out of a warm bath. With the cat and girl reunited, hot chocolate and tea had to be drunk, and stories had to be told. Everyone watched to make sure she was past the dangers of hypothermia.
It was a miracle kids were so resilient.
After Caz had tucked her in, JJ read her a story while he thanked his family and saw them out.
Footsteps came down the hallway. JJ.
“Is she asleep?” Caz asked.
“Not quite. She wants you to come in to say goodnight. Again.” JJ’s brows drew down. “She’s pretty worried about you being angry. You’re not going to yell at her, are you?”
“No. Tomorrow we’ll talk about what she did wrong and what she did right.” Caz smiled. “At least she remembered what I’d told her about hikers staying put if lost.” However, she hadn’t taken her emergency bag, or told anyone where she was going, and had left the house after… “It’s going to be difficult not to yell.”
“If you yell at her, I’ll yell at you,” JJ warned—and she wasn’t joking.
The cop had a definite soft spot for Regan. Caz was smiling as he walked down the hall.
Regan’s bedroom was dark, lit only by the nightlights. In the quiet house, he could hear the patter of wind-whipped snow against the windows and the slow purr of a very happy stray cat.
“Papá.” Regan’s eyes opened, and she tried to sit up. “I’m sorry, Papá. Are you mad at me?”
“No, mija. I told you that I’m not angry.” He smiled at her. “Did you think of a name for the cat?”
“He’s Sirius.”
“Good name.” His girl had fallen in love with the Harry Potter universe. Caz stroked her hair then ran his hand down the longhaired brown tabby’s back. It was scrawny, the fur was dull. Recent rations had been poor, it seemed.
“I’m sorry.” Regan’s eyes, so big and brown, pleaded. “I should have—”
“Shhh. We’ll talk it all over tomorrow.”
“You…you won’t make me leave?”
Dios, she was worried about that? “Absolutely not.”
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t know I had a daughter, or I would have come for you before, Regan. You’re mine now, and…and I love you, mija.” Yes. There was the truth. “And I will never stop.”
“You do? Really?”
How had he not realized how much he cared?
Or told her? Mako—none of them—were the types to go around saying such things. But, that was his family’s shortcoming. He’d been an idiot not to realize his little girl needed to hear how he felt. “Yes, I love you very much.”
Her f
ragile shoulders were still tensed.
“You’re my girl, and this is your home.” He smiled slightly, remembering what Mako had said when he’d taken them out of the foster home. “If you come with me, I’ll raise you till you can stand on your own two feet.”
“Regan, you’ll live here until you’re all grown up and ready to head off to college or your own place or get married. Until you’re ready to try your wings. And right here with me will always be where you can return when you need to.”
There, that was what she’d needed to hear. Her body went slack, and she sighed as if holding herself tense had taken all her strength.
Then the cat butted her hand, as if to remind her she had more than one problem.
Before she could worry about that, too, Caz chuckled. “Yes, Sirius may stay. You’re in charge of food, water, the litter box, and any messes he makes.” He eyed the long hair, white ruff, and bushy tail. Looked like it had some forest cat DNA. “And brushing all that fur, as well.”
“Really?” Her eyes were wide, her breathing almost stopped, and then her eyes lit with happiness.
“Really.” Caz bent down to kiss her cheek. “Now sleep, mi tesoro. You won’t have school tomorrow—the roads will be closed—so you can sleep late.”
“Oh…” She flung her arms around his neck. “I love you, too, Papá. Thank you for finding me. For coming after me.”
He hugged her, breathing in the soft scent of clean little girl. His little girl. “I will always come and find you. That’s what fathers do.”
As he walked out of the room, he couldn’t remember why he’d run so hard and long from loving someone.
Chapter Sixteen
The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead. ~ Marilyn Monroe
* * *
Unable to settle yet, JJ picked up the living room. Then she washed the mugs and glasses. Then she tidied the kitchen. Because she couldn’t get herself to leave. Little Regan had almost died.
The knowledge was impossible to deal with.
A sound made her look up. Caz walked from the hallway into the kitchen, pulling off his heavy flannel shirt. He probably didn’t even realize she was still there, and now she’d have to…
Lethal Balance Page 18